Offered marijuana or alcohol on recruiting visit?

This is a subject that comes up from time to time and there are a lot of threads on it if you do a search. Mostly no, but it happens, most common is AL, as the NCAA randomly tests for marijuana, but I guess it could happen but less likely. 

Maybe it's a test.   

I wish I could share my experience here, but I can not.  PM me if you like.

Would your son tell the coach or just give another reason for declining to play on his team?

They must have misinterpreted the memo that a group of "HIGH" schoolers were coming to visit.

Name something you pass around ...

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5bLSuZRZG0

 

No for dope, and a big yes for booze  But given the times we live in, in some states it could be legal for dope in certain situations. 

Oh darn!  Just re-read the OP.  It says the kids.  Had my hopes up for a second.

 

After all "Enjoy the Ride!"

ABP, regarding your question of whether to tell the coach, or to give another reason for declining to play there, you and your son obviously need to make the final decision, but I would consider these factors:

 

1. Is there a younger brother, or perhaps a HS or travel ball teammate, who might be recruited by the same program?

2. Is your son being recruited by another school in the same conference or the same geographic area? (possibility that he may be "beaned" or "targeted" when he plays against this school?)

3. Does your son's HS or travel ball coach have a relationship with this coaching staff? They may know whether the college coach would appreciate knowing this information, or would ignore it.

4. Is this a veteran coach who has been at the school for many years, and appears to "look the other way", or is this a new coach who may need to establish some leadership and responsibility on his team?

5. Was the offer made privately by one team member, or were a large number of team members involved?

I can't name a single College where a Freshman is not offered pot or alcohol, regardless of if they are in an athletic program.

 

I would HOPE you wouldn't throw away a great opportunity because someone offered to your son what is offered every day on every campus....it doesn't mean he has to partake, it just means he is going to college.

 

You have to trust that you have raised him to make good choices and have REALLY explained the consequences of poor choices, with maybe a lesson or two on how to get out of that situation if it comes up.

 

What am I missing here that this has upset you...did you not think he would be offered those things when he got to college?  So....it happened during a recruiting visit, well it's going to happen at what ever school he chooses to attend so might as well resign yourself to that fact.

It is more about the culture. If this is being offered to a recruit, is this accepted in the team culture. And if it is and someone chooses not to partake, are they then on the outside? Remember, as an athlete he will spending a great deal of time with the other players, typically on and off the field. If they live a lifestyle that makes a player uncomfortable or he has a tough time fitting in, it may be a long unhappy experience. 

A couple of years ago, sons team lost a pitcher due to this type of behavior. It may have cost them quite a few wins. If these players get caught and suspended from the program, it is not only the suspended players that are effected. 

 

If I where the coach of that team I sure would want to know that my players where doing this to a recruit.  Determining as an outsider if this is a culture thing or not seems to be a tough task.  As the OP says this behavior could cost the team big time. A local JC had 11 baseball players suspended for the season a few weeks back because they where caught drinking.

 

I know that my own son would not want to be on a team full of partiers as he would seem them as not committed.  I'm not sure that you can really do much in this situation other than use it for education. If you do tell the coach and he goes to the players then your son will be impacted whether he signs there or not.

CaCO3Girl, a recruiting visit is a little different than freshman year socializing. First, the visiting kids are usually juniors in high school. Big difference in maturity in those two years. Second, the coach has selected a player or players who he trusts to look out for your son. If those guys show poor judgement, what are the others like?

 

There is a range of activity between taking a kid to a friendly campus party where some students are drinking "responsibly" (and the girls are pretty)... and a situation where the players are trying to get the visiting 16 year-old to puke for the first time.

 

I always told my son to assume that everything he did on the visit would be reported to the coaching staff (not likely to be true). If they're drinking beer, you drink soda. You may only get one chance; don't screw it up.

Sorry CaCO3girl, but I think your way off on this one. Run away OP!

 

 

Call me naive, but if a member of the BASEBALL TEAM had offered JP a doobie on his visit to the school he committed to, it would've told me:

 

- the team culture sucks

- there's serious lack of leadership

- he'd hate it there

 

The way I see it, it's not about how we've raised him ... or the fact that every athlete is exposed to it .. or any other such thing. It's about choosing to join such a culture once it's been made clear what a player would be signing on to.

 

No way. 

Thats the point I was trying to make. You said it much better than I did.

My thanks to everyone who has weighed in. Yes, marijuana and alcohol are common on almost all college campuses. And, yes, guys on teams drink alcohol and some smoke marijuana. However, when my son visited other schools, no one offered him marijuana or alcohol His reaction to the guys who offered him marijuana was to call me during his visit and say he'd made up his mind that he was not going to go there, "I don't want to play with a bunch of smokers; I want to play with guys who are serious about the game." His only question is whether he should tell the coach what happened. He is going to tell his club and high school coaches.He will not sign with another school in the conference.

If a player is risking his eligibility by smoking pot during the season it tells you something about his commitment to the program and/or how irresponsible is he. This is a player the coach chose to be part of the recruiting process. So yes. it reflects on the program.

 

Once at a college athletes sometimes need to adapt. My daughter played college softball. 40% of college female athletes are lesbians (according to an informal NCAA survey). She had to deal with getting hit on and turning them down without making enemies. She had never hung with with (people she knew were) gays before. It was important to be part of the team socially. More than one of my showcase softball players transferred over this issue.

 

Before someone else says it, if guys were hitting on her and making her comfortable that would be sexual harassment. It's a double standard on the college campus.

 

FWIW, and I know this happens, on visits, the recruit sometimes has to pass a "team" test.  Every team does things differently, but IMO there is a difference in offering alcohol and offering a substance banned by the NCAA.  

 

While its obvious that these things take place on campus and on teams, this definitely could be a reflection of the culture or an reflection that someone is trying to trip your son up. Just remember there is a difference between a recruiting visit for a young junior and a senior on an OV.

 

IMO, I would just move on because these experiences should be positive ones for him, not negative.  Telling his current coaches what happened is the right thing to do, your son should not put himself in a position to rat on these players, remember its his word against theirs.  It might be more trying to see not if he would say yes, but rather would he go back and tell on them.  There are many things that happen, and the code of "I shall not rat on my teammates for any reason is perhaps #1".  That's why on many teams, unless someone is in real danger, the team is left to police itself and take care of its own business.

 

If you are upset, I do not blame you, I would not expect my son to ever be put in this situation.

 

BTW, marijuana use is frowned upon in MLB, but players testing positive, unless a second offense, do not get suspended. 

From the Golden Thread file:

 

http://community.hsbaseballweb...g-on-official-visits

 

Times haven't changed in the last 10 years.  

Wow, thank you.

We have lost some of those people, made me very sad.

You are right, times haven't changed!

wow, that thread is a walk down memory lane... 

Had this happen at a recruiting visit a few weeks back.  They had current players meet recruits and sit and talk with us at tables when we first arrived.  They then separated the recruits/players from the parents and the parents went and met with the HC.  The current players and recruits met down in a pub/pizza place on campus and being that my son didn't know anyone but the two boys at our table we met at the first of the visit he migrated to them.  They then began to talk about being hung over and smoking marijuana and began to ask him if he did that and talk about them partying and if he partied and had ever done a beer bong and started telling him that you could put left over marijuana in food and eat it.  My son walked into the room where my husband and I were waiting with his eyes wide open and said Mom ... the language of these guys and the things they said I have never heard before.  It gave us an opportunity to talk about these things and what life could en tell there at that college and how you can find those kinds of kids anywhere and that you need to seek out those kids who are more like you and set boundaries from those that aren't.  There will be these kinds of kids everywhere. You have to take the time and talk to your kids about it and discuss options and just things of the world and how to react and respond and how not to get sucked into it.  Don't get me wrong, I still worry, but we have spent 18 yrs raising him and teaching him what is right and wrong after that he's on his own.  We pray daily for him and that his choices will be similar to those that we have instilled in him, but ultimately that's up to him.  This college is a very reputable college with an amazing academic investment.  We didn't take this college off the table, but have allowed him to make this choice.  He will be going back soon for an overnight and that will be the real tell tell sign if it was just a random two players, or if this was the mentality of the team.

Unfortunately you can watch many R rated movies that would make the language heard at some colleges seem tame.

#1bballmomfan,

 

Been there, done that.  Have confidence in him.  I think you are doing a very smart thing by letting him go to make his own judgement.. In my son experience not everybody on the team is the same, and frankly not everybody is best buddies.  They are teammates not choir boys.  Good luck!

My opinion is that because this question comes up all too often that they are checking out the recruits and where they are coming from.  After all, if you are on a team that has a winning culture, you want to make sure that the recruit has his priorities straight. Let's not be naive to think that our kids are not going to have temptations in college. 

Why would a player risk that inquiry without thinking it would get back to the coach. maybe because the coach asked the players to check him out.

 

I know of a player that asked during recruiting where the nearest bar was where he could use his fake ID. It wasn't the fake ID but the asking of the question that had his commitment withdrawn, by the coach. 

Well it may have been, but these two particular guys gave me the feeling of sneaky before we even knew that.  They never really talked to us but more looked passed us answering our questions so to speak all the while watching the rest of the room when we are all sitting down with them.  But stranger things have happened so I guess it could be possible.  

If I had to bet, I'd bet it was a test. In fact, I'd PRAY it was a test -- and I'm certain that one way or another, my son would find out before signing an NLI.

 

But assuming it wasn't a test, I have to ask, #1mom: Doesn't the fact that the coach put these two players with your son give you pause?

 

It would me. 

 

Actually, it'd do more than give me pause. It would worry me.

 

Not because I'm naive enough to think that college boys don't smoke dope (or ingest any number of other harmful substances that I may or may not have myself, when I was a young knucklehead), but because I DO believe that healthy college baseball programs hold their players to a higher standard.

All the more reason to ask the question. Because these type of programs dont want to deal with after the fact. If it makes someone feel uncomfortable its for a reason.
The coaches cant ask....so in a way it does make sense.
JMO

Actually they weren't chosen for us.  They had a large banquet room with about 15 tables set up and we found this table and then the current players migrate to tables.  This was our first "recruit" visit with lots of other recruits (approx 50) from all over so it was very unlikely that the coach really had any idea at that point who was who with the exception of 1 or 2 that you could tell had personal contact with them prior to the arrival.  This was the preliminary siphon I would say to weed some of them out maybe????  Or to actually lay their eyes on them in person and not just in video and pictures and phone and texting.   We have been in contact with the coach and recruiting coordinator weekly since then sometimes several times a week trying to get us to the overnight.  This weather issue postponed his overnight that was suppose to happen this past week to next week. We have talked to our son about talking to the coach, but are still up in the air because we aren't even sure that he will want to go there after his over night next week.  I think will be a tell tell sign to us as to what it's all about once he stays there. Don't kid yourself that we won't have talked extensively about what do to in certain situations.... but on the planting of these players from the coach portion....  What it appeared to us was that these recruits were all freshman/sophomore that were probably doing their obligation to socialize with parents and new recruits and fill the room with bodies representing that school.   He did meet several others that were very nice and never approached him about illegal drugs or alcohol, but those were the ones doing the tours and helping the coach out with the stations that he had.  We were able to talk with current parents of players in a question and answer session as well which was pretty enlightening as well. We don't really know what to compare it to because the other 3 times we have met with coaches it has been pretty much one on one or us and maybe 2 others. Learning process it is. We have always stressed the importance of taking care of your body in order to perform to the best of your ability. We are not naive in thinking that he will not have that temptation as I am sure he has had in HS, but we obviously don't want to throw him into the known lions den.  We will ultimately let him be the judge of this with bouncing things off the wall of course.  We just don't want him to be starstruck with the name of the college and chose it because of that and not because of the program and education aspect of it. Guess time will tell and all we can ultimately do as parents is be there to help encourage and direct him in a path that will be uplifting to him.    

 

Thanks for clarifying. I hope everything works out for your son. Sounds like it will.

 

Now, I have to ask (and #1mom, this isn't for you; I'm asking the been-there-done-that crowd, because I'm  intrigued):

 

Under what circumstances do schools bring in 50 recruits for a banquet? I've not heard of this. Is it something I can expect, with a 2016 who's verbally committed to a major D1, but is still more than a year away from signing an NLI?

 

 

 

It wasn't a banquet, but held in a banquet room or large room there on campus.  It was a recruiting day. They had several over a two or three day period. 

 

This sounds more like a junior day. If this was a D1 program they cannot pay for food.
Freshman and sophomores usually have to work recruiting duties.
Perhaps he got 2 who wanted to goof on someone.
I am not a fan of large recruit days. But it does give one a glimpse of how many one has to compete with for just a few scholarhips.

I agree with TPM.  It sounds like a "Junior Day".  In our experience a "Junior Day" is an event hosted by both Admissions, Academic Programs and Athletics.  Food and overnight accomodations were provided for all prospective students which is how I think they get around the NCAA restrictions.  Athletes were allowed to spend time with their respective teams, talk to coaches, spend the night with a possible future teammate, listen to presentations and talk to Deans.  For us, it was the red carpet because it involved all aspects my son was interested in.  We learned alot about various academic programs, got a real sense of the social life and spent time with the baseball players away from the baseball field.  

My son has decided not to tell the college coach about being offered marijuana. It was offered to him more than 10 times while he was hanging out with the entire team. He also saw one team member buy marijuana. He thinks the marijuana use is so prevalent on the team that the coach should have at least a good idea that it is taking place.

I'm glad you relayed your son's experience because I'm going to tell my son that it will be a possibility he may encounter this if he is good enough to get recruited. 

I would counsel my son to bypass a college baseball team where quite a few team members smoke weed because, like you, I believe the coach knows its going on. 

 

Of course the wisdom of Yoda has a different take.

 

 

Was this an NCAA D1 school?
If so would you mind what time of year or which division?

Fenway,
As far as I know the only time a school can spend $$ on a recruit is during their OV, not a group "junior day".
Please correct me if I have wrong info. Not sure this is correct for all divisions but as far as I know D1 coaches have only 25 OV to award...therefore junior days become a good tool for them to get recruits on campus..on their dime not the programs.