I think an important question here is, 'Is baseball a worthy enough endeavor that pushing your son is acceptable'?
Most kids resist musical lessons at a young age. Most parents make their kids take the lessons anyway and are not looked at in a negative way for it. The idea being that the kid will benefit in the long run from the experience.
Should kids also be pushed to experience sports and all the pros and cons that come with it? When I was young all the kids in school had to participate in gym class. Nobody was allowed to go sit on the bench and talk with friends. My memories of gym class was that it was very physical. Exercising and playing very physical sports.
When kids reach high school age is when parents should probably ease up on the pushing. Morph the pushing into guiding. Until then, I don't have a problem with kids being forced to do any character building activity.
I remember the many times my son and I would be heading home after a workout and I would see the same group of kids always hanging out in front of the 7-11 store. So even though my son loved baseball, I always figured I would have him doing something, anything other than just 'hanging out'.
So back to the original question, 'Is baseball/any sport a worthy enough endeavor to justify pushing'?
If you like baseball more than (you name it) but your son likes (you name it) better than baseball.
What is one to do?
What is one to do?
quote:Originally posted by PGStaff:
If you like baseball more than (you name it) but your son likes (you name it) better than baseball.
What is one to do?
There obviously has been some poor planning done and a "push" may be in order
. Seriously, I like to hunt and fish, my son likes fish fry's. That was obvious from the get-go. When he was young I never once tried to push a gun or fishing pole in his hand.
With that said I know that he would take up skeet or target shooting at the drop of a hat because of the hand-eye and mental focus it takes to succeed. A new challenge from a different perspective.
Something for all of our children to remember (not a bad message for adults either)...
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our "light", not our "darkness" that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, talented, or have incredible skills. When the real question should be...who are we not to be all we can be? Playing your role in life "small" doesn't help the world, in fact, it is a disservice!
We can't be all things to all people, however, we must believe in who and what we are, then play it to its (your) full potential! When we let their (or our) light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to let their "light" do the same. As they are liberated from their fears, their mere presence liberates others.
S0......give your children "permission" to be as great as they can possibly be. Holding back only deprives others the opportunity to be the best they can be! Dare to believe....they are a once-in-all-history event, not only is it your right to be the best you can be, it is your duty to the rest of humanity. A gift to cherish, not hide......
SO......to tie it back to the thread...help them anyway you can.. Help them dream and help those dreams to become reality...it makes us all better!
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our "light", not our "darkness" that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, talented, or have incredible skills. When the real question should be...who are we not to be all we can be? Playing your role in life "small" doesn't help the world, in fact, it is a disservice!
We can't be all things to all people, however, we must believe in who and what we are, then play it to its (your) full potential! When we let their (or our) light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to let their "light" do the same. As they are liberated from their fears, their mere presence liberates others.
S0......give your children "permission" to be as great as they can possibly be. Holding back only deprives others the opportunity to be the best they can be! Dare to believe....they are a once-in-all-history event, not only is it your right to be the best you can be, it is your duty to the rest of humanity. A gift to cherish, not hide......
SO......to tie it back to the thread...help them anyway you can.. Help them dream and help those dreams to become reality...it makes us all better!
Welcome J23,
Nice post!
What's your opinion?... Should we push/guide/lead/support our kids to be the best they can be at what we want them to be best at or what they want to be best at?
Nice post!
What's your opinion?... Should we push/guide/lead/support our kids to be the best they can be at what we want them to be best at or what they want to be best at?
quote:Originally posted by PGStaff:
Welcome J23,
Nice post!
No kidding.
A little profile research shows he's another one of those intelligent CO posters who's kid will probably end up at an Ivy.
FrankF- we found a new friend for ya
Great post J23
Nudging, guiding and facilitating are all part of a parent's duties. No matter what activity our kids choose.
If we had to push, force or cajole them to play baseball I don't think any of us would be part of this website today. Our sons would have stopped playing baseball and been onto other endeavors long ago.
If we had to push, force or cajole them to play baseball I don't think any of us would be part of this website today. Our sons would have stopped playing baseball and been onto other endeavors long ago.
Re: J23
There are people afraid to fail and there are people afraid to succeed. Be neither.
There are people afraid to fail and there are people afraid to succeed. Be neither.
quote:Should we push/guide/lead/support our kids to be the best they can be at what we want them to be best at or what they want to be best at?
PGStaff, I'm curious to know what happened to the younger brother who quit baseball after a year in rookie ball. Do you know what he wanted to be best at? Did he go to college after that? Do you know how he's doing now? Did his dad feel regret for pushing him so hard? Just wondering.
So is the following a push, a nudge, or a facilitation?
Baseball begins tomorrow at 6 am. 27, in the middle of a full basketball schedule and practices, and a newly minted 15-yr-old, says he'll skip the early mornings while basketball is going on. (I feel he needs to show up, because he's committed to both sports.)
After the basketball game tonight I was talking with the wife of the Soph baseball coach. Just regular conversation. She said to tell 27 to be ready at 5:30, because she'll be giving him a ride to practice. I delivered the message...27 will be ready to go at 5:30 in the morning. He will also talk with the Soph and HC, and work with them and the basketball coach as far as the remaining games, practices, and overlaps are concerned. (That was the extent of our conversation. No "orders"...no demands...just conversation.)
That's where I feel I should be as the parent: giving advice through conversation rather than orders. He is the athlete. His coaches rule the court and the field. I cheer, offer support where I can, extra BP or long-toss when 27 asks...the "dad" things. I don't tell him how to pitch, when to put up a 3-pointer, or when to work out. I do give him an open invitation to throw, do BP, or head out to the court and have him "school" me any time he wants. We talk. I offer advice. He strikes me out, or dunks on me, grins, and listens. Sometimes anyway
There are areas where I am "Dad" and I expect him to listen and do as I ask. There are areas where I am "Dad" and I expect him to listen to his coaches and do as they ask. I am "Dad" and he expects me to know where those areas differ. I feel as long as we both live up to our areas of responsibility, then he's staying on track.
Baseball begins tomorrow at 6 am. 27, in the middle of a full basketball schedule and practices, and a newly minted 15-yr-old, says he'll skip the early mornings while basketball is going on. (I feel he needs to show up, because he's committed to both sports.)
After the basketball game tonight I was talking with the wife of the Soph baseball coach. Just regular conversation. She said to tell 27 to be ready at 5:30, because she'll be giving him a ride to practice. I delivered the message...27 will be ready to go at 5:30 in the morning
. He will also talk with the Soph and HC, and work with them and the basketball coach as far as the remaining games, practices, and overlaps are concerned. (That was the extent of our conversation. No "orders"...no demands...just conversation.)That's where I feel I should be as the parent: giving advice through conversation rather than orders. He is the athlete. His coaches rule the court and the field. I cheer, offer support where I can, extra BP or long-toss when 27 asks...the "dad" things. I don't tell him how to pitch, when to put up a 3-pointer, or when to work out. I do give him an open invitation to throw, do BP, or head out to the court and have him "school" me any time he wants. We talk. I offer advice. He strikes me out, or dunks on me, grins, and listens. Sometimes anyway
There are areas where I am "Dad" and I expect him to listen and do as I ask. There are areas where I am "Dad" and I expect him to listen to his coaches and do as they ask. I am "Dad" and he expects me to know where those areas differ. I feel as long as we both live up to our areas of responsibility, then he's staying on track.
27'sDad, You accomplished what you set out to do without having to "push" --- at least from your perspective. What if your son had said (as he previously did) that he was going to skip early morning practice during basketball? Why didn't you say "That's your call son" and let it be? I think BHD summed up a lot of parents unexpressed feelings when he said:
Pushing is viewed quite differently depending if you are the "pushee" or the "pusher". The bold portion of that statement tells me that BHD's son understood that BHD WOULD interfere if his did NOT do well in sports.
I wouldn't classify the following statement is being "pushey" but it does establish an understanding.
My father established our relationship when I was seven years old. He looked at me and said, "You know, I brought you in this world, and I can take you out. And it don't make no difference to me, I'll make another one look just like you."
Bill Cosby
quote:My son, a SR in college never needed to be pushed. He always was self motivated in sports and academics.
I also used to ask every spring if he wanted to play BB. There was an understanding that if he did well in both we would never interfere.
Pushing is viewed quite differently depending if you are the "pushee" or the "pusher". The bold portion of that statement tells me that BHD's son understood that BHD WOULD interfere if his did NOT do well in sports.
I wouldn't classify the following statement is being "pushey" but it does establish an understanding.
My father established our relationship when I was seven years old. He looked at me and said, "You know, I brought you in this world, and I can take you out. And it don't make no difference to me, I'll make another one look just like you."
Bill Cosby
Fungo,
Fortunately, for me, I was let off the hook. I actually agree with my son regarding the busy schedule: he needs more time for the books rather than early morning baseball. However, he is a freshman who is currently on the HC's radar for Soph/JV squads. Showing his committment to the baseball program, even if it's just one out of the 2 days a week, is what a "serious" player is supposed to do. Like I posted, if after talking with the Soph and HC, and getting their buy-in to missing some of the early practices because of the basketball schedule, he misses them...it's all good.
I have to look at it from his perspective as well as from a coach's perspective. The coach doesn't know him very well...yet. He knows of him, and has watched some of his games last fall, but that's not the same as 27 having been one of his players for any length of time. The coach could easily read into the missed practices as, "would-be 'stud' who doesn't feel the need to show up yet", or "kid has a full plate already". I would rather 27 talk to the coach on the front end, make the practices he can make, and show the coach he's serious. (The HC has had several players who were studs on the varsity basketball team, he understands the schedule and the demands.) Then, if 27 wants to blow off the early mornings...more power to him.
That's the long-winded version anyway
quote:What if your son had said (as he previously did) that he was going to skip early morning practice during basketball? Why didn't you say "That's your call son" and let it be?
Fortunately, for me, I was let off the hook. I actually agree with my son regarding the busy schedule: he needs more time for the books rather than early morning baseball. However, he is a freshman who is currently on the HC's radar for Soph/JV squads. Showing his committment to the baseball program, even if it's just one out of the 2 days a week, is what a "serious" player is supposed to do. Like I posted, if after talking with the Soph and HC, and getting their buy-in to missing some of the early practices because of the basketball schedule, he misses them...it's all good.
I have to look at it from his perspective as well as from a coach's perspective. The coach doesn't know him very well...yet. He knows of him, and has watched some of his games last fall, but that's not the same as 27 having been one of his players for any length of time. The coach could easily read into the missed practices as, "would-be 'stud' who doesn't feel the need to show up yet", or "kid has a full plate already". I would rather 27 talk to the coach on the front end, make the practices he can make, and show the coach he's serious. (The HC has had several players who were studs on the varsity basketball team, he understands the schedule and the demands.) Then, if 27 wants to blow off the early mornings...more power to him.
That's the long-winded version anyway
Thanks for the positive remarks and the welcome PG and rz1! To answer your question PG, the kid is the ultimate decision maker in the whole operation. People cannot be lead, taken, nor guided anywhere they ultimately do not want to go. Anyone who believes they can "force" (aka cajole, nudge, assist...etc) their child to do anything is only deluding themselves, hurting their relationship and ultimately creating resistance between themselves and the child. My belief, which comes from 20+ years working with the most difficult population of people imaginable, is that each individual must do what they are best at. The reality here, which is also a common thread throughout the other postings, and also, I believe to be the most compelling attribute coaches look for in a player/prospect is that the player who truly loves the game will do whatever it takes to achieve success. They will spend the time, energy, and effort it takes to become great to whatever level their talent will take them. Pushing a kid to engage in something they are not truly committed to will only result in disaster for both the pusher and the pushee.
quote:People cannot be lead, taken, nor guided anywhere they ultimately do not want to go.
Could I read into it, that a parent accused of "pushing" may actually only be a pawn "along for the ride" and the "push" is a really a tool the kid uses as motivation.
I feel so used.
but in a weird way there may some truth to that notion
This could be one of those topics where everyone is right to some degree.
Not sure we can properly describe “pushing”, in this case.
There are examples of “pushing” someone in a direction that that young person resists. Then there are very good reasons to “push” someone… Towards better academics or behavior… Things that are very important to most everyone, whether they want it or not.
It could also be said that some young people “want” to be pushed to be the best they can at something they love. To me, if we’re talking about something like baseball or other similar activities, pushing only works if the young person wants to be pushed. If the pushing in those situations is based on what the “pusher” wants, it might work for awhile, but sooner or later the desire and love of the game will take over… If it’s not there, there is a limit. That limit can be different based on things like the amount of talent, but as everyone always says, talent can only take a person so far. It takes more than talent, to come close to reaching your potential. IMO no one ever realizes their “full” potential, because that is always an unknown.
So IMO, when it comes to sports anyway “pushing” someone who really wants to be “pushed”, could be a positive thing, while “pushing” someone based on what the “pusher” wants will only go so far… They are two completely different things.
Personally, I had one rule when it came to sports, I don’t care if you play (name the sport) but if you start the season you will finish the season! Then if you don’t want to do it again next year, that’s fine. I would make lots of comments, some not so nice, after watching them play. The more talent and love they showed for something the more critical I got. If they didn’t play the game the right way, they heard about it loud and clear. This only happened when I knew they loved what they were doing.
After all that, must admit, I have no idea what is going to work best for any individual. We’re all different! From experience, when it comes to sports, I do tend to agree to a certain extent with what J23 posted.
Of course, we all know that people have been forced into going to places they don't want to go.
God bless our troups!
Not sure we can properly describe “pushing”, in this case.
There are examples of “pushing” someone in a direction that that young person resists. Then there are very good reasons to “push” someone… Towards better academics or behavior… Things that are very important to most everyone, whether they want it or not.
It could also be said that some young people “want” to be pushed to be the best they can at something they love. To me, if we’re talking about something like baseball or other similar activities, pushing only works if the young person wants to be pushed. If the pushing in those situations is based on what the “pusher” wants, it might work for awhile, but sooner or later the desire and love of the game will take over… If it’s not there, there is a limit. That limit can be different based on things like the amount of talent, but as everyone always says, talent can only take a person so far. It takes more than talent, to come close to reaching your potential. IMO no one ever realizes their “full” potential, because that is always an unknown.
So IMO, when it comes to sports anyway “pushing” someone who really wants to be “pushed”, could be a positive thing, while “pushing” someone based on what the “pusher” wants will only go so far… They are two completely different things.
Personally, I had one rule when it came to sports, I don’t care if you play (name the sport) but if you start the season you will finish the season! Then if you don’t want to do it again next year, that’s fine. I would make lots of comments, some not so nice, after watching them play. The more talent and love they showed for something the more critical I got. If they didn’t play the game the right way, they heard about it loud and clear. This only happened when I knew they loved what they were doing.
After all that, must admit, I have no idea what is going to work best for any individual. We’re all different! From experience, when it comes to sports, I do tend to agree to a certain extent with what J23 posted.
quote:the kid is the ultimate decision maker in the whole operation. People cannot be lead, taken, nor guided anywhere they ultimately do not want to go.
Of course, we all know that people have been forced into going to places they don't want to go.
God bless our troups!
I really think it all depends on the individual. What physical age? What emotional age? There are some things that kids will not learn until they experience it. Unfortunately, in HS sports and acedemically, by the time they realize it, it may be too late. If you let a kid get away with poor or mediocre grades, he may not learn his lesson until he can't get into the school he wants to go to. By then, it's too late. I could be a life altering lesson. Pushing in these terms is not necessarily a bad thing.
Sports wise, it could be similar. My son is a very good player and has always been the best on his teams. He has tryouts for the HS team coming up. The vast majority of the time, he is willing to do what he needs to prepare for this. Sometimes, he needs reminders, or a little "push" from me. My feeling is that he thinks he can just walk in and be the "stud" again. He is not thinking down the road. He is not totally understanding that he will be competing against kids that are 3-4 years older than him and he may not be the best player out there at this time.
As a freshman, he does have the time to learn this lesson over the next four years and pick things up, but for now, he still needs some nudging. More so with the school work.
I think the key is to work with them and "nudge/push" them without it causing them to get resentful and loose their interest for the game. I think it is our job as parents to help our kids learn lessons and do what they need to do to be successful. Sometimes that means laying off. Sometimes that means pushing.
Sports wise, it could be similar. My son is a very good player and has always been the best on his teams. He has tryouts for the HS team coming up. The vast majority of the time, he is willing to do what he needs to prepare for this. Sometimes, he needs reminders, or a little "push" from me. My feeling is that he thinks he can just walk in and be the "stud" again. He is not thinking down the road. He is not totally understanding that he will be competing against kids that are 3-4 years older than him and he may not be the best player out there at this time.
As a freshman, he does have the time to learn this lesson over the next four years and pick things up, but for now, he still needs some nudging. More so with the school work.
I think the key is to work with them and "nudge/push" them without it causing them to get resentful and loose their interest for the game. I think it is our job as parents to help our kids learn lessons and do what they need to do to be successful. Sometimes that means laying off. Sometimes that means pushing.
.
"To Push or not to push that is the question..."
Well, No, maybe it isn't. Maybe the real questions are more complex. Maybe the real questions are these: How much of their own lives do you give them? At what point do you step in? What are the triggers? What is the threshhold? And why? Their issues or Yours? Problem being that there are no hard and fast answers. There is no science, only art.
Perhaps the biggest pitfall is communication. It can be argued that every time we "push" hard we risk a communication breakdown. Yea, maybe we make our point, yea, maybe we get it done FOR them, but if it entails/creates a REGULAR breakdown of communication you have an issue much bigger than the activity itself. You have won the battle and lost the war. Maybe it is in this way that the player PG mentioned can honestly wake up 15 years later and realize that he was playing for his parents and not for himself. Life is much bigger than sport, you need to keep in touch with them on ALL their issues, not let sport break down the relationship. Have seen scores of kids who are gloriously winning the athletic war and losing the life war just as gloriously at the same time....and as long as they achive no one cares about the "rest" of them...and down the road they often explode just as gloriously. Whose fault Player? Or Pusher?
Am not saying that we don't push, that we shouldn't push, but am saying that we better darned well pick our battles pretty carefully. Constant nagging, running their sporting lives, might create a "fine athletic product" but it might not be the most effective way to create a fine human being, and IMO better human beings through sport is the real goal. Sports is but a means to an end, not an end of itself. While I am all about teaching through sport, Winning the kid, and losing the sport may just be a fine trade.
The older I get the more I value "the team." If I were to do it over again, I'd "push" less and I'd emphasise team a great deal more. In order for them to fly they must have the confidence that they have the team behind them, they must feel the responsibility that the team got them there, the sacrifices that were made, the responsibility that they carry, and they must know that the team is there waiting to catch them if they fall...unconditionally...even if that means out of sport.
Maybe learning to work as a team, with all members working together for a common purpose/goal, all members having a say, everyone with everyones back so to speak, is a solution. In order to do this all must be fully functioning members of the team, all must communicate, all must buy into the team. This really takes really getting inside their souls, listening, knowing them, building trust, really letting them know that you want to know what makes them tick beyond sport, what they value and want, and with real empathy as to what they are capable of and not capable of as chilldren and in the condition of "temporary insanity" that serves for the teenage years. And yes, as a team player you have to let them make decisions, and you have to let them FAIL, even if this is a team failure, one that reflects on you. Pain builds both experience and desire to look for answers. Key components to success.
In the process of letting them know that you're a great teammate, one they can open up to and confide in you build trust. With this trust you talk all the way around issues, help them look at them from all sides sides they may have not seen beofre, let them know that every decision comes with a price and a cost. They don't need to be pushed, as much as they need to be educated, not simply about work ethic, but about opportunity cost, and responsibility to the team, and values and what our team stands for. What we are about. And what sacrifices brought us here, and what prices we have paid, and what we expect in return. Educated kids generally make better decisions. You get them educated through communication.
That being said there is a parental bottom/base line and they need to know clearly what and where it is. The problem for us is where to set the bar. Set that parental involvement and "push" bar too high and you run their lives and take away their sense of control. Set it too low and they drift. Commmunicate, educate, listen and build a team...and maybe they set their own bar.
44
.
"To Push or not to push that is the question..."
Well, No, maybe it isn't. Maybe the real questions are more complex. Maybe the real questions are these: How much of their own lives do you give them? At what point do you step in? What are the triggers? What is the threshhold? And why? Their issues or Yours? Problem being that there are no hard and fast answers. There is no science, only art.
Perhaps the biggest pitfall is communication. It can be argued that every time we "push" hard we risk a communication breakdown. Yea, maybe we make our point, yea, maybe we get it done FOR them, but if it entails/creates a REGULAR breakdown of communication you have an issue much bigger than the activity itself. You have won the battle and lost the war. Maybe it is in this way that the player PG mentioned can honestly wake up 15 years later and realize that he was playing for his parents and not for himself. Life is much bigger than sport, you need to keep in touch with them on ALL their issues, not let sport break down the relationship. Have seen scores of kids who are gloriously winning the athletic war and losing the life war just as gloriously at the same time....and as long as they achive no one cares about the "rest" of them...and down the road they often explode just as gloriously. Whose fault Player? Or Pusher?
Am not saying that we don't push, that we shouldn't push, but am saying that we better darned well pick our battles pretty carefully. Constant nagging, running their sporting lives, might create a "fine athletic product" but it might not be the most effective way to create a fine human being, and IMO better human beings through sport is the real goal. Sports is but a means to an end, not an end of itself. While I am all about teaching through sport, Winning the kid, and losing the sport may just be a fine trade.
The older I get the more I value "the team." If I were to do it over again, I'd "push" less and I'd emphasise team a great deal more. In order for them to fly they must have the confidence that they have the team behind them, they must feel the responsibility that the team got them there, the sacrifices that were made, the responsibility that they carry, and they must know that the team is there waiting to catch them if they fall...unconditionally...even if that means out of sport.
Maybe learning to work as a team, with all members working together for a common purpose/goal, all members having a say, everyone with everyones back so to speak, is a solution. In order to do this all must be fully functioning members of the team, all must communicate, all must buy into the team. This really takes really getting inside their souls, listening, knowing them, building trust, really letting them know that you want to know what makes them tick beyond sport, what they value and want, and with real empathy as to what they are capable of and not capable of as chilldren and in the condition of "temporary insanity" that serves for the teenage years. And yes, as a team player you have to let them make decisions, and you have to let them FAIL, even if this is a team failure, one that reflects on you. Pain builds both experience and desire to look for answers. Key components to success.
In the process of letting them know that you're a great teammate, one they can open up to and confide in you build trust. With this trust you talk all the way around issues, help them look at them from all sides sides they may have not seen beofre, let them know that every decision comes with a price and a cost. They don't need to be pushed, as much as they need to be educated, not simply about work ethic, but about opportunity cost, and responsibility to the team, and values and what our team stands for. What we are about. And what sacrifices brought us here, and what prices we have paid, and what we expect in return. Educated kids generally make better decisions. You get them educated through communication.
That being said there is a parental bottom/base line and they need to know clearly what and where it is. The problem for us is where to set the bar. Set that parental involvement and "push" bar too high and you run their lives and take away their sense of control. Set it too low and they drift. Commmunicate, educate, listen and build a team...and maybe they set their own bar.
44.
lots of great thoughts here. So does this mean I should or should not nag the boy about wearing his retainer? ;-)
Well, not if you want him to have straight teeth! Let him wear it when he wants to, let him decide how much he likes it... School is VERY important as most kids will never get payed to play. So I would say this is much more important than how we handle baseball practice. Let the kids decide how much home work they want to do. Don't push or they'll resent you and hate school work. If they FEEL like doing school work then be there for them. 
ob44 - where do you come up with this stuff?
Why don't you wait next time until you have something to say? (sarcasim off)
Seriously, classic post. You have a gift for ideas and words
PS - J23 welcome to the hsbbweb. Very interesting thoughts as well!!
Why don't you wait next time until you have something to say? (sarcasim off)
Seriously, classic post. You have a gift for ideas and words
PS - J23 welcome to the hsbbweb. Very interesting thoughts as well!!
quote:Seriously, classic post. You have a gift for ideas and words
Thanks for the notation Cleveland Dad... I am very impressed by some of the postings. It is obvious to me that there are several "posters" to have great insight into the lives we humans lead. The messages with meaning work for all ages and for all relationships. To "push" or "not to push" comes up frequently in our lives, and as earlier noted by Observer: "Life is much bigger than sport." I agree with him that the ultimate in to "push or not push" is your level of communication. Too add to that, I believe we must be aware that the process is and should be dynamic, allowing for the ebb and flow and hopefully growth that occurs from the communication to enhance both performance on the field and in the relationships both you and they have with each other, their teammates, and the coaches. NOw all we have to do is get this message out to others and not just BS with each other in this blog! GO TEAM!
Through 9th grade there was never an issue about "pushing" or "guiding" he wanted to play some sport all the time and I was one of the several teammates/opponents.
After 9th grade it was different, because even when he was working on a sport, he did not necessarily want me to be a participant. I had to adjust to the fact that I had to get my exercise with guys my own age, and had to learn to trust that his approach to sports was the right "fit" for him.
I soon learned that when I said the word "should" as in "You should long-toss today", I would be met with a less than enthusiastice reponse. If I said, "Do you want to play catch" I had a much better chance of 'guiding" him to practice.
I have found that letting him tell me about his workout schedules results in more information than when I ask what he is doing to stay in shape.
I agree with ob44, it is in the communication. Now that he is off at college, I have found text messaging a great way to stay in touch and to find out about his life: school, social and baseball.
After 9th grade it was different, because even when he was working on a sport, he did not necessarily want me to be a participant. I had to adjust to the fact that I had to get my exercise with guys my own age, and had to learn to trust that his approach to sports was the right "fit" for him.
I soon learned that when I said the word "should" as in "You should long-toss today", I would be met with a less than enthusiastice reponse. If I said, "Do you want to play catch" I had a much better chance of 'guiding" him to practice.
I have found that letting him tell me about his workout schedules results in more information than when I ask what he is doing to stay in shape.
I agree with ob44, it is in the communication. Now that he is off at college, I have found text messaging a great way to stay in touch and to find out about his life: school, social and baseball.
J23 said,
My kids would have no idea what you are talking about....and neither do I. This is just a bunch of useless mumbo jumbo. Could you please site the source of this gobbledygook...or are they your original thoughts?
quote:Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our "light", not our "darkness" that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, talented, or have incredible skills. When the real question should be...who are we not to be all we can be? Playing your role in life "small" doesn't help the world, in fact, it is a disservice!
We can't be all things to all people, however, we must believe in who and what we are, then play it to its (your) full potential! When we let their (or our) light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to let their "light" do the same. As they are liberated from their fears, their mere presence liberates others.
S0......give your children "permission" to be as great as they can possibly be. Holding back only deprives others the opportunity to be the best they can be! Dare to believe....they are a once-in-all-history event, not only is it your right to be the best you can be, it is your duty to the rest of humanity. A gift to cherish, not hide......
My kids would have no idea what you are talking about....and neither do I. This is just a bunch of useless mumbo jumbo. Could you please site the source of this gobbledygook...or are they your original thoughts?
PA Dino,
Here is the original prose by Marianne Williamson in her book Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles. (1992)
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
Here is the original prose by Marianne Williamson in her book Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles. (1992)
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
AHhhh! Church of Unity......that's why I didn't understand it. My apologies if you were offended...but not my cup of tea.
PA Dino,
I am not offended by your post; in fact of the 12 sentences in the quotation, I disagree with 8.
I am irritated by an unfortunate side-effect of the Internet-- the distortion of an original idea as it is repeated, without (or incorrect) attribution, and frequently "improved" by paraphrasing in the re-posting. While I don't agree with Williamson, I do think the quotation is well written, and I believe I understand her sentiment. By the time it arrived in this thread, it had lost some clarity and force. Ther was also some confusion over just whose sentiment it was.
That's why I posted the original.
I am not offended by your post; in fact of the 12 sentences in the quotation, I disagree with 8.
I am irritated by an unfortunate side-effect of the Internet-- the distortion of an original idea as it is repeated, without (or incorrect) attribution, and frequently "improved" by paraphrasing in the re-posting. While I don't agree with Williamson, I do think the quotation is well written, and I believe I understand her sentiment. By the time it arrived in this thread, it had lost some clarity and force. Ther was also some confusion over just whose sentiment it was.
That's why I posted the original.
Well and truly put 3FG!. The re-posting of material often gets a bit lost in the translation. Additionally, as PA Dino illustrates, each of us are diffeent in our opinions of what is or is not important. I liked the sentiment, for me taken from Maya Angelou. Nt sure who the origional author is, really doesn't matter, we aren't paying them anything other than respect for their thoughts. The "interpretation" is mine, sent out only to say that we must encourage others to be all they can be (U.S. Army...et al...) and that when whe are not, we lessen the experience for all (in my humble opinion).