Is the dream over?

There are times when it , the dream, just runs its course---my youngest son gave it up in his junior HS year saying it wasn't fun anymore---so be it---he is now a teacher and having a great life


BTW--just curious---is your dream or your sons that is apparently over?

OUCH....TRhit. That one hit right between the eyes!

My son asked me once what would we do if he ever decided to give up baseball...I thought about it for a moment and looked him in the eyes and said..We'd go fishing! He smiled.

Thank goodness he was not considering it! LOL

At some point it ends for everyone (with the possible exceptions of Roger Clemons and Julio Franco ).

Just talk to him and find out what he feels. Negative coaches aren't a reason to quit; coaches change.

Not enjoying playing anymore while you still have the talent --- that's the question.

If your son doesn't have the passion for baseball any longer, there is nothing wrong with him deciding to pursue other passions in his life (healthy ones of course). Just go behind a closed door and cry all to yourself! LOL

Sooner or later, ball ends for all of our sons. Sometimes, they go out on their own terms... sometimes on others terms. I respect any kid that stands up to parents to share that his dream might be different than theirs... takes courage and that's a very good thing to see develop.

Get him some time away from baseball first. Let him be able to chill out and relax and recharge his batteries. Once he has time to escape and relax sit him down and talk to him. Ask him how he really feels about baseball and playing. He needs to understand that sometimes there are some hardcore coaches out there. Sometimes you need to hear the message and not how it's delivered - hard to do but possible.

No matter how much we love something you still need to have time away from it.

Be prepared in case he does say he doesn't want to play anymore.

obrady,
Maybe sometimes our players don't want what we want them to want.
This is very typical for some. I remember in HS, my son was not showing the interest his dad thought he should be showing, it was just his way of growing up and expanding their interests which they need to do. Sometimes they just need time off.

That's why I always beleive that playing year round, may make you a better player, but causes burn out.

Ask him if he wants time off and give it to him.

.
Good thread...

I'd suggest to him...

"Be wary of making long term decisions based on short term situations...Don't allow the pressures of certain teams, coaches, teammates, seasons, classes, chose for you...Finish your current comittment...take a break......then decide on YOUR terms."

Younger struggled in HS/summer HS ball...far more than enough reasons to hang 'em up...(politics, coaches, player parents...)

...now loving life in college baseball...

44
.

lafmom:

quote:

If your son doesn't have the passion for baseball any longer, there is nothing wrong with him deciding to pursue other passions in his life (healthy ones of course). Just go behind a closed door and cry all to yourself! LOL

Sooner or later, ball ends for all of our sons. Sometimes, they go out on their own terms... sometimes on others terms. I respect any kid that stands up to parents to share that his dream might be different than theirs... takes courage and that's a very good thing to see develop.

So true lafmom,
The old thread, Who's Dream is it.
Come's to mind.
A lot of good talk and advice in that thread.

Baseball come's with the highest of high's and the lowest of low's and everything in between.
Sometimes a step back and rest, Like TPM and other's have said, you can't fix burnout without rest.

O'Brady, Just wait it out.
Players need to recharge.
EH

Observer44 hit it on the nose. I could tell some stories and heard one today about Team USA.
If the kid loves the game tell him to hang in there, don't let one guy ruin it. If he just likes it ...it is time to hang it up. JMHO
good luck

My suggestion would be to find a good fall program and a coach with a different coaching style. Last year was a nightmare for my son, as well. He talked about not playing againg, etc. but I knew the love for the game was still buried there somewhere. Thank God for a some very supportive mentors and a great summer program. He's back to his old self again and the passion for playing is back too. Find some positive baseball person in his life. Don't allow anyone to be a dream buster for him.

You are absolutely correct Paz22...please don't let the worst of the worst be the one who snuffs the dream...keep fighting...let the loser wallow in his trough.

It just seems that somebody has a bad experience(whatever that means) with a coach and they get frustrated. a word of advice you will have other experiences down the line. Not everybody is going to tell you how good you are and pat you on the back all the time. Get used to it. You have to have thick skin to be successful. How people handle failure says a lot about success.

Very good posts here...

From my observations of my son's experiences, if the love of the game and the drive to play exists within the player, they can weather whatever adversity comes their way.

My son had a rough experience through two years of high school and then injury set-backs through his first two years of college. His attitude has been that no one can take this away from me and he has continued to fight for and keep his place on the field.

That's not to say that he didn't have periods of anger and frustration but he took the position that no one was going to make him give up what he wanted and he resolved to work that much harder.

As a parent, you have to let your son know that you are there for him; advise him on the options and consequences of his choices; and support whatever decision he makes.

I agree with you fully bluesky! My point about a horrible, intolerable coach is to move on and don't let that loser be the one to snuff the dream. It's your dream...not his!

quote:

Originally posted by Will:
... a word of advice you will have other experiences down the line.

How very true Will...and in order to get down the line to have other experiences you have to move on...go forward...don't let someone hold you back...be successful!

quote:

Originally posted by obrady:
How do you know if it's really over?

My son seems to have lost his drive. I know baseball is, well, important, and he has the ability to play at some level of college. But the past year has been a nightmare and I think it has just taken it out of him.

His high school as well as summer coach have been the aggressive types and are critical to the extreme. His summer coach even asked why he even bothered, right after he came in as relief and got the team out of a bases loaded jam (pitcher).

I guess all I can do is give him room and see what happens next, unfortunately he’s a rising senior and this is an important time in a players “career”. Bad time to get down so low.

If your son is a rising senior, I believe there are some things you can do.
Since he is likely to be visiting schools, I would get several set up now where you visit schools during their Fall practice schedule. My view is that is does help to watch college practices and scrimmages.
I know our son benefited by watching minor league games and college games. These can help your son visualize what it might be like at the next level and how his skill fits. Also helps determine whether playing in college is his desire or a desire you have for him.

lafmom ...

quote:

Just go behind a closed door and cry all to yourself! LOL

Quite the 'mom' thing for me ... Dad and son talk baseball and I find out from Dad what is going on other than what I hear on the internet broadcasts. Son and I talk about the color I am painting the living room, the tile selection in the kitchen, the new quilt on the guest room bed, his local friends, etc. When the day comes that he hangs up the cleats and the glove, whether by his terms or 'theirs' (and 'they' have some pretty weird ones), he will never be worried about sharing his heartfelt feelings with "Mom" because he knows there is always a soft place to land with me (in more ways than one, thank you very much prednisone).

His baseball future is not MY dream, but I will admit that I have had this same discussion with Dad ... and I believe it does go back to the different roles we play in his life ref baseball. I just want him to have an abundantly blessed life with his beautiful wife, whether baseball or chemistry teacher or pharmacist, and give me lots and lots of grandbabies (he says he wants 10 kids but I think Katie has something to say about that ... )