How often do girls get in the way?

Pretty dumb. Baseball has a way of weeding out the weak, and this is one example.

I got that beat, A teammate in summer ball signed with Davidson College. Goes to college and leaves college after a week, says he missed his girlfriend.


When he gets home
She told him " I actually did not know you left and I found another guy anyways."

Boys, this problem has been around for a loooong time. Nothing new here. Lots of 18 year old young men make bad decisions and we all know why.

Now that I am in my 40's I am starting to make some really good decisions. That's really all I am going to say about it.

Unfortunately, no amount of adult insight or perspective is going to convince an 18 year old to make the prudent decision. One has to hope that you've built a good person starting way before these heady decisions get made.

quote:

Originally posted by Bum:
Pretty dumb. Baseball has a way of weeding out the weak, and this is one example.

Girls, grades, drugs and booze all contribute to attrition in baseball. Arm injuries don't help either. Why do you think they draft 1,500 players a year.

Sometimes, these decisions aren't "heady" at all...at least, they're not made with the BIG head.

Considering there are two sides to every story and a person’s life is full of choices we have to be more open-minded about this. First off I am amazed that the majority of parents “back off” when the time comes to select one baseball/academic college over another but then cringe that a player would chose a college closer to his girlfriend instead of accepting a college that offered him a baseball scholarship. The choice is still up to the young man unless his decision impacts his family financially and the family would end up having to pay because of the loss of scholarship. I hear many parents say --- “My son is a mature young man and we’re leaving the college choice up to him”. Hmmmm --- Do we “allow” them to only make choices that “we” consider the best?
I also think there is a solution to this fairly common problem. I’m pro girlfriend because #1, I think girls and relationships are normal and #2, I always considered the relationship to have a stabilizing effect on the college age young man. I think relationship has a tendency to keep them away from the college haunts where boy meets girl (and lots of other things too). My son had a “long distance” relationship with the girl back home for the first two years while he was in college. We did what we could to help the “long distance” relationship by bringing his girlfriend to the weekend series and not infringing on their time while she was there. She later attended a college a couple of hours away in another direction and then we had to be understanding when he would “by-pass” our home on a long weekend to visit her at her college.
Times continue to change (that's normal too). Present girlfriend is senior where he attended collge and now he considers his old college town to be his “home”. Maybe it just boils down to adjustment time for everyone involved ---
Fungo

quote:

Maybe it just boils down to adjustment time for everyone involved ---

Yep... no doubt about it!! College is an adjustment for mom/dad as much as it is for the young adult.

quote:

Originally posted by Newcomer:
Unfortunately, no amount of adult insight or perspective is going to convince an 18 year old to make the prudent decision. One has to hope that you've built a good person starting way before these heady decisions get made.

I didn't know that a young man having a girlfriend at age 18 was because he was a bad person, from bad parents???

I agree with Fungo. Its part of life, its part of being human, hormones and all!!

The fact that I had a girl friend going into to college (let alone playing football for the university) was a dumb decision. For all you youngsters out there, make the decision that benefits YOU academically and, if applicable, athletically. You may think you're going to spend the rest of your life with someone, but at 18, that's waaaayyyy too early for that decision.

quote:

The choice is still up to the young man unless his decision impacts his family financially and the family would end up having to pay because of the loss of scholarship.

I'm just guessing, but I think this is probably the case for 80-90% of college bound families. The players preference must be on top of the priority list but he must be mature enough and unselfish enough to recognize the impact his decision has on the entire family. This may be the first major decision a young man must make that significantly impacts the loved ones around him. Parents must guide to the best of their abilities and make sure he learns that every major decision in the future is not just about what he wants.

Will have to go with OS and Fungo on this one. They are 18 not 8. If Mom and Pop have to weigh in heavy on this, when probably not even asked what their opinion is, well then - are Mom and Pop wanting to have their kids clinge to them at 25? 30? 35? Many parents wonder why their kids are not making decisions when (for ***'s sake) they are older and when M&P were that old, they had married and had 2-3 kids already, buying cars with their own money (or getting a loan from a bank, definitely not M&P), and maybe even gotten a home. Are all my sons perfect - NO. Were bad choices made - YES . Are they getting their feet - YES. Ages - 24 to 17. Where are they at now? Ministry, College, Marine Corps, and senior in HS. Thank you Jesus!
We had a pitcher in HS the other year that threw hard consistently. Now? Went to another state, working carpentry (or something like that), girlfriend going to college there. Had FULL scholarship offers according to dad. Had one school offer a full ride for him and his girlfriend (she had good grades). Girlfriend wanted to go to another school. Dad pulling hair out, but he also let son make his own decision. I bet he'll turn out OK in the end. Maybe he didn't want to handle college school work, maybe he likes a trade working with his hands, not everybody fits into our molds.
I heard a story once where the dad told his son to go to college when son was reluctant. Son went 1 year and told dad he wasn't going back. Back and forth it went then and dad finally relented. Son went to plumbing. Son learned fast and enjoyed it. Son went out on his own. Dad worked on corralling him into going back to college. Son said, but dad I really enjoy what I'm doing. Dad pointed out that he needed to make a good living, etc. and that college grads make more, etc. Son said, Dad come here. Son showed him his accounting books. Dad's jaw dropped. Dad said, Son if you like plumbing so much, well you just keep on doing that.
Oh, and I married my HS sweetheart and we had our 25th last year and I love her more each year.
'Nuff said.

Tim Robertson

Nice post, fungo.

Girls are indeed a part of life.

"Women weaken legs" - Mickey (Rocky 1976)

Redhead......

If she weakens your legs, then she is the one!!! Be happy that someone makes your legs weak!!!!!

quote:

The fact that I had a girl friend going into to college (let alone playing football for the university) was a dumb decision

I don't believe that for everyone. If the girl is the right "fit" for you, you will certainly be fine. She just has to be understanding of your commitments, time constraints and limitations. If all things go well, and trust (which is the most important and commonly over-emphasized issue at this age, at least from my perspective) is there, then the relationship should be fine. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, people make sacrifices for each other and hopefully it all works out. It's never easy, but in many cases it's certainly worth the effort IMO.

I frequently say that one of most painful things is to watch the adolescent male mature before your eyes. At 47, I'm still able to remember what it was like to be 17, and lets face it, while many things have changed, certain things will remain constant forever. Watching young people do things(many of which we all did decades prior) that we all know may be foolish is tough to watch.
Today I interact with and assist many dozens of young men every year. Certainly girlfriends are an issue, or problem depending on your perspective.No more so, however, than work and spending money, beer, video games, cars et al.
This is a message board that is frequented by parents (primarily) that are very involved and proactive in the process of advancement as it relates to baseball.
Rarely, however, does the subject of the young athlete's ownership in the process get discussed. Its always assumed that everyone's kid REALLY wants to advance to a higher level. Trust me on this one...it's often not the case and many times mom and dad may be one of the last to know.
This is one of the reasons I rarely talk about sophomore and freshman players. You really never know how hot the furnace burns. Its quite common for other interests to untimately take precedent.
This is certainly not a sign of weakness. Please remember that your child should not be defined by his participation in a game.

This is a real tough one. It's easy for us to look at it and say it's dumb, but remember how you felt at that age when you were young and thought you were in love.

I'm very lucky with this one as my son and his girlfriend are actually pretty mature about this. He got a call last spring on a Sunday to go play in Red Deer, Alberta and he was on a plane Tuesday. His GF supports him in "chasing the dream" and she's a real go-getter, so she works all summer herself.

I have found that the players who are "truly serious" about the game don't run into this problem

How often do girls get in the way???

Hmmm,.....

a " good " girl doesn't get in the way,...she supports and inspires!!!

Right TR. According to the original post, this is the one, best offer this young man will have. I could give a hoot about whether he has a girl or not.. but he's not willing to be less than 1 hour away from her? I'd say in that case he's either not using his best judgment or his girl is more important than baseball.

But yes, it is the young man's decision. He's an adult.

Everyone knows that the emotions are far more intense at that age. That's where the parents come in, not to preach or dictate but to help him sort out the facts so he's thinking with his brain on this deal.

Let's see -- should I leave my wife and move closer to the Tennessee River so I can pursue my favorite sport (fishing)? Hey, it's only an hour away. I have an offer to use a friend's cabin as it were my own. I have no other offers. Would I be considered weak if I were to stay at home?
Fungo

I never considered girls to be getting in the way of anything.

In fact - I loved having as many girlfriends as possible when I was a young pup.

If you both dont share common interests - and are unwilling to sacrifice for each other - its time to get a new partner.

Life is short - use your brain first.

LOL

And dont be like this guy.

He threw away a golden opportunity in the late 1990's at the Westminster Kennel Club - all because of a young female Beagle - and he has regretted it ever since.



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I allowed a girl to get in the way back in about 1965.

Now in 2007, that same girl still gets in my way every single day!

Fungo, a wife and an 18 year-old girlfriend are two different things. For one thing, the wife is way more expensive so you couldn't afford that other hobby. And even if it was a very serious relationship a one hour drive here out West is a Starbucks commute!

By the way, what happened to the good 'ol days when the girl followed the guy? Just kidding, of course, but seriously a solid relationship should accomodate each others' dreams.

PG:
Slight wording problem ...

I think you meant to say "show you the way," rather than "get in the way."

For me, it is 20 years. My wife has shown me the way many a time. Just recently we decided there wasn't enough conflict in our marriage so we remodeled our kitchen with two high schoolers crawling the house. Still very little conflict.

What to do? Advice needed! If a kitchen remodel cant make us fight, I guess we are terminally married.

Fungo-

Weak? No. A fool? Yes. Does that cabin have 2 beds, I love to fish too!!!

;-)

Last fall when my son was being recruited, you'd be amazed how many coaches asked if he had a girlfriend. This was not just small talk. He was being asked to join teams far from home and these coaches were covering all the bases. Many had seen players leave their teams to return to their girl.

HS players should be prepared for this question...it really took my son by surprise the first few times he was asked. Seemed a bit personal. He would respond that, yes, he had a girlfriend but his first love was baseball!

quote:

you'd be amazed how many coaches asked if he had a girlfriend.

It was a common question for my son too. Good advice to be prepared for the question... even though it is a very personal one.

I've been asked that question several times also. I give two different responses to it:

1) Yes (or no), but it doesn't (wouldn't) matter in terms of baseball. She knows (or would know), I've explained it.

2) Yes, I have three. Their names are Pick Off, Double Play and Strike Three.

One very successful coach once told me that it is "UNDEFEATED & UNTIED" so you had better learn to work with it because you are not going to beat it.

JH,

quote:

Yes, I have three. Their names are Pick Off, Double Play and Strike Three.

THAT's FUNNY!!!!!!

I am suprised how many people missed the point the guy is 17-18 yrs and the girl likley 14-15 yrs (freshman). Kinda illegal in most states, except Alabama, JK.

Ask yourself how many freshman HS girls marry the guy they are dating. Not many.

The guy should pick a college where he can play at. If you making any decisions about his life because of a 14-15 yr old girl, he has MAJOR ISSUES

Guilty here of missing the point.

Where was that mentioned?

Guess I thought the girl was a college freshman.

PG


I think I missed it as well but then it is Andy making the statement and we all know where his mind is

quote:

Originally posted by J H:
Yes, I have three. Their names are Pick Off, Double Play and Strike Three.

Great reply!

Reminds me of when the wife accused me of having a mistress. My response was: yes, she wears white leather with red stitching.

My mom always says that she used to be a golf widow when my dad was younger because he played so much. Now that he's getting older and a little busier, he's not at the course so much. He's at the field watching either me play baseball or my younger sister play softball. My mom says she doesn't know which is worse. She claims that when he had a bad round of golf he would come home and be upset with himself until the next day, when he would get back out and shoot well again. But now, if my team loses a game, he is clearly upset about it until our next win, which could be the next week depending on our schedule (or how good the team is). I tell him to lighten up, I'm the one playing and I'm usually feeling much better once I stuff my face that night at the dinner table. Whatever it may be, my mom doesn't complain about it too much so I think she's pretty happy with the love for the game

After following this thread to its hopeful inane conclusion - late though it may be - I feel much more comfortable about the dog pic.

It fits right in IMO. LOL