Parents......don't be "that guy"

Sadly there are a ton of those guys out there

My kid is a freshman at a D3.  The entire roster is jam packed with talented players, kids who were All Conference in high school, highly rated by PBR, 3 or 4 year varsity high school starters etc who are sitting the bench.  And none of them think it’s “unfair”.  The talent is very high, exasperated by the roster logjams following the pandemic.

There’s a freshman RHP on my kid’s team who throws 85-86 who hasn’t even gotten an inning yet.  The only player on the team who might realistically be D1 material is the Junior who was an All American last year and is among the leading D3 hitters in the nation this year. And that’s a maybe.  And maybe the lefty freshman ace of the team who somehow got overlooked by D1’s

the “those guy” parents are going to be shocked when their kid gets to a D3 and barely plays or never plays until they are a Junior or Senior.

Covid isn't the only epidemic we're dealing with these days.  I'd bet that upwards of 80% of players and parents believe their kid will play D1 baseball. Or at least somewhere along the line, they believed that.  For most, the reality that D1 won't happen doesn't come until senior year of HS or some time during college. And even then, many still believe the only reason it didn't happen was because a kid got "screwed" somewhere along the way. Lots of people will come out with their brazen bravado, but I'm telling you, LOTS of players and parents who come out tell you they understand Johnny isn't D1-caliber, only SAY it. But in their heads they either believe D1 will happen or that it can happen.  Lots of false modesty out there. 

There are countless machines out there guaranteeing the epidemic continues. You would actually think Covid's impacts on college baseball might temper the problem a little. The idea being that lots more players are running into a harsh reality. But I actually think the opposite is true. Covid simply becomes a great explanation for why your kid isn't D1 YET. Full disclosure. I am one of those poor fools. My 2021 got close to 2-3 D1 offers out of high school, but they never came.  He's going the Juco route to extend his opportunity to play D1 ball.  The fact that my son did get legit D1 interest is the only reason I think it's still possible for him. But I know LOTS of kids/parents where the kid got only NAIA offers/interest, yet is going the Juco route for the chance to play D1 ball.

Maybe I’m too much of a cynic, but when people start throwing numbers or accolades in a conversation, whether it’s offers, velocity, golf score, etc., I immediately assume they’re exaggerating.

In my experience, those who have had true success, are typically humble about their accomplishments

My golden rule is to never volunteer anything about my son unless directly asked (i.e., has he committed, where did he camp, etc). Has served me very well. It's often better to listen than speak.

@CTbballDad posted:

Maybe I’m too much of a cynic, but when people start throwing numbers or accolades in a conversation, whether it’s offers, velocity, golf score, etc., I immediately assume they’re exaggerating.

Dam you got me on that one..... 

Isn’t this thread just begging for a response by @IAmThatGuy?

I sometimes go the opposite route just to mess with people who brag about their kids.  I’ll tell them that my son is still throwing 72 and running a 8.6 60, just like when he was in 8th grade, but we’re excited because his exit velocity is up to 78 now.  The look of confusion on their face is priceless.  (My kid is 6’2” 200 pounds and lives in the weight room)

@adbono posted:

Isn’t this thread just begging for a response by @IAmThatGuy?

Internet connection is a little spotty in Punta Cana

I told a parent my kid received a full ride to play D3...from the mom and dad foundation.

I'm a contrarian.  Over the years, "that guy" has kept me entertained and laughing uncontrollably on the inside. Every year we get a "guy" to join us on HSBBWeb who is not at a loss to tell us everything we don't know.  It amazes me how much we don't know, and we're regularly reminded how much we don't know by these experts.   

Please keep those fish stories coming!  There are just too many to mention here.   This keeps HSBBWeb entertaining!

@adbono posted:

Isn’t this thread just begging for a response by @IAmThatGuy?

Imagine my surprise when I log on to HSBBW and read about how Buckeye2015 and I could have two completely different take aways from our conversation the other night….

Not sure if she will tell it, but Paula has the best ever story of a joker bragging to Kenny!

I asked a guy who claimed he played for a certain perennially ranked program if he played in the CWS. He said no since he was there between two of their well known pitchers. As a Sox fan I knew these two pitchers were the same age and were college teammates. The guy got a high school head coaching job having this ranked program on his resume. The guy had attended and played at University of Big State. But at the Timbuktu campus.

My son played Legion for the guy after senior year. He said he was a cool guy and a great coach. I liked the guy. So, I never said a word.

We all know a "that guy". We all have to be careful or we will be him too cause we all want what's best for our kids and want others to think highly of them

One of my favorites was in coach pitch league. Coach pitch with 7 and 8 year old players.

Dad: "You know my Junior is a prospect?"

Me: "What kind of prospect?"

Dad: "A pro prospect"

Me: "Dude at this point, depending on your perspective, either all of them are prospects or none of them are prospects".

I think that confused him pretty good

@Good Knight posted:

Not sure if she will tell it, but Paula has the best ever story of a joker bragging to Kenny!

I'm more than a little worried that joker was me.

@RJM posted:

I asked a guy who claimed he played for a certain perennially ranked program if he played in the CWS. He said no since he was there between two of their well known pitchers. As a Sox fan I knew these two pitchers were the same age and were college teammates. The guy got a high school head coaching job having this ranked program on his resume. The guy had attended and played at University of Big State. But at the Timbuktu campus.

My son played Legion for the guy after senior year. He said he was a cool guy and a great coach. I liked the guy. So, I never said a word.

Oh yeah I’ve run into several coaches over the years who claimed to have pro playing experience.  Then you go on Baseball Reference and discover they had 3 at bats or 1/3 of an inning pitched in rookie ball.  I mean, technically that is a pro career (further than I got!) but still, when that’s the first thing on the resume and your website, I don’t know.  “Former White Sox infielder”.  OK then

i know coaches resumes are off topic but the 2 best coaches my kids have run across.

1 was an ex player topped at AA the other was a guy who couldn't hardly throw or hit I/O but was an amazing communicator of the game, situations and technique. The most over rated thing in all of baseball is a coaches playing history, it is utterly meaningless.

I don’t agree that a coaches playing history is meaningless. I think it means a lot - and the higher the level they played tends to equate to them knowing more about the game.

Good coaching involves 3 major elements.

Knowledge of the game and how it is played is critical. The more a coach played and the higher he played is one important aspect.

Being a student of the game as he played at each level is another.

Being a good communicator able to teach all that was learned is the third.

As with anything in life I shy away from extremes, so I wouldn't say a coaches playing history means nothing, but I also think a large percentage of the job is around emotional intelligence or people skills that have little to do with playing/coaching history. Playing and coaching experience counts for being better informed to organize activities like practices and game prep, and playing/coaching experience can help with communication. But I've also seen plenty of examples of excellent college/pro players being terrible communicators - mostly because they completely lacked emotional intelligence, perspective and a growth mindset.

Years ago, I was taught that the people who talk about "how much money they have" really don't have as much as you think and the people WHO ARE REALLY RICH AND WELL OFF never talk about their money and let people know how much they have, etc.

I've found the same works with baseball parents and them talking about their kids.

Infield Dad:

excellent points. During one of our journey's to Korea, our American HS Team played the National Teams from Japan and Korea. In this Goodwill Series the 3 teams were very equal. All games are film on Korea and Japan TV.

At a breakfast after the 3rd day. Mr Kito the V-p of Japan HS Baseball made a statement that I will NOT forget.

He said Japan's "Head Coach is a very good #2 Coach but not a #1 Coach"!

Teaching players "how to win" is important to a team.

Bob

Knowing how to effectively communicate knowledge and information to a player is essential to being a good coach. There is no question about that - and ex players are not always effective at communicating what they know to others. Some players know how to play the game but don’t know how to teach it. But almost without exception I have found that people that say “playing experience doesn’t matter “ never got very far in their playing career (if they ever had one at all).

I don’t care how much playing experience a coach has as much as I care about how good of a coach they are. I just think it’s funny the way that some in the coaching industry, especially those in the travel ball world, exaggerate their playing experience.

@knownothingdad posted:

I'm more than a little worried that joker was me.

I get it on two levels.  I love when people talk to me about church and I ask what church they go to and they say they are members of my church not knowing I'm the pastor.  I usually ask a lot of questions to get them talking then ask who their pastor is.  After they name some guy 10 years ago, I introduce myself as the pastor of my/their church.  Smile and walk away and say look forward to seeing you Sunday.

Other side.  I had a guy see my UT stuff the other day and told me that UT was recruiting their kid.  They had invited him to a camp this summer and all this stuff.  I let him talk and talk and asked who his son had talked to and he couldn't remember the guys name.  His son, 2023, throws 82 RHP and SS.  After a long conversation, one sided, I said looking forward to seeing you at UT games.  My son is one of the pitchers.  He got this strange look for some reason.

@3and2Fastball posted:

I don’t care how much playing experience a coach has as much as I care about how good of a coach they are. I just think it’s funny the way that some in the coaching industry, especially those in the travel ball world, exaggerate their playing experience.

Coaches and former players now dads. There's this thing called the internet. Full of information! I've found/caught a lot of guys in lies with just a few clicks.

Well, many parents don't understand that getting a camp invite is not being recruited.  That's a common misunderstanding.  So I cut those people a bit of slack.  I remember getting excited about some emails that, in hindsight, turned out to be nothing.

The discussion about having played at a high level vs. communicating is like the discussion of measurables vs. skills/IQ.  To be successful, you basically have to have BOTH, although there are of course exceptions.

@3and2Fastball posted:

I don’t care how much playing experience a coach has as much as I care about how good of a coach they are. I just think it’s funny the way that some in the coaching industry, especially those in the travel ball world, exaggerate their playing experience.

They exaggerate b/c they believe it makes them more credible. But when you find out differently all credibility goes right out the window. Ironic, isn’t it?

@old_school posted:

i know coaches resumes are off topic but the 2 best coaches my kids have run across.

1 was an ex player topped at AA the other was a guy who couldn't hardly throw or hit I/O but was an amazing communicator of the game, situations and technique. The most over rated thing in all of baseball is a coaches playing history, it is utterly meaningless.

I believe playing background matters. But it has to be combined with the ability to explain and teach. I’ve seen guys who played at high levels talk over the age group’s heads.

When I got out of college I coached Babe Ruth (13-15) baseball. It was an interesting age to coach. It was kids hitting the big field to kids who were high school freshmen. I spent a lot of time in front of the mirror figuring out how I hit and pitched and explain it in a manner kids could understand.

@anotherparent posted:

Well, many parents don't understand that getting a camp invite is not being recruited.  That's a common misunderstanding.  So I cut those people a bit of slack.  I remember getting excited about some emails that, in hindsight, turned out to be nothing.

The discussion about having played at a high level vs. communicating is like the discussion of measurables vs. skills/IQ.  To be successful, you basically have to have BOTH, although there are of course exceptions.

A coach talking to a player isn’t even being recruited. Being recruited is when the coaching staff starts talking about offer and the player feels pursued.

Holly shit, I swing by here every once and a while and it's like watching reruns of Bar Rescue, the same old shit rehashed over and over again. 200 guest, about 10-15 members making fun of "that parent". Man don't some of you have something better to do? Cut the lawn, take out the dog, beat the wife and or kids.... At least let the "that parent" shit go. You've beat that horse's bones into the ground, beat that ground into the ground, sifted that ground out, sprinkled it onto new ground, and started beating it.

What we've been up to. Kid told to look elsewhere by new coach, found a home, covid year, played very well the following fall but shelved because elbow hurt. Good spring, second series of the season shut down, Tommy John. Ramped up this spring. Bone bruise in hand, no hitting for almost six weeks. Ramping back up. Last weekend 3/5 over two games with two runs scored and six rbi's and a monster HR with one K. What did that get him, benched the next game, no shit. This for a mid-major with a 59 rpi. Maybe analytics and "going to the instant replay" to make calls are a better subject than "that guy".

Possibly you are the one that needs a new hobby, if small things like this so upset you.

Maybe you could learn to ignore the things that don't interest you?

@Good Knight posted:

Possibly you are the one that needs a new hobby, if small things like this so upset you.

Maybe you could learn to ignore the things that don't interest you?

It's just sad to see what this forum has become. Make no mistake your post highlights that.

@SomeBaseballDad posted:

It's just sad to see what this forum has become. Make no mistake your post highlights that.

Weird that it bothered you so much that you would reply.  If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t visit let alone post.  A lot of people here helped me, and I appreciate their input.  

@adbono posted:

Knowing how to effectively communicate knowledge and information to a player is essential to being a good coach. There is no question about that - and ex players are not always effective at communicating what they know to others. Some players know how to play the game but don’t know how to teach it. But almost without exception I have found that people that say “playing experience doesn’t matter “ never got very far in their playing career (if they ever had one at all).

cute, incorrect but cute.

@oldschoolold_school, what I described has been my experience over the years. For you to claim that my experience is “incorrect” is absurd. If your experience is different so be it.

Is it me or is Don't be that guy the whole point of Social Media?  Seems safe to say that genie is out of the bottle and never going back in....

@Dadof3 posted:

Weird that it bothered you so much that you would reply.  If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t visit let alone post.  A lot of people here helped me, and I appreciate their input.  

I know it's the way here but try not to overthink it. I was drinking and board.