This is the one, the great one you have been waiting for. Parents, you have been invited to tryout for Limom84’s 2005 Parent Showcase. Professional level scouts will be on hand to evaluate and rate your talent. If you are presently a baseball parent or hope to be one, this is the showcase for you. Our professional rating system and staff guarantee accurate results. See if you have the stuff to make it to the next level!
Our day is organized around three featured events:
The first event is the strength event. Folding chairs, blankets, umbrellas and thermoses must be carried a minimum length of one football field. Before attempting to carry any of these things, a 70-pound able-bodied six-year old playing a hand-held video game must be hoisted up onto one’s hip. Added points will be given to those able to carry him on their shoulders or piggyback style. A one-point deduction will be made for dropping anything, including the six-year old. A ten-point deduction will made for dropping the video game.
The second event is the mental agility event. Entrants will be subjected to repeated video viewings of their sons’ errors from seasons present and past. Full frontal viewing will be required as point deductions will be made for swearing, cursing, hair pulling and shutting your eyes. Those able to endure without their eyes watering, fists clenching or any unintelligible outbursts will be awarded one point. Points will be awarded for reserved displays while viewing your sons’ homeruns or striking out the side.
The third event is the speed event. Entrants will be timed on how fast they can make it to the bathroom and back to their seats. Mothers will be required to actually wait on the bathroom line before returning to their seats. Fathers will be required to use an actual restroom facility, as shortcuts will not be tolerated. Mothers may earn added points for taking any younger children with them.
Wives will be required to participate in a special fourth event. They will be given cel phones while watching their children play in a tournament. Husbands will call them at various intervals and ask the following questions:
1. What field are you at?
2. What inning is it?
3. What’s the score?
4. Did “Little Johnny” get any hits?
5. Who is pitching?
6. What is for dinner?
Those wives who correctly answer any ONE of the above questions will have serious potential to make it at the next level.
Feel free to add any other events that would prove you have what it takes to make it at the next level.
Original Post
