Now That Son Has Left

I can only answer from "mama's girl" point of view. She is starting the third year of college. She calls every day/night. When she calls - she hangs up and we call her back. It's a local call from here to her cell phone and all her incoming minutes are free. Sometimes we talk for two minutes and sometimes for 20. Just depends if there is any news. Really, it's just to say "hey, I'm here and not MIA." I have no delusions that my son will do the same when he goes off next year - although I will insist that he check in every couple of days. Surely he wouldn't want me showing up on his doorstep!

Son is currently a red-shirt senior. Freshman year....he didn't call very often, and we usually had to "remind" him to remember that we are his family and would appreciate an update every now and then! Sophomore and junior years, he was MUCH better at calling and he actually surprised us by how much he called just to say "hi" and to check in with us. So far this year, he's continuing to make the effort to "keep us in the loop". I have found that "IMing", when I notice he's on the computer, is a very good way to keep in touch without appearing too overbearing (at least in MY opinion! ).

Since we left him down there - 12 hours drive - we have talked to him every day except 1! Either he calls us or we call him. Both dad and I are thrilled that he calls - and he seems to actually enjoy talking to us and other members of the family. He's doing great - but I'm thinking he may actually be starting to appreciate the family more. Another lesson learned!

My son's freshman year (last year) we didn't talk nearly as much as I would have liked to. He went to school in a small town in the middle of no where and the cell service was very limited. It stunk!!

Now, this year he's at a different school and we talk pretty much every day! I'm lovin' it!!! I do most of the calling, but he'll call often to just say hi or give me an update.

Like Luvbb says, IMing is a great thing too. I think this is because they don't have to worry about what they're saying in front of a buddy... they can type their thoughts. Perhaps it's because they're in a very relaxed mode talking with other friends on the computer at the same time too.

Since we moved him in Aug 24, he has called exactly ONE time! And that was just this Wed after the first team meeting when the coach informed him they hadn't gotten his NCAA Clearance yet. So basically the call was a SOS call...but at least he called! I realized the only way I would get to actually chat with him was thru IM...imagine my surprise to find that he had me BLOCKED! I don't think he even realized (giving him benefit of the doubt here...) I am now unblocked and we've chatted almost daily. Last night I told him I missed him and his response was "well, I can't come home every weekend so you have to get used to it". Guess he's not homesick!

This issue of not calling home is currently also a lively topic on collegeconfidential.com (in the "Parent Cafe" if anyone wants to look).

Mine--about to start junior year-- rarely calls home and never ever emails or responds to email. I wouldn't dare try IMing! Son is a computer scientist so would know every way to keep me at bay.

It's gotten to the point where I really understand it: it is his world and every minute of the waking day is occupied with baseball, studies, or friends. I am just so happy for him that he is having such a wonderful time (which doesn't always translate to "happy", but intense and memorable) and he is perfectly dear always when he is home, so I just (finally) let it be.

I also have a daughter who just graduated from college and communication wasn't a problem. I volunteer at our high school and sold football tickets last night and guess who called during the busiest time to chit chat. When I told him I would call back he said he was going to the volleyball game, but man did I get excited to see his picture flash up on my cell phone. I actually think I sensed him missing home a bit. At this time he doesn't have internet service at his house so iming is not possible unless he is on campus. That is a good thought though.

Son calls once, every evening. Asked him last semester if he felt obligated to make the calls and he said no......he wanted to......when we move closer in December.....and he gets to see us more often.....no doubt in my mind......no more daily calls.....and that's okay.....

Okay Ladies ...

You know things have changed when you hear from your daughter-in-law more than your son

All kidding aside, when ours went to college, even tho just up the road, we didn't hear from him very often in the fall and winter except to learn when scrimmages were and plan for a day home once in a while. We obviously talked a lot during the baseball season as we were able to go to all the games. But telephone calls were few and far between.

And e-mail ... well, I still have to ask him to respond if I send him an important message. He just isn't a very good corresponant.

Just glad that I have a daughter-in-law who won't lie so if we ask her something, she tells us the truth ... did the same when he was in college also so she was our inside connection.

Call home? What's that? And when I call him he answers "what?". We think he was hit on the head by a large object and has fam-nesia... that's the medical condition where you forget you had a family! Actually with cell phones, email, IM, etc., I think kids feel way more connected to home than they ever have before - knowing they CAN talk to someone at just about any time day or night seems to fill the need to actually do so. Every parent of a new college freshman that I've asked has said about the same thing, and boys are way worse than girls. I guess we either did a really good job and he's made an easy transition, or a really bad job and he's just happy to be finally finished with us!

*** I love your stories ladies! ***

Just wanted to tiptoe in and actually say something and not be just a " lurker ".

I encourage more of you to write.
Its been a slow week around here.

Fall baseball cancelled this weekend due to rain! ( UGH!! )
Got the call on the way to the game. Had to turn the car around and head back home. The look on my sons face was heartbreaking!

I really enjoy hearing from you all!


Makes the day better!, especially on an EXTREMELY miserably-boring-gloomy-rainey day.
( Got all the cleaning done yesterday thinking we'd be gone today and homemade chili and rice already made and packed up in the cooler for dinner.)

Hum da dee da dum,..B-o-R-e-D!!

Always fun to come here and find something to read inbetween raiding the frig. and flipping through the channels. Oh geez,..now I sound like my husband! ha!

Note taken: " Famnesia ",... tooo funny Mythreesons!!!! (LOL)

I'll keep coming back and checking in. It will keep me thinner, rather than raiding the frig every half hour! ha!

My son is a junior this year, and the best way for me to find out what is going on is via text messaging on his cell phone. When I talk to him live, it's a series of grunts that I have to interpret, but he seems to be able to communicate reasonably well via text message.
BTW, what does, Ma, I nd $$mean, anyway?

quote:

BTW, what does, Ma, I nd $$mean, anyway?

I always thought it meant "Mom...I love you.....ALOT!"

Luvbb That's the exact translation in my house!!! LOL

mine calls every other day unless he forgets...actually what he said was I call every other day mom unless I forget...actually I am blessed because he calls quite often. Normally it is regarding something that has REALLY annoyed him, like today when his 8:00 class was cancelled or to tell me he has spent some moeny and have I checked his balance lately. Gotta say he is coming home this weekend..two months earlier than he planned. Gotta go grocery shopping all he said was can you cook while I'm home.

luvbb -