PARENTS TO PARENTS re sons and daughters....

BeenthereIL:

Thanks for getting this started.

You are absolutely correct that we are not experts, but some of us have been either directly or indirectly touched by suicide.

It obviously is a very troubling and disturbing problem...many, many questions are often left unanswered and guilt can be overwhelming.

Because of this, I think it is very important for those that are really close to a situation like this to keep a watch on themselves...don't endure the burden alone...seek some outlet to help yourself and others.

It would seem impossible to glean any good at all from a situation like this, but if even the tiniest bit of good could be found it would help. Who knows what that little bit of good could be, but even the search for it can be helpful and soothing.

If you know of anyone who has encountered this tragedy please be as supportive and non-judgmental as possible...the guilt sometimes is almost unbearable...and it comes at a time when that person needs the help and support more than ever.

Good topic! I'm not a doctor but I refuse to sit by uninformed and ignorant to the issue. It doesn't hurt to be able to at least recognize a problem and maybe understand the signs. Someday you may be looking at the end result for a friend or love one and wonder how did that happen and why didn't I see it. When my son got hurt this Spring and knowing his passion for the game, his mental health was at the top of my mind. The funny part was that he was concerned about my state. We talked it out, found out he was better with it than myself, and we both slept better.

See attached articles that have a depression/suicide baseball relationships.

I found this interesting.
Baseball Suicides

Now mix in the steroid issue
roids

Even in the pros
pro depression

A good link
depression

He is with the angels - I believe that

I just called my son about this issue and will speak to my other two when I get home. Nothing is more important than your well-being i.e., baseball, grades, finances, break-ups, etc.

My cousin died the same way when he was 20 years old and it still to this day makes no sense. The family was devastated and has never gotten over it.

Beenthere - This is an excellent thread and discussion. I have actually talked with CD about this issue a bit out of concern over a couple of players that I know that have had a very difficult year. Perspectives for a 19-20 year old can be very different that those of how we would feel about their situations and challenges.

When it comes to suicide, typically males are more successful (for lack of a better word) in their attempts than females because of the methods they usually choose.

Thanks for starting this thread Been.

I believe the pressure starts much earlier than the symptoms. Then it grows. For some they just can't overcome the darkness despite being surrounded by loved ones and despite having resources available for help. My child does well. However, she is now feeling a lot of pressure. It is to the point that she feels sick before she takes the field. Despite our best efforts and assurances that our love is unconditional, she wants to please us. We've told her time and time again that if it isn't fun, don't play. She wants to play but when we get in the truck, she seems to always talk about her failures. Once last year, she broke down crying during a game but continued to pitch. I'm sure some of you are in the same boat. Both my Wife and I are very worried about this.

I've lost a couple of friends to suicide. Both were tremendous athletes. However, it seems that so much of their identity was wrapped up in being an athlete and when that ended or when success wasn't as easy to come by, both took that route. Truly a sad topic!

We just lost a 2002 grad of Seoul American High. She went off to Syracuse after graduation, made it through a few years, then came back to live with her expat folks back in Seoul and just couldn't get it going again........jumped off a twenty story building. Our little expat community is in shock. So sad..........

CoachB25:

You're doing the right thing...its always tough to know if you're doing just enough or too much...not sure how they will react.

Try as best as you can to have her shift from the failures to the successes or at least have her see the positives in the failures. We all know that failure is a large part of any game.

Having watched several athletes struggle through various difficult situations in their sport, I believe it is very worthwhile for them to visit with a psychologist who specializes in treating athletes. From personal experience, they seem to have a much better grasp in understanding the athletes' thoughts and feelings, which are generated by a different type of stress than the average person confronts on a regular basis ... be it perceived parental pressure, internal expectations, etc. We also found that in addition to the one-on-one with the athlete, it is very helpful to have 'family' sessions as well since it gives the athlete a safe place to address issues and concerns he/she might be uncomfortable addressing directly with the parent(s).

JMPE = JustMyPersonalExperience

The main thing is to talk to your children...talk about anything they feel like talking about: game, pratice,Spanish, Paris Hilton...it doesn't matter the subject just keep the lines of communication open

quote:

Originally posted by totallyconfused:
The main thing is to talk to your children...talk about anything they feel like talking about: game, pratice,Spanish, Paris Hilton...it doesn't matter the subject just keep the lines of communication open

And after an experience I had this week, may I add --If you have an opportunity to talk with any kid--talk to him/her. Sometimes kids do not have anyone to talk with. If you can be that person, it's wonderful in more ways than we know.