Skip to main content

Looking to the wisdom of this forum on this one...

I had a conversation with my 12 yo son yesterday in which he was apprehensive about logging extra time with a pitching coach at our facility because he "didn't like the coach".

I tried to explain to him he's not going to get to pick his coaches and/or teachers, bosses, etc. in life and needs to learn to deal with people he doesn't like or see eye to eye with.

I tried to explain he needs to not take those types of relationships personally and use the opportunities to absorb and learn while not getting caught up in the personality or demeanor of the other person.

However, I'm not sure I covered all the possible angles with this. Does anyone have any pointers on how to get him over this "fear" of coaches that aren't his dad?
Last edited {1}
Original Post

Replies sorted oldest to newest

Coach Bob,

First thing I would do is ask your son why he does not like the pitching coach he has been working with. He may have a legitimate reason. Not all coach's will appeal to a 12 year old.

I am not so sure I agree that you cannot pick your coach's,/teachers/bosses, etc. I think you always have a say in all of the above people in your life to an extent. Sure, you cant go writing everyone off but you don't have to accept them all either.

If you have the time and resources, I would take him to one or two other pitching coach's at other facilities and see what he thinks. He may realize that it is him and not the coach.
Last edited by bballdad2016
Coach Bob,
I’m with you for the most part but wonder about the last statement. Does he just not like this particular coach or does he have a general “fear of coaches that aren’t his dad”?

Assuming it is the former, I would first determine specifically what he doesn’t like about the coach. As 2016 said, he may have a valid concern. If it isn’t all that valid, some additional dialog might include..

If we try hard enough, we can find something we don’t like about every person. The key is to focus on things we do like about every person.

Let’s list the reasons that we are taking lessons from coach X. Are these reasons more important than whatever it is you don’t like about him? Coach X can probably think of something he doesn’t like about you if he tried, but he seems to be more concerned with helping you become a better pitcher.

Together with coach x, list goals you are trying to accomplish with the lessons. Focus on reaching those goals.

If appropriate, identify coach x as the person most qualified to help him become the best pitcher he can be at this time(aside from himself). Relate back that his attitude toward others is also going to go a long way in determining how good a pitcher he can become. He will always have to work with coaches with different ideas and philosophies than his own in order to continue to improve.

Now, if he is a 12 y.o. that has a fear of all coaches that aren't his dad, this is a scenario that I am ill-equipped to even make suggestions.
Last edited by cabbagedad
Update: so after spending a little more time with this pitching coach in a group setting yesterday my son tells me, "I really want to work one-on-one with him. He gave me a couple really good things to work on and I think it will make me better."

I'm chalking it up to my son's shyness and needing to get to know someone before having him make a decision like that.

Thanks for the tips guys!

Add Reply

Link copied to your clipboard.