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Parent's Meeting - Rules & Regs - Contact Info

CoachB25CoachB25Honorary "Old TImer"
After reading so many critical posts on coaches, I was wondering how many of your coaches have a parent's meeting? We do. We set up all of the criteria for meetings with parents as well. We ask that the player and the parents meet and that the AD be present. The AD's job is as a mediator and to prevent the situation from getting out of hand. Also, I feel that the parents are more comfortable knowing that my boss is sitting in on this meeting. Well, just wanted to see how many schools do/have this meeting.

BTW, if I were to cuss around any of my players and this were brought up in front of my AD, I would be fired instantly!

"There comes a time when you have to stop dreaming of the man you want to be and start being the man you have become." Bruce Springsteen
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Dad04Dad045,000+ posts
Coach

I think meetings are a good idea and option A, if the AD will do it.

What would happen if you got caught pinning(phyically restraining) little-pinch-runner-kid, up against the back of the dugout wall, after he got picked off, screaming like a Marine DI? I assume physicaly assaulting while swearing is bad too?
W Will1,000+ posts
Critical posts on coaches are from parents who are critical of their sons coach. They are critical with one view in mind. How it affects their son. Did he play? How much did he play? If he did not play who played before him on and on. It is from one perspective and a biased one at that. There is another point of view and it comes from the coach. His point of view comes from a differnt perspective entirely. Are the coaches always right .NO Do some do things that are underhanded and not fair to a kid. Yes. 20-30 years ago meetings with parents and coaches and athletic directors were unheard of. Why today. I will ask the question. Is it because of the parents or the coaches?
CoachB25CoachB25Honorary "Old TImer"
Will, I can only speak for myself, I know parents want a channel to speak about their son. I am extremely competitive and I have a short temper. I think that my AD's input is great. As far as physically throwing a kid, nope I would be fired. In 18 years, I have cussed once at a player. That was the big one. I was mad because he gave up on himself. I only said the big bad word once and it was such a shock that I didn't say anything else for a moment or two and then tried to get him focused again on the game. I apologized to him. I went to the parents and told them. I then we to the AD and told him. I felt terrible. It should never happen. The parents knew that it wasn't done maliciously and I didn't call him anything. If you are looking for perfection, as far as I know, its only been done once in the history of mankind. It certainly isn't me. I do think that these meeting are important and I don't think many programs do them. Our will be coming up as soon as we get our teams set. Our Freshmen are having their last tryouts today. Then, we will see the forecast and try to have the meeting on Saturday. Our brochure is 8 pages long. I think that I have covered everything that needs to be covered.

"There comes a time when you have to stop dreaming of the man you want to be and start being the man you have become." Bruce Springsteen
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Bighit15Bighit155,000+ posts
Will, try not to generalize. lol

I suppose that if I said that all posts critical of parents come from insecure coaches who come from one perspective, a biased one at that, that I would be right just because I said it? I don't want to answer to anybody, I didn't use to have to be accountable, times are changing and I don't want to because I used to not to have to, AD's never made us follow guidlines before, etc etc etc. Gee you don't think that I am clumping all of you guys together am I. Well that is what you are doing.

quote:
Is it because of the parents or the coaches?


Did it ever occur to you that it is both? The climate of hs athletics, good or bad, is changing. Your unwillingness to accept it and to label all parents as whiners makes you a dinosaur. I understand the coach needs to be in charge and I have never whined about my sons coach. I just recognize the need for coaches to accept the changing climate. If guys like you don't want to deal with it, then fine quit. Others will come along and take your place and you can sit back and complain about it. Or, you could grow as a coach and a person and understand the dynamic and deal with it. How did you ever get off of the bike and drive a car with all the inconvenience and moving parts to deal with.

I just get sick of everybody who disagrees with you being labeled as a whiner parent. If some parents are a-holes then fine deal with them, just don't clump me in and gereralize. Most of my son's coaches are clueless, does that make you clueless? I have stated many times that most of the coaches on this site are probably better than most. Try to give some of the parents the same credit. It has gotten to the point here where any poster who has a coach complaint is ganged up on and their parental ability is called into question. Stop it.

the Florida Bombers
"I love the HSBBW"
W Will1,000+ posts
Big Hit

We have disagreed on this issue and that is ok. I never said all parents are whiners that is your take. I simply said that when there is a problem it comes from 2 differnt perspectives. I asked a question. Do not worry I have been called worse. I was a coach. I saw things from that perspective. I have a son who at times got jerked around in high school and at times during the summer season. So I sort of have a feel for what goes on. As far as being called a dinosaur I take no offense.I have been called worse. There are many of us dinosaurs who contribute to this board and will continue to do so.
E eagle_fan100+ posts
BigHit,
You are correct, the answer is both, and society in general. I have already posted in another thread that if you even hint at anything other than 100% praise for coaches, you'll be ganged up on by several here. These people must live under a rock. I personally know excellent high school coaches, and I personally know some pathetic ones. I also know many excellent college coaches, and a few pitiful ones too. THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MY SON'S PLAYING TIME, OR WHETHER OR NOT THE COACH THINKS MY SON IS AS GOOD AS I THINK HE IS! It's just the way it is. I think a lot of the time, a coach that is the big bad boss, refuses to meet with parents, my way or the highway, etc, is simply insecure. My son is currently in high school. Do I love everything his coach says & does? No. That doesn't mean that I don't like him as a coach, that just means that I have a brain and it works. Do I request a meeting with the coach every time he says or does something I don't like? No. He's an excellent coach, and has been nothing short of wonderful to and for my son. He's also my son's friend, which is fine because he still disciplines him when necessary, and maintains their relationship in the proper way. And he's my friend, but I don't have to agree with everything he says and does. He knows that I have and will disagree with him on things. How does he know? Because he asked me. And when he asks, I'm honest with him. He doesn't mind either. A couple of times he has that said he made a mistake, other times we just agree to disagree. That's it. No evil parent/unfair coach syndrome. We just move on. I know what his heart is, so I gladly stay out of the way and stay quiet unless asked, and have entrusted my son to him to do with as he sees fit. Would I request a meeting if I thought it was necessary? Absolutely. If my son was grossly mistreated or recklessly abused either verbally or physically. If he refused, we would have a talk right then and there. But if I did ask to talk to my son's coach, he wouldn't mind anyway, as he also knows my intentions. And he's not insecure, or worried about someone questioning his authority. Just because you don't agree with someone doesn't mean that you're against them, or everyone in their profession, or that you're a troublemaker.
Bighit15Bighit155,000+ posts
quote:
Critical posts on coaches are from parents who are critical of their sons coach. They are critical with one view in mind. How it affects their son. Did he play? How much did he play? If he did not play who played before him on and on.


Will,
That is your quote. It says what it says.

Eagle_fan, nice post. That is the way I feel about my son's coach as well.

the Florida Bombers
"I love the HSBBW"
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BK'sMOMBK'sMOM1,000+ posts
Example...

Good coach - calls me using MY son's cell phone outside of weight room at the high school last year in February....says, "You need to get a doctor's note with regard to specific weights BEING required of your son...they are going to hurt his arm...(after talking to Kerry Rosenboom..hubby did this..we agreed)...

Example...

Bad coach ....when given a note from a trainer signed by 3 on their staff who evaluated son and asked him questions...they stated 2 specific requests that would help my son (and other pitchers)...now, this note was wadded up and tossed into trash by the AD...coach said,"I've never modified my program for anyone and I never will."

This was a very difficult situation which required action ....

Now, I can personally say that when a coach on staff at a school who works for an AD feels compelled to call me at work using my son's cell phone there is a problem.

Does that make me a problem parent because we must address this? I think not.

We all come equipped with a brain but sometimes it's the heart that loses it ability to function...

When my son becomes just another person cycling through a program which is designed without his best interest at hand (not just his, but all kids)...then it's possible that a coach has lost sight of his true calling...

My husband and I handled this area with grace - not fights with AD, not yelling from the stands, no obscene jestures...

My son will face adversity (again) and he needs to handle with character ....this has been very important to our family.

We never have worried about playing time...we worry about those life lessons instead...

CoachB25...seems you have a great situation, and it's one I hope will come to pass in time here...rules are great, reg's are great, and communication is so key...

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