Need advice from parents who have had son repeat 8th grade.

As a teacher, I've never met a kid who wanted to repeat a grade, especially not 8th, even those who really, really needed to for academic reasons. I would encourage you to rethink your plan for that reason alone if your son isn't in serious need of repeating for academic/social/emotional reasons. Repeating to sync up grade/age level, if necessary, has far less impact earlier on.

As the dad of a kid in more or less the same situation, while my son and I both have occasional what-if moments about how things might have been different had he started school a year later (he might have been slightly more likely to look an Ivy or academic DI than academic DIII), in the end he's going to be better off academically/career-wise, and it hasn't really been that big a detour athletically.

To each his own.

Make sure he is a better student the second time through eighth grade. If he had any indications of learning difficulties, get him professionally evaluated and aggressively address those issues (if present).

If you can get him to improve study habits which get the grades to top tier - that will really help in opening college options (with or without baseball).  

Since he is on board with your decision, make sure he understands the "deal" - which should be no slack in the classroom for the next five years and no slack in his baseball efforts. While his interest may wane towards baseball (you can never tell what will intrude), his attention in the classroom can never waver.

For the overwhelming majority of HS baseball players who will play in college, grades and scores are far more important in opening future doors than baseball. And he must understand that - and you must do whatever it takes to allow him to reach his academic potential.

jmho

I talked with my son about repeating the 8th grade, I made my point that his grades weren't close to great, he was the youngest kid in his class, he could use another year to mature and threw in there some things about baseball.  Ultimately, he said he would be too embarrassed to repeat the 8th grade and he really didn't want to do it, so we aren't.  Only time will tell if I should have over ridden him.

We had my son repeat 7th grade since he would be going to another school. We did it for many reasons but baseball was not one of them. He was the youngest and had a tough time at his original school (private Christian school) including some bullying that went on. My wife and her mother who is a counselor thought it would be a good idea to hold him back for self esteem reasons. He was always good academically. I can tell you it was the best decision we as parents could have made. He excelled in HS not just academically and athletically but he was just a whole different kid. Very involved in school played in the HS band played baseball and was very academic.         

My son has a friend that repeated 8th grade.  Since our public schools will not retain a child unless there are academic reasons, he had to go to a private school for 8th grade only($$$), then re-enter public school at 9th grade.  This may have prevented some  embarrassment.  It was the first time I had heard of doing this for baseball, which was 7-8 years ago.

He was a beast at baseball to begin with.  He became a bigger, faster, beast going into high school.  Went to PG Jr. Nationals and he was quickly recruited to a top baseball university.  

Not playing too much in college.

I also know a player who did and extra year, a post grad year, out of high school.  Played 4 years at a mid-major D1 and just got drafted. 

Good luck!  I hope you will post back in 3-5 years and let us know how it went for your son!

Anyone I've known that has had their child do the repeat in 8th grade changed schools with the eye on the HS being a private school that had a better reputation at getting students (and athletes) into better academic (and athletic) colleges. I agree w/ @jacjacatk - none of the kids wanted to repeat or change where they went to school. By the time they were in 11th/12th grade they began to realize why perhaps their parents made the decision. 

As an August baby (so was my wife ironically) - I can tell you a large majority of my HS friends were a year behind - it's where my "social circle" was. I was an upper 15% student in class of 800, but in hindsight I wonder where I would be with 1 more year... With that in our minds, none of our (June, September, or October birthday) children started school "as soon as" the school systems allowed.  Thus, they usually ended up the oldest in their class. I think it's helped each of them in different ways. It's certainly not an easy choice, but I'm not sure I'd do it "just" for a sport (baseball) to potentially play in HS. I think the more you read in here, the more you find how "fickle" the game and player selection process for a team really can be.

GOOSEGG, most of our conversations have centered around education and how we will handle the 2nd year. It will be home school and we are going to choose something elevated (haven't yet decided on curriculum) as well as getting more involved in groups, charities, etc. This next year (his 8th grade year) will be about developing study habits that will help him more with organization, research skills and the actual art of learning as opposed to just doing the bare minimum. 

I know my son. He could use another year even if I were to exclude baseball from the conversation. Thankfully, baseball brought me to the decision in the first place. 

CACO, we are moving from a school that ends at 8th grade and the kids are spread out (district wise). And if he were to do this and stay in the area where he played last year, an overwhelming amount of kids that he plays with are in the lower grade, including many that are older than he is! So we are good there. But we will probably move across town towards the Cobb area. 

standballdad posted:

We had my son repeat 7th grade since he would be going to another school. We did it for many reasons but baseball was not one of them. He was the youngest and had a tough time at his original school (private Christian school) including some bullying that went on. My wife and her mother who is a counselor thought it would be a good idea to hold him back for self esteem reasons. He was always good academically. I can tell you it was the best decision we as parents could have made. He excelled in HS not just academically and athletically but he was just a whole different kid. Very involved in school played in the HS band played baseball and was very academic.         

In general, his self esteem is fine, but I have noticed certain conversations where I think he is trying to tell me more of his concerns. I firmly believe that a year more of growth will help him with confidence as well as being able to take on more leadership roles. Thank you for sharing. 

I was born in November and really was the youngest in my class.  In my case I should have been held back or started kindergarten later because I could have used the maturity.  As it was I had a tough time.

My son is an August birthday.  From an early age it was clear he would be a good baseball player.  His mother and I kicked around sending him to a private school to repeat 8th grade, then we would have moved him back to public school to finish his HS education.  Our thoughts were purely for athletics, he did fine with school and socially.  He wasn't the biggest kid or the toughest, his size was normal.  We didn't do it.  Finances played a part and the fact that he was doing fine convinced us to let him stay at his grade level.  Bottom line everything worked out fine.  Not only did he excel in the classroom but he was a 3 year starter on the football team including one year as starting QB.  He played one year of basketball (10th grade, then he decided to condition in the winter rather than play Basketball much to the coaches dismay) and was a member of the baseball team from 8th grade through senior year and was voted most outstanding athlete in his senior class.

He played one year of D1 JC ball and 3 years of good mid major D1 ball.  He was drafted in his junior year, and now his lower age became an asset to the pros, not a liability.  He's in his 3rd season of independent ball and lo and behold he's one of the youngest members on his team, 17 years younger than the oldest member.

I think if football would have been his chosen sport the extra year would have done him good, but for baseball I am not sure it would have mattered.  If it was a maturity issue or if he was much smaller physically or if grades were a factor I think holding him back would have been smart.

My mother thought it would be a brilliant idea to have me start school at four years old. She went as far as forging my birth certificate to make it happen. I already knew how to read and do math. Looking back I believe parents do this stuff more for their egos than the good of the kid. 

I was the brainiac in the class until 8th grade where I hit a wall. Athletically I starred in anything age based. I was good enough to play junior high sports. But, and it's a big BUT, I spent all those school years being made fun of for being the baby of the class. I wasn't just young for the grade. I was a grade younger. In 8th grade I had enough emotionally. I was emotionally immature for my grade. I shut down academically. I became sarcastic. Let's say I revolted. I was cut from basketball and baseball just for attitude issues. I did pass.

I was sent to live with an aunt and uncle. I did 8th grade again. I was now in my peer group. I fit in academically, socially and athletically. I became a much more comfortable and confident kid. I returned to getting great grades. I starred in junior high sports and went on to play three varsity high school sports. I played college baseball. I believe it would have happened regardless of my age. I was seen more playing Legion ball playing with a future first round pick.

A friend of mine son was an all A August birthday kid. He was the other star of the LL all star team. He was a grade ahead of my son. After 8th grade the dad pulled the kid from the school district. He did 8th grade over in a Catholic school. Then he went on to a Catholic high school. This avoided anyone making fun of him for staying back. The kid went on to play D1 ball. But in 8th grade it wasn't hard to see this kid was likely to become a quality high school left handed pitcher. Plus his dad was 6'3" and his mother 5'10". The kid is 6'4". This move was made with the hope he would turn into a college prospect.

Several kids my son played baseball with and against went on to private schools in hopes of becoming college prospects. These were academic privates who were likely to make any kid who entered in high school repeat a grade. The varsity sports teams were typically loaded with eighteen and nineteen year olds.

i wouldn't hold my kid back just because he likes baseball. I would have to be gambling it's going to get him a college offer. Or he's not academically or emotionally ready for high school. In 8th grade it is a gamble for sports. I know several parents who gamble wrong. They paid a lot for private school until they realized their kid was never going to start there. It was like college ball: eight to ten recruits per class.

Elijah,

Sent you PM

If you check the cut-off dates for private kindergartens in your town, I'll bet you find that the age break for some of the "better" ones is early summer. That is one way the elite private schools make sure their athletics and academics are highly competitive. There's a socio-economic aspect to this, with wealthier families often able to afford that redshirt year which yes, can sometimes hold benefits down the road.  You will also find a variety of age cut-offs in public schools from state to state -- for instance, in Hawaii the kid has to be 5 by July 31 before the kindergarten school year begins.  In Maine they don't have to turn 5 until October 15 of that year, and in Connecticut not until Jan 1!  Do what's right for your kid, there's no one-size-fits-all education system. But maybe call it a travel year or a self-study year or a community-service year.  Brand it as not "holding back" or "repeating" but as exploring something new and outside the confines of the public school system. Good luck!

PeaceLove&Baseball posted:

If you check the cut-off dates for private kindergartens in your town, I'll bet you find that the age break for some of the "better" ones is early summer. That is one way the elite private schools make sure their athletics and academics are highly competitive. There's a socio-economic aspect to this, with wealthier families often able to afford that redshirt year which yes, can sometimes hold benefits down the road.  You will also find a variety of age cut-offs in public schools from state to state -- for instance, in Hawaii the kid has to be 5 by July 31 before the kindergarten school year begins.  In Maine they don't have to turn 5 until October 15 of that year, and in Connecticut not until Jan 1!  Do what's right for your kid, there's no one-size-fits-all education system. But maybe call it a travel year or a self-study year or a community-service year.  Brand it as not "holding back" or "repeating" but as exploring something new and outside the confines of the public school system. Good luck!

But maybe call it a travel year or a self-study year or a community-service year.  Brand it as not "holding back" or "repeating" but as exploring something new and outside the confines of the public school system. Good luck!

Exactly! I am very excited about the possibilities and the growth that can come from the extra year. We have a full year to go and we are already researching how we can really make it a rewarding year for him. Love the suggestions for naming the year. The baseball thing is what it is...we'll see what happens, but he will get a year full of experience that will help him in many respects. Thanks!

My son is a September birthday. I never participated in High level sports. I am not exactly athletic. My son was clearly ready academically and emotionally to go to school. The only times he ever had issue with Academics was when he was pored and not being challenged. In our School system they identify gifted Children in third grade. Ohio requires it. Our school system also has programs for those identified and once he was in that program he did much better academically. Freshman year in HS was a bit of a challenge, but he was not being challenged again, once he was able to start taking AP and Honors coarses, his grades cam back up. 

We did not hold him back, and heard a lot from other parents and coaches that we should. But if he was not challenged, I am not sure things would have turned out as well as it did for him. 

This type of decision is very personal and I would not fault a parent for making either decision. Especially if it is for more than athletics. 

Elijah posted:

...........................

 I am not on the fence about this. I want to do it and my son is for the idea. Baseball aside, I believe it is the best thing for my son. However, I am happy to hear any point of view as there is always room to learn something from another opinion. If you have made this decision, I would appreciate your thoughts. 

 

Your statement here tells me it is the right decision for your son.  While getting other opinions is a great idea, nobody knows your son like you do. 

Good luck!

Elijah posted:

My son is a 2021 with an August birthday. He is the youngest in his class. Full disclosure, I first started thinking about having him repeat 8th grade because of baseball. He played 12u last year (his age) but he was supposed to be playing his grade (13u). Of course, 13u is over and he is still 12. Concerning baseball, I want him to have another year of experience before entering high school (he only started playing at 10). 

After some research and reading arguments (for and against), I want to have him repeat the 8th grade, now for more than just for baseball. I am hoping that there are some parents on here that have also made this choice that could maybe tell me how their transition went. Are they happy with their decision, etc. 

I know some of you don't agree with this type of decision. I am not here to argue the point. I am not on the fence about this. I want to do it and my son is for the idea. Baseball aside, I believe it is the best thing for my son. However, I am happy to hear any point of view as there is always room to learn something from another opinion. If you have made this decision, I would appreciate your thoughts. 

Thanks!!

Just curious, why did you not mention anything about home schooling in the first place?

TPM posted:

Elijah posted:

My son is a 2021 with an August birthday. He is the youngest in his class. Full disclosure, I first started thinking about having him repeat 8th grade because of baseball. He played 12u last year (his age) but he was supposed to be playing his grade (13u). Of course, 13u is over and he is still 12. Concerning baseball, I want him to have another year of experience before entering high school (he only started playing at 10). 

After some research and reading arguments (for and against), I want to have him repeat the 8th grade, now for more than just for baseball. I am hoping that there are some parents on here that have also made this choice that could maybe tell me how their transition went. Are they happy with their decision, etc. 

I know some of you don't agree with this type of decision. I am not here to argue the point. I am not on the fence about this. I want to do it and my son is for the idea. Baseball aside, I believe it is the best thing for my son. However, I am happy to hear any point of view as there is always room to learn something from another opinion. If you have made this decision, I would appreciate your thoughts. 

Thanks!!

Just curious, why did you not mention anything about home schooling in the first place?

TPM, I didn't intend to omit that we would be homeschooling. It is a natural part of my thinking because he goes to a school where they use the K-12 curriculum. We are used to the home school way of thinking.  However, we are researching if he will go to a public high school. 

My wife screwed up by teaching my oldest son too much stuff at home too early. When he was kindergarten age, the private school we chose put him in second grade, making him more than a year younger than the next youngest kid in his class.

He hung in there with that age cohort just fine with a mix of home, private, and public schools depending on what was available at my various duty stations. But in junior high, we noticed that the age gap was becoming very apparent in his social interactions.

We decided to have him repeat 8th grade at home and then enter high school at our next duty station, where he'd still be the youngest in his class and no one knew he had repeated the grade. Transition went fine, and he was able to develop more as a leader by being closer to the same age as his classmates.

Sports were not a factor at all in our decision.  He was a football-wrestling guy, but his life goals were never sports-related.

I appreciate all the feedback and suggestions from the group! Thanks for sharing your experiences. 

where do you live?   In Texas you have to repeat 7th grade.   The clock starts ticking on eligibility in 8th grade.  

My son's birthday is May 18th. He is a rising freshman and is the oldest in his grade (just turned 15). The school he attended kindergarten at had a "transitional year" option for parents wanting to hold their kids back and have them repeat kindergarten.  It was kind of like an advanced kindergarten class. We feel like it was a good decision to have him do that. Even though he is the oldest rising freshman in the baseball program he still hasn't hit puberty yet. We couldn't imagine him being a sophomore and still being so far behind physically. At the time athletics had nothing to do with our decision, but now I'm so glad we did! At the time our reasoning was more because we would rather him be the oldest in the class and not the youngest. 

My daughter, who is older, did not do the transitional class. She will graduate HS and start her freshman year of college at 17 next year. She matured physically early, but man I really wish she had another year on her before she leaves the nest. Of course, 25 and going off to college is probably still too young for the daughters. Right dads?

Why not just hold him back a few years so he can buy his buddies beer when he's in HS? 

Elijah posted:

TPM, I didn't intend to omit that we would be homeschooling. It is a natural part of my thinking because he goes to a school where they use the K-12 curriculum. We are used to the home school way of thinking.  However, we are researching if he will go to a public high school. 

We homeschooled all of our 9 kids with the oldest 6 starting public school in 9th grade.   

I "held back" our 2017 during his last year of homeschooling but we continued to progress his education regardless.  I did this to maximize his opportunities for football or baseball scholarships.   I don't regret this decision even though I'm 99% sure he won't be pursuing either in college but concentrate on academics. 

I can't imagine holding a kid back that was already in public school.  

Not repeating per se, but the school my kids are at won't admit boys whose birthdays are after June 1.  Girls date is september 1.  So, lots of 18 year old senior boys.  School does very well academically and athletically.  I hated the decision at first (son has July birthday), but now I see it as a blessing.

gunner34 posted:

where do you live?   In Texas you have to repeat 7th grade.   The clock starts ticking on eligibility in 8th grade.  

Georgia

I don't know anyone who has a kid who repeated 8th grade because of sports. I know of one who transferred to a private high school after 10th grade and reclassified to have an extra year (now at a mid major D1 as a pitcher) . And one who switched to a different elementary school to repeat 5th grade (now at a major power D1 football school).

Never repeat a grade for sports. If your player shows ability and projection, it wont matter what grade he is in.  

Keeping him back wont make him a better hitter or pitcher.  

JMO

For what it's worth, it is very, very common in our area for kids who transfer from a public high school to a private prep school to repeat a grade at the private.  I've seen it in all grades and it is a common practice.  For our family, my July birthday son went through public high school (graduated at 17) and then did a prep school post graduate year before starting college.  He pitches in D1.

9and7dad posted:

For what it's worth, it is very, very common in our area for kids who transfer from a public high school to a private prep school to repeat a grade at the private.  I've seen it in all grades and it is a common practice.  For our family, my July birthday son went through public high school (graduated at 17) and then did a prep school post graduate year before starting college.  He pitches in D1.

This was my philosophy. With my son's late spring birthday if he needed another year for college sports he would do it on the back end. At that point it would be a strategy not rolling the dice. Who knows what a kid's potential is in 8th grade? At that point in a prepubescent kid's life it's all projection.

Don't do it unless he is academically challenged.  Repeating a class can seriously hurt the motivation of a kid if he wasn't over matched. He likely won't work harder the second time but get bored and fool around. 

And doing it for baseball reasons is absolutely stupid. If he is good enough to warrant that decision he will make the team even as the youngest kid and if he needs that extra year he is no D1 scholarship material anyway. 

And if he is really good that can even hurt his draft status, a 17 year old senior gets more attention than a 19 year old senior. 

TPM posted:

Never repeat a grade for sports. If your player shows ability and projection, it wont matter what grade he is in.  

Keeping him back wont make him a better hitter or pitcher.  

JMO

 

There are many reasons that I want to give him the extra year, but baseball was the reason that I looked into the idea. I want him playing with his actual age and not something determined by a cutoff date from our state. As it stands, he would not get to play 14u baseball. He would go 13u straight to high school. Some might then say he should be playing his grade. To that, I say that he is still 12 until August. If he played his grade, his 13u season would already be over. Although he is very talented, he only began playing at 10u (rec). He needs more reps before high school. The funny thing is that he plays with kids that are older than he is...and they are in a grade below him. I regret that his mom and I did not consider this when he was younger, but I am excited about what we can do with an extra year at this age. So many good ideas from those that have come to the same decision. 

Unless I am mistaken, if he was able to participate at a higher level of baseball, he would be competing to be on teams (like Area Code, etc) at the grade level, correct? This would put him at a tremendous disadvantage just for having a late birthday.  

Dominik85 posted:

Don't do it unless he is academically challenged.  Repeating a class can seriously hurt the motivation of a kid if he wasn't over matched. He likely won't work harder the second time but get bored and fool around. 

 

And doing it for baseball reasons is absolutely stupid. If he is good enough to warrant that decision he will make the team even as the youngest kid and if he needs that extra year he is no D1 scholarship material anyway. 

And if he is really good that can even hurt his draft status, a 17 year old senior gets more attention than a 19 year old senior. 

Brendan Rogers - 18 and 9 mos at time of draft. 
http://www.perfectgame.org/Pla...ofile.aspx?ID=273914

I'm not worrying about age at the time of draft. My belief is that a kid that can hit the cover off the ball will override any age factor. As has been mentioned previously, this is more than just a baseball decision. He is 12. I am not projecting him into the pros or D1 just yet. I do want to give him every advantage as a young man though. I have had more than enough examples of why this is a good idea on that front. 

You are not gonna like this but...your son is 12 and you are worrying about area code games <shaking head>!!!!

TPM posted:

You are not gonna like this but...your son is 12 and you are worrying about area code games <shaking head>!!!!

TPM, read my last post. Not concerned with you shaking your head. 

Elijah posted:

I do want to give him every advantage as a young man though. I have had more than enough examples of why this is a good idea on that front. 

The people who can provide examples of why it's a bad idea aren't going to be posting here (mostly), you've basically got a selection bias problem.

You're the parent, it's your decision.  You should try to be as objective as possible about the reasons for it, though. If you're doing it for any reason other than academic/maturity issues, you're making a mistake, IMO.

jacjacatk posted:

Elijah posted:

I do want to give him every advantage as a young man though. I have had more than enough examples of why this is a good idea on that front. 

The people who can provide examples of why it's a bad idea aren't going to be posting here (mostly), you've basically got a selection bias problem.

You're the parent, it's your decision.  You should try to be as objective as possible about the reasons for it, though. If you're doing it for any reason other than academic/maturity issues, you're making a mistake, IMO.

You are correct. I asked for examples from people that have chosen this path. I am more than happy to hear WHY it is a bad idea. So instead of just saying it is a bad idea, give me the argument, nor just the opinion. I am a "best idea wins" guy. 

Let's also not pretend that people do not do this for sports reasons. Of course they do. They are many articles to support this. But again, bring me good arguments as that helps me as a father. Provide the con argument. 

I will tell you that another year of maturity is a good idea for my son, I believe. That said, I am open to a good discussion. 

A pro prospect will show himself regardless of age. Late bloomers sometimes turn pro from D3s. If he's not a pro prospect what is wrong with graduating at 17, playing for a good D3 and having a great baseball experience?

Basic financial argument (assuming that a year repeated isn't going to change academic outcomes), 1 more year in the work force at 20/21 is going to add up to a lot more than is going to be gained from getting to play an extra year of HS Varsity (or the expected value from any playing beyond that).  And that's before whatever you might be out of pocket for the extra year in private school tuition, etc.

Basic emotional/maturity argument, if your kid's capable of doing 9th grade work at a high enough level (for Georgia, let's say enough to put him on a path to Hope/Zell Miller scholarships), having him repeat a grade isn't going to help him, and might very well hurt.  I've taught plenty of kids who weren't ready to go to 9th grade, and they don't want to repeat, I can't imagine holding back one who was actually capable of doing the work, especially if any of his peers was likely to find out/give him a hard time about it in HS. If there were actual maturity issues academically/emotionally they should have been identified before MS was over, and this decision could have been made at a less critical academic development point.

Yes, people do this all the time for sports.  People do things for dumb reasons all the time. You're only likely to get success stories for this path from the people who will see this thread, because the people who held their kids back and had problems probably also ended up with a kid who didn't have his sports future pan out as expected, so they aren't going to be posting here.

My parenting background, FWIW.  Oldest son will turn 18 next week, heads to college in August. Enrolled him in K a year earlier than necessary given the July birthday, based largely on his already being taller than everyone else, having spent most of his life in daycare, and his seeming to be more than ready academically/emotionally (relative to his K peers, anyway). Played his HS career with classmates who mostly ranged from 6 months to 2 years older than him. Probably would have had a slightly better HS baseball experience if he'd had another year before becoming a freshman, but hasn't stopped him from getting to play college ball at a D3 high academic which is very likely where he'd have ended up even with a later HS start. The later start wouldn't have made a positive impact academically, since he's always excelled academically, maybe some slight chance that he'd have been worse off (probably not, though) from hanging with a different crowd had he held back a year since he ended up with a completely different set of school relationships than baseball relationships with the year difference between his baseball age and his school class.

I have to say if like the OP's kid there was already going to be a school change AND the kid didn't object I would have had my son repeat 8th grade too with his August birthday.  He will be walking into 9th grade being 13, and I think it's too young.  

Also, I strongly believe another year of maturity to put him more on par with his peers would help him attain the 3.0 - 3.5 GA kids need to maintain to get that cool scholarship that eliminates a lot of college cost.  I'd also add that outside of baseball sights the idea of retaining a kid isn't brought up much in the real world so again as the OP, baseball would have given me the idea but ultimately I would have done it because it's what's best for my son, as the OP is.