Parental Projections

As the parent of a 14 year old, I cannot wait to hear the responses to this question.

I have to constantly check myself back to reality but I do still have high expectations (hopes?).

He ended up pretty much where I thought he would. I'm a realist. So far, so good...

The thing is, I sometimes underestimate people because I want to "keep it real." Occasionally, son has shown flashes of brilliance that amaze me. He is extremely lean and has the potential to far exceed my expectations in college. Now, wouldn't that be fun!

Mine is where we thought he would be. We knew he had talent and was capable of continuing to play at the next level, however, with both my husband and I as educators, we were always harping on grades, advanced classes, SAT & ACT scores, etc. He was the one who always replied, "I'm gonna get a baseball scholarship." We pushed hard on academics and always made comments like, "Yeah, well, that's a great dream and we're all for it, but if tomorrow night you break your leg in a football game, there will be no baseball scholarship." I would say we are defintely realists....but VERY proud of what he's accomplished.

Mine is right where I thought he would be. He took his 11-13yrs off from baseball to race motocross. Started back at 14 and has worked hard ever since. I have coached him and his brothers for 18yrs so I do not wear rose color glasses, but I have seen several parents over the years who do

Mine amazes me that he has gone as far as he has. I always knew he was talented but assumed that the BB thing would pass. He amazed me that he wanted to go as far away as he did. He is very close to me and his Mom. No homesick stuff at all.
Talent wise I always knew he could play at any level because of his always playing top competition and playing up as much as 3 years. I actually wasn't aware until the last couple years before college that he wanted to play in the USA. He is a very quiet guy who didn't talk much about it.

I never wore rose colored glasses and I always told him I would never lie to him about his abilities.

Good question!

At 14, mine was concentrated on trying to make the high school baseball team because his class was loaded with extremely talented athletes. He was a good ballplayer but never has been a superstar. Our goal for him was to be involved in a high school sport no matter what it was because of the lessons he would learn.

As a freshman, he decided that since he was not the most talented - to dedicate himself to being the strongest, hardest working player he could be and hit the weight room. Lots of time in the weight room, batting cages, and with a pitching coach.

That hard work has paid off and is still paying off as he is a freshman at a D2 strong academic school. His goal now is getting the degree - the baseball is the icing on the cake. He is realistic about his baseball abilities - knows he will not be going pro but excited about playing college ball for as long as it lasts.

I think we did not have rose-colored glasses on - definitely underestimated his determination and drive. We're enjoying the ride!

Fungo,
Good thought provoking question for me.

At 14 I had no clue where son would end up in baseball. We always new son had talent and special gifts, but it was not about what we wanted but what he wanted. It still is. If it all ended today, in this point in time, I can honestly say that he has gotten farther than we expected, but what is more important is that he hasn't gotten as far as he expects or wants.

It's not about us. And once you learn all that is involved in this process, you begin to look at things much differently than you did when they were,15,16, even 20.

Our biggest expectations from him were to do well in school and be a good person, so he has met those, I think that has opened more doors for him along the way than his arm.

Every parent at some point wears rose colored glasses but I think what's important is when you learn to take them off, not keep them on.

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"When your son was 14 years old did you expect him to be where he is today?" My answer is no. My son has far exceeded my expectations so I assume I wasn't wearing rose colored glasses. What about you?

Very good question Fungo. At 14, I went to a local juco game, thinking that "He should be able to compete here is 3 or 4 years." We started putting a list of possible schools together at 15, that included an 800 student NAIA school with a nice program and excellent coaching.

As he improved through high school, he started to raise his sights a bit. I really had no expectations after he left for school. To be quite honest, the athletic success he achieved in college has been a pleasant surprise. Who knew? I guess he did.

Quite honestly, in reflection, I think I have always had the rose colored glasses on, and still do. To me, that doesn't mean unrealism, but always seeing towards the top end of the potential scale rather than the median.

As genetically late bloomers (I grew 6 inches in 6 months at 17 years old), it wasn't hard to see that he was always a few years behind his peers in physical maturity. At 19 years old now, the gap is narrowing, but he still doesn't shave. My question was always, would he stay with it, and if so, how hard would he work towards his goals.

When he was a Freshman in HS, his coach, a former D1 pitcher, told him that he could go as far as he wanted to work, with "that arm".

Then, fall ball his senior year, still unsigned, a Pirates scout came to see him. He told him and I later that although my son had all the tools, he wasn't ready for pro ball. He didn't have the intensity, the drive, or the work ethic to survive the daily grind. The next week, he asked if I could get him a trainer to work with, and he's never looked back since. His coaches now praise him regularly for being an extremely hard worker.

So, I take the rose colored glasses off the shelf and polish the lenses daily waiting for Feb 22, 2008 when he gets to play his first game of college baseball.

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So, I take the rose colored glasses off the shelf and polish the lenses daily waiting for Feb 22, 2008 when he gets to play his first game of college baseball.

That game will be in San Antonio and hopefully, my husband and I will be sitting with you and your wife in the stands to watch!

If Projection equals Hope then yes he is where I hoped he would be.
At this point it becomes, How far will his talent take him?
How hard is he willing to work?
EH

I've always expected him to be successful, he is driven to succeed, but I'd have to say he's exceeded my expectations in baseball.

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Who knew? I guess he did.

LOL. Who says father knows best?
I pretty much knew at 14 that he was going to be a very good HS player, coach told me as much. It wasn't until 16 when he stood out against a juco team that I thought he could go beyond HS. Looking back, I'm sure glad that I was able to get out of his way.

At 14 I knew my son was pretty good. I felt he would be a hitter and he was always advanced defensively. But I did not know if he would be fast enough or athletic enough to play at a high level. It was about this time that I sat him down and explained to him what he really needed to concentrate on if he really wanted to be very good at the game. He needed to get faster , quicker and more athletic. So to me the jury was still out at this age. I was just not sure. What I had no way of knowing was how much he would grow and how hard he would be willing to work to improve in these areas.

I guess you could say he exceeded my expectations. I knew he would be a college player but I had no idea he would continue to constantly improve in all areas of the game. What I have been most excited to see is his work ethic continues to grow and he continues to constantly get better. Everytime I think he is working at a high level he seems to take it too another level.

His soph year was ridiculous. .524 ba 44 hits 44 rbi's 10 hrs threw out 9 or 9 attempted base stealers and no passed balls in 26 games.

His jr year was very good as well as he broke the schools all time hr record. But he never gets satisfied. Im a very realistic person. I never dreamed he would be the player he continues to become. He is so much better right now than he was 6 months ago. I think I underestimated his drive and determination to be the best he can be.

I have no idea how good he will eventually be. But I have no doubt it will be the best he can be. That is definitely good enough for me.

He has exceeded my projection. Some things can just not be projected. You have no way of knowing whats in a kids heart. And whats not.

When my son was 14, I wasn't even thinking about this stuff. So the answer is relatively simple...exceeded.

Looking back at old posts on another site, the day he turned 14 he was about 5'8", 125 lbs and was throwing about 71 mph max on a JUGS. The hope was that he'd follow a fairly standard progression through HS with a year of freshman ball, a year of JV ball, and a couple years of Varsity ball. I really didn't have a feel at that point if he'd be college material. We were hoping he'd hit 6' and although some projections showed he could reach as much as 6'1-1/2" I didn't really believe that would happen. 2-1/4 years later at 16 he's 6'2", 170 lbs and despite losing over a year of pitching due to growth related injuries he's throwing 84 mph max on a JUGS that probably reads a little slower than the JUGS used when he was 14. (Another school had him consistently at 83 on their JUGS during a game and he was 80-81 on a Stalker during another winter game when he also didn't realize he was being gunned.) He showed very good command during his limited stint pitching at the JV level last season where he dominated, but has picked up a couple bad habits and is struggling a bit with his control during varsity winter ball. (We found a difference on some old clips and got him to work on going back to what he used to do during his last pen and his control was much improved.) Even so, his results have been fairly good as he's got good movement on the fastball and in the words of one D1 coach a breaking ball that could get outs at the D1 level right now. We're still hoping that he'll follow that standard progression but after talking to the parents of another pitcher from his school who was kept on JV as a junior, when he was probably throwing mid 80s or more (That's just a guess as I asked his college coach and he said the kid was throwing high 80s and touching 90 on a Stalker after his HS junior season.), and now going into his junior season in college is considered by some to have a chance to be one of the top 10 picks in the first round of the draft this year, we're a little leery of his chances of staying on the standard track, but he still may get the chance. My crystal ball is pretty fuzzy at the moment but I think he's ahead of where I thought he'd be as far as talent so far, but a bit behind where I thought he'd be as far as level, playing time, etc.

As far as expectations/hopes for the future we've got to see how he progresses over the next year or more and then see if there's a good fit for him academically and athletically at some level of college ball.

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It wasn't until 16 when he stood out against a juco team that I thought he could go beyond HS. Looking back, I'm sure glad that I was able to get out of his way.

Boy, does that sound familiar. A year after watching the juco games, he was striking those guys out in fall scout team games. Suddenly, my baseball theory and instruction held less value, and rightly so. The less he listened, the better he got, the less I instructed, the better he got.

For 14 year olds, it was always a little disheartening when the other team showed up and some of their guys had side-burns or mustaches. Usually meant we were in for a tough game that day Thus, it was hard to tell sometimes.

I never thought much about high school, college or pro at the lower levels. I was just a lowly stat keeper hoping for the best for my son.

I am usually too shy to post on a thread like this. It is hard for me to describe what my son has achieved since he was 14, only 3 years ago. Did I “expect” him to be where he is now? NO!. Did I have hopes and aspirations for him? YES! Did I do everything in MY power to help him succeed? YES! Did I have rose-colored-glasses on during this time? Hmmm, YES definitely! I believe as a parent you always have a much better impression of your own than others do.

We started out with a list of D1, D2, JUCO and even a NAIA school in the mix that we wanted to visit and check out. We started visiting schools at the top of “our” list and received early offers from our top two choices. My son entered his senior year with a baseball scholarship offer from the best D1 school and baseball program in the SEC! He has received a lot of interest from MLB teams for the upcoming draft. I am so proud of him I can’t begin to describe such feelings. Since I did not know what to expect along the way he has most certainly exceeded my expectations. I have read and used the advice and information available on this web site. Thanks for all your help! I just HOPE he can continue to succeed at the next level as he has up to this point.

I just don't know. I'll have a better idea when he is finished.

For now just hoping things keep going in the right direction.

My son has exceeded my expectations already. at 14 like many of you we just wanted him to make the freshmen team and then be a starter. i remember 7 kids were taken to JV as freshmen and he wasnt one of them. I told him focus on the goal and keep working hard. when JV started the next year all 7 of those guys were of course starters, my son started as a 1/2 time player playing second and hitting 9th. when the stats came out about 7 games into season my son was hitting over .500 so the head coach pulled him aside and said start practicing at SS on your own, which w e did and about 2 weeks after he was the starting ss and leading off.that trend has continued and he just keeps working hard and trains hard, was a starter as a junior and was voted the best hitter on the team.so he too is a late bloomer and my glasses are off but my son still wants to shoot for the stars. sometimes you never know. will be good to see how it goes. right now he is headed for a jc.just talked to the counselor and feel positive about the possibilities.

I would say it was more difficult to project that he would become 6'5" and 215lbs as a junior. The baseball stuff wasn't as surprising since he seemed to be born for this game.

I had projected him as D1. Was he coming out of HS...no (TR and others told me "you are who you are based on the interest you get from schools"). He ended up at the local D3...even after a stellar senior year in HS.

Now...at 6'1" 200 and a 6.6-ish 60...I KNOW he is a D1 player based on what I have seen in his development physically and on the ballfield (and I have been around D1 ball for 15 years). But he is happy where he is and is starting...and THAT is what counts (hmmm, good topic for another thread). He will have his chance to prove his metal in summer ball.

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He will have his chance to prove his metal in summer ball.

Wrong. He will get a chance to prove his wood this summer

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For 14 year olds, it was always a little disheartening when the other team showed up and some of their guys had side-burns or mustaches.

My son filled in for a 16U team when he was thirteen. When I dropped him off for BP I told him these kids have nothing on him except a foot (growth), sideburns and car keys.

What's missing on the board are the parents with high expectations of their kids at fourteen, who bombed out. The people left on the board are those with successes.

Let's go the other way with this for those of us with thirteen to fifteen years olds. What do you expect to happen, or hope to happen? We can revisit it in a few years.

My son is a fourteen year old freshman with a late spring birthday. He'll skip the freshman team and start JV, with a long shot to make varsity. I hope he's playing baseball for an Ivy or reasonably comparable academic college in a few years. Even before playing high school ball I believe he'll at least be able to play at a quality D3 (Tufts, Williams) program. The big part is he has to continue to want it and do the work, on both sides (academic and athletic). The potential hazzard is he's good at two other sports which could cut into his preparation if he doesn't drop one eventually. Heaven forbid he chooses college (ugh) s****r over baseball. He'll be the starting varsity goalie as a soph.

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Originally posted by infidel_08:
I would say it was more difficult to project that he would become 6'5" and 215lbs as a junior. The baseball stuff wasn't as surprising since he seemed to be born for this game.

I can relate to that.

Now, you HAVE FUN!

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Originally posted by ClevelandDad:

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He will have his chance to prove his metal in summer ball.

Wrong. He will get a chance to prove his wood this summer

picker of nits!

My expectations with both of my sons were - and continue to be - exactly the same.

I had expectations for the season they were playing - and that was about it.

When they were 12 - I expected they could play at 13.

When they were freshman in high school - I expected they would play the next year.

Never really looked at what a 14 year old might be when he was 20 - so to speak.

Pretty much had expectations on the short side - for the next game - and on the long side - for the next season.

I guess you could ask me this question every season - or maybe even every game in a season - and you would get a different answer.

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When they were 12 - I expected they could play at 13.

When they were freshman in high school - I expected they would play the next year.

Well said. The ladder is climbed a rung at a time. Every game, at bat and inning pitched is a blessing.

I don't think my son throws as hard as people tell me he throws. I do think he's a pretty good middle infielder and an even better outfielder.

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At 14?... Both were already 6’2”+ and strong...one was a full on lefty, one was half a lefty....I already had 25 years fulltime experience recognizing and developing young athletes...I knew for certain that there was some possibilities with the athletic raw material, options, environment, knowledge.

Expectations at 14?... I also knew, and had witnessed, about every pitfall that there was in the youth sports process: parental, external, environmental, physical, and internal. By that time had already witnessed scores of “Can’t misses” with “high expectations” crash...some quickly and horribly.

So we had no expectations...we did however have high hopes of at least 4 more years of shared fun, thrills, spills, challenges, politics, adversity, lessons learned, and good times together as an athletic family...to enjoy and value every last minute together...good and bad...

Results?...Been six and it’s still a heck of a ride. Wake up now every morning, knowing that this wonderful journey rides on thin rail of hard work, dedication, passion, a little talent and a couple bodies that continue to stay healthy. Wake up now every morning thankful for the bounty and vowing to appreciate and value each and every day that the ride continues...still no expectations...just joy...

44
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I did not have rose colored glasses, everyone else did. At 14, I just hoped that he could play in HS. Others told me he was a pitching prospect that if he kept progressing, he would make to college somewhere.

Well they were half right. He pretty much gave up pitching his jr. year of HS. But he is now a freshman at a D1. His positions are listed as C/OF. Those are 2 positions that he had not played at all by the age of 14. In fact, he caught only 1 game in HS. His first freshman game.

Things change.

What a good question!

My son is 21 now. At age 14 he was a freshman in HS, hoping to make varsity. I was hoping he would get some innings pitching for the JV team as a freshman. I had absolutely no thoughts at that age about anything beyond HS baseball for him...and I did not find this site until his sophomore year. Freshman year he ended up being #1 pitcher in the JV rotation and a position starter on varsity, so we were both right. He became the ace of his HS varsity by senior year. He went on to pitch for a small D3 for two years, with some really fun highlights and some big bumps in the road. He has been sidelined by a pitching injury for over a year now, and we hope he will eventually get the chance to play another year of college ball!

I know this has been posted before but maybe in part it will be what RJM is looking for.

We had three sons. One was a basketball player, the other two played baseball.

The older of the two baseball players was outstanding at age 14. As he grew older he set pretty much all the hitting records and some pitching records at his high school. Then did the same thing in Junior College and ended up playing professional baseball for a year. He suffered an injury and hung it up. Went back to finish college but was then ineligible to play at that level.
Being involved in baseball, when he was 14, I thought he might have a chance to play in the Big Leagues someday. (I’m not kidding)

I was wrong!

The younger son was a free spirit type that played to have fun and screw around. At age 14 he was one of, if not, the worst player on his team. I didn’t care if he went very far in the game and was just happy he enjoyed it. I thought maybe he might play some in high school, that’s about it.

Fast forward….

7 or 8 years later he was pitching in front of 50,000 people in the Major Leagues.

At age 14 I didn't think he could ever play in college.

I was wrong!

I don’t think it really matters what we think our children will turn out to be when they’re 14. Things can change drastically and quickly, either way!

Bum, Jr. always seemed behind height-wise, but when he pitched even at that age he was in a zone and I could see the competitive fire. I thought he had a chance to play J.C. ball. He definitely exceeded my expectations.

Great read...

All I know is that the parents I sat with in the stands had VERY high expectations from LL, to Babe Ruth to elite travel teams, to national tournaments, to stellar baseball high schools, and various local and naitonal showcases. But the proverbial truth hits the fan for all.

Most important is that each parent believe in his child's dream (not the parent's dream) and support him in this very difficult quest to play baseball as long as they let you. This may mean anything and everything from playing catch, to hiring professionals to get him to the next level, paying for travel teams, driving him to tournaments, or merely sitting in the stands and being there for him.

At age 14 ours had started high school, a little on the smallish side, but with a very good arm. He grew and developed, and we supported him without being obsessive. He was the ace of his championship team by the time he was a Junior, and now is a college baseball player. As PG stated - "things change drastically" - be prepared.

Reading through these posts I can't help but think about all of the families along the way that moved on to other things besides baseball. Some of them had very high expectations, and placed an enormous amount of pressure on their kids. Sometimes you could see that pressure building and wonder when, not if, something was going to explode. Others were struck with personal tragedy; a friend of my son's lost both parents and nearly died himself in an MVA.
It reminds of just how lucky I am, to be blessed with two healthy kids that are free to pursue their own dreams, and loving wife with whom I can sit back and watch it all happen. I could never take that for granted.

Great topic.
My son has exceeded my "baseball" expectations of him... but not his expectations... History: He was cut from the 7th grade team after just one try out, he was typically the ninth batter in High School, had the highest rate of errors in Legion ball, pitched less then 7 official innings in High School, was never given pitcheing lessons. In college he held his own as a pitcher (same college as Bobblehead's son) but his ERA climbed each year to over 8.00 in his Junior year. Now he is entering his 5th season in MiLB as a pitcher, (probably played against Fungos son a time or two) played as an All Star pitcher after his Short Season, and again after high A ball. He has had a couple of mid-season promotions and he may actually see the MLB level if things fall in place- anything after AA ball has alot to do with "getting the right break at the right time" BUT, he was unwavering in his resolve that he wanted to play professional ball since he was 6 years old. He worked hard, learned alot as he went along, he stayed positive and he didnt listen to the nay-sayers. I admire his resolve and determination but I never thought he would be where he is.

(By the way, I need a little technical help. My User name is screwed up. It should be CSU DAD, not CUS DAD, I am a poor typist. (CUS Dad sounds like I am full of foul language and bad feelings- none if which are true) I can not figure out how to fix my user name. I was Double Dad years ago, but my sporatic attendance here and poor computer skills have lost that too. Any help is appreciated)

Welcome back CSU DAD. That was a great post.