How to handle this discussion

quote:

Originally posted by just_a_dad_in_jersey:
...if the coach had no intentions of ever playing him, why did he not cut him?

Hi NJ Dad,
Your son is part of a team and likely filling an important role. That role just doesn't currently include playing in games. Does he enjoy being part of the team?

quote:

My question is: should I contact the coach and ask about the situation or should I stay completely out of it and encourage my son to approach the coach and ask what he can do to improve his chances of playing.

Definitely have your son talk to the coach - asking, just as you mentioned, what he needs to do to get a chance at playing time. Your son may already be more in-tune to what his role is than you think. But this conversation should help clarify. There are many ways this conversation can go. Help your son be prepared for all possibilities. He may be given some things to work on and some hope for this year. He may be given some things to work on and some hope for next year (if so, meanwhile he is getting reps with varsity and improving daily if he is focused on that). The coach may spell out that he is an important practice or bench role player. If so, your son needs to embrace this role and be ready for any changes/opportunities that often occur with these things. The conversation with the coach is not the key. It's what your son does with the information afterwards.

quote:

In all honesty, it's becoming a little frustrating having to pay $12 a day ($6 for my wife and I) to watch him take pre-game infield and retrieve foul balls during the game. How should I/we/him handle this?

NJ

The best thing you can do as parents is to become big fans of the team. Root them all on. Find interesting things you like about each player. Share those things with the other parents. If your son gets in, bonus entertainment. If not, your positive support for all will allow you to enjoy things more and your son will likely appreciate and hopefully follow your lead.

If the answers from coach give your son hope for this year or next, then it is up to your son to determine how hard he wants to work to sieze any opportunity.

We (HS V team) have a handful of role players who rarely get in games but know and embrace their role and truely enjoy being part of the team. We also have kids on the team who don't play much but are one injury or slump away from getting in more. Some are preparing. Some are not. When the time comes, the coaches will know who to go to.

Best wishes.

Well said cabbagedad....

Definitely at ANY level, if a player isn't playing, HE, HIMSELF, and ONLY HIMSELF, should ask the coach "what can I do to get PT", that question asked any other way is just going to cheese off a coach, and especially coming from a parent.

Thanks for the insight. My son loves the game and does enjoy being part of the team. He's just not sure what his role is and doesn't feel like he's a contributing member of the team. Now that the season is in full swing, practices are limited to pre-game warm up. I've given him all the "positive speak" and encouraging words I could think of, but from a parental perspective, it's difficult to see a child frustrated. He is a hard worker and willing to do what it takes, but is afraid the coach doesn't view him as a valuable member of the team. Since it's my kid and we've never really experienced anything like this, it is best for me to stay out of it, but guide him through it. Especially since my emotions are obviously involved.

I will say thanks for putting things in perspective for me. I am a fan of the game at any level and do root for the team, but have allowed my emotions to get in the way of my enjoyment of the game. As I mentioned in my initial post, most of the information on this message board is very useful. Thanks again.

NJ

quote:

Definitely at ANY level, if a player isn't playing, HE, HIMSELF, and ONLY HIMSELF, should ask the coach "what can I do to get PT", that question asked any other way is just going to cheese off a coach, and especially coming from a parent.

Totally agree. The parent should stay out of it you are just going to **** the coach off. If you have to send an email asking any tips that you and your son could work on. Don't mention playing time at all.

quote:

Originally posted by just_a_dad_in_jersey:
.. it's difficult to see a child frustrated. He is a hard worker and willing to do what it takes, but is afraid the coach doesn't view him as a valuable member of the team. Since it's my kid and we've never really experienced anything like this, it is best for me to stay out of it, but guide him through it. Especially since my emotions are obviously involved.

NJ

Every player, at some level, runs into the situation where they are no longer the top guy or the regular player. It could be for a variety of reasons. Regardless, it's still very tough, particularly the first time. And it's certainly no easier on caring parents. But, if handled properly, there's some great stuff that comes out of this, regardless of the down-the-road playing time results.

I'm surprised to hear that you don't still have in-season practice opportunities. That makes it all the more difficult. He should still have that conversation with the coach. And then, some options become - working extra on his own time, squeezing private lessons, hooking up with a good summer program, off-season strength and conditioning and speed/agility work. Probably not telling you anything you don't know, just trying to help re-focus on what he can control.

Sounds like you have a great kid and sounds like he's lucky to have good, caring parents.

How did he do in JV? Was he hitting? What defensive position/s does he play? Need more info. What skills does he have that could help his team?

Thanks again for all the insight. It's a little disappointing that in season practices are very limited. They do nothing on off days. He is involved with a good Summer program so we are very much looking forward to that.

@Playball2011: While on JV he played all the time and was hitting also. Had high OBP.As I mentioned in my initial post, he's not the strongest (110 lbs)or fastest kid on varsity and that could very well be what the coach is looking at. He's a middle infielder with very good defensive skills. The 2 middle infielders that play ahead of him are not the greatest defensive players, but hit the ball hard and drive in runs.

Again, thank you all!

NJ

At 110 lbs., when you say he has "very good defensive skills", do you refer to his glove and not so much arm strength? Middle infield needs decent arms. Giving up 30-60 lbs. to other middle infielders can't help in this regard unfortunately. Speed is also important in middle infield for range. Many coaches probably are willing to trade a little arm strength for speed and increased range. But a middle infielder who isn't fast and doesn't possess a strong arm may have an uphill battle gaining playing time.

If lack of strength (plus BBCOR) also affects his hitting (we're seeing many kids struggle to clear the infield so far), then that's not helping either.

Did he start hitting the gym last off-season? You may want to start down that path to add some size and strength. Add some medicine ball work and sprints to increase speed too. If he's not playing or practicing now, then lifting weights during the season may be a good strategy for summer, fall and next season.

Good luck.

quote:

Originally posted by just_a_dad_in_jersey:
He's a middle infielder with very good defensive skills. The 2 middle infielders that play ahead of him are not the greatest defensive players, but hit the ball hard and drive in runs.

NJ

I have a feeling this answers every question you've asked. I'll take a decent glove at 2b that can drive in runs over a 110 lb 2b I have to DH for.

With the new BBCOR bats, maybe, maybe not.

He does have a strong arm, but that doesn't equal RBI's. Thanks for your candor, sometimes you need to hear someone say what you already know. Thanks again.

Nj

it does get tiring hearing the continued whining from parents--- first off JV is not varsity secondly bseball is a team sport with a roster of X players----the boy is oneof those X PLAYERS

Whoa Whoa TRhit, tap the brakes. No one was whining, although the tone in your reply can be perceived as such. A simple question was asked, to which a plethora of very insightful answers were given. No need for your condescending $0.02.

quote:

Originally posted by Sandman:
If lack of strength (plus BBCOR) also affects his hitting (we're seeing many kids struggle to clear the infield so far), then that's not helping either.

With regard to the situation, I defer to cabbagedad, he has FAR more experience than I do with coaching. I wanted to jump in to discuss this.

Sandman, you know just as well as I do that kids are struggling to clear the infield because of improper sequence.

But many of them cleared the infield last year. Mechanics aside, BBCOR has made it harder for many.