Juco dismissal

quote:

Originally posted by PGStaff:
Play9,

I haven't got time to read all the replies right now, but to answer your question. Sorry if this sounds a bit cold.

Yes, there are many schools that will give him another chance "if" he has something they want! He really needs to make the best out of the next opportunity. I suppose he knows that.

What he did was probably stupid, but lets don't fool ourselves into thinking college age kids all stay away from beer. He just needs to be smarter!

I agree which is why I try to take the mystery out of alcohol by giving my kids that turn 18 beer or wine as long as they stay in my house. So far it has worked.

fanofgame. You're right on the money and have covered it all.

quote:

I agree which is why I try to take the mystery out of alcohol by giving my kids that turn 18 beer or wine as long as they stay in my house.

Just don't give it to your kids' friends at your house or you could end up in jail.

Taking the mystery out of alcohol will lessen the taboo of underage drinking and they'll be less likely to do it behind your back or in places where they could end up in big trouble. It also makes having to drink not that big a deal and are less likely to do crazy party drinking and become more social about it. Of course it has a lot to do with their character and the types of friends they hang around with too.

Fanofgame - if i misinterpreted your post - my appologies. I have heard many parents say that we should allow our kids to drink because they are going to do it behind our backs anyway. Glad that is not your stance!

quote:

Although I am sure you are talking about me because I am strict and don't condone my son drinking under age, I in no way believe he is perfect. I am simply comfortable in the role as parent rather then friend. It's my job to teach him the rules.

No I am not singling out anyone.I have been on this site for nine years and have got along well with most.We have over the years have had a lot of heated discussions over the years.

I again sturggle with those who have kids not even out of HS to be so critical when they ahvent been down that road.

Enough said.My two children are adults now.One graduating in May from a top notch 4 year school,D1, big time conference, and in four years.
He has not been in trouble at college, or HS, Was he perfect NO.

As PG said Be Smart.

quote:

Fanofgame - if i misinterpreted your post - my appologies. I have heard many parents say that we should allow our kids to drink because they are going to do it behind our backs anyway. Glad that is not your stance!

No I never advocated underage drinking.BUT it happened.It still happens and will continue to happen.

This is the question: As a parent you are strongly opposed to under age drinking and your kids know it.One of them goes to a party and is drunk, sick, whatever.he is afriad to call you because he knows it will be big time trouble.So he stays at a friends SICK,or he sobers up,drives, or drives with someone else that is drunk ,or has been drinking.

Which do youprefer: 1.you dont know about it
2.Your kid lies to you about it
3.Your kid calls you and says MOM,Dad,I broke the rules and I drank tonight.I am really sick, and scared and dont have a way to get home.I want to home with you

What you going to do.Scream and yell, guess what they wont call you next time if there is a next time.

Myself I want my kid alive.I want my kid if he is sick to be with us.I want my kid to be able to ask for forgiveness and learn from it.I want my kid to trust me.Yes I am the parent,I am not his freaking buddy, but I dont want some other kid to be the one who is giving his the suggestions as to how to fx it.



Just dont think kids will be perfect.And By God if mine aren'tI want them to come to me.I will deal with it how I deal with it, but they will be safe.

quote:

Originally posted by fanofgame:

My kids have always been honest and open, they are 29, and 21.Never been in trouble, never drank and drove a car.But they drank some.

That is great if you know your kids never drank and drove a car but I would think for most parents it would be hard to say their kids never drove after drinking with 100% certainty. Most parents don't have all of the information to know the answer to that question for sure.

quote:

Originally posted by 2013 Dad:
I am sorry for you or you son. Some posters here are not very understanding. This would never of happened 20 years ago. Now with media, internet, etc. every little thing becomes a huge deal.

It is common practice in Countries all over the world to allow minors to drink (responsibly, wine at dinner, etc.). Those countries do not have the drinking issues we do. It's the forbidden fruit thing.

Until a few months ago, I had the same impression. However, a comparative study came out then that indicated that binge and excessive drinking are correlated with lower drinking ages. So, it may be more an ease of access issue.

Keep in mind, the intended effect of Prohibition was to lower drinking and drinking-related illness, and on that point, it was successful, so there is additional support for that hypothesis.

Excellent post from fan of game, please read everyone.

I don't really see where this should be compared to serving in the military. They have their rules too, if you break them you could be out as well.

What amazes me is that the player was caught last year, and again this year, and yet some are excusing it as being ok. It's NOT ok.

If it were me, I would tell son , well you will just have to finish out this year and prove you are responsible enough to handle college life and baseball. Then we'll see. Parent seems to be more upset he is out of the game, not that he disobeyed the rules twice (I may be wrong but that is my perception.

One more thing, PG is pretty perceptive, if the player had something they really wanted, they may have looked the other way.

quote:

Originally posted by 2013 Dad:
I am sorry for you or you son. Some posters here are not very understanding.

Not sure if you have one in college or not, but I will warn you in advance, just wait, be thankful that administrations, coaches, states have rules.

TPM - When I read PG's comment I thought he meant the next coach (new opportunity) would overlook prior issues "if" the player had something (skill set) the coach wanted/needed.

I might be off base but I thought he was referring to the next coach not the current coach.

quote:

Originally posted by cheapseats:
TPM - When I read PG's comment I thought he meant the next coach (new opportunity) would overlook prior issues "if" the player had something (skill set) the coach wanted/needed.

I might be off base but I thought he was referring to the next coach not the current coach.

You are right, however, I do beleive that if the player was invaluable, the story may have come out differently.
My opinion is that the player has to be pretty good if a coach is going to overlook what has transpired.

Wise words TPM. Sometimes as a parent is really nice to only have to support the laws/rules rather then being the hard *** making them! I personally am grateful for laws aimed at safety.

Thanks PG staff, You were very good to my son 2 years ago he said. I dont know the details but he speaks highly of you. He is a very good LH pitcher and screwed up. I honestly would have no problem with what happened if he didnt play ball.Ball players are held to a different level than the student body, and rightfully so, they receive athletic money. This discussion kinda got off track, but thank you everyone for your opinion. I've never been on this board till now, except listening, and I wish i did this earlier

Calisportsfan, I really like your way of thinking and parenting. Seems we have something in common. For my kids, rules and expectations were black and white just as it is with the law that is established. There were no gray areas taught.

With that being said, it doesn't mean that the rules were never tested or pushed. But they knew what I and the law expected of them. They also saw what happened to other kids their ages when they veered off the chosen paths.

Parents are free to choose how they want to raise their kids. Eventually one way or another, they figure it out or it gets figured out for them.

YGD

YoungGunDad, thank you. Parenting is pretty easy when the rules are known. It doesn't always mean they are followed, simply what the repercussion is when they aren't. No false sense of my parents will work it out for me because sometimes we can't or won't!

Play9, I sent you a PM....

quote:

Originally posted by Matt13:

quote:

Originally posted by TPM:

quote:

Originally posted by baseball_fever:
Yes I agree with 55mom - we think boys are mature enough to shot and kill another human being in war and yet the drinking age is 18? Makes no sense.

On most college campuses the rule is no alcohol in the dorm, whether you are 18 or 21. Not sure it's really about age, but policy.

I don't know if that is true. None of the schools I went to (either graduate or undergraduate) have absolute prohibitions on alcohol in campus housing for undergrads.

All four universities my children attended had absolute prohibitions against alcohol on all university owned properties including dorms and in recognized housing such as frathouses. Such prohibitions are spreading in light of the number of alcohol related deaths, injuries, crimes and the incidence of binge drinking and alcoholism in student populations.

quote:

Originally posted by YesReally:
Young people are going to push limits - we know that. With that said - do we really need to loosen the rules so that in order to push limits they must do things that are even MORE dangerous/ stupid / irresponsible?

No, we do not. If you lower the drinking age, you also lower the age for temptation. When I was in HS, the PA drinking age was 21. In NJ, it was 18. (I was never 18 in HS). I remember, vividly, sitting in a go go bar in NJ, at age 15, with a pitcher of Miller. 15! Can anyone picture their 2014 kid doing that? It's the same as 14 year olds trying to sneak in NC-17 movies, or going off 'nerd-safe' on aol. They think they're smarter than they really are and can handle it. My own experiences say that's not so true. (I just never got caught.)

As far as underage, on campus, one thing I learned a long time ago as a parent is don't say, "not my kid. He'd never do that." Been lucky so far, but nothing would surprise me. I'm not stupid. I know what goes on. We all do. Sometimes, it's all a matter of luck, good or bad. Play9's son ran into bad luck. I hope it turn's out OK for him.

In the for what it is worth category - you can take a HARD LINE with your kids on drinking and still leave open the option for them to call when they have made a mistake (and most will). We have told our children (and their friends) that if they are ever in a position when they are away from home and need to get home for whatever reason (they are drinking - friend/driver is drinking - illegal/uncomfortable activities going on - etc.)they can always call. The agreement is no yelling at the time - but consequences may be assessed later / next day when the immediate problem is resolved.

YesReally, I am with you. That's exactly how it's done and my kids know they can trust what I tell them because I always do what I tell them and have their whole lives. In return, I expect they do what I tell them! But, they know to call and it's safe. I also have two sets of family friends that they know they can call and the adults have promised my kids they will never tell me unless it's a safety issue as a back up plan they needed help and weren't comfortable asking me for it.

My friends all also know that I am a parent who appreciates the heads up if someone hears something about my kids and that I won't respond in anger but appreciation that someone cared enough about me or my kids to give me heads up. I have had people tell me in return they don't want to be told anything!