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Player Work Ethic

monkeyboymonkeyboy500+ posts
Any hints besides bribery or force to get a young player(15) to realize the importance of getting work in on his own and being a student of the game?

As a parent its hard to keep feeding the monkey(a $40 lesson here...a new $300 bat there....an out of town trip here $250) when my player doesn't care enough to try to get better on his own.

To me, with limited reps on a 15u team, the boys have to be self starters to some degree to get needed work.

It chaps to no end that lessons aren't re-enforced with reps on his own.

Good player on high level team...could be great... but likes to skate by with minimal effort(lazy-ish).

He hustles in games. He makes plays.

He just doesn't place any value on practice reps so in games he doesn't have anything to fall back on...he basically is making it up as he goes.

To me this is recipe for disaster, doesn't promote long term success and something I find hard to let continue...any thoughts on how to change approach?

I just want junior to meet his potential and continue to get better.

Confucious say: "Baseball wrong - man with four balls cannot walk." ~Author Unknown

Last edited {1}
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Ken GuthrieKen Guthrie1,000+ posts
Simple...

Don't say a word about baseball or anything pertaining to it.

Don't sign him up for a lesson, league, or team.

If your son realizes he misses the game, he will come to you. He will ask to play. Sign him up.

Then, he will struggle with the game. All players do. He may come to you asking for help or "why". Calmly explain the work involved to be good at anything. If he truly wants to get better, he will work on it. Doesn't matter how, as long as there is a mental approach in getting better. Could be as simple as a tennis ball against the wall.

ONCE HE SHOWS A WORK ETHIC, ask him if he wants a lesson. Let him know the sacrifice it is for you to afford that lesson. If he continues to show a work ethic, ask him if he wants another. Repeat the process.

It doesn't matter how good a player can be, if the player doesn't want to be...he never will.

Where parents make the mistake is thinking their desire for their child to get better will imprint and take over. Won't happen.

In reality, 90% of these kids will never play past the high school level. The ones that play further, make the conscience decision to get better and reach that level.

"Dangle the carrot" approach works, but you have to really do it.

Most of this starts at a very young age, but there still is hope. As a parent, you must be willing to put your personal hopes aside if you really want to see what your young player is made of.

Good luck.
H halconnoche10+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by Ken Guthrie:
Simple...

Don't say a word about baseball or anything pertaining to it.

Don't sign him up for a lesson, league, or team.

If your son realizes he misses the game, he will come to you. He will ask to play. Sign him up.

Then, he will struggle with the game. All players do. He may come to you asking for help or "why". Calmly explain the work involved to be good at anything. If he truly wants to get better, he will work on it. Doesn't matter how, as long as there is a mental approach in getting better. Could be as simple as a tennis ball against the wall.

ONCE HE SHOWS A WORK ETHIC, ask him if he wants a lesson. Let him know the sacrifice it is for you to afford that lesson. If he continues to show a work ethic, ask him if he wants another. Repeat the process.

It doesn't matter how good a player can be, if the player doesn't want to be...he never will.

Where parents make the mistake is thinking their desire for their child to get better will imprint and take over. Won't happen.

In reality, 90% of these kids will never play past the high school level. The ones that play further, make the conscience decision to get better and reach that level.

"Dangle the carrot" approach works, but you have to really do it.

Most of this starts at a very young age, but there still is hope. As a parent, you must be willing to put your personal hopes aside if you really want to see what your young player is made of.

Good luck.

Good post.
H halconnoche10+ posts
Sometimes teenagers won't work at something because they perceive that they are doing it for their parents and not for themselves. Whether that is true or not doesn't really matter if that is how it is perceived. I tell my kid that I will do as much or as little as they want, but they have to want it and ask for it. If they are struggling but really want something, then they will want help. If not, then maybe they don't want it.
Sometimes getting someone else they respect to praise them for their talent but call them out for their effort can motivate a kid as long as they don't suspect you put the other individual up to it.
monkeyboymonkeyboy500+ posts
An example of lack of work ethic is that he is a pitcher...wont get in his bullpens. I am beyond forcing him to do it or any other baseball activity.

The problem is that he is results oriented and I am process oriented.

Last week he had a shutout. Threw over his body, landing foot all over the place, walked some kids...all versus a team that on the whole was not on our teams level. But...my kid got a shutout. He fails to understand the need to work on anything....come on dad...it was a shutout!!!

I swear he is a smart kid and he says he wants to play at the next level. He is a big kid. He was selected for varsity as a freshman....but he has no drive to get better. Frustrated.
Last edited by monkeyboy
AW Allen Wranglers100+ posts
KG nailed it. Not much I can add, but given your last post, here is my perspective.

When he faces good competition, he will not get the results he wants or expects of himself. And there will be good competition to face this summer. Hopefully he'll get the opportunity to pitch against a team that will force him to be on his game.

Even then, as KG said so well, the motivation will have to come from your son, and not you.

I think it is great that you support your son, and encourage him, and try to give him the perspective on just how good he can be. What he doesn't realize yet is there are other kids (older, same age, and even younger) that are just as good as he is. Hopefully that is something he learns this summer. Reality will set in at some point, and then you will see how important this is to him.
F funneldrill1,000+ posts
KG is right!

I'm having the same problem with my 13 year old step son. He's says he's "going to the get a D 1 football scholarship" or he's "going to the NBA after 1 year of college." He knows everything!!! So I'm not messing with him. When he wants to catch some football's, run routes, I'll throw to him. When he wants to work on "his game," I'll work with him or find someone to work with his hoop dreams. It's been easy for him because he's taller and faster than everybody in his grade...its about to change here in a year or two and he's in for a rude awakening!!! He's gotten by on ability but that's all going to change and quite frankly...I'm looking forward to him struggling. When he does...I'll be there...I'm always there even when he doesn't want it or know it.
monkeyboymonkeyboy500+ posts
Mine hurt the team today by not having the stamina and accuracy to not go more innings. His response when I told him why was he was pulled was something to the affect of "it was 3-1 and we were winning...I don't understand...".

His lack of stamina and no bullpens hurt the team but his immaturity or flat out idiocy will not allow him to believe this.

This is what I am up against and its frustrating. He could be a solid solid pitcher\player but he is not compelled to get better on his own. I struggle to understand how to motivate. I know his Coach is on here...feel free to threaten\motivate him as you see fit. :-).

Double ugh.
Last edited by monkeyboy
Ken GuthrieKen Guthrie1,000+ posts
Just remember Monkeyboy, there will be a time when the game will slap him up side the head. It's a humbling sport. Trust me.

Don't get caught up in the whole scene itself. Sit back and let the game run it's course. The more you push, the harder it will be.

It's a 15 year old. Remember that too. Sooner or later the hard knocks of life will take control.

What you do now will prepare YOU when your son finally does get it and how he receives your message.
B baseball13mom10+ posts
It is obvious (from our children's eyes) us parents don't know anything about anything. Peer pressure sometimes is the answer. If his performance starts hurting the team and it will open his eyes. IMHO it is a young teenage thing. Some kids are more mature than others. I feel that if he loves the game it will come with time (hopefully soon). I have seen too many talented players let the game pass them by because they didn't give that "extra" effort off the field. My son's coach tells them that "the ball player you become determines the work you put in off the field". Good luck!!!
monkeyboymonkeyboy500+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by baseball13mom:
It is obvious (from our children's eyes) us parents don't know anything about anything. Peer pressure sometimes is the answer. If his performance starts hurting the team and it will open his eyes. IMHO it is a young teenage thing. Some kids are more mature than others. I feel that if he loves the game it will come with time (hopefully soon). I have seen too many talented players let the game pass them by because they didn't give that "extra" effort off the field. My son's coach tells them that "the ball player you become determines the work you put in off the field". Good luck!!!
Thanks. THat is exactly my worry...that the game will pass him buy. He is big and strong and a young 15 and immature. Hopefully something opens his eyes. No big deal I guess in the grand scheme of things but ashamed to waste talent.
Ken GuthrieKen Guthrie1,000+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by monkeyboy:
quote:
Originally posted by baseball13mom:
It is obvious (from our children's eyes) us parents don't know anything about anything. Peer pressure sometimes is the answer. If his performance starts hurting the team and it will open his eyes. IMHO it is a young teenage thing. Some kids are more mature than others. I feel that if he loves the game it will come with time (hopefully soon). I have seen too many talented players let the game pass them by because they didn't give that "extra" effort off the field. My son's coach tells them that "the ball
player you become determines the work you put in off the field". Good luck!!!
Thanks. THat is exactly my worry...that the game will pass him buy. He is big and strong and a young 15 and immature. Hopefully something opens his eyes. No big deal I guess in the grand scheme of things but ashamed to waste talent.


And there ain't a darn thing you can do to build that desire most likely at this point. You can, however, inhibit it by allowing him to take for granted the aid and advice your giving him.

Again, stand back and let it happen. It either will or it won't.

I can't force my kid to be a Bassmaster champion. He will either enjoy fishing or he won't. But I promise if I force him to throw crankbaits everyday he won't want to dip minnows let alone fish from a Triton bass boat.

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