Picking him up

Trust this, he'll be ok. We've been thru it. It won't be his last. Let him know, he may have had a bad day for his standards but coaches look at lots more than results on the field. For example: they look at throwing mechanics, they look at swing plane, they look at the fundamentals of the game and see if the boys have the tools to play the game. He is a 2018, so he has lots of time and many games to play. By no means did he blow any opportunity. He just needs to keep his head held high and go back to work. He needs to continue to work hard in school and be dedicated to his hard work on the field. Mine had lots of bumps in the road and it only made him better. He is now a freshman and continuing his baseball career. I'm a baseball mom myself. Good luck to your son.

Yeah, I tried a little but as I'm sure you all know he will just need tonight to lick his wounds so to speak. He is not mentally ready to hear any advice. I could see it when dad was trying to start in with the "you need to do this, this, and this". Yes, he does. But he isn't going to hear it tonight.
We did get a smile out of him a little while ago. Actually a pretty good belly laugh. He got an email from something called The Scouting News.  He's reading us this email and the way he was reading it struck a funny bone with dad. He was laughing so hard he had tears rolling down his face. And laughter is contagious so 2018 started laughing without even knowing what he was laughing about. It was nice to see the big belly laugh.

Actually, our youngest is 21 and DQ still does wonders

 

For one thing, this might be a bit of a hidden lesson for mom.  Yes, it's natural for us to want to "fix it" when our kids are struggling.  But it is so important to transition to, instead, teach them awareness of all the tools and let them fix it themselves.

 

Certainly, parental moral support is still valuable though.  You didn't really share much about HOW he struggled so it is quite difficult to respond with any specific ideas.  But hopefully, in his struggles, he did something right in the way he handled it.  Maybe he was good about not melting down - kept a great attitude.  Maybe he still showed good raw stuff or tools regardless of results.  Maybe he tried to make necessary adjustments.  Maybe he was good about recognizing the right take-aways as areas he needs to work on.  These are all very important.  Adversity is a certainty in this game.  Learning how to deal with it and grow from it is vital. 

 

Hunter10 makes some excellent points.  If he was fully prepared and has the right tools that this dream school is looking for, an unsuccessful performance may not hurt him.  If he wasn't fully prepared or still needs to work on the tools, then this was a great lesson and hopefully he learned exactly what he needs to do to get to where he wants to be.

 

PS - I was typing this before seeing your second post.  There is definitely some wisdom in giving it a day.  They do tend to recover much quicker than we do, don't they.

As mentioned college coaches look at more than he end result. In addition to mechanics they look at how an athlete handles adversity and less than stellar moments. The best thing your son can do is carry himself like he believes in himself. Everyone has bad days. What's important is how they handle the rest if the day and tomorrow.

I'm sure there is a big take away for mom. Which is kind of crazy because I am usually pretty good at letting them handle it.  But I clearly still have work to do.
His struggles today were mostly with hitting the strike zone. Kept the ball low but kept missing just below the knees. He only got 12 pitches so really how much can they tell if they just go by balls and strikes. And the evaluation sheet that they carried from place to place did say something about good composure on the mound. He didn't remember what else it said so we'll see when we get it in a couple of weeks. Otherwise he didn't improve on his measurements like his 60 or velocities from last month. But he had a sprained ankle a few weeks ago that slowed him down on his workouts so I'm not terribly surprised by that.  It wasn't awful. But he didn't stand out. I think seeing the coaches talking with a couple of the other kids may have made it sting more but he has to realize this is September of his sophomore year.  This particular camp had 12 sophomores. The kids they were talking to were 2016s. And probably had pre existing contact with the staff.  I think we just need to help him come up with a game plan and mama needs to fight that urge to fix it.

He's still young, has time to be seen again by "dream school"

does he have talent to play at dream school?  Most players never get the chance to play at their dream school. They find a good fit at another school, and make the best of the opportunity. 

My advice is give them space and not try to give advice right after bad day. Things look better after 24 hrs and then have general conversation about positives/negatives of situation, and ways to move forward.

good luck

I understand as does he that playing there could be a stretch. Does he have the talent?  He may if he puts in the work to develop it. Physically he has the tools.
But really his disappointment isn't so much in whether or not he is talented enough. It's in that he doesn't feel he performed his best. If he had done his best and his best wasn't good enough it would be easier to swallow. Regardless, he does still have time. Like most competitive kids he puts a lot of pressure on himself. And seeing how early some of these kids are committing adds a whole different kind of pressure because they are hard pressed to understand how rare that is.
We'll see what today brings. He woke up this morning with a fever, chills, head and body aches.  So we'll just leave it alone until he is feeling better. Try to not talk about it until he has the actual evaluation in hand as well as hopefully get the PBR evaluation soon. Really until we get that feedback I don't know that it's worth worrying about.

Oh my - the stories I could tell....

 

You're doing fine.  Doing what moms need to do.  Let dad do what he has to do. It will all work out the way it is supposed to work out.

 

And let your son grow up a little bit more.  It $ucks when we parents realize we can't fix all the problems anymore.  But it is genuinely WONDERFUL when you see how your son can.  Let him do it.  Keep supporting him.  Let dad teach him to be a man.  And smile when you see your son turn the corner!! 

every time I read a 2018 has a dream school I kind of chuckle to myself, when my current 2017 grade was in 8th grade it was Coastal, in 9th grade it was Vandy but VA would have been acceptable, in 10th Duke was all the rage...now as he enters his Jr year he is thinking closer to home is better...the point is not many kids at 14,15 or 16 know what a dream school is...and if they do it is likely to change a few times!!

I completely agree - and we went through EXACTLY the same evolving thought process you describe.

 

The problem is, today the commitments are TOO DARN EARLY, thus putting pressure on 14/15-year olds.  Kids aren't being allowed to be just kids playing ball anymore.

 

I am SO GLAD that when our boys went through this the timetable was much later.  Especially the older one.  BOTH...played local league ball mixed in with some travel ball through their freshmen years in HS.  And BOTH...ended up at one of their 'dream schools' without any 'tryout/workout/showcase' at such an early age.

it is funny the thought process, Coastal had a great sweatshirt at the time and he knows I like to golf...awesome reasons! Then there was the VA/Vandy series in June of 14 which he was lucky enough to attend all 3 games...another awesome set of reasons. then he actually went to visit a few schools and loved Duke, I actually forgot W&M they have had some staying power!

 

The one minor issue (wink wink) is to date we are pretty sure those schools aren't interested in him...LOL at least they haven't reached out to him in any way and he is still kicking ideas around about majors that interest him!

 

I just told him last week to slow down, you have had plenty of contact with several schools at several levels and you are going to go to college with or without...the baseball will take care of itself relax and enjoy the ride. the truth is he won't have any problem finding a school that wants him, he is going to have to find the school that he wants!

 

 

It could well be a regional thing but by dream school I mean the one he has wanted to play for since he first picked up a baseball. When we'd take the boys to the College World Series every year and let them pick out a hat from each team he was the kid who didn't care if they weren't there, he wanted their hat.  For many in this area the local universities come before professionals in every sport. So while kids in other areas may be dreaming of the Yankees or Cowboys, kids around here dream of playing for State U. That's really all I'm talking about.

The thing is, they are looking to see his tools,not necessarily how he performed that one day. They want to get an idea of what he is and what he is made of. If they like those things, they will get his performance baseline from his school and travel seasons. Of course, as a pitcher he will likely need some velo and solid secondary pitches but he has time for those things to develop.

 

Good luck,

 

Ted

Pretty cool that you live in Omaha!  You must have some great stories over the years.  Great place to grow up as a young baseball player/fan. 

Thinking back I do think we did get a reasonably important piece of info.  Hubby and I sat at the field for most of the day just watching everyone play.  We didn't follow 2018 to his different stations until it was almost time to leave.  They were putting pitching velocities on the scoreboard so I am assuming that the little camera looking thing behind home plate was picking up velos.  When the velocity hit 85 they got out the guns.  So I am guessing that is the beginning of their interest point.  He was at 83.  But we'll know that until he is cruising 85+ that we should wait to contact that school.  And he did get a woo out of the head coach on one of his curve balls.  LOL!  So I guess it's something.

It is very cool to live here during the CWS.  I don't think the boys realize how lucky they are to be able to see an NCAA Championship event every year.  And it's still retained some of the charm of amateurism.  Bleacher seats in the outfield that are filled with young ball players.  It's very family friendly and affordable.  The only bad part is that they often play their own games at the worst times so that the teams traveling can go to the CWS.  It's a small tradeoff.

My kid recently attended a HS Prospect camp at his "dream school." He is also a 2018. he was battling a glute injury and didn't do as well as he had hoped. Actually, he did just fine - but not quite at a level he had been a few weeks previously before the glute injury. However, he watched the coaching staff pull aside two different 2016's who threw about the same or a bit slower than my son. They were both right in front of me and it was obvious they hadn't had previous contact, but they had the school's ace closer whisk them away for a tour of the locker room and facilities. He caught on pretty quickly that both were lefties and 2016's (there were a couple of right-handed pitchers that threw harder and whose stuff was at least as good). One of the lefties committed a week after the camp. Obviously, they were looking for a lefty in the 2016 class. The pitching coach, who we are already in contact with, approached my son and told him his velocity and then had to ask him why he looked disappointed. After my son told him, "No, that's ok. I was just hoping for a better performance," he laughed and told him he was way ahead of the curve for a sophomore. After talking to him, I realized he wasn't really worried; just wished he would have done better. He understands that there will be a lot of opportunities and this was just motivation. Fast forward to this past weekend and that school had a coach in the stands when he mowed down the #1 5A high school team in the state on a one-hitter, striking out 12 and hitting 87 on the gun. More impressive to him was that a Washington national's scout gave him a questionnaire and asked for his fall and high school schedules. Bottom line is that when you're a 2018 you'll get your chances to show what you have and there are going to be big ups and big downs on the recruiting road. If you have what it takes and show a good attitude through the process during those downs, you'll be OK.

 

On a related side note, the game my son pitched was also against one of the top position recruits in the 2018 class. A MaxPreps All-American monster player who has tons of schools after him. My son intentionally walked him the first at bat and then struck him out swinging the next two plate appearances. A friend sitting behind him noted that the scout was totally turned off by him when, after my son struck him out the first time, he tossed his bat and said something as he walked back to the dugout in front of this guy about a called strike earlier in the at bat. I hardly took note of it, but the scout did. You never know who is watching you. The shame is that I know this kid and he is a fantastic kid; always supportive of teammates and other players. He has a fantastic attitude and is a great student. But, I that one tiny snapshot...

Well if he was only 83, he should start playing soccer. 

 

There is nothing wrong with a 2018 at 83mph.  But schools are not going to fall all over themselves for a 2018 throwing 83.  But he has time.  Now that he has that information, he needs to develop a plan to increase his velocity.   

Yep.  My kid doesn't know what he wants for lunch, let alone what school he wants to go to. 

Good points RJM.. son is living proof. During his junior HS season, he has a baseball semifinal conference game at the stadium of one of schools recruiting him, which he had high interest as well. He figured there was a high likelihood HC or Recruiter would be in attendance, but focused on beating the rival!

 

A few days after game he receives a really personal glowing e-mail from RC noting how he had quality at bats, put pressure on defense, good decision making and got down line quickly.  Son's remark to me was "WOW..was he at the same game?" (Son was lamenting on his rare strikeout and difficulty getting down a bunt. He said, "maybe RC left early." )So Living the Dream, your son is still young. Tell him that T. Swift says to "Shake it Off". While it may not get a belly laugh, maybe a hahahaha will suffice.

Tell him not to beat himself up...After doing some research he may find he has several dream schools (especially when he starts factoring in degree interests)

My sons dream schools were Stanford and Princton, but with a 28 ACT he had to ecplore other options.

Anyway, like others said these coaches are paid to know what to look for...fluidity, hustle, baseball IQ, solid swing mechanics and hard contact, good throwing mechanics that wont damage arms or shoulders and that produce good results...list is huger than you think.

As long as he has some talent, desire, and work ethic (sounds like he does), he will find the right fit.

For my son he picked a smaller academic D3 school after many visits and showcases, and believe me the head coach recruited for his program seriously for maybe the first time in program history...My son thought he was a shoe in until at orientation he realized there were 13 recruits and most of them were better than the existing squad.  The coach was serious about building a program.

When i met the coach he mentioned very little about my sons baseball skills, but rather how impressed he was with what a great kid he was and how fun he was to interact with...

In a way that made me feel better/prouder as parent.  And im confident there will  be no personality conflicts...which is VERY important.

I prefer to channel my inner Elsa and bellow "Let it Go".  The pain in his ears temporarily overshadows the pain to his ego.

 

As they get older, I believe they start to figure it out on their own, at least 2017 is.  I think one thing that has really helped is I have reminded him a few times when he gets "stuck" on an error he made:

 

"Would you talk to your teammate the way you're talking to yourself right now?  Or do you pick them up, tell them to forget about it and go kick some butt?"  

 

 

 

 

I'm happy I didn't go to my dream school. In the case of my family maybe it was the preordained school. From the time I was a baby to the time I said, "I'm not wearing this" I had a Bowdoin Class of 19?? sweatshirt. I played tackle football behind the alumni house after the Bowdoin football games.

 

Bowdoin would have been the right school academically. But it was way beneath me athletically. Also their facilities even today are worse than high school facilities. So I broke a nine person, six generation tradition and passed on Bowdoin. Then both my kids passed on Bowdoin as being beneath their athletic ability. Had my father not been injured playing football in the Big Ten and transferred to Bowdoin (played baseball) breaking the legacy would have been all his fault.

 

My great grandfather, class of 1890 played football, baseball and ran track at Bowdoin. His training letter for football said cut back on smoking and run a mile each day before arriving at school. There will be one week until the first game. Times have certainly changed!

Living,

 

was he in the dirt or a little low?  He was 83 as a 2018... what is his height and weight?

 

Honestly, please do not baby him..... in baseball there are more "downs" than "ups"  that's what keeps them coming back for more... the "ups" are great ......

 

You have a longgggggggggggg way to go.... my 2013 was 83 as a sr in high school ... he's playing D1 ball now...  it will all work out....

 

 

Not in the dirt, just low out of the strike zone.  He is 6'2 (just a hair under) and about 180.  And I promise not to baby him.  It takes everything in me not to do it, but I don't. 

no worries just keep working.... I doubt they thought it was as bad as he did.... low is better than high anyway