"if they decommit my son from the reason that they see a better player in the next 2 years before we sign the NLI, or the scholarship is different from they originally verbally promised, I think that will hurt their school reputation."
tao, while I would like to agree with you and think other recruits and their parents would think this, experience says this is a non-issue in most situations. This is really a supply/demand situation and if the school were to decommit, it will likely be quickly forgotten or ignored by every recruit. Most think it won't happen to them, until it does.
What I might suggest is to look at other ways to maximize the security. I would expect the college staff is working through someone, probably a travel coach, HS coach or both. Those should be your son's sounding board and anchors for reliability of this HC and coaching staff with early verbals. My view is most coaches stand by their word. Others have had experiences which demonstrate that is not universal. Use every resource you can to understand the integrity and honesty of this staff to those to whom they obtained early verbals. Nothing will be 100% but if those you know and are relying upon can help with a larger sample group of early verbals over a number of years with solid references and results, I would think that is much more valuable in the decision making for your son than the perspective the coach or program will be impacted negatively if they don't honor the verbal.
I hope some of these thoughts and ideas are helpful.
BTW, thank you for stepping up and posting in this thread, most of which goes against the grain of your views. That is how everyone benefits and I, for one, think it is great you posted.