How much sharing should there be?

Very similar. Older parents didn't share much unless we asked specifically. Now that we're a Sr. don't share much unless we're asked. Have been fortunate to get lots of attention recently so don't want to come off too strong.

On my sons team the parents and the players have been asked by the coaches not to discuss with the other parents and players what is happening regarding recruiting. I think probably because some players at this moment might be getting more interest and the coaches don't want to cause any friction at this time. Also from what I have seen so far it is the parents that have a harder time dealing with these issues than the players themselves do. What has been the atmosphere on your son's teams?

I find all of your posts rather sad.
By the time our season began 3 players had been signed all to top d1 schools (4th later on to a smaller D1). All of the parents wanted to know the details, especially the soph and junior players parents. It didn't matter whether their sons would go on to play baseball in college our not, they wanted details. They were so happy to see that their sons team mates had done well. And as far as the players, they were just so happy their friends would go on to play beyond HS.
Funny, it was then I realized parents didn't know much about the recruiting process and needed help.
The most exciting for them was when season began. Big games against top prospect pitchers brought big, big crowds and the parents loved the extra $$ from concession. We always joked that scouts came to our games only because they loved our concessions.We didn't have the best team but the best hot dogs, hamburgers and nachos!

I think alot depends on the realtionship the parents have. We were pretty close, most of our kids had been playing together for years and some went to school since kindergarten.

I would bet that parents do wish to talk about it, but just don't know how to go about it without sounding like they are bragging or comparing.

TPM:

quote:

I would bet that parents do wish to talk about it, but just don't know how to go about it without sounding like they are bragging or comparing.

You're right TPM...I'm with you on this one all the way. I would want to talk and share, but in such a way as to be pleasant and respectful.

Deborah's example is sad...the coach probably had a bad experience with a parent or two in the past and he is now being overprotective...I don't think it is fair to impose or request that of deserving and respectful parents...my goodness this type of good news may only roll around once!

From my own personal experience I am very happy to talk to any parents about the recruiting process. My son is 2007 kid who is getting attention nationally. I answer any questions that I can about the process and offer advice to anyone who asks. I never discuss specifics about my son for a number of different reasons. But in truth I cannot remember too many people asking what schools are interested in him. I am not sure why that it is, perhaps they feel that is personal. People have asked me what schools he is interested in and I simply say I am not sure you have to ask him. When people start inquiring about my son I find it is really easy to change the conversation by asking about how their son is doing, most parents will go on and on forever about their kids.

I spend a lot of time answering questions about where kids should go in summer and what is and is not important on the national level. Parents of younger players can be overwhelmed by all of the showcases and tournaments. It is gratifying to be of help and I feel that most parents that have been through this are glad to share that information all you have to do is ask.

That's one of the greatest things about this website

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I'm all with TPM, and the Wood man, on this one...

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I find all of your posts rather sad.

I see no reason that older parents cannot help, encourage, and guide younger parents. We found great help from the people who went before us. We found great and lasting friendships and sharing of information and shared emotions with those who we considered our peers. I have vowed to do everything I can to help those behind us avoid the pitfalls we faced. I believe like TPM, I continue to offer my experience as a resouce to others who are lost and choose to listen.

Yes, there are/were parents who were difficult, and those who openly bragged, and it is impossible not to compare, but in the end I hope we were bigger than our petty differences and jelousy. Anything that helped me find the information that I needed to make the process work for my son and others was worth every minute and every difficult parent.

The good, the bad, the ugly we valued every parental relationship, learned from each and had a ball...We have stayed in touch with many of the parents from a wide geographical area and continue to swap college stories and advice and resources. I can't even imagine going through this without a group of peers...




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Guess I am on the fence on this one. As a parent of the first of the team to commit this year, I will be sensitive not to flaunt it--and will avoid even bringing it up in conversation with other parents, but if they ask how we reached the decision and about the process, I will be happy to chat.

Newcomer this is a good topic. Obviously the majority of the posters here will agree we should share that information. After all that is the premise this website was founded on and continues to grow on. During the time my son was being actively recruited I was pretty closed lipped about “his” recruitment for a couple of reasons. Number one you don’t know who is genuinely happy for your son and who is jealous. Secondly if you publicly explain your desires, and where you stand, that information will inevitably get back to those doing the recruiting and can alter the process. For instance I revealed my son had received a verbal offer from one college and other colleges stopped recruiting him. Thirdly, some recruiting coaches asked that we refrain from discussing the offer and the negotiations. I find the recruiting phase an exciting time and still enjoy talking about it. I plan to attend a recruiting seminar tomorrow at Gameday foundation in Memphis simply because I find the process interesting. My son has successfully completed the recruiting phase of college baseball, has signed his NLI, played three years of college baseball and is currently playing professional baseball but I still feel as if I have to be careful how and with whom I discuss “his” recruiting.
Fungo

Sharing the recruiting process we expereinced is easy because people ask the same questions. Most want to know how to get colleges aware that their son is out there. They want to the mechanics of how it works. In baseball, explaining that there are 11.7 scholarships and very few full rides usually shocks them, and it's more shocking when you explain that many D-1 schools don't even fund the full 11.7 and instead could have 9 or 7 for the program. We are thrilled with my son's situation for next year, but my finances with the university, I feel, are private. So by not talking about my son's scholarship specifically, and just talking about the process, allows me to comfortably share information valuable to other parents. If they ask, I will tell what I know from what I've learned. We also can bring them here to HSBBW where they can gain great insight, certainly better than just talking to me.

When asked, we talked about the recruiting process and schools, but scholarship offers were never discussed. We have several players commit at multiple levels.

It's a good method to encourage the younger players and their parents. The senior players/parents on the fence that had not received offers when the season started were interested in the process and had a lot of questions. All of the parents of players who had committed were happy to help out and answer questions, but I don't think any of us ever broached the topic. We let people ask us.

I firmly believe many parents will not talk about it unless they are asked---most feel it might be taken as "braggin" and "oneupmanship" if they bring it up initially on their own

As a side bar to this theme it is interesting that just yesterday a major Division I Coach talked to me about putting together a team of Coaches, Division I, II, III JUCO NAIA and a Compliance Officer and do a series of seminars for parents and players beginning next winter prior to the baseball season--It is his feeling, and mine also, that all too many parents and players have a limited understanding of what really happens during the process.

For years now we have opened our showcases with a "recruiting seminar" complete with coaches and Q&A sessions because of need for parents and players top be informed.

It can be a very touchy situation in the stands at a HS game if you talk about it to parents of a player who is not being talked to by colleges

My son's team has been fortunate enough to have three players sign with D-I schools this year. Especially since there several younger players on the team who have the ability to play in college, the Booster Club has decided to put on a recruiting seminar for the parents of younger players in the program. Between high school and summer teams, the head varsity coach has coached dozens of players who have gone on to play in college and/or signed pro contracts. In addition, he has managed to line up a former college coach to come speak to the group. Finally, the parents of the three players who signed will do a panel discussion to share their experiences during the recruiting process -- what worked, what didn't, how to handle the bumps in the road, etc. We think that between the various presenters, there will be a wealth of information to share that should be very helpful to the guys coming along. We've decided to limit it to parents, because we think the parent panelists may be willing to speak a bit more frankly about the process if their sons are not there. We will have copies of "Prospect" available for them (we scheduled this before "Showcase" came out, but will be recommending it to them as well).

Oak,

It sounds like your son's school is very progressive. By doing it ina seminar format, it might reduce the jealousy factor and allow those truly interested in the process to gain knowledge.

Pretty inspired, if you ask me...

T-Bird Dad:

quote:

By doing it ina seminar format, it might reduce the jealousy factor and allow those truly interested in the process to gain knowledge.

__________________

Right, plus an important point is that the parents on the panel are low key people who view this an an opportunity to help other families in the program, rather than run their mouths about their sons' accomplishments.

There is a group of parents in my son's class that have been friends for years and we talk a lot about what each is doing or planning to do. We plan on attending several events this coming year together. Some of the kids have D1 potential and some less. Several of us have very limited funds and are trying to determine where we can get the most bang for the limited funds we have. For example, one kid's family can't afford even the $500 for a showcase, and will have to just go with $150 to $200 events at local colleges couple of times a year.

You always have the parents who are spending $4000 to $6000 a year to get their sons seen and swear that our kids don't stand a chance. You've got to go to showcase "A, B & C" and play on travel team "D", both are out of our price ranges, or you will not be seen : quote from last night "No scout is coming to our school to see you without that exposure"

Oak and T-Bird Dad:

Bingo! Nice solution.

There are a few parents who we are close to with whom we discuss recruiting in general. We haven't told them about letters of interest from coaches. They know that our son has gone to a few showcases. Other than that, I don't think anybody knows the extent to which he is working on recruiting. There is only one other player who seems to have lots of potential. His father has said nothing to anybody about what his son is planning.

Good point. Nobody wants to feel that they are boasting or bragging about their son. Unfortunately, we've only grown close to a few parents. This is a big city high school where most players came from out of town just to attend the school for the baseball program. So the kids didn't really get to know each other until high school. I think once the kids start getting college plans more formalized, we'll have more discussions among the parents about the process.

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Certainly not advocating, running around bragging, or detailing complete novel legnth details about YOUR particular recruiting including offrers, Money,....that is simply stupid...

but there is a happy medium, where you are sharing the generalities of the process with those parents who are genuinely interested, helping them see the options, discussing college programs, letting them know the mistakes you made, letting them know what seemed to you to be the best use of funds, who to trust who not to trust, who the power players are, where to find info...

A seminar while valubale, will not divulge to you who over-recruits, or the personality of the coaches...

We had a distatsteful experience with a certain high end DI, The same school is now at work on a local player, the parents have stars in their eyes, I see them going through the exact same sad experience we did...

Again, am all for seminars but IMO this stuff is not one stop shopping, it is all very personalized, So while the general approach may give you some ideas, IMO the one-on-one approach is much more customized to the needs of individual players and families...

44

My son’s high school team had 4 seniors last year commit to D-1 schools, 1 that committed to the D-2 National Champion. This year 2 signed in November at 2 different D-1 schools, of which my son was one. The whole process last year was not talked about by parents, coaches, or players. Most of what we learned came from our own experience and what we learned here.

Since, my sons signing I have been much more active in trying to educated people who have an interested. I don’t seek them out; I just let it be known that I am there to help if anyone wants it. Many times I refer them to HSbaseballweb.com. That is how I learned and the only regret is that I didn’t find the site soon enough. Even with a late start we were very pleased with all the opportunity and schools that showed interest. I can only imagine what could have been accomplished if we had known sooner. Talent can get you recruited; exposure and talent will give you so many more options!

What a nice post...we had many similar circumstances in our recruiting process.

We, like your family, would have been better off knowing about this site sooner.

Like you, I also spread the HSBBW word, people are glad to know that it exists!

While not in a position to share at this point - given my son is a sophomore - I do want to chime in and say how much those of us who are following appreciate those of you who are sharing.

In particular - a big thanks to Observer44 allowing me to check my sanity on a regular basis...

quote:

Originally posted by obrady:
There is a group of parents in my son's class that have been friends for years and we talk a lot about what each is doing or planning to do. We plan on attending several events this coming year together. Some of the kids have D1 potential and some less. Several of us have very limited funds and are trying to determine where we can get the most bang for the limited funds we have. For example, one kid's family can't afford even the $500 for a showcase, and will have to just go with $150 to $200 events at local colleges couple of times a year.

You always have the parents who are spending $4000 to $6000 a year to get their sons seen and swear that our kids don't stand a chance. You've got to go to showcase "A, B & C" and play on travel team "D", both are out of our price ranges, or you will not be seen : quote from last night "No scout is coming to our school to see you without that exposure"

O'brady in your area it may be different but in our area the "quote from last night "No scout is coming to our school to see you without that exposure" is FALSE!

It should read quote from last night "No scout is coming to our school period!!!!!

I do think showcases in some form are necessary, I don't think you need to spend 5 to 6K a year, but the only time there were any scouts at any games was over a Spring Break tournament be some local schools

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08...

Thanks.

44
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We did not have a lot of sharing of info either. I have shared info with other parents when asked and also encouraged them to visit this website. I have been willing to give people info and have volunteered some general info.

One thing that does surprise me is how many people ask about financial particulars and amount of scholarship! I just say that it is a generous scholarship considering that there are only 11.7 for the entire team.