Parental Contact During Recruiting

This happens more than coaches might wish to think. Usually, however, its a friend-of-a-friend kind of contact.

I'm not sure I'd be too thrilled to answer questions from a "cold call" from someone I had no connection with. Now if I had a warning that the call was coming and some context to go with it (e.g. parent of a pitcher who wonders about college's throwing program or something like that)...I think I'd be ok with it.

I understand the coach's concern if they were tracking down and calling random parents on the team.

I am more than happy to talk with anyone about my son's school, coach, or program. I would not be comfortable though with a cold call from someone I didn't know. Like JustBB says, I think it's typically a call where someone has sent them your way.

I guess this recruit won't be going to that school now!?!?!

I'm not sure that I agree with JustBB though that the coach should be upset. Coaches call other coaches all the time for scoop on recruits. Does this coach have a reason to be upset or worried about the info his parents are passing on?

One of the questions my son's coach asked was why he wanted to go there. We were very open that we had talked to a couple people whos sons went there.
One of the best sources of info is from other players in the program. The only reason he might be upset is if unappropriate dialog took place.

Do y'all think the coach isn't calling several contacts (of whom you know none of them) asking for references on your son/player? It is called due diligence. Any person/family about shell out $10K, $20K, up to $40K to send a child to college and to a baseball team is well advised to perform as much research as they can; including calling parents of players on the team. I had contact with some parents of college team during the recruiting cycle. I have accepted calls also and will continue to.

Oversensitive and controlling coach, IMO. If the coach has a good program and maintains cordial relationships with his baseball families he has nothing to worry about. If the coach is upset because a recruit's parent has the audacity to perform something other than surface level research that could be a tipoff on how he relates to the baseball families.

quote:

Originally posted by dbg_fan:
Do y'all think the coach isn't calling several contacts (of whom you know none of them) asking for references on your son/player? It is called due diligence. Any person/family about shell out $10K, $20K, up to $40K to send a child to college and to a baseball team is well advised to perform as much research as they can; including calling parents of players on the team. I had contact with some parents of college team during the recruiting cycle. I have accepted calls also and will continue to.

Oversensitive and controlling coach, IMO. If the coach has a good program and maintains cordial relationships with his baseball families he has nothing to worry about. If the coach is upset because a recruit's parent has the audacity to perform something other than surface level research that could be a tipoff on how he relates to the baseball families.

GREAT POST

*** anything else would be considered ignorance and a lack of parental responsibility

I'm with dbg_fan 100%. Good post!

JMO, as a parent, one has the right to do as much investigating as possible.
During the recruiting process all coaches suggested that we make as many phone calls as we liked to parents. And in return we have received inquiries as well.
A coach cannot ask a parent of a player to contact someone for them.
I agree, there are calls made in regards to the recruit, you have the right to do the same.

Works both ways. Coach needs to get over it.

quote:

Originally posted by justbaseball:
I understand the coach's concern if they were tracking down and calling random parents on the team.

I think my comment was misunderstood...or I didn't state it very well.

All I was saying is I thought maybe the coach was trying to protect the parents of other players...i.e. maybe whomever they called wasn't too thrilled to get the call and complained to the coach? How did the coach find out? My ?guess? is someone complained to him (I think I wouldn't have liked getting that call)? Perhaps he's just sticking up for their privacy? Maybe I'm just giving too much of the benefit of the doubt too.

Nothing wrong with parents checking it out with other parents IMO. I just wouldn't want what I called a "cold call." If I got a cold call I'd find it a bit odd. What will this parent who I don't know do with the information I give him/her? An email, I could handle...it gives me time to think about what I want to say...but a call? I'd rather not. JMO.

Read the news rules and regulations---it will confuse you even more

They can be interpreted such that calls like this are a violation

quote:

Read the news rules and regulations---it will confuse you even more

They can be interpreted such that calls like this are a violation

What rules pertain to parents making calls TR?

Ask your College Coach for the "Guide to NCAA Rules for Alumni, Faculty, Staff and Friends"

I'm just glad I didn't call any parents of the schools my son was being recruited by. Can you imagine the wide range of responses you are going to get, and if you don't know somebody, how are you going to trust their responses. Parents don't know how to coach, they aren't at team meetings, practices, hotels, games, etc.

What parents are you going to call? The parents of the star players? The parents of the bullpen catchers or guys who don't travel? How do you know if the parents you call have a clue?

As a former college head coach, I would have no problem with parents asking anybody what they know, but as a parent, I certainly am not going to trust the opinions of somebody I don't know, whose opinions are colored by their own experiences and what their sons tell them.

quote:

Originally posted by grateful:
whose opinions are colored by their own experiences

Who has opinions that are NOT colored by their own experiences?

FWIW, a parent researching a college & baseball team in this way is 1) collecting information from multiple sources and 2)assimilating this information and evaluating it in an attempt to characterize or paint a general picture about a particular situation.

With the technology available to us today it is a mistake not to make a concerted effort to learn everything we can about a college and program (baseball, performing arts, equestrian, chemistry, etc...) that our kids are about to invest their time and their (our?) money in.

quote:

Originally posted by dbg_fan:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by grateful:
whose opinions are colored by their own experiences

Who has opinions that are NOT colored by their own experiences?
QUOTE]

That's exactly what I am saying. Ask the parents of a kid who has developed great relationships with the coaches and you get one answer. Ask parents of another kid who hasn't developed great relationships and you get an opposite answer.

The poor relationship just might be the cause of the player. It is the responsibility of the players to get on the same page with the coaches.

You don't know if the parent you call has recently been through depression, always has a victim mentality, thinks their kid is better than he really is, etc.

The alternative then is to gather no third party information from present or past players & their families. IMO, that is riskier than speaking with some past members of the baseball program and then evaluating the response you receive and the motives behind the responses.

I have 3 kids. A baseball player, a dancer, and an equestrian. As each kid begins selecting potetial colleges we will evaluate the school, the program of interest, and the apparent quality of graduates and the percentage of graduates that gain employment in their field of major. Along the way, if I meet people who have graduated or are currently enrolled in these programs I will chat them up for as long as they can tolerate me to gain insights & perspective I cannot get from reading websites and statistics.

quote:

The alternative then is to gather no third party information from present or past players & their families. IMO, that is riskier than speaking with some past members of the baseball program

more info is not always better - -
no-one said do not speak to current/past players or parents, but a cold call from a stranger to a stranger is worthless

imo

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I was just wondering how this is different than placing a post on this forum asking for information on a school? Isn't that pretty close to cold calling someone. Of course we all know the replys on this site are always invaluable, thank goodness!

There are no restrictions on a recruit or his family making calls. Boosters, alumni, faculty are not allowed to approach or call a recruit.

bagsbaseball - I'm not sure I'd make a "cold post" here either re/ a specific college program...unless I just flat didn't know anything about it and wanted some general information.

I certainly would not ask, nor expect, any parent or fan to answer questions about the "inside" of the program. Nor would I fully trust any response to that type of question...I would never know the agenda of the respondent.

Most of the posts on specific programs I've read here have to do with climate, campus, facilities, academics, etc... Very few ask about the ins-and-outs of the program. That is, however, the type of questions people ask when making a phone call.

Just my thoughts on this.

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dgb...

I'm with you on this one.

While we would not personally cold call...we do want to know everything we can: the good, the bad, and the ugly. We can handle it, and we want it from every source we can find. Particularly from a program you may not have had your eye on. Better to get it now than with our son in the program a year later and find a real mess we could have known about had we looked. Now that is the real nightmare. See a recent thread...

Without getting too high or too low, we begin to sort and sift. We toss the bad that we think is either way out of line, or totally biased. It is usually easy to spot. We also toss the bad that we are sure will not be a problem for us - but might have been a real problem for another.

Which leaves us with the bad that we can research, investigate, and discount. If it really bothers us we ask the coaches about it. For a couple reasons. We want to know, and second we want to see how they handle the question. IMO you can tell a great deal about a coach and a program by asking difficult questions in a reasonable way. We asked and we got solid, honest, forthright, and positive responses from the recruiter. That honesty in part sold us on the program and a year and a half later it seems we were right.

Don't feel comfortable cold calling?....Sit in the stands at a game it is not hard to find a section with parents in it. Sit nearby and listen, man alive, you can learn more than you every would get by cold calling...

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Cold calls have yielded for us a wealth of helpful information, ranging from the seemingly trivial (many players on the team also love to hunt -- my son's other passion) to the fairly serious (11 of 16 freshman players not back for sophomore year). Call it a waste of time if you want, but for us it's been beneficial. And we thank the parents on the receiving end who've been willing to share....

I am going to chime in here and give my opinion on Bagsbaseball's point re: asking a question here on this site vs. cold calling a parent.

IMO, I wouldn't do either. Altho, I do not fault this particular parent for cold calling for info....he/she was doing what they thought was in the best interest of their son. I also wouldn't put out a blanket question re: a particular program here on this site either for the same reason I wouldn't cold call a person. We don't know the person's background and/or experiences that might color their bias' (as Grateful said). However, honestly, we don't truly know the backgrounds and experiences of a vast majority on the HSBB either and to me, it is very similar to a cold call. Are we CERTAIN that info on a person's profile is true? Many do not even HAVE a profile. I know I leave mine fairly vague, and I do that purposely. And I'm sure there are many who hide their true identities for a variety of reasons on this, or ANY, internet message board.

That is the beauty (said sarcastically) of the internet, we only know who the poster CHOOSES to let us know...and it MAY be far from the truth, or it may BE the truth...we have no idea because of the anonymity of the internet. We only REALLY know those posters that we have taken the time to get to know via correspondence outside of this site.

If I truly had a question about a program, I would only value the opinion(s) of those who I know personally. But then again, if someone I didn't know asked ME for information re: a program that I know....I would gladly either offer my help to them if I could. I think WHOEVER and WHEREVER you get your information from, you just have to take it with a grain of salt, consider the source, and decide whether that info is important enough to accept or to investigate further.

Luvbb - excellent post! To post a question here would IMO be of more benefit because at least you know the internet personality of the person and could take that into consideration. If you, Fungo, FBM, etc. were to post something, I know that what you have to say is credible. I also know enough to recognize your personalities and that you would or wouldn't say something regarding a particular subject. You have some criteria for assessing what you're told here.

However, as a parent to cold call someone, you know nothing about the person you're calling. They could be answering your call from jail or a psychiatric ward for all you know.... you don't know what their reference point is. They could also be the best friend of the college coach.

TPM

If a parent has made a "donation" to the program you are considered a "friend" and that puts you in a different realm than a parent

quote:

by lafmom: info on Campbellsville U in KY, ask away!!!! I'm neither the best friend of the coach, in jail or on any medication!

umm, I believe those candy thingies DO require a prescrption outside of Ky



when I received "cold" inquiries from strangers, I too was always happy to answer many operational & general questions -
BUT off limits were player info, any critism or comments about any details of the program that were not public knowledge.

if the caller was a legit friend of "so and so" more details were available, guestimates of position depth, player personalities, staff opinions etc

if the guy bought me a brew I spilled ALL


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Bee LOL, I took that off after I posted it because I decided to those who do not know me, it might sound a bit crazy itself!!! You were too quick on the draw!!!

I agree with your philosophy on sharing though!

Nobody much asks me about it. I guess because they already know It's great to be a Ragin' Cajun!

quote:

when I received "cold" inquiries from strangers, I too was always happy to answer many operational & general questions -
BUT off limits were player info, any critism or comments about any details of the program that were not public knowledge.

One caveat....it would have to be pinot noir to get me to spill the beans.

TR,
Any parents making a donation to school athletics now becomes a booster. You are correct.

According to the NCAA there is a difference between being asked questions and actual recruiting. Parents should not be afraid to ask questions of anyone, but should be leary if approached by anyone trying to sell the program or helping them to get in with the staff, that is called recruiting.

I get pms, emails all of the time about where my son goes to school. The big question, over and over, is your son happy? I think that is what parents asking strangers basically care about. I think strangers (asking strangers questions) realize that there is only so much info a stranger will give!

TPM - Then you'd better start watching your step!

Me? I got the tree!

jbb

Please tell the tree to wear clothes for next event.........

quote:

Originally posted by justbaseball:
TPM - Then you'd better start watching your step!

Me? I got the tree!

ring, ring...

JBB.....Hello.

caller....Hello.

caller....How are you today sir.

JBB....Fine and you who is calling?

caller....This is ............, my son is being recruited by Stanford. I see your son is on the current roster.

JBB..yes, yes he is, how can I help you?

caller...well, I have an very important question, if you don't mind answering?

JBB...sure, go ahead.

caller...well, I know that you do not know me, but I am trying to contact as many parents as I can as I have something that's been bothering me a bit. Before son decides, I thought I should try to find an answer, something that has been bothering me since this whole process began.

JBB...ok

caller...Well, you know that weird lookin' thing that runs around trying to look like a tree?

JBB..yes I know of that tree...

caller....By any chance does it give your son nightmares?

JBB ....CLUNK

Mrs. JBB to JBB..why did you hang up the phone?

JBB...."Gee, I hung up as fast as I could, I don't want that poor kid or coach getting in trouble over THAT TREE"!

A classic TPM...a classic!

quote:

by lvbb: One caveat....it would have to be pinot noir to get me to spill the beans

Mrs Bee has 5 gallons that will be ready soon, will that do?

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I know that the NCAA reg's are like the wind...but isn't the regulation ur speaking of in regards to the school and its friends alumni etc. contacting the prospective student athlete and his/her family and friends.

I have not come across any regulation preventing a prospective athlete contacting current athlete family members. It may very well exist....

quote:

Originally posted by TRhit:
Ask your College Coach for the "Guide to NCAA Rules for Alumni, Faculty, Staff and Friends"

Novice Dad,
Recruits can make all the inquiries he/she or parents want.
Recruit cannot be initially contacted by any alumni, boster, staff, player (if not prior relationship).

quote:

Originally posted by TRhit:
Ask your College Coach for the "Guide to NCAA Rules for Alumni, Faculty, Staff and Friends"

why add confusion?? the prospect need not understand rules meant to regulate other folks (alum)

basicly, the rules are to "protect" the prospect, not to hinder him from gathering info.



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