Now what?

Coach/Dad
I wish I had some advice, but my son is experiencing a very similar situation.I too, feel exactly as you feel...
Anyone out there have any advice!?

Look, I don't want to put a damper on anyones hopes dreams and goals of major playing time as a freshman but coaches do alot of strange things to prove certain things on their ball field, and make no mistake about it, it is absolutely their ball field!! The meer fact that your sons are hanging in there is a good sign that you should be proud of!!

Gee, I tried to explain this same situation to some other websters and parents last year and they hammered me over it because they said it doesn't happen that way. They told me the best kid always plays. The Stud always plays, I told them that it isn't always the case!! That is not the case at the college level, there is a plethora of reasons for playing time, ability is just one!! The parents also told me that if the best kid didn't play that the coach wouldn't be around long!! That isn't the case either!!

Well, you parents and your sons are living proof that it does happen that way sometimes!! The Best player doesn't always get the most playing time!!!

Some schools, coaches, players and upperclassmen are more political and cut throat than others! Those are also factors that could effect playing time...who knows what was said about your son by whom, who knows what coach is looking to do what, when, who knows what promotion or job change the coach is looking at, who knows what the coaches have promised other players or their parents in their home visits, who knows what player is going to get injured!!

Now, Unless your son is a player that had a huge scholarship, a scholarship that has to be justified by the coach to the AD by the way, a baseball budget scholarship or a player that would make the coach look bad if he didn't play him, Gatoraid player of the year or such,(sometimes they like to prove they are the man anyway, this is my team attitude!!), then you are going to have to tell them to pay their dues as a freshman, hope things improve as a sophmore, and get playing time as a junior. If you think your son is much better than that, (I agree with Highlandermom) have him talk to the coach and find out what the coach is thinking!! Sitting back waiting for something to happen will get you little!!

As for advice to your son, give him your love, let him know that he is still a wonderful player!! Have him focus on his future, baseball may or may not be in it for him!!

If you do the math of how many players are on the team you can kind of figure out the depth of the position your son is playing. Figure out how many in that position were recruited more than your son, how many have seniority! What that does is gives you an idea of how many promises the coach already made to the more senior players to recruit them.

Last but not least, be prepared to transfer if necessary!! Some coaches, just like parents or players, always think they are right and want to prove it to the world!!

Good luck and I truly mean that!!!

PS: as a side note, some coaches don't like to have coaches, authority figures, or mucky mucks as parents...they threaten their job security!!

Coach/Dad ...

No matter what level of play (JUCO, NAIA, D-1, 2, 3), these kind of things happen. I agree with BBWatcher when he says that the best player doesn't always play ... for a plethora of reasons.

And although I agree that a chat with the coach is adviseable, I would not recommend that you "Coach/Dad" do the chatting, but rather your son should be the one to talk with the coach. I have seen several situations at my son's school this season already where players have requested meetings with their coaches to discuss their personal situations regarding play time, mound appearances, etc. It isn't easy ... by any means. The courage to ask for one of these meetings may be very difficult for a young player to muster. But if he wants to understand what is happening, if baseball is that important to him (and I don't judge this at all ... my son would feel the same way, I know), then he has to garner a little intestinal fortitude and meet with the coach.

And a final piece of advice ... I would suggest that (if and) when he has the meeting with his coach, he should be sure to NOT put the coach on the defensive. Rather, he should approach it from the perspective of learning what HE (the player) needs to do in order to garner more play time, basically asking for a critique of his performance and abilities and advice on proactive steps to improve his chances of getting on the field. There shouldn't be any comparison to the current starter ... that would be "bad form" ... but a simple communication of his desire to be out there, his desire to play ball and contribute to the program.

Just my humble 2 cents worth ...

Coach/Dad, listen to Highlandermom, I think she is giving you solid advice!!!

Lots of good advice, have your son talk to the coach and ask how to improve, if he gives him suggestions etc you know to stay and work on them...if the coach says something like not really and you ask well why am I not playing and you get a response like son there is just somethingss you got to sit back and accept without questioning...then my advice is to move on.

sampb

Coach/dad,

I "feel" your pain. Sorta similar situation here. But my son is soph. this year. Had to have arthro.on his elbow this fall due to misuse (BY the pitching coach in the spring), so he didnt pitch any fall ball. But as a freshman, he was a weekend starter, started 8-9 games, pitched relief in more. So, after no fall ball, he "fell out" of the rotation, so to speak...(at least in the pitching coach's eye)

Coach brought in all his new "studs" (freshmen with "potential"), and son worried/wondered if/when he would get to pitch this spring. Season started and he was NOT a starter...coach let all the freshmen get their starts, team started off TERRIBLE this season. Son would be brought in in relief of games that were already out of reach, so he was very dismayed....kept asking me what was the coach doing, and all I could tell him was to hang in, go out in relief whenever they called upon him to, start the weekday games (i.e.non-conference), and when the coach wanted to start getting in position to win some games, he would get the call.....

He didnt like this advice, but followed it, and now that he is completely rehabbed from the surgery, and gone out in relief and done his "normal" job, coach called him in office the other day and said, "you are starting this weekend", "we need to get some conference wins"........

So I'd tell you to remind son that even if he isnt starting, or playing alot, maybe the coaches do see what he is doing in practice and in relief. Noone is guaranteed a starting position, (my son knows that now......even if the team is losing!!!) and to keep at it, be confident in his abilities, but never be satisfied. Tell him to get better for himself, or for the next summer team, or whatever. I can remember joking with my son last year that his Legion team was better than his college team, only because they "jelled" as a team, and the college team didnt. And that college ball WAS in a lot of ways like high school ball, so use the college season as "warm-up" for a summer team......(and remind him if he's on a scholarship, that he IS getting a paid education too!)

We cannot control the wind, but we can adjust our sails!

All of us parents have to remember that the abilities of our kids are always inflated by us because we love them so much. I'm not saying your son isn't good or that he isn't better then the other shortstop, but fall stats are pretty meaningless and I am guessing the stats are not even kept by the coaches. There are only a small number of games that an NAIA team can play in the fall due to game limitations (unless the stats are from intrasquad games), and most coaches are going to look at other things that are more imprtant than fall stats anyway......things such as skills, arm strength, running speed, attitude, practice habits and work ethic. Those are things that we parents don't always know about. The other thing is that there are eight positions on the field. In my experience a good shortstop can play almost any other position in the infield or outfield, and a player is never competing with just one other player for playing time. Most college coaches are going to get good players into thelineup somewhere.

College coaches don't always play the most athletically gifted players; they usually play the guys who will give the team the best chance to win, in their opinion. There is an extremely small percentage (1-5%) of college coaches who are politically motivated to play certain people. College coaches are going to do what is best for the team!!!!

Certainly you have given your son good advice; heck, it is only March 2nd.....playing time for players changes as the season goes along, you just never know what will happen.

Excellent advice from highlandermom and grateful. We have always tried (even when it's hard) to keep the big picture in mind.One of the differences between HS and college ball is that the player has to assume much more responsibility for his relationship with the coach and his playing. It's one of those important "life lessons" in becoming a grown-up.

Also, remember that both the season and your son's college career are still quite young.It might be a tad too early to force the issue.

grateful, I agree with most of what you posted except that you have lumped all college coaches into the same category and sterotyped them as anything for the team! I feel that there are different college coaches just like there are different players. Using a blanket statement that College coaches in general do this or do that is really my only problem with what you post!! I also don't know where you got the percentage of 1-5% of college coaches who are politically motivated, but I assume you know more than I do with the stats but by the way I was talking about players as well as coaches and you can't tell me that upperclassmen that have been riding the pine for a while aren't motivated to play!!

But to be honest I don't know one college coach that doesn't enjoy the money they receive for their coaching, one that doesn't feel they are the capitan of the ship, love the attention of being coach, and also as you stated love to win!! They want that to continue and are normally prepared to do things that won't jepordize that, that is their top priority!! Yeah, sure there are some coaches that will tell you that they would do this if they didn't get paid for it, but I bet if they are married, the wife doesn't have that same response and the kids don't agree with that, they like their new Nike tennis shoes paid for by employment!! It's about love for the game, yes, and winning is part of that!!!! It is also about job security, employment, keeping promises to parents and players, trying to balance a ton of issues that aren't just about putting the best players on the field all of the time and lastly, working within a budget. If it was all about putting the best players on the field, all the time, no matter what, why have I gone to so many games where that wasn't the case, games that my son isn't playing in, games where the fans can't understand why someone who hits 100 is in the cleanup hole 6 weeks in a row while a 450 hitter that is uninjured sits on the pine or observed multiple times of having the wrong players on the field making Es and K's, while better players sit, not my opinion but everyone around me asking the same questions that I am!! You know as well as I do, there are different motivating factors for players to be in the game, it isn't just about having the best players on the field to win!!

Coach/Dad,
I'd like to suggest something a little different. I assume your son has a position coach different than the head coach. I would consider your son talking with him. Would suggest the conversation not being along the lines of why am I not playing but rather what "do you see to be the things I do well and what are the things I need to work on/improve and how do I go about improving--will you help me before and after practice." My view is this conversation will get your son the information why he not playing without ever asking the question, will likely be relayed to the head coach, and will also focus on how to improve to get playing time if that is the issue. I fully support the fact that you are having your son handle this matter. I am sure it is pretty emotional and testing. Let us know how things progress.

BBWatcher-----

I have never known a college coach who doesn't always try to do what is best for the team at all times. That means making difficult decisions very often. And remember that what you think is best for the team is not what everybody else thinks, and the same goes for the coach. College baseball coaches don't coach for the money; trust me, most of them can make more money doing other things. Remember, the coach has 30+ players that he is thinking about, we parents have one player who we think about!! And you say that you don't know one college coach who "doesn't love the attention of being coach". You don't know very many coaches then, because most of them could care less about attention. Just because they have the ability to teach and speak in front of large groups of people doesn't mean they love the attention of being coach. I really think your perception of coaches is not the reality. I'm sure many of the parents on this message board would disagree with me, but again, coaches are accustomed to being disagreed with.

grateful

I am with you--- coaches want to win or they would not be on the field-- the parents may not agree with him but in his mind he has the best nine on the field in every game

TRhit

And no offense is intended, but 9 games is an awful small sample. Every MLB player has hit .100 in 35 AB's. Not sure how long the season is, but I'd feel obligated to giving my "starter" half the year or so to get on track.

TRhit, the fact that there are more than 9 players on a roster should tell you that no coach can always have the best 9 on the field all of the time in every game or the best 9 would play every game all season long.......so let's just give that arguement up, please!!! There would be no rotation and the same players would always play every game. That really doesn't make that much since, does it!! So therefore, the nine best aren't always on the field, they can't be!!

grateful, do you have a son at the college level?? Are you a coach?? Where are you getting your information?? What level have you played?? What Division are you talking about?? Where have you ever heard that all coaches are the same??!!

By the way I do know more than just a couple of coaches!! Some great ones, some really questionable ones, some truly professional ones, some stroke guys that think they are all that!! Each coach is different, and each has a variation in the kind of rotation they like to use and why they use them!! Look, I don't have to try to patronize any coach or pretend things are just wonderful when they aren't all of the time. I have seen all I need first hand, thank you!!

grateful, if you are a coach, pm me, I will give you about 10 personal examples and stories that I know of that will make your hair stand on end, curl your toenails, make you shake your head in dis-belief and question the very foundation of the premise that you are making!!

I refuse to badger coaches in general on this thread when I know personally some wonderful ones out there!!! I venture to say, I was responding with my opinion on how I saw things, mainly in the eyes of a freshman and what could help this webster out!! Any advice that I was attempting to help him out with was being done to give him support with his son, not to attack coaches and to also let him know that "it's a cold world out there charlie brown"!!! All of those wonderful beds of roses went away in high school!!

BBWatcher---

I will answer your questions. But first of all, I never said all coaches are the same, I simply said that the vast majority of coaches are going to do what is best for the team. It is very rare that you find an experienced coach at the college level who is in it for his ego or is 'politically' motivated, as many parents believe.

Yes, I do have a son who plays baseball; he is a college freshman playing Division I baseball.

I have 'retired' from coaching. I was the head coach at an NAIA school for the past sixteen years, and prior to that I was a high school coach. And yes, I did play at the NAIA level.

I agree that every coach is different, and I know that you were just trying to give the poster some advice. I was putting in my two cents worth, too. College freshmen are not normally as advanced as even the sophomores, and parents and kids should not think that it is normal for freshmen to step in and start over more experienced players.

I have no problem with what you are saying, that is your point of view. I have lots of experience from where I bring my perspective, and it is a different perspective than most of the people on here. If you want to tell me your horror stories, feel free to PM me, but I will not PM you in search of dirt on coaches, some of whom I may know well. If you have worked closely with these peole and know them on a personal level then you may have something, but if your opinions of these coaches are from heresay or your perceptions from the outside, they aren't worth much to me. This isn't personal, it is professional.

Coach/Dad
I know how you fill. my son was playing on a team this year as a freshman. Not much playing time, hard to accept at first, but he understood his time would come with hard work. He talked to the coach about this and he was told to be patient that upper classmen had priority.
My son then told him he thought playing time was based on practice, games and ability. The coaches response was still, upper classmen still have priority. My son accepted this and practiced hard as usually. A couple weeks elapsed since he had the conversation with the coach and my son decided that the school he was at was not the best fit for him and next year he was thinking of transfering. After reading the NCAA rules, it was discovered before he could talk to other schools that had recruited him before, that he needed a permission slip signed by the athletc director.The dilemma now was when to you tell the coach, now or when the season is over. we felt as a family that he should be up front with coach and tell him now. We knew after he told the coach, his playing time would now really be limited. The following day, my son called us at home and told us he was "let go," off the team for him not being loyal to the program.

grateful, I will leave the subject alone then because if you have a son at the Division 1 level, you know exactly what I am talking about, and if you don't I would be surprized or better yet shocked!!

One of the main purposes of this website, I thought, was to help other parents, players, coaches and fans understand from others that have different perspectives, those different perspectives may invision other websters and give them a direction that may save them some stressful times as a player or parent, valuable recruiting time, or knowledge base of scholarship opportunities!! It is also a great sounding board for coaches, players and parents to express their view and also help websters out!!

For every horror story out there against a coach, there is a coach that has a horror story about a parent or player, believe me I bet there are some un-believeable stories than can be told by coaches as well as players.

I would assume that in Coach/Dads eyes or most parents eyes, it probably feels like a direct attack against something or someone that they truly love!! It is not meant to be that way!

It is my hope to help parents with a direct approach, not to sugar coat anything, so they get a clear understanding of truly what it is going to take to make it at the next level!! I have never had a pair of rose colored glasses, and I advise most parents and players to throw them away after they leave high school because it is a different world once you play in college and especially your freshman year. It is my intent to explain as much as I can so that some un-suspecting parent doesn't get blindsided by some event that they were un-prepared for!!

I believe as you move up in division, the pressure is greater and all of the problems are magnified 10 fold, and that goes for the coaches pressure to perform as well as players!!

grateful, you sound like one of the wonderful coaches that I was talking about, I know they are out there!! I wish the best for your son at the D1 level!! It sounds as if you retired a little too soon for some parents and that Coach/Dad could have used you as his son's coach!!

Even though parents and players may have horror stories, they should be advised not to take anything personal at the next level!! It would eat you up inside as a player or parent!! Take it in stride, prepare for the future of your son in life, baseball is just one stepping stone along the path!!

Coach/Dad, I stand by my post to listen to Highlander mom, she is giving you great advice!!

bbsports, I am sure that you couldn't believe it when the rug was pulled out from underneath your son like that, I hope he has recovered and continues to follow his dream!! I want to express again that there are some outstanding coaches out there, coaches that will do anything for their players!!

The key is to do your homework on the school and coach prior to heading off to play college ball!!

BBWatcher---

Thanks for the kind words, and you are right about the purpose of this website. When people ask questions such as this they are going to get answers from both ends of the spectrum; it is then their job to sort it out and go from there.

It was good advice to tell parents to research the program and the coaches before committing. By the same token, coaches must do the same about the student-athletes they are recruiting. During the recruiting process both sides usually package themselves the best they can. I have had many players who turned out to be completely different in work habits, self-discipline, and personality than I thought they were. Perhaps some think the same of me!!

Though the majority of college coaches are going to always try to make decisions that they think are best for the team, they all have their own distinct personalities. I was one who developed relationships with my players because that was my personality, and the ones I was able to get to know the best were the ones who I could coach the easiest. After a while those types of relationships require less explanation because the communication is just understood more readily---both ways. Marriages are supposed to be that way, right?

I have 'retired' at the right time. I am able to watch my son's college baseball career and my ninth grade daughter's high school 'career' and at the same time I am now finally earning enough income to pay my bills on time and travel around to watch my kids play!!

Parents, college sports are demanding and can be humbling for your kids. It is always best to think long and carefully before making big decisions and before saying something regrettable to coaches. Often if the kid fits in with his teammates, things work out with patience and determination. We can't always know what the best choice for college is; one never know until one gets there and plants himself for awhile.

If your son has been dismissed from the team, he is now free to explore something that will most assuredly a much better fit for him. For good, honest people, things have a tendence of working out.

One thing to always keep in mind is that the opinion on most coaches, when it comes to asking a parent hinges greatly on the playing time and success of that parent's player.

If someone asks me about my opinion of the coaching staff and the baseball program where my son is playing it would be different than that of the player / parent whose son is sitting on the bench.

Perception

Bob,
"Doing nothing is still a course of action"

I think we need to realize there are several perspectives to the game of baseball. Here's a few examples that are real life scenarios I have lived or observed:

A catcher (we will call #1) with a BA that stays around .333. Mostly he is a DH and ocassionally get to catch. The starting catcher #2 bats around 186. The parents of catcher 1 is always complaining why his son isn't playing more he has a better batting average and is just as effective as the other catcher behind the plate, which is true. The coaches perspective I got 2 guys that are both good behind the plate, catcher 1 has a better BA than 2 but they steal all day long on him because he can't get the ball to second quick. Do I want the best offensive or the defensive player. He has a decision to make and one set of parents will be made because their son is better, but the coach made a decison on his style of game strategy.

On pitching, a parent saying why does the coach leave pitcher #1 in, he just gave up 4 runs in that inning, he stinks my son is better than that. Coach see one out pitcher just walked a guy and the next hits a double play ball gets the out at second and throws the ball in the dug out, everything after that is unearned. Then they get another error or two and than maybe a hit. Parents perspective the pitcher needs to be replaced, coaches perspective, pitcher is doing his job the other guys need to shape up.

And basically you can do this for ever and for each position, there is always different viewpoints and the coaches are going to play the game his way and the way he thinks cause that is his job and us us parents need to step back and make sure we are seeing the whole picture in terms of ALL the skills required as well as knowing stats don't really tell you the story behind them and maybe look if the coach is more of an offensive coach (no pun intended)or a defensive coach.

And finally some coaches are right and sometimes they make mistakes...thats life too. I know a pitcher that didn't play at a university for 2 years, didn't pitch a single inning transfered to another school in another conference but just happen to pitch against a school in his old conference...and I know that player hopes his first schools coach sees the results

You just need to make a decision as to whether stick it out or go elsewhere, it is true in most cases once you tell a coach you want a transfer you don't play.

sampb

Another thing to keep in mind is if the PLAYER is happy at the school, reguardless of playing time, thats more than half the battle.

I would hope your son could go to the coach and ask him what he needed to be working on, and where he saw him fitting into the program in the future.

Not knowing your coach, he could get the run around, and there is always the risk of po-ing the coach. I think since your son is the one who knows him, he should decide what is the best course of action.

i am the parent of a freshman middle infielder who plays for a small division ii school in the northeast. my son was told that he was being recruited as a second baseman but never saw any time there in the winter and never practiced their at all. most of the time he practiced at short and a little at third. the coach was up front with us during recruiting that he was very happy with his now junior shortstop and said my son would be competing for time at second. as it turns out he is backing up the left side, as the media guide for his team said. feel a little like we've been lied to and also wonder what this means as far as playtime. i understand that he is a freshman but feel very uneasy about what's happening. any advice would be appreciated. this is all new to us.

i am a freshman pitcher at a D-I school, and have experienced a similiar problem. I have made two fairly good appearences against two very big schools, Villanova and Penn State. however i have been limited on my innings and only get opportunities when the game is out of reach, i talked to my coach about it, and he told me he just wants me to get my feet wet, while we are in non-conference play, that way when i get to conference play i will be ready, he also said that playing 25 games in high school to playing 50-some games in college is a big transition, and doesnt want me to run out of gas to soon. Just give it time and everything will work out for the best.

Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many players on the field
--Jim Boulton
Hello again, everybody. It's a bee-yooo-tiful day for baseball.
--Harry Caray