Let kids be kids and enjoy them!

Most of my buckets have cracks in them from the kids playing basketball with the baseballs. Matter of fact I am sure some of those cracks are from me. Couldn't agree with you more.   

While I agree with the sentiment I have to disagree with some of the advice.

Tossing balls into the bucket breaks the bucket. Unless you plan on buying the coach a new one please tell your children to not do this.

Again unless your the one that's going to be on the field fixing it the day after a rain out please keep your kids off the infield when it's wet.

Last although some times it's just two friends messing with each other the majority of ball cap keep away I have ever seen is two kids picking on another one. That's bullying and shouldn't be encouraged.

The rest of the stuff sure. Kids games should be treated as kids games not life altering events.

Not just below high school. I know it may be sacrilege to say so around here, but even kids in high school need to be able to take a break every once in a while.

 

 

Sorry for the loss but how is this relevant to the rest of your post? 

If kids pick on one kid in the group but everyone walks away laughing it's not bullying. My son told me by today's bullying rules everyone one of his group would have been thrown out of middle and high school. Everyone got their turn as a target. Some kids by their nature were better targets (more often) than others. He said they didn't exclude the girls either.mif they did something stupid they were targets as well. The kids all considered the,selves equal opportunity offenders.

 

i believe a reason some kids can't handle teasing is schools now try to hand over self esteem rather than develop it. Telling someone they're wonderful when they are failing doesn't build self esteem in that person.

 

Thanks for the post, CaCo3Girl.  I totally agree.  And I totally get the correlation. 

 

Varsity HS... on occasion, we'll finish an OF session with bucket basketball competition.  If a bucket breaks, I'll kick in the $8 for a replacement.  We still occasionally play ultimate Frisbee for conditioning in the winter.  Kids do need to be kids.  Even the big ones.  Even the older big ones.

 

Condolences to the man's family and all those who knew him.

My son plays college ball.  His coach has been a coach at this school for 17 years and has been a head coach for 22 years.  The team has basically been the same team for the last two years.  Both of the last two years, coach said that this was his favorite team as a coach.  The reason?  They were the funnest team he has ever coached.  The kids all got along, they picked on each other, they picked each other up, they went to parties together, they played beach volleyball together, they had fun.  They are pretty relentless with each other.  God forbid one of them does something stupid.  He will be crucified by the other guys.  You better have a thick skin.  Lol.  But, pity the guy not on the team that does something to one of them.  It will be 35 on 1.  A battle the outsider will never win.

I agree CaCO3Girl.  Let the kids have fun.  Why else are they doing what they are doing?  If it isn't fun, they won't be doing it very long.

As anyone progresses through their life situations demand more responsibility. In the moment bad things can happen. But in the big picture never stop having fun. Life got a lot happier when I realized while I've been knocked down, I've never been knocked out. Keep in mind I nearly died two years ago. Once I realized I've survived every negative in my life I got a lot more relaxed. I developed an attitude if I do what needs to be done, this will pass.

I have witnessed grown adults stressing out about how their 10 year old can't have a sleep over because he has a game tomorrow at noon so he has to sleep in his own bed so he will be "game ready".  I have heard the coach of a 9 year old team say "Yes, I know we are in Panama City Beach, but please don't let your kids go out on the beach until after the 4 o'clock game".  I have seen parents tell their 12 year old "You are not taking baseball seriously by stealing so and so's hat".

 

While I don't know where this kind man's head was at near the end (And he was one of the gentlest souls I have ever known) I do know that us parents/coaches of YOUNG KIDS need to chill out and not stress about a kid being a kid.

While I understand that kids need to be kids and have fun, playing a kids game on a good competitive team is, in fact, fun.  When they choose to join that team, they make a commitment.  I am not sure about your kid, but when mine has "sleep" overs not much sleep takes place.  Does he really want to let his team down because he is too tired out in the field, looses focus, and commits multiple errors?  There are plenty of non-game nights to have sleep overs. 

 

 

 

Golf, OP is talking about 9-12 y.o's.  Yes, certainly, a great deal of the "fun" should be the enjoyment of playing competitive baseball.  And, absolutely, even at young ages, you learn about commitment by fulfilling your obligation of being there when you are supposed to.  But the truth is that a whole lot of the fun at that age is and should be all the other stuff as well.  So what if they went to the beach and were a little tired so they didn't win the bronze bracket of their tourney?  This point is really at the core of the message that needs to be sent to parents of young players taking things too seriously at those ages.

I sure wish I went into those ages with my kids a little better informed with a bit more slant in that direction. 

Is he worried he will let his team down - or are mommy and daddy worried he will let the team down?

 

That's the problem.

There were many times during our 12u season that the entire team would end up sleeping on my living room floor the night before a game. It was nothing to awaken on a Saturday morning to see 12 kids draped over each other under blankets in front of a tv. Yeah, they missed sleep, but at 12, they recovered quickly enough.

Exactly! As for non-game nights for sleepovers being plentiful....um....where?  I can only speak for my neck of the woods but I would say it's very common for a team to play 6-8 tourneys in the fall, and 15+ in the Spring.  That is almost half the weekends in a year!  Now take out all the weekends that are associated with holidays, family events, vacations...etc...and there can't be sleepovers M-F during school, so basically people are limiting 9 year olds to possibly 5-10 sleepover opportunities a year, and that is only if your friends family can possibly invite you on that specific weekend you are free, or if your parents are willing to take a non-baseball weekend and allow a sleepover at your place.

 

*SIGH* all I'm saying is part of being a kid is doing kid things....even while the kid is involved in baseball they should be doing kid things.  Some parents are so worried that little Johnny won't be at peak performance level due to going to bed past 10pm, or sleeping on the floor at a friends house, or his arms might be too tired to swing a bat effectively at age NINE...these are just ridiculous things to think about or be concerned with and we should all take a deep breath and let kids be kids.  Did Johnny miss the double play because he had a sleep over...don't know...maybe he missed the double play because he's 10!??!?!!?

Let the kids be kids playing 23+ tournaments a year.  Got it.  

You are missing the point. There is so much more to youth baseball than just the games and competing. There is no reason why they can't have fun while doing it, especially for pre-pub kids. What they do now has little bearing on what they do once they hit puberty so why not let them enjoy instead of putting unnecessary pressure on them.

I agree, you go girl!!!

Sorry for the loss of your friend, sometimes the loss of someone hits us hard but makes us realize how important the little things are.

No.  I get the point entirely.  If they are youth kids, then why are they playing 20+ tournaments a year?  That seems way over the top to me.  No wonder why the kids don't have time to sleep over or go to parties.  

 

Part of team sports is to learn commitment and priorities, especially at the travel ball level.  It isn't about the parents worried that a kid would let the team down.  You can't fool the kids.  They know. 

 

I guess I don't really get the logic or point of the OP either.  Let kids be kids and don't heap pressure on them? Absolutely. But each item in the list of ad hoc advice in the OP is off the mark IMO.

 

-Let your kids have sleep overs the night before a game

Or simply schedule sleepovers on non game nights and get more out of the games... And the sleepovers. 

-Let your kids swim the day of a game

Again, why not just swim after games? The point of playing is to get reps, compete... ie be at your best.

-Let your kids skip a practice if they have been invited to a party.

Let your kids learn to honor their commitments.

-Let your kids play AA baseball instead of Major baseball

How about sign your kids up for whatever level is appropriate to their individual skill level in a given season?

-Let your kids throw arcing balls back into the ball bucket like it’s a basketball hoop

As mentioned by others, this wears out ball buckets... Not to mention wastes practice time.  Respect the equipment, respect the game, respect the Coach and the team's time.  Shoot hoops when you get home.

-Let your kids take other kids hats and play a game of keep away.

More jacking around... harmless enough, but this times 10-12 boys equals a quick 10+ minutes of an hour or two practice out the window.  I guess I just don't see baseball time as social hour.

-Let your kids run around the bases and slide into home after a rain out

As mentioned above, not the way to handle a muddy field.

-Let your kids go to the beach if you are at a beach tournament, even on game day.

I would encourage families of young players to generally think twice about spending big bucks to travel for tourneys.  But if committing the money and time to do so... I think I would get the most out of the baseball experience.  Otherwise, why not just go do a beach vacation if that's the desire?

-Let your kids be kids

Definitely as it should be.  But what's wrong with letting your ballplayer be a ballplayer, too? There's a time and a place for everything.

 

I dunno... I just don't get the reason nor reasoning for this thread I guess. But to each their own of course.

Yes, youth TB is SO important. If the kid loves the game when he gets older the commitment will be there. I know so many kids that were raised on this philosophy and are now out of the game either because they got burnt out or just were not enjoying the experience. The OP is right, parents need to take a step back and look at what youth baseball really is. It's a game for the kids to enjoy and have fun instead of having them make choices on having fun versus being 100% game ready for a youth baseball game. 

The point is parents take this stuff wat too seriously. Commitment will come if the desire is there, not because you made a kid take it all so serious at a young age.  BTW my son a Junior in HS after around of BP we both play around and shoot baseballs into the bucket because it is fun. Trust me he is committed to and respects the game.

The only point I disagree with is missing practice. Everything else is spot on. We, like many families made baseball tournaments our family vacation. We couldn't afford both. Let them have fun while they are there. Let the kids be kids.

I get it... believe me.  Parents go overboard and that's a common problem for sure.  I've certainly been guilty of that at times over the years.  I would just question the approach offered via the various advice above.  There's a right way to do things... and part of learning a sport is learning these things.  Again, JMO.

Fair enough, I bet I am better at baseball bucket hoops then you!

I am at a total loss as to how this particular thread could become contentious.

After looking up the word contentious, I agree. 

Apparently there are VERY strong feelings on the misuse of buckets

 

It is what it is, people have views on how to approach this baseball journey, even with young kids.  Only time will tell on who was right and who has regrets.

 

 

The thing that I truly don't get is how are you guys breaking buckets while shooting hoops?  I mean I've never seen a bucket break from a 25 feet jump shot with a baseball.  Do you guys even know how to shoot a proper baseketball ball shot?  BTW I got some killer post moves with my back to the bucket.

When you are shooting bricks, it can be tough on the plastic

Hoping I'm not included under the "contentious" umbrella... or is any dissenting viewpoint taken as an affront?

 

My reason for responding didn't have anything to do with longevity of buckets... Moreso to do with teaching young men about focus, respect and doing things right.  I mean... What are we really talking about here?  A family man apparently takes his own life... this was related to youth baseball in some way?  And as a result of this tragic event, here are several questionable baseball tenants to live by henceforth... Take your player out of competitive level ball, skip practices, do whatever you feel like when choosing to attend practice, etc.  Hmm... Good luck with all that!

Thanks for this

 

I'm with you. When confronted with inexplicable loss, we look for any lesson we can tease from the void. I get that. But I do not get the connection between this man's suicide and the best practices in running a 12u baseball team.

 

We don't know why this man did what he did.  Depression? Marriage and/or financial issues?  We don't know so we shouldn't judge, though personally I confess a predisposition to label him as a selfish man for leaving behind at least one boy who will be haunted by this  for the rest of his life.  And running the gas tank empty sure sounds like the action of a man who didn't care too much for whoever has to clean up his mess. 

 

I don't know. If anything I see an argument for teaching kids to take care of their own business and not leaving it for somebody else to clean up.  A good baseball program does that.   I think it would also give me one reason to keep going if ever I felt as bad as this guy must have felt.

Lol, We are a perennial top 10 team in our area and every year when I see our team struggling we have a pool day and every year it works, and every years you should see the dirty looks I get.

Not at all what she was saying, IMO.  Find some balance.  Particularly when they are quite young, let them be the kids that they are.  Stop and smell the roses.  Don't be in a hurry to race to the end. Enjoy life every day and don't let it become always overly stressful and goal-oriented, particularly with young kids.  You never know when a given day can be the last. Seek out all the moments of pure joy to share with your kids along the journey.  At least that's what I thought her message was. 

 

There are other times and other thread topics when supporting the virtues of commitment and touting the benefits of higher level competition are in order.  Other threads when we can discuss responsible care of team equipment.  This is not that thread, or at least it's intended message. 

 

 

I think the general sentiment of this post is more solid than anything I have heard.  I think it is extremely important for the kids to have fun, if they don't, they won't be around long.  But there seems to be some differing opinions on this, so I thought I'd dissect it a little.  

 

Let's separate this out here.  We have several areas of baseball/being a kid we are talking about.  

 

You have the situation in which a team goes on an out of town trip.  As I stated previously, for MANY families, this is their vacation.  I think the kids should be allowed to have as much fun as they want off the field and in their free time.  

 

You have practices.  While drills are being done and practice is going on, the kids should be focused.  While they are picking up balls between hitters, I don't see it as a big deal that they throw them back into the bucket.  As long as it doesn't get completely out of control.  I understand that most teams have limited practice time.  If they want to goof around a little while they are on their water break, I think that's fine as well.

 

You have games.  While the kids are on the field, they should be focused and ready to play.  When they are in the dugout, they should be able to goof around a little bit, as long as they are focused when they get in the box or between the lines.

 

Activities while not playing baseball.  Let them be kids and do all the stuff normal kids do.  More than likely, MUCH more of their free time is taken up than a normal kid's would be.  They spend most of their weekends at the ball field.  They may spend 2 or 3 nights a week at the  ball field as well, at practice or pick up games.  They probably play in a tournament during spring break and other holidays.  If they start feeling cheated about being able to do normal kid stuff because they have baseball the next day or later that day, they will very likely become resentful.  One of the things my son still says to this day is he never had a spring break his whole life.  4 years of HS ball and 3 years of college - every spring break has been filled with baseball.  I don't think he would have had it any other way, but he knows it's there.  We tried to make sure that his free time was fun.  

 

Now I will say this.  For some kids, it is harder to turn on and off the focus.  Some kids can goof around in the dugout, flip a switch and be 100% focused on the field.  Some have a harder time doing this.  I don't think the way to deal with this is to cut out all horseplay. There needs to be a balance.  Especially for the younger kids, they need to be kids.  They need to have fun.  Their life does not need to be consumed by baseball.  If they start feeling like not only are they taking up all their weekends on the baseball field, but when they are not at games or tournaments, baseball restricts their lives as well, it could become a problem.  They will get tired of that.

 

I don't think anyone is saying that kids should goof around on the field during games, or that practices are just a chaotic jumble of goofy kids running around.  I think the point is, don't let this kids game become so serious that it ceases to be fun to do it.  Do not let it consume their lives.  At the appropriate times, let the walls down.  Teach them how to focus between the lines, but have fun outside the lines.  Let them be a kid when they are not playing.  

I agree. The post was for the youth player.  Let them be kids, they will be be adults longer than kids.

JMO

Shooting bricks? Literally? Or figuratively?

Save the buckets!!!!!!!

I agree 100% with the premis of the OP. I just diasagree with the advice given to accomplish said premis. Yes parents take youth sports way way to seriously. Yes parents project that on to their children. IMO the original pieces of wisdom, even if you agree with all of them which I don't, are just bandaid fixes. If one wants to solve the problem fix the root problem. If a kid doesn't have have free time for swimming and sleepovers. The root problem isn't a coach banning these activities on game days. It's the fact there are too many game days. The child is playing too much baseball. The problem with free time activities on a vacation while playing baseball isn't the problem. It's the baseball being played on vacation.

Bottom line you only need breaks from something your doing too much of in the first place. For a pro or college or HS with summer and fall ball on top they absolutely need some break time from the grind. A 12 year old. Why the heck are they in a grind in the first place. That's the actual problem.