Perception vs. Reality

I don't know many, if any, who think that success is like the arrow on the left.  In fact, and per our children's time playing, there is a reason many of us call it a journey.  Every one of those curves was a setback, an opportunity to learn, the moment where reality set in, the opportunity to reevaluate what they were doing, and the chance to refocus and get after it. 

I could bore everyone here by giving examples to match each of those bends and curves.  Instead, I would say for people to focus on that last part of the journey.  For most of us, success is the end result for our children.  Most often, it isn't on the field but rather in the game of life where they have learned how to handle adversity and learn life's lessons. 

Definitely the curved path here.  

My son will be 20 in 7 months and he's still playing. Going back to T-ball, he's been at it for 14 years now. And, there's been some fun, magical, incredible, amazing and memorable moments that I will never forget as long as my mind keeps working.

But, there's also been so many struggles, injuries, unexpected turns and setbacks that I'm not even sure that I remember all of them now? And, I'm not talking about youth ball drama. I'm talking about things like significant slumps, surgery, lost seasons and switching colleges. The things that you never thought would happen - but, after they happen to you, then you realize that it happens to more people than you expect. And, it's really part of the journey and experience.

A long baseball journey is not a smooth ride down a perfectly paved road. It's not even a bumpy and rattling ride. It really is a roller-coaster with huge rises and tremendous drops, over and over again. Best recommendation I could give anyone starting out is: Buckle up and hold on because you're in for a helluva ride. The "good" news is what it also goes A LOT faster that you would expect.

@CoachB25 posted:

I don't know many, if any, who think that success is like the arrow on the left. 

People who don't know, and who are just starting out, could easily think that way - and I am not sure anyone could blame them for being naive.

I can remember 9U, even at 12U, parents who would talk about and project their kids: Going to play in High School, get a college scholarship and have the opportunity to go pro, if that's what they want to do...like it was just as easy and automatic as checking off items that you wanted on a take-out Chinese restaurant menu.

Meanwhile, I go back to my son's 9U travel team now and only 3 kids (him and 2 others) are still playing (in college) now. And, looking back at his 12U travel team, only 2 kids (him and another) are playing in college. But, I am positive that more than 75% of those 9U and 12U parents, back at those times, thought is was going to be a straight line and easy path from youth ball to college ball.

Even those who kept at it, for them it hasn't been easy. Two of the 3 from 9U switched colleges (including my son) and the 3rd is a basically a bullpen catcher at a non-competitive D3. And, the other kid from 12U (besides my kid) went to a local D3 pitched in 4 games and had an ERA of 11.

It's pretty safe to say that it hasn't gone as expected for anyone.

But what is the point of explaining "reality" to 9U or 12U parents?  So many things can and will happen, that even picking out which ones might make the HS team is impossible.  For one of my sons, of all those all-star players, only three even played in HS.  For another son, 4 of his 9U friends played through college.   I think everyone knows life happens, it's just something to say, "you won't have to pay for college".

It's probably helpful to educate parents/players on what can happen in HS and college, which is why this site is so great.  I started googling for advice when I had questions about my son's freshman HS year.  But before that, everything is pretty local.

My son’s 12u rec team has 6 kids who will be playing in college. 3 of them were bench/sub kids who all throw 90+ but were just getting a feel for the game back then. The crazy thing is the first and third best players on the team quit playing after their sophomore years because they stopped growing at 12 and were passed up by bigger kids.

My son’s 12u travel team would have 5 kids playing in college but one is choosing football.

I think success in baseball is leaving the game and still being in love with it, whatever age that occurs. As coach says above, it's a journey - and the joy should be in the journey, not the destination.

During the preteen years in rec and travel sports I crossed paths with plenty of delusion. For the most part I found it amusing and moved on.

However, as commission of the 7/8 machine pitch baseball league I had to have a talk with a group of parents about settling down on the sidelines.

I explained 4 to 6 of the 144 players were likely to become high school varsity players. But we could develop 144 baseball fans with the right adult behavior approach.

Some of them when to the youth league chairman to have me removed for having a bad attitude about the kid’s potential. The chairman explained the league commissioner’s responsibilities and asked which one of them wanted the job. No one.

@Francis7 posted:

There are many 8U parents who think a baseball career will go like the chart on the left.

And, there are many parents of kids who were/are still playing in their 20's who know a baseball career is often more like the chart on the right.

It's not a ride on a rocket and is more often a ride on a roller-coaster.

I think there is less of this now than 10, even 5 years ago because of the internet and sites like this.

But, even if that's not the case. I'd say let parents and kids have their dreams at that age. Nothing worse than the curmudgeonly turd in the punch bowl that craps all over someone else's dreams.

I would say that most of the successful players into or during HS years can feel like a straight line but it really depends on what is being evaluated.  If my son had remained at the lowest level (AA), his performance would definitely make it seem like he was a top prospect compared to the players at that level, and possibly into HS.  But as he advanced each level, there was a re-evaluation and focus on certain things to improve on because each step up through AAA to majors was challenging.  It exposed him to more talented players and better play and to his own weaknesses and strengths, which made his path curve.  I would suspect there are some rare players born with the talent to be a rock star player at 8u and still be that much better than everyone else through 18u.

@TexasLefty posted:

I would say that most of the successful players into or during HS years can feel like a straight line but it really depends on what is being evaluated.  If my son had remained at the lowest level (AA), his performance would definitely make it seem like he was a top prospect compared to the players at that level, and possibly into HS.  But as he advanced each level, there was a re-evaluation and focus on certain things to improve on because each step up through AAA to majors was challenging.  It exposed him to more talented players and better play and to his own weaknesses and strengths, which made his path curve.  I would suspect there are some rare players born with the talent to be a rock star player at 8u and still be that much better than everyone else through 18u.

I am watching this happen right now with my son 15U. It has been a roller coaster. This fall he has transitioned from playing with just his age group to playing and scrimmaging with older and/or better players. He's getting kicked around a bit and it's  exposing his weaknesses a bit more. I think he is handling it pretty well and holding his own to the best of his current abilities. Thankfully I am starting to become more used to the failure/success seesaw that the game of baseball is.

I often wondered what it would like to have a kid that was a top prospect D1 player where there is no question that they are going to play in college or beyond. Do you still worry or is the game more enjoyable to watch because you know he will shine and do well? Or do you simply move up a level to where he is not the best on the field and have the same worries as every other parent about your child?

I do realize just because someone has more natural talent doesn't mean their path is necessarily easy.

@BB328 posted:

I am watching this happen right now with my son 15U. It has been a roller coaster. This fall he has transitioned from playing with just his age group to playing and scrimmaging with older and/or better players. He's getting kicked around a bit and it's  exposing his weaknesses a bit more. I think he is handling it pretty well and holding his own to the best of his current abilities. Thankfully I am starting to become more used to the failure/success seesaw that the game of baseball is.

I often wondered what it would like to have a kid that was a top prospect D1 player where there is no question that they are going to play in college or beyond. Do you still worry or is the game more enjoyable to watch because you know he will shine and do well? Or do you simply move up a level to where he is not the best on the field and have the same worries as every other parent about your child?

I do realize just because someone has more natural talent doesn't mean their path is necessarily easy.

I've wondered if it must be nice to be the parents of Ken Griffey Jr. or Mike Trout and just know that your kid is always the best player on the field (by far) and the baseball journey is going to be a fun one.

But, in reality, I know differently now. There are two BEST THINGS that you can get as a baseball parent.

The first is GOOD HEALTH. I have sincerely lost count on the number of X-rays, Scans and Imaging that my son has had over the last decade because of baseball. Breaks, tears, sprains and strains. Two concussions. One operation. There's been something on just about every body part. Trust me, if your baseball player has gone through his career without a number of significant injuries, YOU ARE BLESSED AS A BASEBALL PARENT.

The second is GOOD GRADES. Having a baseball player who is a good student makes life a lot easier. Never having to worry about grades, GPAs, credits, and eligibility is a huge win. Having to wonder if your kid is going to flush his baseball opportunity and waste his talent and training because he just doesn't care about school and class work is a nightmare. If you have a baseball playing kid who is a good to excellent student, YOU ARE BLESSED AS A BASEBALL PARENT.

GOOD HEALTH and GOOD STUDENT. If you can get those two, you are winning the game. And, whatever the kid does on the field really doesn't matter, good or bad.

My son's 9U thru11U team was one of the top 15 to 20 or so teams in the country at the time.   Including a couple substitute kids we probably used 14 or 15 kids total during that time.   3 ended up D1 for baseball.  3 or 4 went D2, a couple went to JUCO, one played D1 golf and one played B1G soccer.  One of the D1 kids is still pitching in AA.   Funny thing is that the kid who was by far the best "sure thing" prospect of them all really didn't even care about baseball in HS and not even sure if he played his senior year.    He had several D2 offers as a QB but I don't think he ended up playing anywhere.

My son’s LL all star team went to states twice in a large, competitive state. Nine of the twelve kids went in to play college baseball at some level. Five went P5. Another kid went P5 in football.

Next year, same results when he was twelve. Only four of the players played high school baseball. Three went on to college ball. Two were on the team as 11s the previous year. This team was loaded with “athletes” who out muscled and out ran the small field. But they weren’t baseball players. Everyone on the team was a star high school athlete in some sport.

Francis - first off I love the diagram.  The first thing I thought of when I saw your post title and diagram was college baseball recruiting.   Who on this website can't relate to that?  If so, I want names!     Then I thought of my 40 year professional career then I thought of my golf game (I got clubs last year, I watch Youtube golf lessons everyday and I'm on the golf course regularly).   There are certain experiences everybody goes through that I think they can relate to the right half of the diagram.

There is an old saying to "not judge a book by its cover".   Well I learned that lesson the hard way back in 1983 when I'm facing this guy in the NCAA D2 tennis regionals.  He walked onto the court with tape holding his thick glasses, cut off jean shorts, and he had UGLY tennis strokes.  You could have easily mistaken him for one of the Hanson brothers in the movie Slapshot.  As a 20-year old kid, I'm thinking to myself WTF, and I'm going to wipe the court with this guy (the Success straight line).  I got smoked, and I never forgot it.  Never, ever judge a book by its cover, and never get ahead of yourself.  For me, that tennis match is one of those squiggly lines.   I had to learn that one on my own.   Squiggly lines are good....they are the human learning experience.   A lot of it is how you handle it, and keep moving forward.  More squiggly lines await me as I figure out this golf thing.   Tips and prayers on my golf game are welcome!

Just my experience.....