Mental Illness

DeeBot,
My nephew was diagnosed a few mounths ago with bipolar, and is doing better also, its day to day but seems better.

As far as the parents, talk about it with the one's who will listen. It will be great for you also to get things off of your chest, and use humor to break the ice.
Bipolar is more common than people think and chances are that they will know someone that also has this disorder.
Good Luck to your Son it sounds like he's headed in the right direction, and good luck to you. The EH

Bi-polar is more common than most think. People we don't suspect are afflected and live productive happy lives. It is at 18-20 that males seem to be diagnosed with no previous signs. I wish you the ver best in this battle

deebot,
I think that you will find that it is a lot more common than you think.
The good part is that he has been diagnosed and needs to remain on his medication and doctor visits. My daughters best freind is bi-polar, who often goes off of her medication because she thinks she doesn't need it, then it takes months to stabilize again. Your son's condition should have no bearing on his playing.

Best of luck to your son.

TPM

Jimmy Piersall comes to mind…

.

Deebot...

Would suggest you work closely with the people who run the Goodwill Games, they have an excellent reputation. This is a great contact you already have in your pocket.

Good Luck!

44

TPM - you are exactly right. One of the biggest challenges for people that have mental illness as well as other medical conditions is they feel "they're all better" and don't need the medication any longer. Then, they and their loved ones have to face all the challenges of the behaviors and regulating their medications once again.

Mental Illness is something that the world is becoming more knowledgeable about which decreases fears and ignorance in people. It's truly a better place now for people suffering, but there's a long way to go yet.

Best of luck to you and your son Deebot. I like the suggestion of having a talk with the Coach so that he fully understands what your son is battling. Education is power!

TPM & lafmom make an important point. I got to know a person diagnosed with bipolar fairly well. There was a long cycle of taking the medication, doing well then going off the medication with the ensuing problems resulting from no medication.

I'm sure the docs have already warned you about that one. But I can say from observation that it is critical.

We'll be praying for your son. Glad to hear the problem is diagnosed and being treated.

As far as the parents and coaches - what, specifically, is their problem? What are their concerns?

deebot.....sure you, your son, and family have been through a lot.....hope that baseball works out.....can't give you any advise on how to make that happen.....other than what has already been said.....communication....to coaches, and parents.....

It just seems like a good thing that you have a diagnosis, medication, and the knowledge you need to help your son.....

Best wishes......and I sincerely hope he gets to play ball......

deebot,

Thank you for sharing your son's story. It does seem that mental illness is becoming more visible and perhaps slowly, more people are understanding it. A few years ago my husband and I learned that a good friend of ours from high school, who had become very prominent in our local sports, business, and political scenes, was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

What kinds of things are the coaches and other parents doing? It sounds like they might need some education about the illness, and perhaps if you give some specifics of their behavior, some members could give helpful advice.

Best wishes to your son.

deebot,

Noticed that you mentioned your son has attended one of our events. If we can do anything to help him, please don't hesitate to contact us. pgjerry@qwest.net

I'm familiar with bipolar disorder.

I for one have never understood how anyone could look at a kid or anyone else for that matter any differently because of mental illness. Why is it any different than physical illness? Can a kid help the fact that he has a mental illness or a bad knee? Whats the difference? I'll tell you what it is, its ignorance of the facts. Its a stigma caused by ignorance. You can see and understand easily when a kid has a broken bone or a pulled muscle etc. But people see a perfectly healthy kid and don't understand mental illness. It can and is treated with medication and sometimes therapy and your son or anyone else's should not be treated or looked at any different than anyone else's. Of all people the parents and coaches should understand this and should be supporters of your son. I wish you and your son all the luck in the world.

Having been involved with youth sports for more years that I can count, I have seen the situations like this over and over from the 8 year old to the 18 year old-- so do not feel that you are alone because you are not--

Also be advised that many colleges and universities have special situations for students with "learning disorders", I much prefer this term to "mental illness", and if acknowledeged can make a difference for a young man or woman getting into college and then getting the support they need.

My son had a learning disorder, not bi-polar, but a learning disorder nonetheless and had an excellent college career both on the baseball field and in the classroom.

Since we are involved with assisting players to get into college we want to know if any such conditions exist and if on medication we want to know so that we can sort of watch over the player and make sure all goes well and that the colleges he is talking to are aware--as I noted above many college/universities have special conditions for student athletes like this.

If we can be of any assistance feel free to contact us

deebot, Been thinkin’ about this since you posted. I think you may be surprised that you are not alone with this issue. You can’t control the cold hearted ignorance of the parents. However, there are federal laws protecting your son with regards to the high school teachers and coaches. If you think you have a problem with the coaches, schedule a meeting with the athletic director of the high school to discuses your concerns. This may be a wonderful opportunity to address these issues at the school, educate, and bring some degree of sensitivity. As you may already know, control what you can. High school is tough enough. I commend your son’s courage getting back in the game and wish him nothing but success. I was not being facetious about Jimmy Piersall. Reading about how Piersall dealt with this issue at the major league level may help your son. Good Luck!

Thank you all for the support and encouragement. Smokey, I really appreciate the advice of talking to the AD however I feel compelled to speak to the coach first. If this doesn’t help, I will then address the issue with the AD. Momandcpa, I believe you are right also. Communication is a wonderful thing and by discussing this with the parents that I know I can reach, the word should spread and I would hope things will get better. It is very encouraging to know there are folks out there that are enlightened to this disease and understand that it isn’t contagious. I believe some of the folks we are dealing with are not so enlightened.

Coach May and TR Hit are right.

Been coaching for a good many years and have had ALL kinds of kids/players from different backgrounds and yes, emotional and learning disabilities. If a young man is committed to the game, and works hard, a coach should not penalize a player for having a disability. I think a one on one with the coach is a good idea as if a parent came to me, I would certainly welcome the discussion. As for the other parents, my feelings are a little different. You do not owe them an explaination for your son. They do not run the program, they are parents. If you feel comfortable in speaking to them about your personal situation, then that is something to consider. Your son has a right to privacy and if he is OK with it, then it could be a good thing. I would discuss it with him first before talking to the other parents. If the meeting with the coach does not go well, Smokey was right, go to the AD and higher in the chain if need be. Hopefully that is not necessary. The best case is a positive meeting with the coach, let him know what is going on and as responsible parents, you are on top of the situation. IMO, if you came to me in my HS program, I would do what I could to work with your son, and not draw attention to it. It is also something that IMO, would be inappropriate for me to discuss with the players. Again, I personally feel its a privacy issue. I wish you the best and as a parent myself, I remain compasionate and hope and pray everything works out for your son. I think the feedback thus far has been highly supportive so let that be a confidence builder in speaking with the coach. Good luck and keep us posted!

As in most things, education is most important. I am 59 years old and saw my very first case of bipolar disorder about two years ago. I can understand why someone not familiar with this particular condition would be totally confused if and when they see it. Chances are that most all parents and coaches have not seen or recognized someone with bipolar disorder. It is much more severe than just a learning problem. It is a very serious condition that luckily can usually be treated by medication and support.

deebot, My suggestion (FWIW) is to make teachers and coaches not only aware of the situation, but educate them... make copies of medical reports that deal with bipolar disorder. That way, they will not only understand, but will be able to detect potential reoccurences. If they are unwilling to help your son, they deserve what they get when you go to their superiors.

quote:

Originally posted by PGStaff:
deebot, My suggestion (FWIW) is to make teachers and coaches not only aware of the situation, but educate them... make copies of medical reports that deal with bipolar disorder. That way, they will not only understand, but will be able to detect potential reoccurences.

Excellent advice from PG. Too often we have vague impressions of things, that may or may not be accurate. And this could benefit others down the road.

deebot,

Kudos to your son, you and your family for recognizing and helping him get the treatment he desperately needs to be successful...many, many famous people have been diagnosed with bipolar and have led very profitable and fullfilling lives...I wish all of you the very best.

Having said that some erroneous info has been offered here...there is absolutely no correlation between Mental Illness and Learning Disabilities...they are as different as night and day...Bipolar (often known as manic depression) comes in cycles...usually treated with lithium to control the manic phase and antidepressants for the depression phase...medication is key to the success of the individual and must be taken daily for the rest of the individuals life...people can cycle slowly or rapidly through these phases and family and friends must be astute to the changes in mental status....

Learning disabilities are caused by a variety of reasons ie...poor nutrition, lead paint posioning, heredity etc...treated with medication the child has the ability to learn and become productive...many times the person has "drug holidays"...mostly on weekends or during summer vacation....unnecessary to alert any coaches, parents, etc. of the existance of the disorder...as a matter of fact, lots of people afflicted with LD are extremely successful at sports as it does not require one to sit and focus which is required in the classroom....

As far as notifying coaches...I will relate my own personal example...my son has severe asthma...as a little guy he had 12 hospitalizations...as many as 70 to 80 trips to the ER for stabilization...he played hockey as well as baseball...I would always inform a coach as to his having the disease due to his inability to run and run fast while in the recovering phase...some coaches were very understanding others perceived me as an over protective mother...even though thousands of people die each year from asthma...thus, I would attend almost all practices and all games when he was growing up just so I could monitor his health...no one will ever care as much as you do...you may find your coach to be empathetic but if not the ball is in your court to assess him...parents, that you feel close to, then by all means share what is going on....some people's reaction to what they are ignorant to is to shun the person involved...sad but true...avoid them and do not attempt to sway them...they are not worth the time or effort...again best of luck

This topic brings to mind the fact that the medications used to treat chronic conditions may appear on the NCAA's list of "banned substances." If your college-bound son takes a medication regularly, notify the college's medical officials in advance of his enrollment. If the drug is found on the list, a letter from the player's home physician will be maintained on file with the university to establish the medical need; removing any possibility of it creating a problem later.

Deebot: I'm sure that many in this community have benefitted from your having raised the issue of your son's illness. Here's wishing all of you the best as he confronts it day-to-day.

deebot - Wanted to let you know about a website I heard about this morning on Fox and Friends, morning show on Fox News Channel. The website is LearningAboutBipolar.com. Sean Astin (from the movie "Rudy" and now a star on "24"), son of Patty Duke, was on the show talking about his mother's battle with this disease. She was diagnosed in 1985 and has found great help from her medication. The website looks very helpful, especially the sections on "Tools and Resources" and "Friends and Family Can Help." Best of luck to your son and your family.
-Buzz

Thanks Buzz, I will check it out. There are many such resources available online. It would have been much more difficult to learn about and start to understand this disease without the power of the internet. Not to mention the support that is available through such sources as this forum and the knowledge of its wonderful participants. The High School Baseball WEB is the best!

deebot,

The fact that your family and son are approaching nearly a year since diagnosis with a good feel for mananging the drug therapy especially the most recent six months it is most important that you focus on normalcy with managment discipline. Here is what I mean, Don't let your son equate himself with his illness, he is not bi-polar, he manages a bi-polar disorder. CONTINUOUS responsible management of his medication will allow him to live a very healthy and industrious life. Don't let stigma create self-doubt and shame. He has a medical condition, its not his fault and there are effective treatments for it. He should feel great about himself for the tremendous person he is and not put any stock in how other people may want to define him. The bi-polar component is just that, one component of his life and one which he can successfully manage.
The biggest concern is that the stigma of being bi-polar interfers with his management. Don't allow that to happen. He is in control and can stay in control by doing the right things for himself daily. People can and will on occassion be cruel be it intentional or unintentional, but he cannot let it take him off course from his discipline of therapy. There are many people who must manage medical situations for their well being and he should be aware of some with the same condition who have achieved vast success: Newsperson, Jane Pauley, Actor, Carrie Fisher (Star Wars) and Kay Jamison Ph.D. (MacArthur Fellow- genius grant). You can find countless others, but my point is that there should be little limitations in his life with the use of good management and he should feel confident and excited to pursue his dreams. Manage the condition daily never quitting his routine and soon it will become secondary to all the other components in his life.
Because you mentioned Diabetes as being similar, tell him to read and follow the present exploits of Adam Morrison from Gonzaga who is currently tearing it up in college basketball and could possible be the first person picked in this years draft. He manages diabetes daily, but he is so much more than the condition he manages.

Deebot,

There is a social stigma associated with mental illness because people simply don't understand it and in the world in which we live, people are afraid of what they do not know. There is no question that living with bipolar disorder is difficult and that a continued medical regimen is necessary, but your son has to be the one to determine that he will be compliant (even when he feels that he doesn't need it) because you won't be able to keep him compliant forever. Being a year into diagnosis, you already know this.

Bipolar disorder is an illness just like any other chronic illness. It is just like asthma or diabetes; the only difference is that the brain functions inappropriately instead of the lungs or the pancreas or any other organ that we believe related to physical illness. Actually, bipolar disorder is a physical illness because the brain isn't acting as it should, but it manifests in behavioral symptoms/responses.

My son plays baseball and has been a diagnosed asthmatic since the age of 4 months. He has taken medication every day of his life since the age of 8 weeks. He will probably continue to take medication everyday. Does he tell his teachers? No. His coaches? No. He carries an inhaler and knows when he needs it. He doesn't need to advertise, but answers honestly when asked.

Drugs for bipolar disorder shouldn't be an issue -- neither lithium nor depakote should have properties like steroids.

Unfortunately, you will never be able to make everyone comfortable with your son's illness and he will likely face some degree of discrimination (most likely covert) from others. In fact, he already has. You've got some choices, I think:

1) you could ask to hold an information session at a preseason meeting that would inform everyone about bipolar disorder and work to minimize their fears.

2) you could ignore it.

3) you could demand that the school administration handle the situation as your son is facing discrimination by staff -- a violation of federal law.

I'm sure that there are other alternatives that I haven't thought of yet.

This is not -- as some have suggested -- a learning disability. This is a disease. Being bipolar in no way inhibits anyone's capacity to learn or perform.

Other posters are correct -- communication may be key. But the communication is not solely your responsibility. It is also the responsibility of the school and its representatives to abide by the law -- regardless of their own biases -- and to work with you and your family to make baseball again possible for your son.

I see this as no different than discriminating against someone because of race, gender, or anything else that we outwardly prohibit....and I would invoke those terms if necessary to make the point. Discrimination is discrimination, period. And many who do discriminate are often shocked to learn that they do so -- thus beginning a change in behavior and perspective.

I wish you and your family the best. It is always difficult to go public with something that others perceive to be outside the norm.

My closest friend's son was also diagnosed with bipolar disorder as a junior in high school. He was an athlete in a different sport and I am happy to tell you that he has graduated from college where he played all four years, and is now an assistant coach at the college level and taking graduate school courses.

My friend knew that she had to be completely open and honest otherwise people would assume the worst. Instead of negative responses, it was amazing how many uncles, cousins, friends, parents, or children were suffering alone from some sort of depression. The school staff was not only supportive but were in contact with the mental health provider in order to completely support her son.

On a negative note, there are some providers who believe that if the diagnosis has occurred before the child has reached 18, they sometimes try to eliminate the medication. This did not work out and set him back at the time. The most important piece of this warning was that since her son was now in college, she was unaware of the symptoms. She received phone calls from her son's friends who were so educated about bipolar disorder that they were able to pick up his symptoms before anyone else and alert his mom. He went back on his medication per a new provider. He did lose a semester but after being back on the medication he completed school on time.

Hope that helps a bit.

I am the person who is dealing with this illness. Thanks for eveyones support and good advice. My dad is DeeboT, I think that anyone who puts there well being before any sport is a wise choice. It was a long untravled road for me and traveling down it helped me find out so much more about myself and my abillities. It wasnt easy coming out and telling my parents how I felt and what was going on inside my head, but I knew that something had to be done in order for me to achieve my dreams. I want to let anyone who reads this to know that if your any age 16-87 it doesnt matter you can always email me for advice. Especially if your young and you want something so bad that you will do anything for it. Once again thanks for all of your replies to this post and I hope that you will email me if you have any questions or suggestions for me.

Thanks John

John, You're a very impressive young man! I wish you all the best in your future and appreciate your sharing your story with us. May you have many successes as you travel down those roads John!

Thanks DeeboJ,

Best of luck John.

Julie, I nominate this thread go Golden.

DeeboJ -

John, I am also very impressed at the thoughts you and your dad have shared with us, and your willingness to help others. As you can tell from this thread, we are all behind you and wish you much success!

I would like to ask permission from John and his dad deebot to include this very helpful and educational thread in the Golden Threads forum. If you do approve, perhaps we should let it continue here in the General forum a bit longer, but I agree that it deserves to be preserved in Golden Threads.

Julie

quote:

Originally posted by MN-Mom:
DeeboJ -

John, I am also very impressed at the thoughts you and your dad have shared with us, and your willingness to help others. As you can tell from this thread, we are all behind you and wish you much success!

I would like to ask permission from John and his dad deebot to include this very helpful and educational thread in the Golden Threads forum. If you do approve, perhaps we should let it continue here in the General forum a bit longer, but I agree that it deserves to be preserved in Golden Threads.

Julie

Julie,

I just talked to DeeboJ and we both want to express our thanks for all of the wonderful feedback. We would like to share this with everyone especially those who don't understand what it means to live with a mental illness or to have a dream that could be cut short because of one. It is very encouraging to see such an outpouring of concern and good will! We appreciate it very much. I would ask that this thread be kept active in the General forum for awhile longer?

Thank you.

Thanks, Dad and John. We'll keep it here for a few days at least, then preserve it in Golden Threads.

Julie

DeeboJ,

My older brother was diagnosed with bipolar when he was 11, yet he hasn't stayed on meds for any longer than a couple weeks-and that has clearly shown as he isn't getting any better:my advice...KEEP IT UP DUDE!!!!

I also currently have Major Depression and taking meds has helped but therapy has helped more than anything. Have you looked into therapy for Bi-polar?

Mr3000
The way I have made it possible to overcome such a serious illness is by doing what you have to do to live with bi-polar disodar. It wont ever go away, So constantly keep up with your brother and his medications. What I do is I see a counsler once a week, she evaluates me to see what kind of symptoms she might see and tells me right away. I think that taking meds is great if you find the right combination of them. I also try my best to fill my day with the kinds of things that truely make me happy. I have had severe depression like you and when I find myself not wanting anything to do with makes me happy I try to find inner-peace from the bottom of my heart to pull through the day or days of depression. Also when your feeling depressed, what helps me is to get very active and communicate my feelings with people who know what its like to not want to get out of bed. If you can find a role model or someone who you admire and look up to go to them get everything off your chest and stay active, get out of the house go for a run or go smack the **** out of the ball off the tee.

People might not like the way you drive, but you can always make room for the ones who do.

Thanks again for all your support
deeboJ

UPDATE

Being in Michigan practice just started for the season last Monday. John had a difficult week in that he wasn’t sure if he had what it would take to play due to his illness and missing his junior year. He came home from practice early yesterday, cut day, and I thought the worst. Coach told him he is the starting catcher! He has not caught a game in his life and in 5 days he was shown how to become the starting catcher for a very competitive team. We are so happy, I just had to write and brag him up.

Baseball has been a lifeline for John and I have always had faith in him and his abilities and now he does too. Thank you all for your support!

Oh my....what a story - no bragging there imho

Comment on Golden Threads - There are several now that I am aware that have been nominated and publicly acknowledged as Golden Threads by administrators yet they have not been moved. This thread is one and the other one was
piaa_ump's story from a few weeks ago. I would also like to nominate a thread called Positive Influences where infielddad posted The Dash. Thanks.

awesome, congratulations

Bump ... time for the Golden Thread forum, Julie?

Deebot - Thank you for sharing such an inspirational story.

DeeboJ - CONGRATULATIONS!!!