My Space/Xanga

You are right, they just don't think about - or truly comprehend - the potential ramifications. That is even true of emails, which can be easily printed and distributed just as the contents of the myspace, xanga and facebook can be printed & distributed.

They need to think twice about what they post in the public domain. But they are teenagers, just as the rest of us were at some time (the ancient past, in my case).

I heard about this site several weeks ago, only to find out my son had a profile. I didn't like some of the stuff I read, so I made him delete it right then. These kids just plain don't think sometimes. I'm glad I caught it before someone put something really bad on there. I would strongly encourage every parent of a teenager to find out if your child has a MySpace web site and watch them delete it right before your eyes. These kids write some of the foulest things I've ever heard and it's right there in plain sight for the world to see. It's pathetic if you ask me. Glad to get that off my chest!!

quote:

Sometimes our kids act without thinking about the ramifications. I would hate to see any of them disciplined for something they didn’t do or could have controlled.

I’m sorry I don’t understand the problem. I thought the administration was supposed to act on inappropriate activity by the students.

I think everyone will agree that no one should be disciplined for something they didn’t do ----- but that is quite different than getting disciplined for doing something improper that they could have controlled but failed to do so. Am I missing something here????
Fungo

I must be missing something too, unless the child or children in question threaten individuals at school or elswhere, why were they disciplined by the school for something they did at home?

Does this mean that if my son eats his Pop Tart on the couch again and the school finds out about it he can get suspended?

Freaking PC CR^P!!!!

Agree with Fungo.

Kids have to think, but I know I wasn't when I jumped off my roof when I was 14! Almost broke my leg!

Fungo,

I don't think collikar said the administration shouldn't discipline students for wrong-doing. I took it that she wanted to warn parents to look at what their own children might be posting to these sites so they might avoid getting into trouble themselves.

I also took it that she was pointing out that a student might have an otherwise harmless webpage, but someone else could post something inappropriate about them, post it onto their page and they would get into trouble for it.

Yes, maybe you were missing something after all.

Myspace.com has been the subject of many a conversation I have been in lately due to my work in a school and the popularity of these sites amongst the High School community.

Based on my discussions with my friends I truly think a lot of students are unaware that these sites are open to anyone, I mean anyone, you do not need a special email, you do not need a password anyone can read anything that is posted and you would be amazed at what some students post, it would shock a lot of parents to know what their children are posting. Most students think that parents are just in the dark about this and don't read this stuff.

I think teens just forget how "open" this type of site is since they are in a world of IM, text messages, emails and voice mail. When they choose to post personal information such as phone numbers and pics, they are sharing it with the world.

I also think because teens are so used to reality TV and all those forms of communication they see Myspace as just another way to communicate/keep in touch and they are truly unaware of any harm. And harm is happening as I have heard of communities were police are viewing this information and using it, we have been told, at our school, that these sites are a haven for pedaphiles as they get all kinds of info. and kicks out of these sites and schools have had to deal with the sites in regards with certain information that has been posted about students/teachers/the school. What surprises most students is that the information posted is public domain and can be used against you.

What started off as something "fun" to do and a way to communicate can end up having some serious complications.

It is worth checking out and I think the more parents are aware of this site then maybe the coolness factor of these sites will fade away and if they do go by the waistside then nothing major is lost but I lot could be saved.....

Be it right or wrong, I know we have had some
kids in trouble with the school for things
posted on their myspace and xanga.
It goes with the line of thinking if you run with a bad kid, that makes you a bad kid.
If inappropriate behavior is posted on your
website either by you or someone else then you
must be doing something inappropriate.
So our coach has told the kids NO WEB SITES
or they will be in trouble.

Look at what collikar said:

quote:

Recently, students have been expelled, placed in alternative classes, etc...because of the My Space/Xanga profiles they post.

Of course we don't know what material they posted but if it was inappropriate I would EXPECT the administration to act. I'm sure we're familiar with Eric Harris and his web activity prior to the Columbine HS shootings. The administration was alerted to the web activity of Eric Harris and they failed to act.

quote:

I would hate to see any of them disciplined for something they ***** ** ** could have controlled.

I appreciate school administrators that discipline those that need discipline. Do we not give the administration the authority to discipline so they can teach children proper control?

Short of a terroristic threat as defined by law (and that is alarmingly broad in scope) I don't think any kid should be punished by the school for what he or she posts on a website - regardless of how stupid or vile it may be. That's not the school's place.

Suppose some dad posts on this site that he thought the coach made a bonehead move pulling his son in the fifth? Is that grounds for the coach/school to reprimand the kid?

Just how far do we go with this? Freedom of speech, as long as it does not threaten the saftey and rights of others, should go uncensored. I don't care HOW dumb it is.

I'm with OldPitcher if I understand his post. It's my place to not only discipline my kid but to teach him right from wrong in the first place.

I'm not condoninig anything immoral or untoward. To me, this is just too George Orwell in nature. There is too much other cr*p for the schools to worry about. Like in my district last week there was an alleged rape in the girl's restroom by the softball field. And this is one of the 'better' school districts in the state.

It seems as if we are trying to make a call without knowing what was done ......... But I will say I have seen some youth profiles/blogs that should have raised a red flag with law enforcement and school officials. In this particular situation collikar didn't provide detailed information and I don't expect her to. I still stand by opinion that school officials should be as aware as possible of what is going on and act when necessary. Why do we tend to project the administration as the culprits here? If we want "anything goes" in and around our schools, then we need to remove all law enforcement and metal detectors and video monitors and just see what happens. These safeguards are in place to protect the majority ...not punish the few. We didn't need these things in the past because the school administrations did punish and discipline. Over the years society has demanded the school systems be more "understanding".... We even have a program in our public school system called "Hug a Thug". GET REAL!

Fungo

FUNGO



and I tend to go by the philosophy of proactive vs reactive I have seen to many a mess being cleaned up when a little bit of knowlege would have been all that was needed...........

Here's a challenge. Go to your local high school and volunteer to sit in the Asst. Principal's office for 1 day and get yourself a bird's eye view of what they deal with on a day to day basis. You'll be blown away. Almost every call to a parent concerning junior sounds like you're talking to "Race Horse Haynes" 30
years ago junior was sweating bullets when that call was gonna be made. It meant punishment at home x's Two. Parental defense is great once they have heard ALL THE STORY.

quote:

I'm with OldPitcher if I understand his post. It's my place to not only discipline my kid but to teach him right from wrong in the first place.

itsagreatgame.....You understood what I said exactly right. It's our job as parents to teach our kids right from wrong and not rely on the schools to. A lot of parents need to realize they are their kids PARENTS and not their best friends. So many parents I see are so scared that they're going to keep their kids out of the COOL kids "clicks" that they will allow them to run wild and turn the other cheek. My son's character is much more important to me than whether he can throw 90mph. Now, I'll get off my soapbox!!

I've enjoyed reading all of these responses. I have a HUGE problem with My Space. First of all, the teenagers that post on there do seem to feel like they are in a community of all teenagers. Other teenagers that all just want to be their friends. They post things that could make them vunerable in many situations.

My own son has just deleted his and I think it was because of my complaining about it. In a way I feel guilty because it's a form of communication just as HSBBW is a form of communication.

However, these young people (13-14 year olds post on there) do not understand how posting something could harm them. I'm not just talking about the teenager that posts she's skipping school that day - mom/dad read it and she's busted. I suppose she's learned a couple of lessons from that experience!

What about the kid that posts on there about having parents they can't stand, wanting to experiment with drinking or ***, feeling they're not understood, etc. Obviously, those kids have problems and they're looking for someone to reach out to - Internet can bring "someone" they think cares and is just a My Space friend.

I think we, as parents, have a big responsibility to understand what is posted on these sites and discuss with our children all of the ramifications and possible dangers of such.

quote:

What about the kid that posts on there about having parents they can't stand, wanting to experiment with drinking or ***, feeling they're not understood, etc. Obviously, those kids have problems and they're looking for someone to reach out to - Internet can bring "someone" they think cares and is just a My Space friend.

quote:

Wow - you just made a really good case in support of MySpace.

What about those kids? Would it be better if they didn't express those things? Maybe - just maybe - a parent or reasonable teen could respond with something positive.

I think I would want to know if my kid was experimenting with drugs or s*x, hated me or was suicidal. I wouldn't want some coach demanding a kid remove his site if that kid was on steroids and suffering the adverse mental effects. Yes - that's a stretch, I know, but...I think the concept of "a big responsibility to understand what is posted" is right on.

Disclaimer: I do not like Xanga or the other sites simialr to Xanga. They waste too much of my kid's time (as this site does mine) and I tell her so. Frequently. We also monitor her contributions there for all of the reasons listed here so far.

OTOH, school administrations have stepped beyond the boundaries of their charter if they can regulate the private activities or hobbies of students in order to qualify or disqualify those students for school sponsored extra-curricular activities. I am flabbergasted that parents would simply allow the HS coach (or any other teacher) to institute a mandate to their kids about issues or interests not directly related to school topics or activities.

Any legal thinker worth their salt (I am not a lawyer) can easily dismiss the school's or teacher's mandate with simple freedom of speech arguments.

Don't bury me with posts that freedom of speech does not include the right to threaten people or institutions, or allow libellous and slanderous statements. I understand all of that.

There is not a single official within the school system that could convince me to force my child to remove a personal web site if there was no threatening, libellous, or otherwise illegal content being published. And if the existence of said web site disqualified my child from unrelated school-sponsored activities the school district would certainly be receiving notice from the law offices of my choice.

More discouraging to me is that so many of you who have responded indicate satisfaction with the decision made by a coach about what your child is/is not allowed to do during non-school hours.

dbg_fan: My sentiments exactly.

My son has a myspace site that I monitor daily-but he doesn't know it. Is that an invasion of privacy? Some may think so but I don't. It's amazing the things you can find out! My son is pretty straight-laced luckily and his space is actually pretty bland but it does keep me informed. He's pretty good about telling us things but usually later (and I usually already know because of my snooping) You can go to the friends/teammates' sites also. That's how I found out most of our Varsity players are MAJOR partiers. I knew that most of them were busted (literally over half of our team) at a party and given MIPs and DUIs before my son told us-had to act surprised. Why they were allowed on the computers the day after-I don't know?! I'll let my son have his site (and I'll keep tabs on it)so that I know what's going on. Our coach/school has never said anything about it but my husband's district sent e-mails to all the principals telling them about myspace and the fact that they could be monitored so to let the kids know to watch what they post. One of the local tv stations showed how easy it was to go to myspace and within an hour show up at the girl's home-it was pretty scary. I think they started only with her first name, her school and the fact that she was a cheerleader there(info from her myspace) and they tracked her down. Sorry-I know I'm kind of rambling!

Maybe what irks me the most is that school systems do have a right to impart sanctions (alternate school, expulsion, suspension, etc.)for even misdemeanor infractions inc. DUI, MIP, etc. etc. yet you don't see the coach benching those guys. (Not to say that is the case with ORMom's son's teammates but it sounds like it.) Coaches can take a leak in the dugout and get away wiith it. (Don't really want to revisit that issue.) Special Ed teachers can make a kid drink soapy water and the result is an "investigation". (Happened in Austin yesterday and reports say it was a practice with this particular teacher. But the facts are not in.)

Overall the district I live in - in particular the high school my kids attend(ed) is doing a great job. Even despite the alleged rape of a girl in a restroom next to a softball field.

Regardless of the situation, except for the broad terrorist threat law/cooncept, it is still not their business to sanction any kid for what he or she posts on a website. I mentioned Orwell in an earlier post. Far fetched? How about senator Joe McCarthy?

quote:

More discouraging to me is that so many of you who have responded indicate satisfaction with the decision made by a coach about what your child is/is not allowed to do during non-school hours.

I know we're talking about high school here but in college (with older players) most of these practices are common place. Curfews, dress codes, DUI's are all addressed in college and violators will be disciplined. ----and then----The rules a professional player has to follow away from the field are more restrictive than either high school or college.
Fungo

It's - Obviously that wasn't my goal! I do understand though what you're saying. I guess my hope would be for any kid that needs to be heard that they're able to find someone legitimate, someone they can trust - whether that be friend, parent, teacher....... My heart feels sad for a kid that has to use that as an outlet - but I'm very well aware that happens.

While they may get a need met or it may be just provide entertainment, I still think there's a huge need for us parents to educate our children on what the site can mean. This includes folks knowing your business (good or naughty business) and that everyone's intentions on the site might not be caring ones.

I think that kids feel quite a bit of anonymity when posting there - that's why they post some not so great things that they've done. The kids need to understand that mom/dad/teacher/coach/neighbor/weirdo in another state/jealous friend/...... do have access and can use/abuse that information.

I'm not completely opposed to MySpace - just have some concerns about how it's used and our kid's awareness of that use.

quote:

school administrations have stepped beyond the boundaries of their charter if they can regulate the private activities or hobbies of students in order to qualify or disqualify those students for school sponsored extra-curricular activities. I am flabbergasted that parents would simply allow the HS coach (or any other teacher) to institute a mandate to their kids about issues or interests not directly related to school topics or activities

quote:

More discouraging to me is that so many of you who have responded indicate satisfaction with the decision made by a coach about what your child is/is not allowed to do during non-school hours.

Me too, DBG.

But the coach is trying to keep his team intact in a public school environment where athletics are envied and despised.

To my knowledge the incident that occured was
"A picture on a girls my space that was of her
and a varsity ball player and there was a beer
can in the picture"
It was not on the players site,
This is what resulted in punishment for the
ball player.

Maybe he was just holding it for a friend.

This appears to me, as yet another case of Big Brother invading our private lives
If my child is viewing and posting on this website in the confines of my home....on a computer that I pay the electricity and usage for where does it say that anyone has the right to dictate what happens and that he may be expelled for his using that forum....perhaps schools should be more concerned with what they are there to do....teach....Math skills, verbal skills writing skills etc show that a little more teaching and less intusiveness should be taking place...but...and I use this loosely.....if someone is aware that my child is posting something offensive, degrading or terroristic then I should be made aware of that situation...not the school, not the coach....I am responsible for what happens inside my home and I should be held accountable for that and unless my child has committed some offense that requires the authorities be informed then I will deal with his or her inappropriate behavior and please believe me when I say...there is noone more snoopier than me

futuremvpmlb and Glove Man,

Player was not holding a beer. He was not drinking. Player was next to the girl holding a beer, however he was suspended for 6 games due to the fact he was around it. This event happened 4 months ago. Picture was taken and posted by the girl on her myspace.com(pretty stupid) Player was not aware of picture being posted. Someone sent an email with a link to the picture to school administrators. Target of the email referenced the girl.

Wow! that's tough. Our players are officially "on notice" and will be off the team if they have any more incidents. Had punishment (and lots of throwing up) but are able to play still. The administration was made aware of the incident (but not from myspace-I'm not sure exactly how-does the police notify the school? It's pretty common knowledge so I guess they could have just heard through the grapevine)and I think that's why they are basically on probation this time. I know this was not the first incident for several of the players. It was sad reading the comments some of them posted -"At least we went down together" "We knew it was bound to happen" (there had been several close calls previously) " We had a good run", etc. Glad the team bonded but wish it was in a different manner

ORmom, I am planning on being at the OR vs. Klein game tonight. maybe I'll see you there.

I have a fiends son who plays for Klein.

Lew, that really sucks! And the school administration should be ashamed for even thinking about expelling the young man, especially if he didn't have a drink in hand.

Heck, I used to go to parties all the time and I never drank in HS, but everyone else there did. I'd have been a very pissed young man if it would have happened to me.

School suspends 20 over MySpace posting

lew - That does stink! I think it's a prime example though of what I was trying to reference that can happen when you post your business on a site like that. However, the poor player didn't even post the picture - someone else did. I think that administration should be ashamed of themselves - definately overstepped their bounds!

Glove Man, I hope I get to meet you! My son pitched last night so he'll be at 1st today. Maybe he'll hit another HR tonight-we'll be easy to find then-the parents acting like fools in the stands!

Gonna quote someone else here but don't know who it is, just remember seeing it in print. "Those that don't have anything to hide, don't hide anything." I'm pretty sure I butchered that here on a web-site where most of us hide behind a screen name as a rule. Easy Ken G., I know you put yours right out there. I'll be the first to step forward today. "My name is Swingdoctor14, and I'm a hider."

Hiiiiiiiii Swingdoc!

Glad to see you are taking the first of 12 steps -- admitting you're a hider (it was obvious to your friends and family)

it will be Step 4 that will be tough -- doing that moral inventory!!

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and 20 of his classmates were suspended for viewing the posting, school officials said.

School about to take a legal whooping on this one.

Melynda,
Thanks for the nudge ~ I have ceased the removal of sweet-n-low packets from resturants and cafeterias. Check out my space for confirmation. You guys are the tops!