Kid Teaches Dad A Lesson

I am married. I don't have that problem!.

In this case words are better than action (benched/cut). The brutal honesty is better for emphasis and it infers a sense of urgency to remedy.

During my son's days in youth basketball and baseball, we would talk about what he liked about each sport, and which coaches were his favorites. One year, I asked "who's your favorite coach?" and he told me he really liked his basketball coach, but. . .

"But what?" I asked.

"He's so nice, I never know what I need to improve," he said.

When my son was about 16, his travel team coach (for whom I had and continue to have a great deal of respect) read him the riot act on the mound for grooving a fastball with an 0-2 count. The part I recall verbatim went, "What are you trying to do, throw the game!?"

Knowing my son to be the most competitive and team-oriented person I'd ever known, I reacted negatively to what he said; and I came within a gnat's eyelash of violating my rule against speaking to coaches. However, my son asked that I not take it up with him after the game; and I honored his request.

Today, I'm so grateful that I sought and took my son's counsel. Not only did it validate my long-standing conviction that my son's playing issues were to be handled between him and his coaches; but, I also believe that the incident helped impart the toughness he'd need dozens of times as he climbed the competitive ladder, afterwards.

P.S. That travel team coach was none other than Mike Shildt, current Manager of the St. Louis Cardinals.

My son’s first year of varsity, soph year the coach humiliated him in front of the entire team and the JV team on the bus on the way to the game. I was steamed. I said some things at the game I shouldn’t have said with the intent some back stabbing parent would take it back to the coach (they did). I suggested due to divorce I couldn’t afford to live where I am and should move one town over (rival high school). I should have kept my mouth shut.

A couple of days later my son told me to grow up. He said if he’s over it I should be. He told me he had a talk with the coach. The coach told him I got a pass for heat of the moment brain lock.

The coach wasn’t a good communicator. He was a very good coach otherwise. There were issues with players and parents all the time my son was in high school. I don’t believe he ever grasped he humiliated my son. But my son was strong enough to handle it.

You have to love them so much your willing to hurt them to help them.

I asked a young man the following question. "When you pull up to the gas pump and you need some gas, what is more important?"

#1- You feel like you deserve gas?

#2- You feel like you should be able to get some gas?

#3- You feel desperate because you know you need gas?

#4- You have money to buy gas?

Your feelings will not buy you some gas. Your feelings will not buy you grocery. Your feelings will not make you a better player. Your feelings will not get you in the line up.

If a coach is not willing or capable of telling players what they need to hear but instead tells them what they think the player wants to hear, he is wrong and needs to move along.