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Son regularly dated a college junior during the 06 spring season. My daughter, on several occasions would point out a young lady and state, "I think that is who her brother is dating". After many games & the usual mom & dad hug after a successful pitching campaign, the question from mom, "when can we meet her"? Answer always came from son, "not yet".

After the 2006 completion of another successful team season, which included qualifying for the conference tournament, 2 game sweep (son pitched game 1) of the 1st round opponent and 1st game win (son pitched complete game) of the final 4 before season came to an abrupt close, son called a few days later stating he would stay at school & attend summer class. He also invited us to come meet the young lady he had been dating throughout the spring. While at dinner one late summer evening, son's girlfriend excused herself from the table & while gone, son asked how we felt about him getting engaged. Without hesitation, both his Mom & I in parallel say "no problem". At which time, sister accompanied with her husband asked, "Are you planning a long engagement?" No answer, which in itself, was the answer. At this time, the girlfriend returned to hugs and congratulations. "How cool is this?" I have just not only met my son's college girlfriend, but a future daughter-in-law. While we sit for dinner & enter into a more in-depth visit, I can't help but think, "how lucky my son is? He is 21 years old and God has led him to meet & fall in love with this beautiful young lady who in her own life was led to an "Enlighted by Faith" university.

TRhit,
quote:
I have found that the players who are "truly serious" about the game don't run into this problem


To fast forward, son & his future wife, planned for this huge decision to insure the man of the family could focus on continuing his successful NCAA eligibility & his personal commitment to teammates, coaches & his university. They planned the wedding around the Thanksgiving break from fall classes. A beautiful wedding & son joins into a sweet, loving family. I pray his new wife feels the same. They plan the well deserved honeymoon around the Christmas break, thus minimizing affects to college academics & athletic conflicts.

It has been a wonderful experience this 2007 spring having the entire immediate family at these beginning season's games. What a wonderful & beautiful wife the Lord lead into my son's life! My son is one of the luckiest men I know, aside from my son-in-law that met & married my wonderful & beautiful daughter. Now my wife and I can proudly say we have four kids.

Whether or not my son's baseball performance will be affected by having a loving wife to come home to after practice, games or classes is unknown. We will leave that in God's hands. He has blessed my son's life & baseball to this point, so why should he stop now? In the days going forward, and as every collegiate baseball game ends, he will always have someone there. A partner, led by God, to share the personal highs & lows that will better understand having been there as his NEW #1 FAN. Mom, Dad, Sis & brother-in-law are now his #2 - #5 fans respectfully.
Last edited by Southpaw Pop
It has been our experience, both personally and from watching other ball players, that the RIGHT girl does not get in the way; instead, she shares the way through her support, through her own INDEPENDENCE, and through her personal appreciation of the game of baseball itself.

Our son went with his high school sweetheart from the time they were sophomores until they married 6+ years later. They were only 30 miles apart during college and she understood his priorities and his DREAMS, so they had no problems. It also helped that she had her own interests that kept her busy during those alone times. Tho AJ didn't get married in college, several of his teammates did and we were able to see how a supportive wife differed from a non-supportive wife. We were also able to see how girlfriends impacted players, and it still seemed to boil down to the same characteristics as I stated above. If the girlfriend/wife doesn't 'get it' ... kind of how non-baseball people don't 'get it' ... I sincerely believe that the relationship will fizzle out IF the player is serious about his baseball; if he isn't, then he will not choose baseball over the girlfriend and it was probably coming down to that anyway. JMHO

Anyone have any thoughts, wisdom or stories on this topic today? Seems like a pretty universal thing that doesn't get discussed much here today.

Maybe with technology it's not as much of a problem...the separation thing?

I don't know? I think maybe (?) it could be worse with social media? It's one thing in 1985 when you're a freshman in college and your girlfriend who is still in HS tells you over the pay phone that she's not going out Saturday night. You really have to believe it. How about in 2022 when you're 3 hours away and you see her at a party on her Instagram story and you're very far away? That could mess with your head. Then again, you could be at a party too and she sees it, gets pissed, and then messes with your head.

Maybe it's harder now than before technology?

It has been our experience, both personally and from watching other ball players, that the RIGHT girl does not get in the way; instead, she shares the way through her support, through her own INDEPENDENCE, and through her personal appreciation of the game of baseball itself.


This was my oldest son's experience.   Met the right girl (he was no longer the smartest person in the room) and she was a God-send.  They married a couple years ago.

@Francis7 posted:

Anyone have any thoughts, wisdom or stories on this topic today? Seems like a pretty universal thing that doesn't get discussed much here today.

Maybe with technology it's not as much of a problem...the separation thing?

I don't know? I think maybe (?) it could be worse with social media? It's one thing in 1985 when you're a freshman in college and your girlfriend who is still in HS tells you over the pay phone that she's not going out Saturday night. You really have to believe it. How about in 2022 when you're 3 hours away and you see her at a party on her Instagram story and you're very far away? That could mess with your head. Then again, you could be at a party too and she sees it, gets pissed, and then messes with your head.

Maybe it's harder now than before technology?

Let him do whatever. He will probably learn the hard way, but regardless, he is going to learn

Family friend drafted out of juco.  Made way to AAA, had injury and struggled getting back.  Went Indy.  Got engaged.  All of this over several years.  Succeeded in Indy and was getting velo back.  Had some terrific outings.  Fiance got tired of the battle and told him the $1,500 a month would not support them.  She talked him into quitting 2 weeks ago Monday.  He went into GM office and quit.  Packed up and headed home.  His agent called him on his way home and said are you stupid.  Why did you not call me first?  Come to find out an MLB club was coming to put eyes on him the next night to call him back and all the way up.  When they called to confirm with GM that he was pitching he told them he quit.  They called the agent and said thanks but no thanks.  I'm seriously not sure their engagement or future marriage can withstand that blow.  He will always regret.

Honestly, I think this thread is a total cop out.  Blaming anyone for getting in the way of anyone's career goals is just bull$hit, especially college or professional athletes who are uber focused on their sport.   They were born with a brain, a spine and a tongue.  Use them.   Find the person that supports your dreams.  If not, cut bait.

As always, JMO.   

@fenwaysouth posted:

Honestly, I think this thread is a total cop out.  Blaming anyone for getting in the way of anyone's career goals is just bull$hit, especially college or professional athletes who are uber focused on their sport.   They were born with a brain, a spine and a tongue.  Use them.   Find the person that supports your dreams.  If not, cut bait.

As always, JMO.   

I am all in with the above.

It takes a very special person to be with someone involved with baseball.

Expecting your son's HS girlfriend to understand how it works usually won't.  My son went through this a few times over the years  until he met someone who was supportive as well as has her own interests as well as a successful business. They have been together for awhile and finally will make it official this December.

The kid committed to a school and in the meantime "fell in love". Man, it was dicey if he would go. As "luck" would have it his GF had allowed him to track her Iphone. He comes into the living room one night, sits down, and says "my GF says she is in her dorm studying but her phone is at a bar". That was the end of that and off to school he goes. Thing is the coaches and him were not a fit. He would have been better off if he had stayed closer to home (like where he is now). Three years of wondering how my son forgot to play baseball, transfer, covid year, TJ year, and this year... a return to his old self. The highlight might have been a barely foul ball at Vanderbilt. Down the left field line that I think went onto the roof of the building behind the stadium (at night, lost the ball in the dark). He had some other moments this year that were cool but none of it matters at this point, that said hearing everyone in the stadium gasp was kind of cool.

So a funny tale, but a cautionary one also. Do your due diligence. Where you send your kid matters, make sure it's a fit. Like look up past players and contact them.

Edit: down the left field line.

Last edited by SomeBaseballDad

Ok, so if I haven't bored you enough over the years with my posts, here is one I might have posted back in the day.  My daughter was dating a young man who "might get drafted."  He didn't  and my kid was to blame.  Then, he went off to college.  My daughter went to her senior prom by herself because he could not be there.  Fine with me.  Then, he is playing in a college summer league.  My daughter helps him pack, and they date all summer even though he is not here.  He comes home.  My daughter is about to play in the ASA State Championship.  He comes over and breaks up with her as we are getting in the car to drive a couple of hours to this game.  Time to head back to college.  He starts dating my daughter again and she helps move him into his apartment.  This young man is told that my daughter is keeping him from playing pro and this is an imporant year for him in baseball.  My daughter is now a freshman in college playing softball.  It is time for the season to begin and their colleges are about 45 minutes apart.  My daughter is headed to Alabama for their first games in a huge tournament.  He drives over and breaks up with her again.  This young man does not play professionally and my daughter is asked to do a private tryout for a professional team. (Irony)  The point is that it goes both ways.  In another month, my daughter is getting married to a guy who played college golf and was also very good at baseball in high school.  She is 6 foot tall and he is 6'5" tall.  They are both teachers and coaches.  It all works out in the end.

That's good breeding stock right there, LOL. The son has been dating a 6 ft volleyball player. Obviously there are other way more important considerations, but physical prowess can't hurt.

Yup!  Also, they make a very dangerous 2 person scramble team.  My daughter can drive a ball further than most men.  Last Friday, she drove 3 greens from the red tees.  They won money. 

As a long-time baseball coach, I have to say that I observed a lot of my players who went to college to play baseball marry their high school sweethearts.  Some of them now live in my neighborhood.  That was neat to see.  I do think that there is that moment of conflict where parents do have to worry about negative influences and the son's mind. 

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