How would you handle the situation?

What is the point of the contract if the coaches don't enforce it? The player in question should have sat, regardless of the impact on the team.

Throwing equipment deserves to be disciplined. I have done it to players including my own son. If he threw equipment and the punishment is spelled out, discipline him. Otherwise, next time someone breaks the rules it could get funky. Dealing with kids, parents and discipline, be consistent......

BENCH HIM!

possibly he re-negotiated his contract (un-beknownst to you )


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Administrative error . Maybe he forgot to sign or lost his kids contract and as a result was unable to levy the penalty.

Just kidding. So what are you doing here.

Teaching kids its not what you are, it's who you are?

and/or

Letting the coaches son realize he is above the law.

The best thing that could have happened for everyone concerned was the penalty was enforced. This is Daddyball at it's best.

If the coach is a friend of yours I would bring it up with a cooler in hand. I'm sure that you can un-personalize it to a certain extent by using the "what message are we sending to the kids" scenario.

Bench him

I'm with you I think.
Catch it early put a stop to it now.
If player is a good player.
Then you will be doing him a favor if you stop that behavior
now while he's young.
That won't be tolerated at any level past his age right now.

That's why parent's should not be involved in coaching after 12 yrs. old, If you want your player to succeed.
I know there are a lot of good Parent coaches out there.
And some understand what I'm saying.
It's hard not to want to coach beyond that age limit.
But do your child a favor and allow someone else to take charge of the coaching. Not another Parent.JMHO. EH

Find another team which does not have parents as coaches. It is time for them to grow up and play on a team that does not have parents as coaches and get ready for high school.

Short of that, everything is just fine when you start the season and everybody are happy, but if the team does not stress the importance of the contract, it will bite the team when it needs to be enforced.

I would bet that the coach's kid did not read the contract, but he should sit and if the team does not win, it should be on the player, if not you will have another "TO - Dallas, Eagles, SF" on your hands.

I should state--the coach that I am friends with is not the same coach whose son threw the bat. And even if it was, I would have no problem telling him his son should be out. And, the player in question has made some progress but still cries at almost every strike out or bad outing. Might want to mention--he is considered to be 2nd or 3rd string pitcher (but please don't hit off him or it is over

quote:

One player has had issues with crying (Don't even go there) and had on one occasion struck out and threw a glove at his dad (base coach).

gee it is so much better coaching today

BBfam, When you have totally impartial coaches and not a Parent involved, Then only talent should and will prevail.
And part of being a baseball player, Is having Respect for the game.
Throwing your bat or helmet is neither.
EH

quote:

One player has had issues with crying (Don't even go there) and had on one occasion struck out and threw a glove at his dad (base coach)

are you sure the guys are 13?? recommend check birth certs

is there another team you can play on within 300 miles or so??


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Player either learns the lesson now or later.

It wont be tolerated at HS and will be detrimental to the player when scouts see that type of behavior.

First of all tear up the contract. Its worthless now. You can not bench someone else for the same behavior in the future. The fact is the coaches have lost all credibility with the players and the parents. From now on if you do bench a kid you are going to hear "What about Billy he didn't get benched but now Jimmy does." And the players might not say anything openly but you know what they are thinking and what they are going to say to each other. Not a good situation thats for sure. Might be time to start all over.

As an old timer bear with the following.

How come now we have to have a contract wth a 13 year old to make sure he knows what to expect as a player on the team. I just told my pkayers what i expected and they went from there. I told them dont throw equipment curse be on time dress properly etc etc etc. If they did not do it we dealt with it. am I missing something here. all those years I did not do it the right way. Sorry to all but I just shake my head when I read some of the situations described on this site.

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Find another team which does not have parents as coaches. It is time for them to grow up and play on a team that does not have parents as coaches and get ready for high school.

Yep, its time. I believe you (bbfam) know what to do next.

Here is the same situation 5-6 years later.

My son was playing on an American Legion team (19u). The team is scheduled to play out of town in two tournaments. Letter given to all the players and families at the beginning of the season and prior to the tournaments reads as follows "anyone found using drugs or alcohol will be sent home at your parents expense (in bold intalics)"

At the first tournament (day 3 of a 6 day tournament) a little less than half the players where caught drinking. Coach holds a meeting with the coaches and kids. Tells him that he is disappointed, but it would be unfair to all the kids if he sent the players that were caught home because "they are trying to win a tournament."

Ten days latter in another town for another touranment. Three days into a 6 day tournament, a number of the kids (mostly the same ones) were caught smoking dope. Once again, he is disappointed and because it was unfair to the other kids nothing would be done until they returned home. This time each kid caught would be suspended for one game (not all at the same time because the team was trying to win it's league).

When the season was just over, the 17-year old brother (not a team member) of one of the kids that was invovled in both incidents was killed in an automobile accident in which alcohol was involved.

In my instance if the point was made when it should have been would there have been an impact on the brother? I don't know but maybe it would have.

As to our story, coaches must begin teaching the most important elements; discipline, teamwork and respect for authority and rules.

PS - My son did not return the next year to the Legion team.

Similar situation happened to me in 2000 as head coach of a 17-18 team. I had a rule about throwing equipment. Soon as you do it, no warnings, you are out of the game. Some business about being mentally tough and ready to play.

Semifinal game of the NABF Regional, we have one loss, and it is two and out. Our best player, CFer and leadoff guy, pops up with two outs in the bottom of the 2nd with runners on 2nd and 3rd. (Great player, bit of a hot head, so he suffered three times from my rule during the season. Everybody was onboard all those times.) Soon as he slams his helmet and bends over to pick up his glove, I tell him to take a seat. He goes ballistic, two of my three assistants go ballistic. My best friend and the other assistant was right with me. 1/2 of the players were with me, the other 1/2 were not. One of the other assistants had a faction of his high school players who were all joined at the hip (he was first and last year assistant for me). Didn't want to make a huge scene, so my first mistake was to let it slide and he played.

We lost to a team that wasn't as good as we were, but as you can see, we were a divided team. And the bad side won out, or so they thought.

these are sad stories that just reinforce many of my feelings. Coaches today have to think long and hard if they want to coach. I was talking recently my assistant of 21 years guy who coavhed with me back in the 70's and 80's(that is 1970 and 80 ) He said the kids just wanted to play ball they would do whatever you told them. they knew what was expected and they did it. Now we hear of all these stories and i ask the question why as a coach break your hump to be put in a position to be the bad guy because some kids just dont have the passion and desire you have.

In discussions with many scouts over the years, I have learned that most scouts pay close attention to a player after a strike out on a bad call. The reaction that a player gives or doesn’t give, tell the scouts the baseball maturity of the player involved. I’ve been at scout games, showcases and at high school games and have heard the scratching off a name as the player throws a hissyfit and his equipment.

Bottom line, like all that have already posted…the contact is only as binding as the backbone of the coach. Start over.

College coaches also look at those things. I was talking to a coach a day or so after a game he had scouted and he asked who the shortstop was and he asked us to tell him to get his act together with his body language. The kid has since went off to college and now has transferred from his ride back east and is playing at another college this year and I heard he is looking for another one....

I certainly agree with all above who say the kid should sit as was forewarned.

I would only add that I think the use of a written contract is worse than unnecessary, it's a mistake.

There really only needs to be one rule: The coaches are in charge.

Coaches should simply make it clear that players are to behave, that the coaches judge whether or not they behave acceptably, that coaches make all disciplinary decisions, and that the coaches' judgment is final. If you don't like it you may leave the team.

From that point on it's up to the coaches to be firm but also fair. Abuse of authority can be a problem, but fair use of authority is essential.

No contracts. Now lawyer-ish arguments about whether it was already covered in the rules of the contract or not. No arguments at all. Misbehavior meets with punishment, end of story.

Many years back, I assisted on a 10u team where the head coach once benched several players for calling names at the other team. His own son was one of those benched. We had to take the field without any outfielders as a result. We lost the game -- an elimination game at the end of a tournament. We had some questions at the time from parents who thought maybe he went too far, but in hindsight I have to say it was absolutely the right thing to do. Who cares that we lost? Who would remember now if we had won? We never had the bench-jockey problem again, I'll tell you that.

After a year or two as a team, we culled out the troublemakers and attracted as replacements those who were seeking our kind of team. (Sometimes we forget that we are being watched and evaluated from the other side of the field as well as our own side. This can work for you or against you, depending on how you are handling things.) We all know that discipline breeds success. This is just another way that proves true.

The coach described in the initial post will lose players off his team. He has lost respect of parents AND players, no doubt. He has lost the ability to discipline others without his fairness coming into question. And anyone whose kid was benched before is probably seething right now.

Travel ball exists in a constant state of free agency. Look for this guy's free agents to fly the coop.

A lot of good advice here - But let me put my two cents in...

Don't say anything to anybody except YOUR son. Just explain to him why you are findng a new team and then DO IT. The coaches made a mistake, and now its too late to correct it. You are trying to contain a virus that will soon infect your son. It is a mental health decision (crying?!). Do the right thing.

The rules are simple--there is no need of a "contract"===here it is folks --the rules-- take it or leave it and the coaches enforce it--you dont like it--SEE YA LATER

quote:

There really only needs to be one rule: The coaches are in charge.

what a novel idea.

quote:

Posted October 25, 2006 06:19 PM Hide Post
The rules are simple--there is no need of a "contract"===here it is folks --the rules-- take it or leave it and the coaches enforce it--you d

Trhit

what about their self esteem?

How about the loud mouth dad on our team that stands behind home plate and belittles our batters? This weekend it was "your pathetic", etc. Should you kick the player off the team because dad is an idiot? Or just ask dad to knock it off for the 10th time this year because you do not want to hurt the kid?

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How about the loud mouth dad on our team that stands behind home plate and belittles our batters?

Make him president of the parents booster club.

You walk over to the dad and you tell him if he doesn't quit acting like an a** his son is off the team. Period. No further discussion needed. The fact is if I have to have kids sign a contract to act like ball players I dont have any ball players or Im a circus clown. You throw a helmet you wear it the rest of the practice while your running. You throw one in a game and you can go play for someone else. Parents act like fools in the stands and embarrass their son or the team and they are asked not to come back and to take their child with them. What is going on? I have never had a kid throw a helmet in a game , NEVER. It happens in practice every other year. After they see what happens to the kid it doesn't happen again. Too many things go on for too long and too many people coddle kids and then wonder why they have a monster on their hands when they are 15 or 16. I would whip my sons A** if he acted like that. And he knew it. Contracts No. Woodshed Yes.

I look at these situations differently than most (I think). If it didn’t involve my son I’m not concerned. I look at it as between the coach and the other player (and maybe his parent if they choose to get involved). Who knows? Maybe this other player had an addendum to his contract or maybe he was grandfathered in and the contract didn’t apply.
I have to share a “bat throwing incident” when my son was 13 (must be a rebellious age). He struck out and threw his bat (first time). It flew all over me and I came out of the stands and headed him off on his way back to the dug out. I said a few choice words to him through the fence. After the game I apologized to his coach but I also made it clear that I would not tolerate that from my son. On the way home I explained to my son that the fence saved his life and the next time he threw a bat or a helmet that I would come OVER the fence. I don’t recall any other bat throwing.
Fungo

attitude can make a so so player good and a good player so so.i remember a talk in cooperstown ok to throw helmets and bats.........but if the hit the ground you hit the pine. or something like that.

kids should learn basic rules at 9 years old.you never throw equip.,barbs at umps.,hissy fits.

you never know who's watching.

Player's/Parent's must learn early on, That there behavior could do more harm than good.
Of course I'm a perfect parent.
Ya Right.

It's all about respect for the game.
Nobody's perfect, But we try to do the best we can.

It should not be the Coach that has to handle that type of behavior.
IT Should be the Player that handle's there unruly Parent.
Did I say that right??
EH

This kid is not learning anything constructive as a ballplayer or as a person. You simply cannot let a player, especially your own kid, get away with something he said he would not do. Unacceptable if you ask me and not only is that horrible coaching, but its bad parenting also.

I'm certainly on the side of benching player, whatever his "standing" on the team. I am also in favor of "contracts", "codes of conduct", etc... Some of the more "seasoned" among us didn't have mom or dad shelling out serious dollars so we could play. We have found the signed code of conduct most helpful in dealing with parents and relatives (mostly grandparents). Our players don't need to sign a piece of paper to know who is in charge of their team but it is helpful in dealing with your "fans". Teams and programs are judged by the actions of all involved, not just players and coaches. It's a heck of a lot easier to get grandpa to put out that cig if daddy knows jr will be booted if he doesn't (maybe a poor example but you get the point).