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How do you help?

ILVBBILVBB1,000+ posts
My son is a freshman, away from home playing ball at a very good school. Three weeks into the spring, he is exhausted and is stressed out from baseball and school.

He has class from 9am to 2pm, with breaks between classes which he uses to study. Then baseball from 2:30 to 7:30 each evening. He gets back to the dorms after the dining hall closes gets a couple hours of studing again and then all over again. He said that he has had dinner only 3 times in the last 2 weeks and then he had to have pizza sent in.

He is struggling to keep up with his classes and is starting to question the value of playing baseball. He said his performance on the field is below how he has played for the past few years. He indicated that he is not getting 1/10th of the number of swings that he did during HS which is impacting his confidence. This does not get into the differences that he experienced moving from HS to college (D3).

He feels that his performance on the field is subpar, he is falling behind in his classes, not eating properly and does not have the time to get his laundry done. On top of it all he says he is exhausted.

I am doing my best to tell him to be patient and to realize that 3 weeks (of which today was the first day on the field because of bad weather) is just the beginning and to be patient.

I am sure that I am not the first parent to hear this from their sons. Any advice or wisdom?
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S spizzlepop1,000+ posts
ILVBB,
I got a call like that not too long ago. Sounded like his world was caving in. Stress mostly. I didn't sleep much that night.

Next day got another call, this was a good day and all was well again. Kids are pretty resilient after all. Your son obviously loves the game, but the game isn't always as kind. He'll get back on top of it. He just needs a couple knocks and an attaboy.

They do get a day off (sorta) per week in D3 as well don't they? He'll probably catch up with the laundry then. Hang in there. Smile
P PGStaff10,000+ posts
ILVBB,

6 hours a day of baseball? That seems like a bit too much. Is this mostly conditioning, which is important, but kind of boring? Eating is sort of important, too. It's no wonder he's getting behind in his classes.

Hopefully things will slow down after awhile and he starts having a little fun. But not too much fun!

Best of luck!
ILVBBILVBB1,000+ posts
PG

I asked him about the 6 hours. It is made up of everything from dressing, field prep, plyometrics, practice, running, weights, to shower at the end.

He said because of the bad weather, field prep, including tarp on/off is taking up a bunch of time.

My starting point was to tell him to talk to the coach, he wants him to succeed, if he is stressed maybe he can help.
rz1rz15,000+ posts
Don't feel alone. This is why few Freshmen get a lot of pt. Tell your son to put away his pride and go talk to the coach. The situation is not unusual and a good coach will embrace his honesty. Athletic departments have support staff for just this reason. This is culture shock for an athlete who has been at the top of the food chain in his local bubble for as long as he can remember. Deal with it now rather than later as it could be as minor as time management.
Last edited by rz1
TPMTPMHSBaseballweb Member since 2003
Hmmm, sounds familiar and mine is into it 3 years!

Spoke to him the other night, he sounded exhausted, up early for bullpen, class, practice and then to tutor for help in statistics and finance! This is a difficult time of the year, teams getting ready for gametime, coaches stretching the practice hours to the max. Mine knows how to adjust and something that is learned over time. rz is right this is why freshman don't see much playing time.

I agree have your son go talk to the coach.
Last edited by TPM
thegame2003thegame2003100+ posts
I actually made the exact same call to my parents today, and I'm a senior! lol. I was just totally stressed out from baseball (7 days a week of practice since the semester started), having an internship on campus that I'm finishing up, and school, which I have fallen behind on due to the amount of hours I have been putting in with baseball and the internship. However, I just found out today that we have a 3 day weekend off from baseball, and it honestly feels like the world has been lifted off my shoulders! Time to show those professors I'm more than just an athlete!
L lafmom5,000+ posts
My freshman son was miserable last year. The issue was compounded for him last year because he made an incorrect choice in fit of schools and ended up transitioning from a position player to a pitcher.

All of them have something unique about their situation, but in the end exhaustion is suddenly part of their life.

Mine called me and said flat out he didn't know if he wanted to continue playing ball. It wasn't fun anymore. He was worn out in many ways. I simply told him it was his life and I was there to support him in whatever he chose to do. He was much more than a baseball player to me. For my son, the routine exhaustion that a ballplayer felt was compounded by some other issues. All of them face time management issues and all feel the exhaustion of the demands but they can have unique situations that they face as well.

Bottomline, he changed schools and he's still exhausted but he has his passion back. He loves his coach who motivates him beyond belief.

I think the exhaustion for a college athlete hits them and us up side the head when they're freshman. No one is really prepared for it. By reassuring them that you're there and understand.... that this too shall pass, they do make it through. Everyone of his teammates is probably feeling the same emotion. Their parents are at home loosing sleep too. Smile
FungoFungoHighly Regarded and Beloved Old Timer
quote:
He has class from 9am to 2pm, with breaks between classes which he uses to study. Then baseball from 2:30 to 7:30 each evening.

Lets see --- that's a whopping 10 1/2 hours a day!!!

Not much pity from me. Take the usual workplace job of eight hours --- let's say 8 to 5 with an hour off for lunch. Tack on 1 hour of commute in the AM and one hour in the PM and you're talking about dedicating 11 hours of your life each day to a job. Now if you're a parent of a baseball player then you have to allot some time for baseball too. --- That's just the average day of the parent with one child ---
Fungo
Last edited by Fungo
T theEH1,000+ posts
Lafmom, and tg2003.
Thanks for giving us the 2 sides of this situation.
You have a full load tg2003, I applaud your effort. Keep up the good work.
Lafmom, that's really all we can do at this point is to let them know how much you care.
And to reassure them all will work out in the end.
Young men when faced with adversity want to prove they can handle a tough situation.
They do not want to let you down.
It can be overwelming at times.
That's when as parents
You want to jump right
In there and help.
But that's when you have to allow them to become Men?
EH
T theEH1,000+ posts
Fungo that's me,
11 to 12 hour workday.
Are should I say worknight.
I haven't had a day off since heck I don't remember, last year sometime?
I'm not complaining.
Life is good?
Its what I choose to do,
Its what my responsibility.
Just like a student athletes responsibility
Is to work hard on acadimics, as well as on the field.
Anyway your up early?
Are you going fishing?
I'm jealous.LoL
B Bee>1,000+ posts
quote:
by ILVBB: Three weeks into the spring, he is exhausted and is stressed out from baseball and school.
sometimes it's necessary to read between the lines (per Mrs Bee & she's really good at it)

a) he misses you

b) send money, he need new jeans & tee's

c) the weather sucks

d) college ball is ALOT different from HS ball

e) send more money

f) forget about the Dean's list this term


that said, late practices can cause a timing problem for meals if he's relying on "campus food" ...

solution - - "call out" for him occasionally .. get the yellow pages from his area & have pizza, wings, chinese etc. delivered to his dorm (pre-paid by you of course & order enough so he has leftovers the for next day)

regarding laundry - - he sounds very advanced in this area as he has grasped the concept that laundry should be DONE - CONGRATS, that's most often a soph/jr yr concept Smile
Last edited by Bee>
L lafmom5,000+ posts
Bee - That is excellent advice! I don't think we need to be "woe is me" with our sons, but I do think we need to provide an understanding shoulder and support. For many of these boys, they never held a job in HS... now they're faced with time management issues and a schedule that they thought they understood... but reality is a bit different. Also, some are doing work study or have another commitment outside baseball/academics. It is a shock for most ball players.... don't need to coddle, but do need to understand.
P pfbear13100+ posts
It's all about priorities and how much he wants to play and be part of the team. His schedule is very typical of many college athletes. My son's schedule is very similar except he has to tack on 6 AM lifts 3 days/week and weekend workouts as well. Plus going early to practice for extra BP and staying after for extra sprint workouts.

Like the others said, when they get to the real world it's not like they are going to have any extra time. My wife is an accountant and she works 12 hour days at the office and then 2-3 hours at home.

I guess the best advice for your son, while harsh, would be to get used to it. He's not in HS anymore and mom and dad aren't there to look out for him everyday. As far as his performance goes, he has moved up to the next level. Everyone on his team was the star of their HS team. It's supposed to be harder and you need to work harder to step up your game. If he gets placed in a summer league, he'll find everyone there is the best on their college teams. You also need to let him know you love him and will support any decision he makes, but he needs to really think it through before he decides anything.

This is also the reason so many D-3's don't retain players. Too much commitment and no $$ for tution.
Last edited by pfbear13
shortstopmomshortstopmom1,000+ posts
Having not been in this boat yet,..I am taking notes like a mad woman!!

Sounds like a care package might be inorder,..with a positive note of support since the parents cant be there to give an actual physical pat on the back.
Telling the boys that this is indeed normal may also ease some tension.

I feel for these young gentlemen! Such a busy busy time.

Comfort, support, understanding, and guidance should help. I have confidence that the wrinkles will iron themselves out over time and things will smooth out to a steady rhythm.

I like the quote below from Thegame2003:
quote:
Time to show those professors I'm more than just an athlete!


Atta boy kid!!! You've got the right idea!!!
Last edited by shortstopmom
F FormerObserver1,000+ posts
quote:
Mine called me and said flat out he didn't know if he wanted to continue playing ball. It wasn't fun anymore.


I've heard those words, too.

And, started to respond when ILVBB first posted.

I enjoyed reading all the comments, especially Bee's.

Not to be critical of you ILVBB, but do I recall correctly that your son is taking 15-17 hours?

And, for others that are reading, this is why 12 hours is a good load for a freshman in the spring.

Baseball is for real in college. It ain't extracurriclular any more.

For our sons, baseball is important, and it needs to be OK to back off academics, from a volume point of view, to be able to focus on baseball.

And, sometimes we wonder when to push a little to encourage our sons with baseball.

Now is the time to encourage and push a little.

The first two-three weeks are tough.

Welcome to college baseball.
Last edited by FormerObserver
RedheadRedhead100+ posts
He needs to keep a stockpile of food that he can eat when he gets in late. Good soups, peanut butter, string cheese, etc. At least he won't have to wait on the pizza man. Poor nutrition leads to poor concentration - which leads to poor grades. Send him a bottle of good multivitamins. Send a letter or card regularly. It helps more than a call sometimes. Often you can write things that you might have trouble verbalizing. Plus, he can pick it up and read it over and over. Above all else - pray daily for your son - especially when he is separated from home and family. Let them know you are praying for him. It is a great feeling to know you are being prayed for and it also brings comfort to the one offering the prayer.
L lafmom5,000+ posts
quote:
It is a great feeling to know you are being prayed for and it also brings comfort to the one offering the prayer

Redhead, That's an excellent point. I am a person that likes sending little thoughts/packages to people I care about to begin with, but for our kids that go away to college regardless of athletics involved, it's great for them to have a feeling they haven't been forgotten and that a part of their life continues the same.... mom/dad still love me and they care about me.

I sent my son a coin last spring with a verse on it and told him to keep it in his pocket as a reminder that God was always with him, as was my support, as he makes his way into adulthood.

I also asked him if he made prayer a part of his life anymore. He responded "no" and that "I guess I felt you were doing enough for us both". Prayer is comforting and if it's been a part of a young man's life, remind him to continue during this period of adjustment and challenge.

FO - That's sooooo very true also!! My son did take 15 hrs the fall semester of JUCO, but that was a different academic scene than where he is now. Tried to stay at 16 hrs this past fall, but had to drop one. Carrying the load that some of his non athlete friends would carry is very difficult for some.... especially if they haven't been a great student in the classroom to begin with (my son!).
K KCBaseball100+ posts
I am so glad to see this thread!
Two days ago my FR son was miserable, not happy with his performance. Yesterday he pitched great and is feeling much better. It helps me so much to read that our sons are often experiencing the same things!

One thing that is helping my son is little cat naps. He has a break 2 days each week around lunch time and grabs 30 minutes shut-eye before heading over to the stadium. Cooks Ramen those days, skipping the cafeteria to get the rest. Whatever works to recharge his batteries!

It seems like the beginning of each semester is the hardest, then they settle in to things. Fall was new and overwhelming. Now they're competing for a spot right before the season begins. Our support and an ear to listen seems to give them the comfort they need.
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