Taken from a reliable news source....
DALLAS As I'm sure most know the Dallas Cowboys will be closing down Texan Stadium and it's unique hole in the roof to move to a brand new, state of the art complex next season. In a scheduling snafu the Cowboys will be playing their final game at Texan Stadium earlier than what people first thought. The last game played will be Sunday October fifth 2008 when they host the Cincinatti Bengals and the rest of the season will be played on the road.
The problem comes from the fact there is no way in the world one building will be able to contain the massive egos of Cowboys star receiver Terrell Owens and Bengals star receiver Chad Johnson. In the past few years this duo of talented receivers have, not only scored touchdowns, but also been the center of a lot of unnecessary turmoil. Owens himself is responsible for putting the Philadelphia Eagles into a funk after his short tenure with the team. Johnson has seen his team find less success than Owens' teams but it has yet to stop the media from coming to the Cincy area to discover what craziness he is going to do next.
Officials have stated that the hole in the roof of Texan Stadium has been slowing growing in size since the mid 1990's when the Cowboys suited up Deion Sanders. The hole actually started to recover on it's own until the Cowboys brought in Owens and it's been growing at an exponential rate ever since then. Architects are 99% certain that the stadium has no chance of withstanding the egoslaught that will be taking place on Sunday. Rescue teams will be stationed outside in case spectators might be hit with any stray egotism that will be flying from the field.
In case anyone hasn't figured out yet - I made all of this up.
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