CSU DAD,
I was a little worried about the CUS(s) DAD name, LOL. I fixed it for you. (Our system doesn't allow members to change their own display names.)
It's fun to hear that your son is still playing pro ball, and I know we would all love to continue getting updates so we can follow him!
I found your Doubledad member profile and I can update that for you if you want to use it. Just send me a PM or an e-mail at jas@pclink.com if I can help.
Julie
quote:Originally posted by RJM:
What's missing on the board are the parents with high expectations of their kids at fourteen, who bombed out. The people left on the board are those with successes.
might be true...
I'm fortunate like many here that My Son is living his dream. So I'll give you a story of a friend...
His Son in those early teen years was the hot player, good size, good bat with decent power, fast, shortstop etc... etc... and a Good Kid. Played AAU traveled the East Coast. Like any parent would be they were very Proud and happy.
A couple of issues that I could see down the road (but you hope won't happen, because being a friend of the family you want to see him succeed as if they are your own):
1- Parents wanted it more than the kid, they were driven and he was not. Parents had visions of Big Time college baseball or draft.
2- Work ethic - had natural athletic ability that will put you ahead of kids your age when you are younger.
3. Grew early stopped early - Went from being one of the tallest to one of the smallest.
4- Unfortunately grades were an issue in school, figured with baseball, wouldn't need to worry about it...and parents refused to see that education and grades were as important as the weekend hitting camp.
5- Played Varsity as a Freshman and was overmatched, and did not know how to handle it. Parents instead of support just rode him harder. Lost all confidence.
6- Easier to complain then work on school or sport. Coach doesn't like me (...of course thats why he picked him as a Freshman).
7- Easier to find other ways to feel good about self...substance abuse
8- Grades suffered
9- Barely graduated
10- No direction no vision and future uncertain.
Baseball is a distant memory and so are most of his friends when he went in a different direction. Unfortunately parents still making excuses for drugs and all.
Yes, welcome aboard, again CUS CSU Dad. Your son is a great story!
In our situation, my son never wanted to dedicate himself fully to baseball until half way through HS. All through grade school and middle school, he participated in a number of sports. He tried out for a travel baseball team here in town, but before the tryout, the coach told him and I, "we already have enough pitching", and wouldn't ya know it, they cut him.
He started taking pitching lessons in 8th grade, because he wanted to. I asked if it was something he wanted to do, and he did. He would do what the pitching coach wanted, work on his stuff at home, with some occasional prodding, but never really showed much drive. Just happy go lucky and let the chips fall where they may. I would talk to him about conditioning, footwork drills, weights, plyometrics, and he would listen, maybe even do it for a couple of weeks, but never followed through, and I never pushed. I would remind him that there were things he could do, but never demeaned him for not doing it.
Then one day, the light bulb went on and he told me that he was going to dedicate himself to baseball. I asked if he would like my help, and he said yes (I know nothing about baseball). My job at that point was to remind him of his commitment. The days he would take off, I'd tell him, "You know, there's some pitcher in your conference that's working harder than you are today, are you still dedicated to becoming a great baseball player, because he is." Is that pressure? Sure it is. It was to prevent the inevitable backslide if he was allowed to revert to happy go lucky. It's easy to talk about dedication, and hard to follow through on it. He needed to learn what it meant, I think he has.
He started taking pitching lessons in 8th grade, because he wanted to. I asked if it was something he wanted to do, and he did. He would do what the pitching coach wanted, work on his stuff at home, with some occasional prodding, but never really showed much drive. Just happy go lucky and let the chips fall where they may. I would talk to him about conditioning, footwork drills, weights, plyometrics, and he would listen, maybe even do it for a couple of weeks, but never followed through, and I never pushed. I would remind him that there were things he could do, but never demeaned him for not doing it.
Then one day, the light bulb went on and he told me that he was going to dedicate himself to baseball. I asked if he would like my help, and he said yes (I know nothing about baseball). My job at that point was to remind him of his commitment. The days he would take off, I'd tell him, "You know, there's some pitcher in your conference that's working harder than you are today, are you still dedicated to becoming a great baseball player, because he is." Is that pressure? Sure it is. It was to prevent the inevitable backslide if he was allowed to revert to happy go lucky. It's easy to talk about dedication, and hard to follow through on it. He needed to learn what it meant, I think he has.
Great posts! Same destination reached but different paths taken.
This is a very interesting thread for me because I have one playing professional and another who just turned 14.
With the first one when he turned 14 we were absolutely clueless. Yes, he threw hard but so what. He got noticed by his first ML scout his freshman year and things began to happen from there. Our hope was that it would open a few doors to college. We learned alot, made a lot of mistakes and have had one heck of a rollercoaster ride. As for the future, he is so close to his dream I just pray he is good enough to take the last step.
With the second one they are the obvious comparisons. I have no idea what will happen. He has talent and works hard but who knows. I expect so much out of him that isn't baseball related because he has a heart as big as the Grand Canyon, I am not sure what his gift is but baseball almost seems to small. No pressure there right.
They have both a different times in their careers looked to me for fatherly approval. I repeatly tell them that as long as they give it their best and are good people I will be proud. As for people they have both exceeded expectations, the baseball is just a bonus.
With the first one when he turned 14 we were absolutely clueless. Yes, he threw hard but so what. He got noticed by his first ML scout his freshman year and things began to happen from there. Our hope was that it would open a few doors to college. We learned alot, made a lot of mistakes and have had one heck of a rollercoaster ride. As for the future, he is so close to his dream I just pray he is good enough to take the last step.
With the second one they are the obvious comparisons. I have no idea what will happen. He has talent and works hard but who knows. I expect so much out of him that isn't baseball related because he has a heart as big as the Grand Canyon, I am not sure what his gift is but baseball almost seems to small. No pressure there right.
They have both a different times in their careers looked to me for fatherly approval. I repeatly tell them that as long as they give it their best and are good people I will be proud. As for people they have both exceeded expectations, the baseball is just a bonus.
It is such a small world Deldad. I started to follow your son after he came down and pitched in a tournement while he was in HS. I continued to track him and was so excited when he verballed to UNC. I was very disapointed when I heard he was not coming. But I continued to try and keep up with his baseball career. Now that I have met you here and had the chance to talk to you many times in the chat room I catch myself pulling so hard for him.
I want you to know that you are not alone in this. There are many just like me that are pulling for Nick to reach his dream. I personally have no doubt he will reach his goals. But regardless everything I hear about your son is nothing but first class.
I want you to know that you are not alone in this. There are many just like me that are pulling for Nick to reach his dream. I personally have no doubt he will reach his goals. But regardless everything I hear about your son is nothing but first class.
14 yrs old- 9th grade. We had just moved from MS to OH. New school – knew no one.
He came home from practice and said “I got it”, got what? The number 19. (That was his brother’s # in HS, who had just graduated and decided not to pitch in college because of a “girl”)
The 14 year old said,” I have decided to take #19 to college.” My answer was there is a long road from 9th grade to 12th grade, but go for it. Try and make your dream come true.
What no one expected was the UC ligament tear and Tommy John surgery the summer after his jr. year. Things happen for a reason and everything has its time. You had a vision at 14, maybe its time for a new one at 18, but it has to come from your heart.
He is there-living the dream, fulfilling the promise he made at 14 and signed to pitch this year- with a great college team. I believe in supporting kids dreams but he is the one that made it happen.
You have to want the dream and for all the right reasons.
He came home from practice and said “I got it”, got what? The number 19. (That was his brother’s # in HS, who had just graduated and decided not to pitch in college because of a “girl”)
The 14 year old said,” I have decided to take #19 to college.” My answer was there is a long road from 9th grade to 12th grade, but go for it. Try and make your dream come true.
What no one expected was the UC ligament tear and Tommy John surgery the summer after his jr. year. Things happen for a reason and everything has its time. You had a vision at 14, maybe its time for a new one at 18, but it has to come from your heart.
He is there-living the dream, fulfilling the promise he made at 14 and signed to pitch this year- with a great college team. I believe in supporting kids dreams but he is the one that made it happen.
You have to want the dream and for all the right reasons.
I know you are proud of your son. And you should be. I hope he gets #19 in college. I bet his brother will be very proud of him as well.
Let's go the other way with this for those of us with thirteen to fifteen years olds. What do you expect to happen, or hope to happen?
My son turned 15 last month and is a freshman in HS. He has been playing baseball since he was about four years old. He absolutely loves the game. Last year he played travel ball on a very good team and over the winter has been working hard getting ready for HS tryouts. After HS, he wants to play baseball in college. If he continues to work as hard as he does now, I believe he will.
My son turned 15 last month and is a freshman in HS. He has been playing baseball since he was about four years old. He absolutely loves the game. Last year he played travel ball on a very good team and over the winter has been working hard getting ready for HS tryouts. After HS, he wants to play baseball in college. If he continues to work as hard as he does now, I believe he will.
Golfball,
FWIW, here is a suggestion. Hope for the best, but it has to be his dream. Expect the unexpected, because that is what will probably happen either good or not so good. It really doesn’t matter what a parent believes unless the son believes.
I think hoping for the best is great, but being prepared for disappointment is also important. Also think it is always important to remember that there are many much more important things than baseball.
CSUs post was very interesting and hit close to home. Also think deldad’s post taught me something. I’ve enjoyed reading all the posts in this thread, trying to learn from all the stories.
I not only think this is a great topic… I think it is a very important one! With all the hopes, dreams and expectations… Don’t forget to enjoy it and make sure your son really enjoys it.
It really is… Just a game! Now if only could convince myself of that!
FWIW, here is a suggestion. Hope for the best, but it has to be his dream. Expect the unexpected, because that is what will probably happen either good or not so good. It really doesn’t matter what a parent believes unless the son believes.
I think hoping for the best is great, but being prepared for disappointment is also important. Also think it is always important to remember that there are many much more important things than baseball.
CSUs post was very interesting and hit close to home. Also think deldad’s post taught me something. I’ve enjoyed reading all the posts in this thread, trying to learn from all the stories.
I not only think this is a great topic… I think it is a very important one! With all the hopes, dreams and expectations… Don’t forget to enjoy it and make sure your son really enjoys it.
It really is… Just a game! Now if only could convince myself of that!
GOLF and I have sons the same age (mine will be 15 in May). They've played in the same tournament once but not against each other. GOLF couldn't make the trip. I did get to see his son pitch.
GOLF and I have participated on another board since our kids were nine or ten along with several other dads with kids the same age give or take a year. It's been an interesting journey to observe.
GOLF and I have participated on another board since our kids were nine or ten along with several other dads with kids the same age give or take a year. It's been an interesting journey to observe.
At age 14 I did not think my youngest son would even play baseball past high school. I knew he was athletic but he was good at several sports and did not seem to have a foarite My oldest son had decided around age 12 that he wanted to work on basketball in middle school and our baseball father/son sessions came to an abrupt halt in favor of one on one basketball in the yard. It was not until my youngest son finished his freshman year in high school [age 16+] that he told me he wanted to play baseball in college. We talked about the committment on his part that would be necessary to get him there but sometimes, especially in the off season, I could not get him to work on baseball. So I wasn't sure anyone would want him or that he would stick with it. But someone that he and I both respect did and and he is working at it so I would have to say, he exceeded my expectations as far as baseball is concerned.
TW344
TW344
quote:FWIW, here is a suggestion. Hope for the best, but it has to be his dream. Expect the unexpected, because that is what will probably happen either good or not so good. It really doesn’t matter what a parent believes unless the son believes.
PG - Thanks for the response. Believe me, it's my son that has the high expectations. He has played in a PG tournament here in VA but not been to a showcase yet. He will start that process next year. Hopefully we will talk to you down the road. Thanks again!