Naysayer's

#1bballmomfan- This is going to sound incredibly rude, and I apologize for that, but I can't really think of another way to say it.

If you get this aggravated about one meaningless parent claiming that one little time about your son isn't true, how do you plan on handling any adversity whatsoever that he may face moving forward? This isn't even adversity, this is meaningless.

You are 100% right.  It just touched off a sore spot with me.  But you are right and it is very incidental.    

1bballmomfan - What you've experienced is what nearly any parent/player has experienced on the climb towards college or pro ball.  And even when they are "there."

Good news?  Welcome to the club!  

Bad news?  None really, just that its gonna happen in various forms over and over….and over again.  Learn to ignore it.  JH has it right.

I could write a book of examples through two sons.  Just wait till your boy is in college/pros and bloggers/fan message boards light up with, 'He sucks!' articles and posts.  It just ain't worth fretting over.  All the best! 

Good advice justbb.  I'd like to add to it however in the context of this thread.

#1bballmomfan - my advice to you is never say anything about your son.  Never mention his stats, never mention anything.  Let his play do all the talking for him.  Some athletes and parents talk a good game.  The best actually play a good game without saying a word.  You gave the naysayers something to use against you.  IMHO, talking can only hurt your son. 

When my son had his first varsity at bat in the summer before his junior year began, I heard parents openly complaining about it.  Who is that scrawny kid?  He doesn't look big enough to be on the freshmen team let alone getting a varsity ab...  Why is that kid taking an at bat from my son?  People said these things right in front of me having no clue who I was and they could care less if anyone heard them.  

All that mattered to me was I knew who that kid was.  I knew what they didn't know.  Over the course of time, many of them came to know what I knew but there will always be some who think someone else is better.  The way to react to a naysayer is with achievement - not dialog.  

#1bballmomfan,

I have only participated on two message boards.  This one and our own back when it was actually active.  

In 2004 my son was with the Milwaukee Brewers so I would read Brewers.net site including the message board.  Back then the site was pretty much run by Patrick Ebert who now works for us at PG.  I never posted anything on that board, but enjoyed reading it.  One day after a bad outing, my son was getting pounded by posters and Brewers fans.  It was like border line hatred.  Not enjoyable reading at all for me.

I noticed a new poster sticking up for my son.  I even remember the user name, "Ballgirl".  After a few posts "Ballgirl" started to wear me out because of the way she was arguing on behalf of my son.  She was bragging him up and seemed to know way too much for an ordinary fan.  

I got suspicious and ended up finding out who "Ballgirl" was.  Ballgirl was my daughter!!! Sticking up for her brother on the Brewers message board.  We got that stopped in a hurry!

Point is, words can hurt, but in the end it really is nothing to worry about. If your son is that fast, he is that fast.  Words will not change that fact.

The bigger the stage the more vitriolic the naysayers become, comes with the territory. Hopefully some day you have to really put up with it. 

"#1bballmomfan - my advice to you is never say anything about your son.  Never mention his stats, never mention anything.  Let his play do all the talking for him.  Some athletes and parents talk a good game.  The best actually play a good game without saying a word."

CD,

that is great advice, maybe one of the best pieces I've seen here.

"I got suspicious and ended up finding out who "Ballgirl" was.  Ballgirl was my daughter!!! Sticking up for her brother on the Brewers message board.  We got that stopped in a hurry!"

PG, you have NO idea how much reading this made me laugh deep within my gut. I just LOVE this so much. I cannot wait until my wife gets home from church to read it to her. It sounds like my daughter when I've seen her stick up for her brother when he wasn't around and was oblivious to anything being said. For a moment I thought you were going to say it was your wife! Either way it was just priceless! Thank you for sharing that with us!

#1bballmomfan, you just got some of the best advice from perhaps some of the most experienced and wise Posters on this entire site. There's really nothing I can add to anything any one of them has said here. I think it's natural for us as parents to want to "stick up" for our children because it becomes second nature to us. Especially you momma hen's! No one messes with her kids! I have seen over the years while on this site that anyone who has ever questioned another's stat information about their player is either just jealous and wishes their son could do that, or they have nothing better to do then start an argument for no purpose whatsoever. And trust me, they exist even on this site. In the end what does it really matter what anyone thinks or believes about your son when all that matters is what you KNOW and believe? If they were questioning you about why your son hadn't been offered anything yet based only on his speed then it sounds like to me that they aren't very cognizant that there is so much more than just speed that catches Coach's eyes.

Just my 2 cents for what it's worth.

Good luck to your son!

YGD

Thank you all for your wisdom.  It was much needed and appreciated.  I'm trying to not be the protective mother hen and get thick skin so to speak.  That's priceless about "Ballgirl"  I could see one of his sisters doing that same thing.  I know it was minuscule to what many of you have faced or encountered and it's just all new to me and my families journey. Thank you for reminding me that this is all just part of the deal and learning those things now will (hopefully) help me later.  He is not a P so thankfully maybe it may be less brutal in the event that he makes it to the next level. Thanks again for all your wisdom and information.  

I had an 8th grade son who was 5'3" and 95lbs that made the HS JV.  He was a stick of dynamite and got everything out of what he had. 

Warming up for one game a nice little granny was pulling up her in lawn chair said; who is that little boy wearing number 1?  I had to box out my wife for the rest of the game because she was going to scratch her eyes out....and I wish I was kidding about that...but I am not.  5 years latter she still brings it up and gets fired up all over again.  It probably didn't help that I was laughing my rear end off and the madder she got, the more I laughed. 

I still don't understand why it bothered her so much and all I ever got from her in between some incomprehensible hissing was "that wasn't nice".

It happens....

This reminds me of a HS playoff game.  Son started.  He wasn't doing well in the first few innings.  I overheard some negative comments.  I never mentioned to anyone that he was wearing a back brace (I know, I know, don't hate me).  He pitched a CG loss giving up 1 ER.  To me, it was my son's greatest game.

One of my favorites is when my son started at point guard on an 8/9 rec basketball team as an 8yo. A guy leaned over to my wife (not knowing who she was) and filled her in. "That kid only starts because his father is the coach. My son will eat him alive."

My son scored 29 points mostly in steals from the guy's kid, going the other way and laying them in. My wife never told the guy she was the mother. She just rubbed it in several times how good the little kid seemed to be. 

It goes on everywhere at every level. Just play hard and work hard.

I might add its important to not verbally pass "judgment" on any other player on the team/(s)! You never know what someone will hear or hear about. 

Just stay upbeat and remember phrases to apply to other peoples kids such as: "that was a tough chance", " I like his effort", "The ump screwed him", "What was the coach thinking?","He shows a lot of potential" , "Nice swing", "I've always liked the way he plays", "Nasty hop" etc...

It's tough to hear people saying negative things about your son.  I've had it for years as I coached him until after his 15U season (he's our coaches son that's why he is our number 1 pitcher etc.).  Then My son in H.S. was the best example, he said "dad their just jealous, this is all they will ever have, I feel sorry for them", "I just ignore talk". Nothing like having your 18 year old not only better at baseball than you ever where but also smarter in many ways.  My advice is the same as his, just ignore it or even say, you might be right.  of course after being drafted he still hears a lot of people who now say "you went late", some people will always try to bring you down.  Just laugh it off And focus on your goal, whatever that may be.

Some great posts...and exactly why I undersell my oldest kid when people start asking questions or making comments...and just tell them that he works hard, loves the game and is a fierce competitor, and leave it at that.

lefty - Make sure your son is working on his cliché's too!  They are his friends, he needs to learn them, use them and perfect them.  "I am glad I could help the team and good Lord willing it will all work out." 

When my son has been interviewed after a good outting, he always gives credit where it is deserved...the catcher for calling a great game and the defense for having his back.  That approach has reduced the negative stuff when he has a bad outting.  My wife has a saying about the negative folks out there that love bringing kids down..."They are like crabs in a bucket." 

#1bballmomfan,

I’m gonna take just a little different tack than the others, not because anyone has given you bad advice, but rather to show there are other perspectives. You think you got peeved because it was your son being discussed, but the real reason you got peeved was the ignorance that spews forth from so many mouths and is seldom corrected.

In that case, anyone in earshot should have asked that parent what the size of an athlete’s school has to do with his running time. But people won’t do that! Rather than stop someone’s ignorance, people will allow it go unchecked because they don’t want to get into any kind of conflicts. I agree that the EASIEST way to deal with it is to let the comment roll off your back, considering the source. But is it the BEST way? I don’t think so? Sometimes its best to call BS on someone, if for no other reason than to stop the ignorance from spreading. There are a ton of myths about the game of baseball that give it a great ambiance, but that doesn’t make the game better at all.

The only mistake I think you made, was not getting in that person’s face at the time it happened! He was full of bull and you should have called him on it.

I thought you were going to say: "When my son has been interviewed after a good outting, he always gives credit where it is deserved...Dad."

#1BBmomfan

No one can tell you how to react to that stuff.

You will react the way you want - you may adapt to it - or it may burn you up for as long as your son continues to play.

I can - however - share with you my very simple thoughts about the subject.

I think about it this way - and it worked for me.

You cannot control other people's ignorance - or egos - or their life frustrations - or their jealousy.

No matter how hard you try - no matter what you think is the "right way" - I bet you wont be able to do it.

And you are not being paid to do it either. Unless perhaps you are a psychiatrist.

So why bother?

I rather focus on things I can control.

My love of the game. (My wife may not agree - lol)

My joy when my son does well.

My sadness when he sucks.

But most importantly - I can control how I go about enjoying the fact that he is on the field competing.

That's the best for me - and no jealous - or frustrated - or drunken - or faux baseball fan - in person or on the internet - will ever be able to change that.

No matter how hard they may try.

My advice to you is drop the rabbit ears - and simply enjoy the fact that your son is there on the field - playing the game - and competing.

Its in the game.

Thank you all for the advice.  I realize that it was so minor and insignificant.  I'm learning that I don't have to defend his worth...he will do that all on his own by his ability.  Learning when and how to dismiss ignorant comments will be trying to me, but not impossible. This whole maturing from child to man for me as a mom is tougher then expected.  I have to say it's only 1% of the people, majority of the time parents compliment his ability so I will chose to surround myself with those that are encouragers and supporters and not naysayers who's goal is to tear you down and just be jerks.  It's a tough place out there and very competitive and each kid is chasing their dreams. Each of us wants our son to prosper and live out their passion and sometimes people try to take away others in order to feel like they are advancing their child's.   So very thankful for this forum and all the invaluable information that's here.  People have been so willing to share things they have learned along the way that worked for them to help the next person succeed.  I'm so thankful for this time in our lives and being able to be a part of this journey he is on.  I absolutely LOVE watching him play and compete.  Win or Lose I will always be his biggest fan.....even if I do wear rose colored glasses on occasion.  

I think I remember that quote in a a very funny movie