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It all changes once your child goes division I

O outsidelookinginMember
I am writing this to give some advice to those high school parents who have yet made the jump to Division I. First I would like to say that I am not a parent of a child playing college baseball but I am related to him. I attended every game from little league YMCA all the way through his current stint playing Division I ball as a red shirt freshman. I am going to list a ton of tips below, some might some reasonable and others not but believe me, things will change dramatically once your son is recruited to play division I baseball.

1) The baseball parents that you have been close with in High School will no longer communicate with you. I still havnt figured out why, the only thing I can think is that they feel left out because their son is not playing for a division I team.

2) You never get close too the Division I parents like you did in High School. The competition is 10 fold over high school and every parent thinks their son is the best on the field and when they sit the bench you might not see them for weeks or until their son is on the field again.

3) The scholarship game that your Division I coach plays with you will be the toughest game you and your son have yet played. Dont feel that you have any leverage because you dont, take what you can get and hope that your son plays if he gets an opportunity and hope that he plays well enough to see the field more than a few times.

4) If your son plays for a Division I team, hope that he plays for a team that he can "play" on, sitting the bench does him no good. I have said many times to family members, its better to play for the worst divison I team in the country and get playing time than play for the best division I team in the country and sit the bench. The reason for this is if your son has any future in professional baseball, he has to be seen playing the game.

5) Stay away from the gossipers and the people who talk rumors about the coaches or other players. You thought high school ball was bad with all the gossip and rumors, Division I ball is just as bad, dont get caught up in this ****, it WILL come back to bite you and that bite might hurt the future of your son's dreams. Remember its very political once you get to this stage.

6) Off-season - Try to keep you son busy in the off-season, this is the Division I coaches nightmare, get them into a league away from home to ensure they stay out of trouble and can focus on baseball. If they have any future beyond Divison I, then that usually means they are only around college for about 3 years or so, so this time is valuable and it will be seen on draft day. It could mean the difference of a few hundred thousand dollars if they have any red flags on their file come draft day.

7) If your son doesnt like the coach, tell him to bad. This seems to common, life sucks most of the time and this is a job. Remind him that this is only temporary and if you transfer from a Division I team, then you just lost 1 year of experience and leverage in the MLB draft. Transferring could be the worst mistake your son has ever made.

8) Stress - The stress was bad enough in high school, unfortunately it only gets worse in Division I. Sit back and relax and watch the games from the stands and my recommedation is to sit far away from the "team seats". You will hear comments from other parents about your son that you wish you hadnt, there is no reason to go through this. You are better off staying away from this and watching the game from your own private sitting without having to worry about someone talking **** about your son.

9) Have fun - It goes quick and before you know either your son is finished playing Division I ball and thats it,... or if your lucky enough he gets drafted and plays a few years in the minors and finally gets to collect a pay check for all those years of playing the game hes loved all his life......and of course we all know what lies at the end of the rainbow that very few ever get to see!
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T theEH1,000+ posts
outsidelookingin, Welcome to the HSBBW.

I understand perfectly what you are talking about.
And the only thing that you can hope for, is that you prepared them enough for the rigors ahead.
Nothing in life is ever fair or easy.

I had a conversation just the other day with my son, I told him nothing in life is going to be a tough as what he's going thru right now as a red shirt junior next year at a D1.
Coming back from Injury.
And that he's making it, He's surviving.
I really think that's what it's all about in baseball, Surviving to play another day.

EH
ClevelandDadClevelandDadHSBBWeb Administrator
I wouldn't let the division 1 stuff go to your head. There is a percentage of cr-ap d1 teams out there so that designation is often times meaningless. I would rather play for a championship caliber d2 or d3 team than a bottom feeder d1.

Your experiences with politics and dealings with other parents are vastly different than mine. Your description of d1 in general seems pretty different from what I am used to.
PU Pop Up Hitter dad1,000+ posts
Outsidelookingin, many of your points seem very familiar to me and I've read past posts that have had the same thread. On son's summer team we have several Div 1 players, they rarely sit while the others switch off. I can certainly relate to several of your points. They may be at the "big show" but how much playing time will they end up with? And in the end, they too will be done playing ball after school. As a matter of fact, we had a 08 "prospect" go to a Div 1 this year, did not get enough playing time. Now he is going JUCO to get it and this kid was drafted last year! Go figure.
L lafmom5,000+ posts
Welcome to HSBBW!

I understand some of what you say and agree with those points. However, I disagree with some as well. As CD says, Div I doesn't really clarify the changes that are ahead for a player. All levels mean changes and some NAIA/Div II/Div III schools have bigger and better programs than a very low level DI.

My own son had HS teammates that went DI, other levels, and drafted at several levels including a first rounder. All of those kids talk to one another and he graduated five years ago. I would say that kids not staying in touch has more to do with personalities and the bond they held before leaving HS.

Stress, the different kind of bond amongst parents, the more intense work expected out of a player - again, that's at the college level and varies between programs (not just DI). However, it is difficult for the parents to have the same sort of relationships. You've got parents from all over the country perhaps - maybe even out of the country. Naturally, they may see each other
two-three times (if they're lucky).
CPLZCPLZ1,000+ posts
A couple of things struck me...

First, the relationship of the parents to other parents is completely individual. At my sons school, it seems that the parents of a player that has made a mistake, had a bad outing, etc, very much know that their son had a bad day. No one hides or says bad things, it's obvious Junior had a bad day, so Junior had a bad day? So what? We do hear the occasional gripe or mumbling about coaches favorites...but (segue)

Regardless of who the coaches favorites are, the coach seems very mercenary and puts the best player on the field at the time he thinks is going to help the team win. How the players and parents handle it, differs greatly. This year, a senior 2B/SS who was a three year starter, became a backup utility player to a freshman 2b. Raised a bunch of eyebrows...until the kid hit .360 in the leadoff position with a .480 OB% and became a freshman all American. Does everybody like the coach? (segue #2) Smile

Coach doesn't run a popularity contest. I was sitting having dinner at a road game with Junior and a bunch of players...and the bit@hing about the coach started. When I had heard enough, I asked them, "So, if coach was easier on you, do you think you'd be looking down the barrel of a conference championship again this year and going to the NCAA regionals?" I got a lot of sheepish shoulder shrugs out of that one. He's not there to be your buddy, and nothing is political with him...he's there to win baseball games, his job depends on it and he's going to do what it takes to keep his job. (segue #3) Big Grin

Playing baseball in college, especially D1 or D2, is a job. Up until this point, it will be the hardest job these kids have ever had when you factor in the school work also. I have yet to meet the D1 athlete that was fully prepared for the physical and mental grind of D1 athletics. If they take their job seriously (and I will argue with anyone that says more than 60% of D1 athletes put out over 95% effort year round), they usually get it, understand the rigors, understand the coaches, and matriculate very nicely.

I enjoy some parents, not so much with others...and I'm sure I am perceived in both camps by other parents. I hate to paint with such a broad brush as to advise that all parents are one thing or another. Like any new endeavor, tread lightly, learn the landscape, be gracious and open, and things will be probably be ok.
Dad04Dad045,000+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by ClevelandDad:
I wouldn't let the division 1 stuff go to your head. There is a percentage of cr-ap d1 teams out there so that designation is often times meaningless. I would rather play for a championship caliber d2 or d3 team than a bottom feeder d1.

Your experiences with politics and dealings with other parents are vastly different than mine. Your description of d1 in general seems pretty different from what I am used to.


A couple of observations stuck out as maybe true in a particular case, but could hardly be submitted as generalizations.

I agree. Based on my experience, the talent and baseball quality lines between quality mid-major D1 and and top D2 teams is fuzzy and blurry at best. A talented and well run team is a well run team, regardless of division. Numerous D2 teams have moved into D1 and risen to the top of their conferences, seemingly with ease. UC Davis and Florida Gulf Coast U. come to mind.

I'd submit that for the majority of college benchwarmers, professional baseball is not a realistic goal to work toward. Darin M. is one exception to the rule.

3) The scholarship game that your Division I coach plays with you will be the toughest game you and your son have yet played. Dont feel that you have any leverage because you dont, take what you can get and hope that your son plays if he gets an opportunity and hope that he plays well enough to see the field more than a few times.

A player is a commodity that schools bid for when recruiting. Most schools are competitive.

7) If your son doesnt like the coach, tell him to bad. This seems to common, life sucks most of the time and this is a job. Remind him that this is only temporary and if you transfer from a Division I team, then you just lost 1 year of experience and leverage in the MLB draft. Transferring could be the worst mistake your son has ever made.

I'm not sure that "liking" a coach is any more neccessary than "liking" a professor or employment supervisor. Mutual respect should be the goal, in my opinion. That is probably what was meant though. I'll agree that transfering is seldom the answer to anyones baseball dreams.

9) Have fun - It goes quick and before you know either your son is finished playing Division I ball and thats it,... or if your lucky enough he gets drafted and plays a few years in the minors and finally gets to collect a pay check for all those years of playing the game hes loved all his life......and of course we all know what lies at the end of the rainbow that very few ever get to see!

I agree that having fun should be the goal. There are at least 20,000 college players. A few dozen will get bonuses large enough to entice them to leave school early. 99% of college players will never play pro ball, let along major league baseball. I wouldn't even think about it until finding time to manage scout interviews is becoming a problem. The day you turn pro you are at the very bottom of the ladder, just like any other job.
Last edited by Dad04
TRhitTRhit10,000+ posts
It is all about different strokes for different folks

My son went to a D-1 that was last in its very strong conference and played an number of powerful outside of conference teams---ask him why he went there and his answer is simple " Look who they play outside of conference ( ASU, Arizona, Oklahoma State etc). They are not winning with what they have so I have a shot play a lot."

As for the politics --yes it exists---not openly like in HS but it is there--fortunately it didn't hurt his playing time as it did not affect his outfield position.

As for the coaches their job is to win---nothing else---they are not your sons best friend but his Head Coach and the Recruiting Coach are still in touch me and friends with my son


Like I say--different strokes for different folks
DaddyBoDaddyBo100+ posts
My first year experience with D-1 leads me to disagree with #2 & #5. Granted, our son's is not the typical D-1 college, but we had the best experience we could hope for with the parents/players of our son's team. Limited exposure because of a 1,200 mile distance may have helped this, but practically each parent and player we met (pre-son-playing to son contributing significantly, actually replacing veteran player) was very welcoming, helpful and mentoring...to us and our son.
Heck, I guess I'm just bragging on the positive difference from our son's experience than from "the norm"...I'm sure there are some negatives, but we've muddled through those so far.
Dad04Dad045,000+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by DaddyBo:
My first year experience with D-1 leads me to disagree with #2 & #5. Granted, our son's is not the typical D-1 college, but we had the best experience we could hope for with the parents/players of our son's team. Limited exposure because of a 1,200 mile distance may have helped this, but practically each parent and player we met (pre-son-playing to son contributing significantly, actually replacing veteran player) was very welcoming, helpful and mentoring...to us and our son.
Heck, I guess I'm just bragging on the positive difference from our son's experience than from "the norm"...I'm sure there are some negatives, but we've muddled through those so far.


We didn't feel very much jealousy in high school. I truly believe son pulled hard for his teammates, most of whom he had played baseball with since he was 8. He loved his team. Obviously we knew most of the parents for a long time also.

We made a bunch of new friends at his college too. The parents I met, which was most of them, were very supportive of each other. They were mostly good teammates too.

I think a good, successful team is generally happier than the other kind.
Last edited by Dad04
C CaBB1,000+ posts
I wrote many rebuttals to the original post last night and deleted them all. But, parents/players come on here to hear about all different experiences to help them with their journey through baseball.

Our experiences have been the exact opposite of the original poster. In high school, lucky enough to be on a team with 5 D1 signees. One drafted and playing in Milb now, the rest @ D1 schools. All they boys remain very close, as do us parents. If there was jealousy in hs never saw it personally.

College was great the 1st year. Son played hard in fall and got a fair amount of playing time in spring. Loved his coaches, teammates, and school. Parents were gracious and friendly to us newcomers. Son got great mentoring from the jr. that played his position.

Work hard, be supportive of team and coaches, and if you've chosen the right fit (regardless of division) hopefully things will work out. When looking at schools it's helpful to talk to parents or players on the team. People do talk and bad stuff gets around. Consider the source but certain things may be a red flag and maybe that program isn't for your son.

Know what you're looking for in a program. Would your son be happy on the bench or would he prefer to be in a program where he can contribute fairly soon?

Now a whole new adventure awaits son as he starts his 2nd year in the fall. Freshmen(or players that didn't play much last season) will be nipping at their heels so they'll have to work every bit as hard as last year to earn their position.
hokieonehokieone5,000+ posts
One of my sons has graduated from a good D III program here in Virginia, the other is heading into his senior year. It has been a wonderful experience for both sons. Older son played little but was the "life of the dugout" guy; younger has started pretty much from day one. Both have had great experiences and we've enjoyed the fellow parents all the way through. The younger occasionally laments that he could play for a lot of D I's, and I suspect he could have, but he's been on the field from day one and would not have been content to sit on the bench anywhere so it has been an excellent fit. Good coaches, good education, good fellow parents. We wouldn't trade it for anything, anywhere. If all D I is like the first post, I'm even happier that my guys went down their chosen path.
TPMTPMHSBaseballweb Member since 2003
Outsidelookingin,
Welcome.

I have to go along with the above post by Cabb, our experiences were the opposite of yours.

#1 and #2, #8 we remain friends with some parents from HS and college. The D1 parents were all terrific, very supportive and they made sure son was taken care of because we were far away. Still have contact with HS, summer and college coaches. I remember when son got a weekend start because the regular starter needed some thinking time, we felt bad, mom and dad said, he deserved it, and the same thing happened to son and we felt the same way.
I do beleive there are some coaches who make it their business to meet parents and try to see if the parents will have chemistry, I know Kevin O'Sullivan is big on that concept. Everyone is happy, the team does better. That's why they have preseason dinners and cookouts and that's why parents plan tailgates together.

#6, one can find trouble anywhere they go.

#7, somewaht agree with this, not always going to have the love for the coach, but you respect him none the less. Transfering doesn't mean the grass is greener.

#3, son didn't play any ercruting games, given an offer, he said yes or no thank you. If they didn't call or offer, he moved on. It only becomes a game if you make it so.

#4 son did play and so did most of the players, though it doesn't always happen that way even in the best of programs. There are many players who know their limitations and will sit the bench on a top D1 team. There was even a player who didn't play much who was the team captain, every team has a need for every type of player. Most players who do show a future in professional ball ARE playing.

#5 never found it to be political, yes there is gossip, but you take it from who it's coming from. College baseball, whatever division, JUCI, NAIA is what it is, the players that get the job done play.

#6, one can find trouble anywhere.

#7 somewhat agree, you don't have to love your coach, but you must always show respect. Sometimes you get a goos swift wakeup call, but realize after it's all said and done that it was in your best interest.

#8, I always agree that you should relax and enjoy, but that is hard.

#9, always have stated have fun, it doesn't last forever. As far as the end of the rainbow, that's to earn a college degree for most and that should always be the first priority. Don't blame anyone that your son didn't advance because the coach didn't give him the opportunity (ex. vinnie).

Although I also agree that all opinions should be heard, sounds like you have a few issues. Yeah we all have had issues, but mostly those I know here have had positive experiences and so have their players.
Last edited by TPM
mythreesonsmythreesons500+ posts
Outside... you sound a little bitter. Your opening line reminds me of the famous "I have a question... it's not for me, it's for my friend." So you're not the parent... hmmmm. Not sure why it matters, but OK.

Your points (tips?) may be true (at least from your perspective) but they obviously are not universal. So I'm not sure what useful advice you hoped to offer... things that were good in high school will no longer be good, and things that were bad are only going to get worse? That's about what I got from it. If there was another point you were trying to make, perhaps you'd care to come back and clarify.
C catfish342100+ posts
Your post makes it sound as if college baseball is nothing but a snakepit. Sorry, haven't found that to be true. And if you think these things only occur at the D1 level, I would tell you that there's heated competition for playing time at all levels, D1, D2, D3, NAIA, JC. There are always players who are looking to take a teammate's starting job. That's the very nature of the game.

I'd tell you that players who only worry about their pro prospects are probably not going to enjoy their college experience. They're probably going to end up disappointed on draft day as well. I'd bet the majority of college players are looking to get the most out of where they are by trying to improve as individuals and trying to help make their team better. That's why they wanted to play college baseball in the first place.

And on every team at every level, there are going to be happy parents and unhappy parents, with the happiness generally related to their son's playing time. But the best parents can honestly evaluate where their son fits in talent-wise and make the most of it by pulling for whoever's on the field. Do all coaches make the right decisions? Not always. But that's part of the learning process, too, for players and their parents. Again, this happens at colleges big and small.

You don't sound happy, and that's too bad. But the people on this board have experienced a wide range of situations and no two are ever going to be exactly alike. It's the player's job to figure out how to make things work, and the parent's job to support their sons in good times and tough times.
O outsidelookinginMember
Thanks for the responses. I would like to start by stating that I am not troubled, I am not bitter and college baseball is not a snakepit. I would also like to re-state, I am not a parent of a son that is playing D-1 ball. I am very close to this person and I am just stating what I have seen over this long adventure over the years.

My example of the scholarship game. My D1 player redshirted his first year, his second year was given some chances and was a friday night starter dby the end of the season. It was determined at the beginning of his redshirt freshman year that he would not receive a scholarship his redshirt sophmore year. So now we have a potential friday night starter playing his redshirt sophomore year (next season) playing as a walk-on? Yes he has a option to transfer but would have to sit out 1 year if going to another div 1 school. This would be the worst choice possible. The coaches have him in this position because they know he is going to get drafted his redshirt sophmore year and think he is probably gone, that is the reason I believe for the non-scholarship season. (they have placed him in a tough spot) and this is what I mean by the scholarship games that are played on this level. I am going to push for him not to go pro and hope he comes back for his junior season. But we will see what his sophmore season is like.

I understand everyones experiences are different and actually I am not upset at all over my D1's time so far in college, its actually gone better than expected.

I just wanted to share the experiences I have had and seen so far with D1 ball.

Thanks
CADadCADad5,000+ posts
We know a family who went from a situation where their son was a starting pitcher in HS but were very unhappy with the HS coach and the way he treated the player over his HS years to being a recruited walk-on at a D1. The same parents who were unhappy during HS were very satisfied with the treatment their son was getting at a D1 at a point in time when he hadn't yet played an inning. Part way into the season he earned a spot as the Sunday starter and they became even happier. We went to see several of their games and the parents all seemed to get along quite well and support all the players. Just one data point so you can't draw any conclusions from it, but it certainly is a positive one.

Also, we were generally pretty happy with the honesty of the college coaches during the recruiting process. They were generally pretty straightforward. The ones who stopped being interested stopped communicating but that's just the way it goes.

I will say that I know of a couple websters whose sons didn't have great experiences initially in college.

The world of D1 baseball isn't perfect but I think if you go into it with your eyes open most of the time the player will be OK.
Last edited by CADad

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