Folks,
A kind poster requested this be removed. However I am unable.
Please disregard, all I can do is edit.
Thank you
Original Post
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Maybe it's time for a good, positive father-son talk. Explain how it embarrassed his wife...and you. That he will want his children to learn from his excellent behavior & example....NOT being a follower, but a leader...To rise above it! So, he has to think things thru before allowing himself to get suckered into situations that reinforce immaturity or possibly expose a character flaw that needs a little work. No one is perfect, & we all "need a little work".
One of our family mottos..."If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything"...
My kids know that they are "the jewels in my crown" (and was their Dads')...Diamonds, not rhinestones...pearls, not plastic beads. They are adults now, but still a frequent reminder.
Look at the upside...in 3 yrs, he's finished college, is self supporting, & made a commitment to marriage, That's all good! That's very good!
So sorry to hear of this. I know it must be hurtful, but please don't harbor resentment for your son's actions. If this is the worst he ever does to embarrass you, you are still in good shape. Lots of children do much worse. Continue to talk to him, to be honest about your feelings, and to allow him to think through his behavior and figure out ways he could better handle his frustration.
Pop Up Hitter dad posted:Baseballmom,
What an insightful reply. If I can ever get him alone without his Mom, maybe I can explain to him how he can handle adversity successfully.
Take care.
PUHD, I went back to your 2013 thread, "If I had it to do over", and other threads. I found a theme...not a good one! For years, you have used this forum to make excuses & moan & groan abt your sons talent level vs YOUR expectations.
So yesterday, you posted the above to publicly humiliate & chastise your son to a bunch of strangers! What would happen if he (and your wife!) saw these criticisms? Shame, shame, shame on you!
Maybe "mom" would do a better job of "explaining how to successfully handle adversity".
Please, for your sons' sake, DELETE your original post above! That would be the first step in healing YOU, then, down the road, the relationship with your son. Like I said, we all need a little work. Once you reconcile your own idiosyncrasies, then work on it some more! Humble yourself, forgive & let it go! ALLOW your son to be who he is!
One question: How is his trash talking an opponent ANY different than your "trash talking" your own son on this board the last 7 years? Think long & hard about that, PUHD!
Go to link below, READ what Coach May says, Then scroll down to your response about "seeing the light"... "Thanks Coach May for your recent post, I have seen the light.
Sometimes people get blinded by what they wish for not what they see., (emphasis mine)
I'm not sure how trash talking at a rec league softball game qualifies someone to be a bad person. I played in a pretty competitive (though still technically rec) softball league when I was 22 or 23.....trash talking was common! Even in their 20's...men will be men.....they are still competitive and want to win....I know I did. Heck, there were times that the trash talking almost turned to fights.....lol.
I have a suggestion.....DON'T GO!!!! The fact that you started this is really kind of pathetic if you ask me. His wife has a right to be embarrassed and if she wants to talk to him about it....fine (and I'm willing to bet she did just that).....you don't anymore. It seems like it would be better for everyone if you just stop seeing him as an athlete....and maybe just treat him as your son.....things will go much smoother that way.
A rec league trash talking married with a good job college graduate home owner, whats the problem again? It could be sooo much worse.
He's your son... I'm sure he has a lot of positives you and your wife ingrained in him that you love him for; he's a good citizen, good worker, and he will be a good father. We're not perfect and a lot of times we show a bad side of ourselves. I'm sure your son heard an earful and he's apologetic; he'll correct his attitude and move on; life is short.
There were likely high expectations for his baseball career by him and you. When things don't go as planned and there were high expectations, normally there are big resentments. Sounds like he's bitter and it's being reflected on the field. I'm sure his wife addressed how embarrassing it was....
I think you're being too harsh, and you're taking it as a reflection on you. No reason you can't tell him you were embarrassed with his behavior and you're not interested in attending a game if he's going to continue to act that way.
JMO... we're all asses at some point, sometimes our loved one's have to slap us to snap out of it...
(minor edit with typo)
baseballmom posted:Pop Up Hitter dad posted:Baseballmom,
What an insightful reply. If I can ever get him alone without his Mom, maybe I can explain to him how he can handle adversity successfully.
Take care.
PUHD, I went back to your 2013 thread, "If I had it to do over", and other threads. I found a theme...not a good one! For years, you have used this forum to make excuses & moan & groan abt your sons talent level vs YOUR expectations.
So yesterday, you posted the above to publicly humiliate & chastise your son to a bunch of strangers! What would happen if he (and your wife!) saw these criticisms? Shame, shame, shame on you!
Maybe "mom" would do a better job of "explaining how to successfully handle adversity".
Please, for your sons' sake, DELETE your original post above! That would be the first step in healing YOU, then, down the road, the relationship with your son. Like I said, we all need a little work. Once you reconcile your own idiosyncrasies, then work on it some more! Humble yourself, forgive & let it go! ALLOW your son to be who he is!
One question: How is his trash talking an opponent ANY different than your "trash talking" your own son on this board the last 7 years? Think long & hard about that, PUHD!
I agree 100% with the above. You have never posted much about your son that was positive, in fact your screen name alone is a dead giveaway of how he couldnt live up to your expectations.
Then you bring in mom, making it seem like she did something wrong? Maybe mom has had to make excuses because of things you have said or implied.
Children are reflections of their parents. Always remember that.
Pop Up Hitter dad posted:Folks,
A kind poster requested this be removed. However I am unable.
Please disregard, all I can do is edit.
Thank you
PUHD, My husband always said "The hardest part of a difficult journey is the first step". I'm glad you deleted your original post in this thread. I sincerely hope the reflection in the mirror becomes clearer and more accepting, loving, appreciative of your son, along with true healing & reconciliation. Our children are gifts from God, to be cherished & loved, & then set free to grow & mature into who THEY are.
Missed the original post by pop up. Have corresponded with him over the years.
I know he had very high hopes for sons basebal and was never happy with it.
Many timesI told him forget the baseball build the relationship and I guess from the responses there are still issues between them.
Life goes fast. One of my best friends lost her only child almost two years ago and the journey has been tough.
I wish all parents could not make baseball tbe defining point in their relationship. Hey we were very involved with son and baseball and all that comes with that. But we always just loved him with or without baseball. I guess we were fortunate in we didnt have to push the baseball he did that himself and does it now in his career.
Driving home from his territory which is two hours he will call me. It is so lovely to just hear his voice and hear about his job, his friends and what everyone is up to. I love our talks and dinners and time together. He came out to dc where we were taking care of our daughters 6 month old baby. He came out for four days . Loved every minute of our family time. Cherish every dinner every activity we do. Baseball is a memory. We will talk about guys he played with that are in the bigs. He loves his alumni and still sees several of his teammates.
Gosh pop up hitter whats wrong? Sounds like if I read it right you have a grandchild on the way. How exciting, how wonderful. Have an attitude of gratitude.
Too much time spent on being such a critical spirit. Dont do it. Build him up and he will rise up. Tear him down enough and he will never reach potential .
I just love my kids so much. I love a text with a picture of my grandson, I love the simple acts of a phone call, a text, a lunch or dinner. Best part is my kids are paying for us now. Lol
life so short. I cant fathom having unrest with my kids , or in my relationships.
Sad to hear pop up. Ill continue to pray that your heart softens to your son and your criticl spirit is replaced with kindness and compliments. They still need that from us.
Show kindness and love and acceptance it sounds like hes doing well. Married, working has a house and baby on the way. Look for the good its there
Hi Fan,
Speaking of gratitude, we are very fortunate to have folks like yourself hang around and provide your much needed perspective and support. Actually, there are far too few "folks like yourself".
PopUp, I don't want to jump on the bandwagon and criticize. But I would like to ask what the motivation was to post this here. Is this your outlet to vent or is it something you wanted son to see or ???
Ive known him long time and have talked outside of this site.
Thanks for the kind words