How do you tell him...

I'm so sorry about your husband's diagnosis. My heart goes out to your family.

I would definitely call the coach and tell him what's going on before you notify your son. He may have some good suggestions regarding the timing and how to go about telling him. Also, he and the rest of the coaching staff can be prepared to help your son deal with the situation after your son is informed.

Knowing how caring our HSBBW community is, I'm sure there will be many people lifting your family up in prayer. May God give you His strength and peace which truly passes understanding.

bballmom, your family will be in my prayers. There are no words to make this time easier, but know you have additional strength coming your way.

Infield is spot on. My son's college team had several players with intense
family circumstances. The coaches were very involved, including explaining the situation to the team to rally their support and understanding.

You have doubtlessly already considered this, but be both truthful and positive with your son. Our boys can get very frustrated and distracted when they're not in a position to directly help. He needs to be assured that everything possible is being handled, and what you require from him is love, support (i.e. regular phone calls ), and the assurance that he will still be concentrating on his studies and the team (the things HE can control).

Dear BBallmom4life,

First of all, I am sorry that this sad new is the topic of your first post on the HSBBW. Please know that you are welcome here and will find much support and wonderful advice.

I hope that your son's coaching staff will be able to help you with this. It is a wonderful statement about you that you are not only worried about your husband and your son, but also about how it will affect the team. I would bet that you will find that the coaches and the team rally around your son and your family, as well.

Does your son have an advisor, professor, or a particularly good friend on the team or at the school? After you talk with your son, you might encourage him to talk with with someone who he is close to, to let them know what is going on. They see him on a daily basis. They might be able to recognize more quickly when he might need some extra support.

This sounds like a very stressful situation for all of you. It is great that you recognize that this will impact him and want to approach it in the best way possible. I wouldn't be surprised, however, if he shows a great deal of strength through this. It is so normal to be concerned about your son, but you may be heartened see a lot to be proud of, as well.

I doubt that you will ever find the perfect way to tell your son. You will do your best, and that is all that matters. You may be amazed at how you find the grace to make it through each day, each challenge.

My thoughts and prayers are with you, your family, and all those who will be impacted by your husband's diagnosis. Again, know that you will find much support here.

bballmom-
My prayers go out to your family. I will be sure to add your family to our churches prayer chain. Alot of Universities have a psychologist on staff that work with the athletic programs. Check and see if this might be an avenue for your son. Sometimes it is good for them to beable to talk to someone that they do not have to see on a daily basis(coaches/teamates). Here he can let his guard down and not have to be so tough. God Bless!

I am so sorry to learn about your husband. I am tucking your family, especially your husband, into my prayers.

Should you tell the coach first, I would keep the time between telling the coach and telling your son extremely short. There is always a chance that the word will slip out, and your son may be upset if he finds out he was not told first.

You may want to tell your son first, then immediately thereafter inform the coach. Or let your son inform the coach if he chooses.

Good time to ask the Good Lord for His guidance.

May the Good Lord bring healing for your husband, and may He send His comfort to the family.

BBALLMOM ..you have a PM

bballmom,

You and your family are in my prayers also. There is no easy way, or good time, to tell your son such difficult news, but you have received good advice from the posters above.

bballmom...I will also be praying for you, your husband and family. infield08 gave you some good advice. Follow it and I feel things will be alright for your son. There are counselors on campus who could also be of help.

In my daily devotions, I will remember you, your husband and your son in my prayers...

bbmom4life ...

So sorry to read of your husband's diagnosis and upcoming surgery. I think, as others have indicated, that it might be wise to arrange to tell your son first because I do believe he would feel saddened to know that another was told first.

Will going up to see him be a surprise or are you and your husband able to travel periodically such that your son would not start wondering what was wrong as soon as he heard you were coming?

As other dear friends have stated, I too will keep you and your husband and son in my prayers as you deal with the immediate situation of telling your son, and with the upcoming surgery and treatments. May God bless the doctors with wisdom and your family with some peace in your hearts.

bballmom,

Sorry to hear your husband's medical situation. You and your family are in my prayers also.

There is no easy way, but having been there, it was not easy to tell the kids, I would let your son know before too long.

Best of luck!

hopefully they caught it early and the prognosis is good.

I am really sorry to hear this about your husband. Our prayers will be with your family. My son is only in HS but last year his dad had prostrate cancer.We found out the day before we were leaving for the Arizona Junior fall classic. It was a very aggressive cancer. we took our trip and decided to tell him after.
I think what you said about not saying too much until you know the situation is a good idea. You do have to tell him but him being away from home I would not give him this news without someone (coach, mentor) etc that will know what he is going through. Cancer is a scary thing and and brings a lot of emotion to the forfront.
We didnt tell our son that it was an aggressive cancer, we told him that his dad needed surgery and that it looked like everything was going to be ok.We didnt want him to worry too much until we really knew the outcome of the surgery.
Again I will be praying for all of you, its a tought thing to get through. best of wishes

bballmom4life,

Sorry to hear of your husband's cancer. He and your family will be in my prayers.

My son has a teammate who's mom came up to see him and tell him she has breast cancer. Unsure if she told the coach first, but the son did not want to talk about it with her, or anyone. Not sure how, but it got out to the team, different boys including my own started talking to him and telling him their mom's stories. 10yr survivor - me, a couple of other 3 and 4 yr survivors, and survivors of other cancers.

She told me this weekend it made a huge difference for him to know others who had the same feelings, fears and worries. She is fighting her battle, and now can talk to her son about it.

I believe he has talked to the campus Pastor for comfort as well.

Prayers for him and you from Kansas.

I'd tell your son first; then the coach... but certainly you have to weigh that in your heart. Best wishes to you in this tough time