Hindsight is 20/20

Most Valuable...

Asked Junior what his goals were (Jr. Year HS) and told him that I would help him achieve them...even when he didn't want me to (i.e. remind him of his commitment to take a run, when he got lazy, ask him if his goals had changed..etc)

Made a spreadsheet of all the schools that had contacted him or he was interested in so that we could visibly sort their attributes and rank them. The volume of initial interest was overwhelming, narrowing it down at each phase made it manageable.

Attend the PG WWBA in Jupiter...it's where he met his current coach who had no intention of scouting him. He was just there watching Juniors game and liked him.

Regrets

I could have kept my mouth shut more (insert any situation and it probably fits)

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The 3 most valuable things I have done, as a parent or a coach, for my player(s).

1) Be relaxed so as to not contribute to the inevitable pressure.

2) Let the coaches do the coaching.

3) Find the teams that provide the best fit.

The 3 things I would not do again if I had it to do over.

1) During an after game dinner approaching midnight, If I had to do it all over again I would not watch my younger son (aka:"The Bottomless Pit"), after being dared by his older brother, chug a full gravy boat at the Denny's on Ashley Phosphate Rd. in North Charleston, SC.

2) Trust my young softball playing daughters when they offer me sunblock on a very hot and sunny Kansas afternoon. I fell for it only once. I still have twinkling remnants of that glitter-laced sunblock in regions I can no longer reach. And that gleam in my eye? It has nothing to do with my disposition!

3) Agree to let the chef pitch a piece of pork across the restaurant and into my mouth at the China House Restaurant‎ in the Shore Center Shopping Center north of Euclid Memorial Park. I'm still not sure how to score that play.

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quote:

1) During an after game dinner approaching midnight, I would not watch again my younger son (aka:"The Bottomless Pit"), after being dared by his older brother, chug a full gravy boat at the Denny's on Ashley Phosphate Rd. in North Charleston, SC.

Love that Denny's.

I would:

1) Coach him when he was young again -- I knew him better than other dads and I know it helped him and it was a ton of fun. I would also quit coaching (7th Grade) at the same time. It was time to be really coached at that time.

2)Tell him that his grades were more important than his velocity.

3) Attend Headfirst camp before senior year. He gained the exposure which was right for him.

I would not:

1) have missed any inning of any game. Some were completely unavoidable, but a couple of big ones I was led to believe one thing, made a judgement call, and then learned that I had missed a tremendous performance.

2) have worried so much about the next level. They got there in there own time and no amount of worrying changed that.

3)waited so long before checking out the advice on this forum.

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quote:

Originally posted by BobbleheadDoll:
Love that Denny's.

I figured you would BHD...it being in your home-away-from-home neighborhood.

We were fortunate that the spattered gravy wiped off the quilted stainless steel walls so nicely.

The hostess that night, for some reason, was rather amused by it all.




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I stay at th Holiday Inn just down the street.

Those waitresses were kinda crazy.

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quote:

Originally posted by BobbleheadDoll:
Those waitresses were kinda crazy.

Don't I know it..they were a good fit for our bunch!




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Most Valuable Things I Did:
1. Worked my butt off educating myself about pitching, etc.
2. Spent thousands of hours at the ballfield with my son.
3. Started reading HS Baseball Web, Baseball Excellence, etc.

Things I would not do again.
1. There were a few times where I probably should have kept my mouth shut, BUT,
2. There were also a few times where I said nothing. Frankly I regret those more.

Most Valuable:
Not try to relive my life through my son. I did my sports when I was young, now it is his turn. Taught him to listen and respect his coaches and teammates.
Seeing him in a college uniform (even if it's Dodger blue, ugh)
Regrets:
Not pushing the doctors hard enough find out what was really wrong if he knee. Not finding HSBBW 3years sooner so we didn't have to blindly figure what to do next.

Would do again:

1)Support his selection of school where he is attending
2)Supported his decisions on amount of playing time so as to limit arm and knee exposure
3)Encourage personal trainer summer before college, he is in great shape and has handled college workouts well.

Would not do again:

1)Leave Florida for Midwest travel team. He should have played here where Florida colleges are. Got a lot of calls from Midwest schools that he never would leave for.

2)Not focused on certain college camps, should have attended more PG events with the camp money. Should have played at Jupiter (missed it both Jr and Sr year due to school commitments.)

3)Not put so much emphasis in to certain college recruiter’s errr…, overtures. These sound familiar? In hindsight, I would have called the recruiter myself and put them on the spot after the 2nd or 3rd contact. All the bolded terms mean nothing as far as any commitment when we look back on it.

a. We look forward to recruiting you to catch at ____ University
b. It is our intent to sign you next fall
c. We continue to look forward to the opportunity for you catching at ____ University next year

quote:

Originally posted by southpaw_dad:
There have been many good threads started lately that have leant to good thoughts and reflections, and have extracted real pearls of wisdom from many of the most experienced members of our community.

I for one would love to read your reflections on the following:

Looking back, what do you see as being the 3 most valuable things you have done, as a parent or a coach, for your player(s)? and What are 3 things you would not do again if you had it to do over?

I'm sure there is a lot of wisdom out here to be shared with those trying to navigate the path. Thank you.

The most valuable things I did as a baseball parent were:
1.Make sure he was always having fun first as a youth player and let him do what he wanted which included not always putting baseball first and limited playing time (no year round baseball).
2. Make sure that dad didn't get obsessive or crazy and give up coaching when it was time to let others coach his son.
3. Didn't fall into the trap of spending gobs of money on going to every showcase or tournament invite that came in the mail (this also limits unnecessary time on the mound.
4. Place a strong emphasis on the importance of good grades.
5. Did lots of homework on the recruiting process when time came on the draft.

That's 5 , not sure that I would change anything, other than have attended more college games.

I do regret not starting him later as a pitcher, 13-14 instead of 8-9.

Things I did...

1.Pray blessings over him from infancy...that God would bless his words and deeds in whatever he participated in...academics, athletics, etc.

2. Place him in situations where his ability and desire would foster improvement...good travel ball and instruction from quality baseball people...let him "run" with his strengths and encourage him in his weaker areas, to become more "well-rounded". Present a good surrounding environment, model good behavior for him, encourage his involvement with good friends and adults who recognized and appreciated his desires/goals, and who cared for him. Constantly appreciate his positive choices. Get specific with people, contacts, camps to where that network would eventually be one that recognized what he could do.

3. Help him be properly thankful to those who believed in him, helped him and created positive things for him (academically, athletically and spiritually).

4. WWBA 17u Championships in Marietta...for him, this truly supercharged all the previous actions.

5. Let him know that his well-thought out choice would be excellent, since all the options were positive (probably as a result of the first four items mentioned).

For a total of six, I will mention one thing I would like to have done a little differently...narrow down the options...instead of wide and shallow, maybe a little deeper with things closer to familiarity (school options, camps, etc.)

quote:

Originally posted by gotwood4sale:
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3) Agree to let the chef pitch a piece of pork across the restaurant and into my mouth at the China House Restaurant‎ in the Shore Center Shopping Center north of Euclid Memorial Park. I'm still not sure how to score that play.[/LIST]




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Gotwood, I did not stop laughing for five minutes!

Rumor had it this picture was at one of your family picnics...

No one has better hindsight around here than Woody.

quote:

Looking back, what do you see as being the 3 most valuable things you have done, as a parent or a coach, for your player(s)? and What are 3 things you would not do again if you had it to do over?

Valuable:
1) Recognizing that his love of the game was paramount
2) Teaching deeds over dialog
3) Teaching humility
4) Realizing that baseball is never perfected
5) Taking a long term view on development

Not do agains:
1) Taking things too seriously
2) Getting upset at errors
3) Worrying too much about the future
4) Letting today's results ruin the fun of the present experience
5) Not always appreciating that the most important part was spending time together - not whether or not they performed well...

I am sure that there are other things that may occur to me at another time....

things I would do again
1- coach him and his LL and travel team until they reached high school age.
2- drilling the fundamentals with his travel team through fun competitions and scrimmages
3-getting to almost all of his travel and school games thanks to my work hours.

Things i wish I had done-
- take more pictures
-found this HSBBW website sooner
- let him know how I enjoyed our car trip talks on the way to the games as much as the games themselves!

sigh! when does college baseball start!

Great posts everyone.
1.Prayed everyday for him to be safe, healthy and happy.

2.Enjoyed all of our trips together, and will never forget them.

3.Gave him a lot of opportunities to train to be better, he always took them and ran.

What I wouldnt do yet still do it)
1.worry less about the future, try to enjoy the moment

2.YELL ( when were upset with each other)

3.NAG( although sometimes a little is needed.)

quote:

Trust my young softball playing daughters when they offer me sunblock on a very hot and sunny Kansas afternoon. I fell for it only once.

You and many other dads. They don't pick on the moms. With all my daughter has accomplished in softball this one is right up there near the top of her list of memories. I guess this is about remembering the fun stuff.

It's hard to get the parent of a young player to understand by the time it's over the memories are about the players, the coaches, the parents and the fun, not the stats. I never hear a former player say, "Remember when you hit that double." They remember the time your hat was super glued to the hook in your locker.

Do The Same:
1. Throw every pitch of BP, hit every ground ball and pop fly... loved every minute of it!
2. Give every ounce of my love and attention to him, allowing for his LOVE of the Game!!
3. Every hug, kiss, and pat on the back(and kick to the seat of his pants)!!!

Do Differently:
1. No pitching, ever! LOL

Hopefully there are many more years of Do The Same!!
GED10DaD

I have one who just finished playing and one who's establishing his college prospect potential. They have two different personalities. What was good for one sometimes has been a mistake with the other.

Done right:

* Made it fun
* Offered extra practice rather than pushed it
* Left the game at the park unless they wanted to discuss it
* Made them set development goals (not stats)
* As much as it killed me not to coach, recognizing at sixteen my son needed the kick in the rear from someone else or it would affect our relationship


Did wrong:

* The few times I put mouth in action before brain in motion. When I screwed this one up I was an all-star at it.


The two of the best things my kids have said to me:

Daughter: When I get on the team bus it reminds me of all those trips to travel tournaments we made together.

Son: For years you've been telling me 'academics first.' - when I got on him recently for missing a weeknight travel practice/he gets it


Advice: If you're tearing your kid's game apart on the way home it's not a bonding experience.

Gosh...let me think about this one...

Do the same:

Pray for my son's health, safety and happiness.

Never miss a tournament or game; no matter what as we support each other 100%.

Balance life so that he doesn't miss too many activities at home and can be part of high school life.

Do Overs!!!!

Don't put so much emphasis on perfection (his dad, not me).

When instinct tells you to check something out further, do it. Check out summer coaches and their programs so you chose the right team, age group and location to play and be seen.

Narrow down where he really wants to play, i.e. territory/area.

Don't forget to always have FUN...baseball is a game.

quote:

Originally posted by enjoyedtheride:
Don't forget to always have FUN...baseball is a game.

Welcome

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quote:

Originally posted by TPM:
No one has better hindsight around here than Woody.

It's all about having the right tool for the job TPM.




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"Looking back, what do you see as being the 3 most valuable things you have done, as a parent or a coach, for your player(s)? and What are 3 things you would not do again if you had it to do over?"

Valuable things as a parent:

1. Watched as many innings of my son's games as possible, and simply enjoyed watching him play.
2. Loved the game.
3. Loved my son, and made sure he knows it. (That's really #1.)

Do overs:

1. Got too excited or too disappointed over accomplishments at age 10, 11, etc.
2. Nagged
3. Missed a single chance to simply enjoy this wonderful young man who God entrusted to my care.

Julie

i'm guessing everything we did was valuable to some degree. to me it was the time spent traveling,practicing. i really like my son's as people.

i think i would have looked ahead in their baseball future. we never looked further than tomorrow's game. didn't have a plan, didn't know we needed one.

asked more questions sooner.but over all i'm a happy bb parent.

Great stuff. Thank you all for sharing your reflections. There are good lessons in here for those of us navigating the path.

Woody ... I have made a note about no chugging from gravy boats, but I don't think I'll be able to put a stop to pre-game and post-game meals at the Waffle House in Gainesville, FL ... two championships have been won on this magic formula

Amazing at the number of replies that incldue "wish I would have found this site sooner"

I too wish I would have found this site sooner! But as they say Better late than never!

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quote:

Originally posted by southpaw_dad:
I don't think I'll be able to put a stop to pre-game and post-game meals at the Waffle House in Gainesville, FL ... two championships have been won on this magic formula

With that amount of success southpaw I would have guessed your breakfast spot would have been...







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The best thing was the time I spent with my son.

The worst
Why did I ever worry about baseball....its only baseball

Right:
1 - Got them to love the game.
2 - Taught them to respect the game.
3 - Taught them how to play the game.
4 - Taught them how to act. (Didn't always work)
5 - Taught them to work hard.

Wrong:
Just about everything else.
I am an expert at doing the wrong things.
If only I knew then what I know now.

From a pure selfish standpoint, I didn't really enjoy it all enough.

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quote:

Originally posted by PGStaff:
I am an expert at doing the wrong things.

We took a vote PG. It was unanimous..."Don't doubt anything PG says".

And in that spirit we all thought that you should become familiar with this sign and what it means.



Your continued presence here on the HSBBW is desired!




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Right:
1. Ended up with a son who is a good person despite many mistakes on my part.
2. Introduced him to baseball
3. Got instruction for him other than mine.

Wrong:
1. Didn't hold him back in school when he was young and not ready for 1st grade.
2. Listened to him and my wife and didn't hold him back in 8th grade.
3. Didn't realize that being right doesn't matter when it comes to dealing w/ HS coaches. Just like the pedestrian with right-of-way who gets run over by a car, being "dead" right is not a good thing. Believed the HS coach and didn't have him transfer after sophmore season.

I forgot a real wrong ....

I taught my son who turned out to be lefthanded to throw righthanded when he was three because it ticked me off I couldn't play short when I played. At 6'1", 170 heading into his junior year he's just another pitcher throwing 82-84.

Put the ball in his left hand, add another inch or two and twenty pounds over the next year or so, and sort through the offers as his velocity increases a few more mph.

Because of his speed and ability to read the ball off the bat he's been moved from short to center this fall. He didn't need to be righthanded to play center.

To quote the Animal House, "Thank you. May I have another." Dumb! Dumb! Dumb! At least I got the hitting part correct. He bats left.

Did Right....

1) Never got down on him if he pitched poorly
2) Didn't play 'daddy ball' all the years I coached him, and he is a humble team player to this day.
3) Became a member of this site which allowed me to figure out the right things to do, college-wise, despite living overseas.
BONUS) Despite having a Stalker Pro on hand, only gunned him once a year. Same with little brother.

Did Wrong....(and so HS junior brother #2 benefits!)

1) Didn't pay enough attention to the mental game.
2) Hit him in the side of the head with a throw because I wasn't paying attention to the fact that he wasn't looking.
3) Wasted a lot of $$ on a couple worthless and over-hyped summer league teams.

Right:

1) Reinforced the work ethic to succeed in baseball.
2) Helped get him exposure
3) Sacrificed financially

Wrong:

1) Took it too seriously at a young age
2) Like Krak says, put him on a few dumb teams.
3) Underestimated his potential. He has consistently exceeded my expectations of him.

RJM.
Seems that someone is always attacking the left because they don't do it the right way, LOL.
Just remember, the right handed use the left side of the brain, the left handed use the right side of the brain, so as you can see left handed people are of the right mind. Just look at all the greatest pitchers and hitters.
Thank god they got rid of those old school desks made only for right handers. Where's Got Wood when you need him.

Did right:

1. Spent as much time as my boys wanted on baseball.
2. Taught them not to give up.
3. Taught them they are more important to me than this wonderful game we call baseball...

Did wrong:

1. Didn't play my 2nd to oldest son enough when I was his coach (just ask his mom).
2. During a little league game got into an argument with the drunk player agent who confronted me. I don't like drunks, but I still should have kept my cool.
3. Not using an L-screen during bp for 14U's. It cost me a shattered middle finger from a line drive that I could have gotten out of the way of. I guess I should be fortunate that's all that happened.

Right:
1. Have watched nearly every game he has played since 7. (big sacrifice financially but who cares…...priceless)
2. Coached him until HS and then found people who could take him much farther than I ever could.
3. Always kept a perspective on baseball’s importance in life.
4. Found HSBBW in time! (bonus point)

Wrong:

1. In the early years overestimated the importance of winning and agonized too much over the stupid losses.
2. Got mad one time and said some things I should not have. (fortunately only once)
3. Started a travel team.

Coach Waltrip I learned the L screen lesson at 12...5 stiches in the eye.

Add-on my wrong list:

I didn't take enough pictures or shoot video of him when he was a young player. All I have is in my memory -- how excited he was, sleeping in his uniform and with his glove - that kind of 10-year old stuff. I miss that. I hope my memory lasts a long time.