Moving on…
It’s happened to countless regulars to this website, and it will happen to countless more. There may be a few of you who’ve noticed my absence from this forum since August or so. Up until then, the past few years have been crammed full of youth baseball talk, high school baseball talk, college baseball talk, and so on. I’ve been one of the fortunate ones who was privileged to watch his son chase the dream.
He had developed from a skinny infielder/pitcher to the point that he was transferring from an NAIA school to a D-1 program as a pitcher. As a parent I’ve gone through the trials and tribulations of watching him succeed and fail on the diamond. I had to learn to bite my tongue when it seemed like he was always on the mound when the team would lose a game 2-1 or 3-2 via unearned runs. I also got the goose bumps of hearing folks talk about his potential. In the first two years of college I saw a tremendous amount of growth – physically, emotionally, and mentally. All I could ask for was that he do his best, and that he get a fair shot. After finishing his second year he was extremely frustrated. While his team had enjoyed a lot of success his freshman year, the next year was a struggle. He finished in the top 2 or 3 of the league in ERA, as a weekend starter, but lost most of his games. He was unhappy with the campus environment and the treatment of athletes at the school. The coach who had recruited him had moved on. There were questions about whether there’d be yet another coach the next year.
After a lot of soul-searching he decided he wanted to transfer. That brought on a whole new book of issues – most of which have been covered extensively in various forum threads, so I won’t bore you with any of those. After a lot of summer work (getting some hours, crossing Ts and dotting Is with NCAA compliance issues) he got himself ready to attend his new school. Whereas he used to be less than two hours from home, he was now going to be about 6. And, he was going to be about 8 from his girlfriend and his old teammates. I was a little apprehensive about this, but he insisted that he was ready to make the move in order to fulfill the dream of playing D-1 ball. So, we make several trips, found a duplex to rent, got into a year’s lease with another transfer player, and finally make the move.
About three weeks later he calls with the news that he just can’t do it anymore. He says his heart is just not in it. This was something that came completely out of the blue to me, his mom, his girlfriend, and even his old buddies. My initial concern was that he not make a rash decision based on some emotion that might change in two weeks. I must admit that I was also a little put out in that he made this decision after doing all that was done to get admitted to school, make the move, etc. But, the coaching staff was first class, even leaving open the door if he had a change of heart. My next concern was with him. There he is, hundreds of miles from home, with his only “friends” being baseball friends, with a girlfriend who’s 8 hours away. He insisted that he was ok. He said that he felt like a tremendous weight had been removed.
Without the restrictions of practice, workouts, etc., he ended up driving back home about every weekend. While I understand it, it probably wasn’t the best thing. He kept “liking it better” here rather than there. But, with all that he seemed to be doing well with classes, and was still hanging out with some of the baseball players. Later in the fall though, the wheels apparently came off. I’m not sure when, but shortly before Thanksgiving it was apparent that he was in trouble emotionally. To cut to the chase, his mother and I decided he needed to be home.
So that’s where we are. He was able to get a late withdrawal from school and has now enrolled at the local community college with plans to go back to a 4-year school in the fall. He’s re-established some connections with friends from high school who are attending college here. He still loves sports (and baseball), but just doesn’t have the desire to play anymore. I’d be less than honest if I didn’t admit that I had to struggle with this. As a dad, my first concern is for my children’s welfare. But I also want what is best for them. I will continue to believe that he had a gift that he did not fully exploit – but then again, don’t we all.
To my great pleasure, his old high school coach heard he was back in town and asked him if he would like to work with the pitchers. So, he’s been working with the pitchers and is going to serve as the JV coach this spring. I’m glad he’s staying in the game and giving back something. I’ll always cherish the many, many memories that he gave me out on the diamond. From the first time playing at the age of 6 until this past summer, it’s been a great ride.
He and I are turning a new chapter now. The progression was inevitable. We all face it at some point in time. I am very fortunate that I was able to enjoy this for as long as I did. As painful as it was to see it end, I’d do it again in a heartbeat. I’ll probably always wonder “what if” things had worked out to where he hadn’t felt the need to transfer. But, that wasn’t my decision. He’s happy with himself, and that’s what counts. I’m still proud of him.
Sorry to be so long winded. I’m making up for several months of not posting. I just didn’t know what to say.
Good luck to each of you on your journeys. I hope they are as rewarding as mine was.
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