I have been very lucky

Yes you were TR...your boy had a good coach.

got

Fact was he was not a good baseball coach but he was one heck of a man and respected my son and his baseball ability--the team never won more than 6 games in a season for those three years

TR:

He is a good man...I hope he has taken his good attributes elsewhere and done well with them. Your son learned some good lessons from him most likely.

TR,
I feel our HS experience was about the same. Not a state winning coach, or even a district winning coach. Son did his sitting as a pitcher and not until senior year did he get to play every game after he had signed. He did a lot of sitting, could have pitched more and could have had more team wins. We were upset when moved from JV to varsity end of freshman year, now he lost his at bats. Not playing at various positions sophomore and junior year because of fear of injury by the coach, innings in travel summer team, was not always acceptable by my son, but then as a signed senior he got his wish to be used more than as a pitcher. Although his pitch count was a bit high first few games as a senior, I respect his decision for 3 years to play seniors and have to lose a game (or two).
I know that many will not agree, but as you move up, you realize HS ball for MOST is just a chance to get at bats and innings in, get them in when you can. Coming from a winning HS does not make your son more desirable to a college coach, scout in the end. Neither does missing varsity first two years.

I just don't understand all of the frustrations
these days, I think their are many many coaches who make decisions which we don't understand, but we later look back and realize someof them where for eh right reasons, for our son and the team in general.

tr
you consider yourself lucky?........i think more of us .lived through the same scenario,at least i know i did.i just thought in my mind,and still do freshman(or most of them) don't belong on varsity depending on the size of the school.not because of ability kind of earning your lot.your son had a great experience and sounds like you did as well.i think if more parents were not caught up in the status of varsity etc. everyone would get more from it. but what do i know?

TR - I'm so glad to see this post. I've said before that I have trouble relating to some of the stories shared of HS coaches and players.

My son's HS coach was and continues to be one of the biggest blessings in his life! He gave my son opportunities at an early age despite knowing he'd take a little flack, he watches over all of his kids behaviors and grades, he took/takes time away from his own family to help these guys grown into great young men. The fact that he gets "paid" to do a job is a joke. What's he make - perhaps 2 cents/hr?

He was also a wonderful role model outside of baseball. Loves his wife (who couldn't be more supportive of her husband) and his two little boys. He demonstrated compassion, work ethic, and friendship for these boys to model themselves after.

I think the first person my college son visited when he got home for Christmas was the HS coach. He also got to play basketball with him and some other guys over the break.

I couldn't agree more with what you say - I will always thank God that he was a part of son's life! I feel very fortunate!!

TR...you have been lucky.....our HS coach.....he picked/played favorites.....made his decisions before tryouts even began....and did not have the common sense to keep his mouth shut about it.....we didn't like him from the get go....but kept quiet....we considered moving to another school district....he found out.....sent us a 2 page email stating he would file "recruitment" violation charges against us if we moved son.....our second year with him he cut a senior....whose mother had just died from cancer.....that was it for us.....charges or not....we were out of there.....until he left on his own accord....about a year before he got arrested and charged.....with some bad stuff....

To repeat....not all coaches coach well, not all coaches are good people either.....and parents are not always wrong........it's easy for adults to sit back and base opinions on their own personal experiences........what is good, IMO, is to tell the kids not to give up.....keep working hard.....but I think it' wrong to assume all the time......that......it's the kids and the parents fault.....

I remember when I first started posting here....I mentioned that my son was going into his senior year and had not had much attention....immediately posters began informing me....to basically get realistic....that if my son had not had any offers by now....then give it up.....move on...he wasn't college baseball material.....

Our son has been coached by some wonderful people........good and knowledgeble men.......they were by far the majority in our experience...and we are very thankful to them.......we have also met a lot of parents with blindfolds on......

You don't know.....hopefully you'll get as lucky as TR and TPM....and their sons.....should add....though.....their sons worked hard too.....maybe that's it....a lot of hard work and some luck?

"You don't know.....hopefully you'll get as lucky as TR and TPM....and their sons.....should add....though.....their sons worked hard too.....maybe that's it....a lot of hard work and some luck?"

It wasn't luck. Lots of frustration. Son ending junior year with more losses for two years than wins. We were just a bit more realistic about HS ball expectations. For some, sons HS program for a 6A class school is not what it should be.

We moved before son entered HS so he could attend a highly accelerated academic program that was the only one of it's kind in the county. We knew he had the bb stuff, his edge would be academics.
I realize now how important playing on a better summer ball and tournament team is than HS ball. Even living in Florida, our public HS baseball programs are just what it is, not always elite or the best. Our private schools are different, but I don't see the players in private schools doing any bettr after HS than if they played in public schools. And as far as the best HS in our district, they couldn't pay US to play for the coach.
The first priority in HS was academics.

Okay TPM....take it back.....you were not lucky.....just knew enough to do a lot of research and make very good decisions....and place your priorities on academics....some people might still call that luck.....but I understand what you are saying....you have a talented son and you made educated decisions........

I'm just an old Irish American.....who prays to the Lord at the same time she keeps her fingers crossed for luck.....hopeless........and truly sorry I brought luck into your equation....

LadyNMom,
Sorry, the title of the post was "I have been very lucky".
Have been lucky in the sense that as far as coaches, we didn't have too many problems.

No problem TPM.....understand....and luck put aside.....you did make educated decisions....and placed education as the top priority.....

I support that 100%......

I have to relate a story.

My son had a coach once who we felt was an excellent coach, not just good mind you - but excellent. He was knowledgeable about baseball, he had tons of patience, and he had a way of teaching kids from their mistakes without making them feel like failures. (I truly appreciate that our paths crossed0

I will never forget one summer when a parent was leaving the team. I couldn't believe my ears when the parent said they were leaving because they didn't want their son playing for such a lousy coach.

Same coach. Different perspectives.

There is no doubt in my mind that there ARE a few coaches out there who are undoubtedly BAD coaches. Pure numbers tell you that's gonna happen. After all, when you have thousands of coaches the odds are you are going to get a bad apple on occassion.

For the folks who encounter them it is a difficult situation, to say the least. It is not easy to deal with, and leaves a bitter aftertaste. I colors their perspective throughout all their encounters with future coaches.

But there is a huge difference between the BAD coach - and the coach a parent simple does not like.

Wouldn't it really be nice if you could tell from a simple posting on a message board whether the coach is truly a BAD coach, or if he's a good coach getting a bad rep by a disgruntled parent.

Unfortunately, we see some of both on this message board - and from what I've read over the years - you can't always them apart.

quote:

Originally posted by Tiger Paw Mom:
"You don't know.....hopefully you'll get as lucky as TR and TPM....and their sons.....should add....though.....their sons worked hard too.....maybe that's it....a lot of hard work and some luck?"

It wasn't luck. Lots of frustration. Son ending junior year with more losses for two years than wins. We were just a bit more realistic about HS ball expectations. For some, sons HS program for a 6A class school is not what it should be.

We moved before son entered HS so he could attend a highly accelerated academic program that was the only one of it's kind in the county. We knew he had the bb stuff, his edge would be academics.
I realize now how important playing on a better summer ball and tournament team is than HS ball. Even living in Florida, our public HS baseball programs are just what it is, not always elite or the best. Our private schools are different, but I don't see the players in private schools doing any bettr after HS than if they played in public schools. And as far as the best HS in our district, they couldn't pay US to play for the coach.
The first priority in HS was academics.

TPM...Glad to see someone mentioning academics!!! We had the opportunity to change schools after my son's Freshman and Sophmore years to go play at the school with the elite "baseball program". We didn't do it for a couple of reasons...the primary reason was the school my son was in was stronger academically.

Maybe I'm naive but I just shake my head when I see people moving their kids from 1 school to another based on athletic programs, I just think it sends the wrong message about priorities ( and I don't mean your situation which was based on academics).

And.....baseball gods forbid.....that we should give the parent/player the benefit of the doubt....because .....gosh darn.....chances are...it's just a whiney, complaining parent....with a kid lacking talent....and the fortitude to say.....Hey Coach....you don't like me....you treat me like ****.....I'm a star in every other venue I play....but.....sit me for 4 years....'cause if I can't rise above your evaluation.....and play HS ball.....

Yeah....the parents and kids just don't get it........

quote:

Originally posted by LadyNmom:
And.....baseball gods forbid.....that we should give the parent/player the benefit of the doubt....because .....gosh darn.....chances are...it's just a whiney, complaining parent....with a kid lacking talent....and the fortitude to say.....Hey Coach....you don't like me....you treat me like ****.....I'm a star in every other venue I play....but.....sit me for 4 years....'cause if I can't rise above your evaluation.....and play HS ball.....

Yeah....the parents and kids just don't get it........

Deep breaths LadyNmom.....Deep breaths nice and slow.

What I am suggesting is that we give BOTH sides the benefit of the doubt.

That's the beauty of this site.

For every parent who ALWAYS take the side of the parent bad mouthing the coach.

There is another parent who ALWAYS takes the side of the coach over the parent.

In the end we probably get a much more realistic take on the situation.

My son's HS coach is a great "old school" guy. He's got college, and minor league experience, but luckily for us, and the rest of the team, he has tons of coaching experience at the hs level. Jim transferred to this school last year(his freshman year)after making many friends from playing AAU. We lived in a tiny rural town with not many baseball opportunities. His pleas to transfer to a large public school from a tiny private school were almost non stop for about a year, so we decided to let him try, if accepted, on a commuter basis the first year. It has worked out better than we could have expected. The academics really pushed him last year(the school has an International Baccalaureate Curriculum that he was placed into). He learned so much about time management that it can't help but be beneficial for college. As for the baseball, he was placed on varsity(RHP) much to my dismay. I went through the whole season thinking what a waste that he was losing so many opportunities at the plate, and in the field. I'm not sure there's a coach who could have handled his situation better. He did get a few trips to the plate, and a few innings in the field, but the experience he gained pitching at that level cannot be displaced. IF..IF he works hard, and is lucky enough to play beyond hs it will be in large part to his hs coach.

Novice dad,
Thanks.

I am realizing that sometimes these discussions always get into, good coach, bad coach. Personally, not sure what makes one bad or good. Our HS caoch was not a good coach as far as playing the game and yes many thought he should be replaced by a more strategic coach.

The importance of HS ball means different things I suppose to different people, depending upon where one lives and priorities. We didn't look to HS ball to get son a chance to play beyond HS. HS was for academics, travel summer ball for college recognition. If someone has differnt ideas about the goals of HS baseball, it is respected. But I hear far more talk that coaches are NOT good because their son has to sit out, when he should be playing because he is better.

My son's coach was employed by the county as a teacher, he coached the girls volleyball team as well as baseball and taught classes everyday.Winning or losing would not make a difference in keeping his job. I think he gave everyone a fair shot because he knew that MOST of the players would never play beyond HS, which most of them don't. If you were a senior in his program for 3-4 years you played. He doesn't contact college coaches, he benches the studs who cut class and show up late.He benches you if given a chance and you don't show appreciation for the opportunity, have an attitude. He cuts you if mom and dad are involved in the program or not. I am not sure if that makes him good or bad.

Tr, like many parents that have been there, understands how it works and accepts things that he can't change and has learned the difference between those he can and cannot. He is a class act and we all benefit from his experiences.

TR, Novice, Tiger, Coachric ~

Thanks for keeping the focus!