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Parents adjusting to college

FungoFungoHighly Regarded and Beloved Old Timer
Adjusting to college can be very difficult. I think the parents have as much difficulty adjusting to college baseball as do their sons. I’m sure each college is different but let me share some of the differences I had to adjust to and maybe give you some ideas as what you can expect. First off I stayed very involved with my son during his college years. Some parents had longer distances and sacrificed much more that we did to stay involved --- while some parents never showed up at all. I might add that the players didn't seem to mind if the parents were there or not. Big Grin

We had to plan our days off well ahead of time to make the home week-end games. We missed all mid week games --- too far to travel. We would listen to the mid week games on the internet and were able to catch a few games on CSS TV.

Travel: Home games were at least 6 hours away and depending on traffic, could be as much as 8 hours. Many items stayed packed all season long.

Fans: Most of the time the fans don’t know who you are so you hear some pretty cruel things about your son. I had to get used to the fact that the team belonged to the fans --- not the parents and the players. I was just a visitor. I did meet some fans that remain my friends today.

Other Parents: They are in the same boat as you but many are not happy campers. Their son was the star player in high school and suddenly he is on the bench. This happens in high school too but it seems more pronounced in college. Some parents handle this very well and some don’t.

Information: What little information you get tends to leave you in the dark as to what is really going on with the team. No parent newsletters.

Away games: Some parents would make the trip to away games and their son didn’t make the travel list. Pretty sad to see the parents drive hundreds of miles and not even see their son. Away games can be way far away (great distance).

Free time: If you want to stay busy between games you need to develop a transportable hobby. I like photography and would take my laptop and work with digital baseball photographs. Video cameras were prohibited in our ball park.

Hotel/Motel: We reserved rooms for the whole season at an extended stay hotel. College towns tend to have events that sell out the motels. Some parents would purchase condos or houses during the time their son was in college and then sell after he graduated. Most said it was a good investment. While they were investing in re-sellable property, I was looking for cheap gas and food coupons.

It is definitely an adjustment and the rewards can be great. The highs are higher and the lows are lower. Thank goodness the players have developed into young men and can handle it on their own. They even seem to have time to console the frustrated parents --- Big Grin
Fungo
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ClevelandDadClevelandDadHSBBWeb Administrator
quote:
Other Parents: They are in the same boat as you but many are not happy campers. Their son was the star player in high school and suddenly he is on the bench. This happens in high school too but it seems more pronounced in college. Some parents handle this very well and some don’t.


I have experienced this. Some wanted to recount every great moment their son's had in high school in every sport while the game was going on. I didn't have the heart to tell them it was not high school any more.

Your thoughts are good ones Fungo and it just has to be experienced to be appreciated. At the end of a 10 day trip down south last spring my son got his first college start at shortstop. I was almost unable to breath during the game because it was so unexpected. I was terrified he would make a mistake. In the end, he played like a veteren with confidence and I was later somewhat embarrassed for the feelings I had.

Here are my 2 cents. The players need to compete every day like they are going to be the starter and maintain a positive attitude. The parents would do well to lower their expectations and just appreciate things for what they are. There are lots of talented kids who have parents who also want to see their sons play. Somtimes, your son just has to wait his turn and things will take care of themselves.
LadyNmomLadyNmom1,000+ posts
Fungo, with the exception of all the travelling....the peripheral aspects of college ball sounds a lot like high school ball....

With our move to NC we will get to son's home games in about 3 hours....we are so excited.....I'm sure after a few games some of the negatives Fungo mentioned will start to get a little bothersome......but....right now all we can think about is getting to see our kid play baseball again.....
TPMTPMHSBaseballweb Member since 2003
Great, great post Fungo!

12 hours by car not in traffic is a bit much to do every weekend, so we live by gametracker and the Tiger broadcast on the internet and pick up any games we can on TV.

Since they play 5 games a week in season, you know where we are 5 days a week. In 10-11 weeks will be getting back to our tues, wed, fri, sat, sun game routine. Big Grin
ClevelandDadClevelandDadHSBBWeb Administrator
quote:
12 hours by car not in traffic is a bit much to do every weekend, so we live by gametracker and the Tiger broadcast on the internet and pick up any games we can on TV.


TPM - same problem here but from the other direction. No way we can make it down there every weekend. I have to admit though the Internet has really improved things for long distance parents. I saw several games on web TV last year, listend to most via live webcast, and at a bare minimum followed games via live stats or game tracker. Either way it makes it nice to follow things remotely nowadays Smile
B BoomerIL1,000+ posts
Great topic Fungo! I can relate to some of this now, just by having our son away from home these past few months. I might add that we did the parent weekend in October, and he was back for Thanksgiving.

You and I had several conversations in the past few years, about my son wanting to be a catcher, which he was, as the back-up on varsity for three years. He did catch the only two no-hitters during that time frame. Good instructor! He was the starting left fielder during his varsity career. Their team was very, very good and was ranked several times during that span in Baseball America, plus being ranked number one in Illinois a few times as well. I remember our conversations, about dreams and what coaches look for.

I also remember a conversation or two with Tiger Paw Mom, when my son really wanted to look into Clemson. Well as we did discuss with Fungo, his size ceratinly did limit his college choices for baseball. His academics are superior and he did find an excellent school to go to, and play baseball. The University of Rochester. A D3 school.

He feels he will play as a freshman. He lead the team this fall in average, hits, stolen bases, played centerfield, and was their lead-off batter. What more could you ask for!!! He's worked harder than most to play baseball, because of his size, and seen kids of lesser talent get better opportunities, because of "projectability"! No 'sour grapes' for us though, because he has already heard of some of his old teammates being un-happy with their D1 situations. Two have already quit. So he feels fortunate and happy with his school and baseball decision.

This spring will be fun, just like you all have experienced, only our trip is a 9 1/2 hour ride from Chicago, which really isn't that bad. I think I'll be doing those trips by myself. Maybe it's a plus, but as you know, D3 has fewer games, approximately 35-40, depending on play-offs, so I will make less trips than you did. We'll be in Florida in March, so we're (I'm) really excited about that. BUT, him being away, on his "future journey" has really made me sad at times just because I feel I missed telling him, or teaching him something I may have forgotten. He's our last one, and we're "empty nesters" as they say, but I still think about him all of the time, wishing I could watch him workout, or play 'long toss'! Phew, I'm getting ver-klempt!!!!!

Smile
Last edited by BoomerIL
B BoomerIL1,000+ posts
pfbear13....

Thanks!!! It is a great school that many people don't know about or consider. U. of Rochester has been listed as one of the next generation "Ivy" schools, if they were to add to the list. Other schools that are at this level are Emory, Univ. of Chicago, Vanderbilt, NYU, Rice, Notre Dame, Washington Univ. in St.Louis, Carnegie Mellon, U. of Virginia, Boston College, U. of North Carolina, Renesslaer Polytechnic Inst., Skidmore, Olin, Bowdoin, Reed, UCLA, Colagate, Davidson, Claremont, U. of Michigan, and several other smaller schools.

The quality of education at these schools is definitely available, even if they are not 'ivies'. Great alternatives, some with large student populations.
FungoFungoHighly Regarded and Beloved Old Timer
TheEH,
Many of my son's games were televised and I had a friend record them for me. (I didn't receive the games at our home) Since this was a few years back they were all recorded on VHS. Last year I bought a Sony DVDirect recorder and converted every VHS over to DVD. So much nicer than the old VHS. I know you’ll get a lot of enjoyment from your DVDs. Smile
Fungo
P puma1500+ posts
Nine hours here...but I'm ready...traded in the SUV for an economy car, changed work status from a supervisory position to a more flexible role, have all the clean bathrooms scouted, trying to buy a little condo and just need to know where the Troopers are hanging. Hope to make it every other weekend, and am fortunate to have alot of home games scheduled.
P pbonesteele100+ posts
Four hour drive for us. Flying is a no-go since the only direct flight to Fresno is via LAX, so between being cost-prohibitive to fly frequently, and it really doesn't save any time curb-to-curb, we'll be driving.

Given my son is a Frosh, I'm settling in to enjoy whatever innings he earns and just cheering on the team. It is harder now as parents feeling like we're fully "on the outside" with the transition to college, but I recognize that's just part of the his transition into adulthood and being fully responsible for his own path from this point forward.

The other big transition will be that we now know he'll primarly be used as a pitcher this year, so ABs will be few if any ... which means any game he's used in on the hill becomes a precious opportunity. It's not HS ball any more where we can watch him pitch one game, then come back tomorrow and see some ABs. I just pray he keeps working hard, stays focused, stays healthy, and is able to contribute to the team's success. He seems happy and he's getting encouragement from the coaches, i.e., they seem to be happy with him, so I just have to focus on being a great fan and appreciating the fact that he's still playing ball ...
Last edited by pbonesteele
S spizzlepop1,000+ posts
pbonesteele,
Like you, I am resigned to the whatever of a frosh season, and I try to remain on-task of being the best long distance father/fan that I can be. Long distance really changes the level of involvement for sure, and so does the transition to college. I echo your sentiments about those precious opportunities. One of my goals is to attend son's games in every conference city, but it won't happen this year.
Our sons could actually match up at some point seeing that they're in the same conference. Mine's a LHP at UH. Fortunately for me they televise all of the home games in Honolulu, that's why Dad04's solution with the Slingbox is such a great idea. Not sure about the road games. Maybe I can pick up the feed from Fresno when they're there. If I do make it to Fresno at some point we'll have to share some more tips as well as some of those precious moments.
N 2ndbasemom100+ posts
Great and informative post Fungo...last year was son's Freshman year....We didn't care...bought airline tickets in Jan. for Feb. start in Florida...not really knowing if he was going to play, but he'd be there and so would his team.
Figured this would be a great starting point of meeting the other parents,since we weren't the home team and would be kinda grouped together. (it helped) To our surprise, son got into the last game of the series and hit a home run!!!!
"Tickets to Florida...$250, Sons 1st College homer...PRICELESS!"

We made the 4 1/2 hr drive EVERY weekend home series...
Took lots of Friday vacation days and went into work on Mondays really tired...But with the knowledge that son at least ATE well those weekends! Plan on doing the same this year. For all parents, Freshman year is not the only time son will be likely to be on the bench...We are finding out that it comes with every new season. Son was lucky enough to be starting 2nd baseman for all but 3 or 4 games his freshman year, but thi year its still up in the air. Darned those new freshman recruits!!!! lol

Have fun all, it's all over in the blink of an eye!
S spizzlepop1,000+ posts
quote:
You may want to contact the station that broadcasts the games and see if you can purchase tapes or DVD's of them.


Thanks for the tip Bear. That's a good possibility. I just found an internet package for UH games, but not all of the games are offered.

I still want to find feeds for road games televised in away cities. I'm wondering if Slingboxes can be networked somehow so that others could "borrow" the feed. Sharing is caring, right?
Dad04Dad045,000+ posts
quote:
I still want to find feeds for road games televised in away cities. I'm wondering if Slingboxes can be networked somehow so that others could "borrow" the feed. Sharing is caring, right?


Only one computer can log in to a SlingBox at a time. You would have to find a way to put the signal back up on the net, which is above my internet pay grade.
P pbonesteele100+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by Dad04:
Only one computer can log in to a SlingBox at a time. You would have to find a way to put the signal back up on the net, which is above my internet pay grade.


One idea would to 'share' a video being viewed on a particular desktop PC would be to set it up for remote access to outside 'guest' users, then share the desktop experience via NetMeeting. It would take some coordination among folks willing to open up their computer to guest users to access thier NetMeeting session (i.e., security settings, firewall settings, etc.), and I'm not sure what the video frame refresh rate would look like for the remote users viewing the NetMeeting session ... the video is likely to be a bit herky-jerky.
Last edited by pbonesteele
FungoFungoHighly Regarded and Beloved Old Timer
Great idea JH. Looking back over the years my son played college ball 2002-2005 I (we) have a lot of great memories. From time to time I will pop in a DVD and watch a game --- some brings smiles and some brings a moistness to my eyes. His framed jersey still hangs in the living room. Memorabilia pops up from time to time in a drawer or a closet. What would I have done differently? --- I guess more pictures with his teammates would be something I wish I had more of because friendships mean a lot. I also wish I had kept a brief diary of each game because things seem to run together after so many games and the passing of time. I know that some day he and his wife will have kids that will also enjoy the videos and pictures. I don't live in the past but it's a real treat to look over your shoulder from time to time.
War Eagle!
Fungo
Last edited by Fungo
CT Clint Taylor100+ posts
Thanks Fungo - Very good post for a dad of a freshman, especially the advice about pictures of him and his teammates. I also like the idea of a brief diary which can help put words to the memories.
By the way, I still hope Bama sweeps the 4 games this year.

I am a Georgia grad pulling for his Alabama son, "who says blood is not thicker than water"?
RTR!!!

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