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These polls are amongst the most active I've seen on the HSBB Web. A topic that people seem to care about.
I thought that "A second chance" would recieve more support.
That is because "They should get one second chance" is a consequence/punishment statement, and doesn't pertain to the yes/no question asked.
Trying to benchmark how parents & coaches feel regarding whether drinking is acceptable is a waste, as I'm sure the responses will be 100% Not Acceptable to 0% Is Acceptable.
Since CONSEQUENCE seems to be the driving issue, put up a new poll and keep the question and answers relevant:
Of the choices below, which do you feel is the more appropriate for a student athlete that is caught drinking?
1. One and Done, Gone!
2. Serve a Punishment, And Get Another Chance
Have one poll for adults, and another for kids as they are two distinct populations.
I'd like to know if this generation of adults is willing to give this generation of teenagers another chance. As they are so much different than we ever were. Then we can discuss the severity of the punishment, and how many chances is enuff before the athletic career is over.
Trying to benchmark how parents & coaches feel regarding whether drinking is acceptable is a waste, as I'm sure the responses will be 100% Not Acceptable to 0% Is Acceptable.
Since CONSEQUENCE seems to be the driving issue, put up a new poll and keep the question and answers relevant:
Of the choices below, which do you feel is the more appropriate for a student athlete that is caught drinking?
1. One and Done, Gone!
2. Serve a Punishment, And Get Another Chance
Have one poll for adults, and another for kids as they are two distinct populations.
I'd like to know if this generation of adults is willing to give this generation of teenagers another chance. As they are so much different than we ever were. Then we can discuss the severity of the punishment, and how many chances is enuff before the athletic career is over.
My college freshman son did not party during high school. He did not want to break any laws. And when he signed the code of conduct, it meant something to him. He did not do anything to violate that, and when he signed it, he gave his word of honor.
He gave his word of honor.
He would not do anything that would jeopardize his playing the game, the sport, that he loved so much.
He gave his word of honor.
He would not do anything that would jeopardize his playing the game, the sport, that he loved so much.
I believe the first time the player breaks the rule IS the second chance... the first chance was when he heard the rule and the consequences attached to a violation. Should players be able to break every training rule/honor code item one time?
I do know that how the honor code (or athletic code or whatever you call it at your particular school) is upheld is often entirely dependent on the coach, which is wrong. There should be no room for negotiation. And no, I'm not a "zero tolerance" kind of person, but letting kids know that everyone gets off easy their first time is simply inviting kids to try. And I think most every one would agree that kids RARELY get caught on the first time - note that I didn't say NEVER, just RARELY - so how much risk have they taken up to that point? How many times did they drive after drinking or experiment with a dangerous substance? Should we rely on luck and hope they all survive high school? Or should we establish guidelines with an expectation that our kids CAN live up to them and then enforce the consequences for those who choose not to?
Our high school coach is a strict, no-nonsense kind of guy. The kids know that he will always be fair, but he will never look the other way. And sometimes one player will be the cautionary tale for many years to come. We had a pitcher a number of years ago who had a D-1 scholarship waiting for him. Coach learned he had been drinking before prom (with his dad, no less) from the limo driver who also happened to be coach's friend. The only ones who knew were the coach and the player. Player was suspended for the remainder of the season, ended up at local JC for two years. Came back several years later and thanked the coach - told him it was the first time anyone had ever held him accountable, and it changed his life. And isn't that what all this is really about - shaping kids into the adults we know they can become?
Kids will make mistakes, no doubt about it. But some "mistakes" can ruin your life - alcohol and/or drugs are usually behind those kinds of mistakes. My older kids have told me that in high school being able to say "sorry, I won't do that - I signed the honor code and my sport is too important to me" was even more effective than "I can't - my mom would kill me!"
Parents who believe "kids will be kids" are the biggest problem of all. We have raised our kids to understand that you can have it all - just not all at the same time. You will have a time in your life when you can drink if you choose, but now is the ONLY time you have to play your chosen sport. You have your whole life to engage in adult behavior (they love when I start to specify!) but you only get one shot at high school. Don't sell yourself short.
I do know that how the honor code (or athletic code or whatever you call it at your particular school) is upheld is often entirely dependent on the coach, which is wrong. There should be no room for negotiation. And no, I'm not a "zero tolerance" kind of person, but letting kids know that everyone gets off easy their first time is simply inviting kids to try. And I think most every one would agree that kids RARELY get caught on the first time - note that I didn't say NEVER, just RARELY - so how much risk have they taken up to that point? How many times did they drive after drinking or experiment with a dangerous substance? Should we rely on luck and hope they all survive high school? Or should we establish guidelines with an expectation that our kids CAN live up to them and then enforce the consequences for those who choose not to?
Our high school coach is a strict, no-nonsense kind of guy. The kids know that he will always be fair, but he will never look the other way. And sometimes one player will be the cautionary tale for many years to come. We had a pitcher a number of years ago who had a D-1 scholarship waiting for him. Coach learned he had been drinking before prom (with his dad, no less) from the limo driver who also happened to be coach's friend. The only ones who knew were the coach and the player. Player was suspended for the remainder of the season, ended up at local JC for two years. Came back several years later and thanked the coach - told him it was the first time anyone had ever held him accountable, and it changed his life. And isn't that what all this is really about - shaping kids into the adults we know they can become?
Kids will make mistakes, no doubt about it. But some "mistakes" can ruin your life - alcohol and/or drugs are usually behind those kinds of mistakes. My older kids have told me that in high school being able to say "sorry, I won't do that - I signed the honor code and my sport is too important to me" was even more effective than "I can't - my mom would kill me!"
Parents who believe "kids will be kids" are the biggest problem of all. We have raised our kids to understand that you can have it all - just not all at the same time. You will have a time in your life when you can drink if you choose, but now is the ONLY time you have to play your chosen sport. You have your whole life to engage in adult behavior (they love when I start to specify!) but you only get one shot at high school. Don't sell yourself short.
mythreesons:
Your entire post is very well said. Especially these sentences. They are worth repeating.
Your entire post is very well said. Especially these sentences. They are worth repeating.
quote:Originally posted by mythreesons:
Kids will make mistakes, no doubt about it. But some "mistakes" can ruin your life - alcohol and/or drugs are usually behind those kinds of mistakes.
Both the Parents and Coaches Poll and the Players Poll recieved more interest than any other poll that I have seen on the Illinois Site.
I think the players may have been more honest than the parents. If parents feel it is unacceptable why then do we have so many kids drinking? I suppose that if you are looking to place blame of fault, there is enough to go around for everyone.
I give credit to those kids who use good judgement and those who don't allow peer pressure to push them into a place where they don't want to be. It isn't always easy.
This whole incident doesn't reflect one school's kids any more than another's because I am relatively certain that this could happen at just about every school to some degree. And that is unfortunate.
I think the players may have been more honest than the parents. If parents feel it is unacceptable why then do we have so many kids drinking? I suppose that if you are looking to place blame of fault, there is enough to go around for everyone.
I give credit to those kids who use good judgement and those who don't allow peer pressure to push them into a place where they don't want to be. It isn't always easy.
This whole incident doesn't reflect one school's kids any more than another's because I am relatively certain that this could happen at just about every school to some degree. And that is unfortunate.