Pressure or Dream?

It's their dream. My son talks about it all the time. As a matter of fact as I was just cleaning the house, I found a paper left behind by him. On it were his goals for the season (high in my opinion), long term goals for high school, D1 college and MLB. Did I encourage this? No (although it's a great idea). I will never tell him he can't do any of it. As far as I'm concerned, somebody has got to do it and I won't tell him his hard work won't pay off. And yes, we joke about when he signs the contract he needs to buy us the motorhome so we can retire and travel the country watching him. Pressure? Only what he puts on himself to succeed. My job is to encourage, encourage, and encourage.

Parents of 8-13 year olds don't quite understand how much work it takes to get there, so I wouldn't really pay too much attention to it. I don't think parents say that to their kids, just bragging to one another. I think many of us have had that dream at one time along the way.
BBfam,
You're getting a motorhome too!

At 12U, my son is above average. To even insinuate/hope that he would be an MLB player is ludicrous.

The dream is my son's. I don't care what he does, as long as he is the best (or works to be the best) in whatever he does.

I couldn't fathom saying something like that in front of my son.

I agree with redbird. As long as he makes the most of it in the HERE and NOW, I do not care where he goes in life, as long as it is not down the wrong road, generally speaking.
I think the post about "most parents don't know what it really takes to achieve their sons goals of playing at the top" may or may not be true but there is a catch! That catch is this...Oh I am sure I know what it would take, however, If I put the sort of pressure on my son to do these things I am sure it may turn him off and people would think I am a tyrant and trying to live my life thru him. For example: I got a Worlds Gym membership in the fall last year, since he is 12 he can attend now. Well we maybe went 5-6 times in the span of about 3 months. I think just NOW he is starting to think it is time to get in better shape, stronger etc. I can assure you it wasnt me that has persuaded him to think this. He is starting to lose that baby fat (he is still 5'7" 185lbs) and slimming down and now he wants to play football next year for the 1st time. I hope that the football gets him in even better shape, I am sure it will. That was my sport thru college but I would rather him to still play baseball believe it or not. That is a testament that I am not trying to live my life thru my son. Off the soapbox.....

good question
IMO, it's good encourage setting high goals ...
though if my kids ever do well for themselves, and/or make it "BIG" in some way,
I'd expect them to invest in their OWN retirement


regarding MLB dreams,

a reminder ... EVERY MLB player who ever played the game was a 12 yr old boy at one time

and a word of caution ... only a FEW were identified even by baseball experts as future MLB players at 12 yrs, many were not identified at 18 yrs, some much later yet ...

wish them good luck & help them any way you can


btw RedB, if your boy stays "above average", as you say, during his HS, College, AA, & AAA playing days ... he ought to have a reasonable shot

*you'll note I'm sticking my neck out & have him skipping "A" right to "AA" outa college ...

I'd say that you're really sticking your neck out on that one Wouldn't you have to be pretty FAR above average to skip the different levels of A ball? RB, sounds like he already knows something about your son! The folks that I was referring to were totally serious about their boys playing major league ball and talked about it in front their boys. I thought it was very obvious that they didn't have a chance in Ohio to play at the high school level, as it turned out only one of those (who was the only good player out of the bunch) played at the hs level and none in college. But I was just wondering if maybe I was being too realistic by not talking about pie in the sky at a young age. Our dream was to be good enough to play varsity at the hs level and we had so much fun together working to get there! I was just curious as to whether I was having the boys aim too low or if it was good to just work hard and focus on the next step, and have a blast while we were at it.

Thinking that your children are there for you to retire on is pretty backwords.As far as dreams why not? My son is above average in baseball and football and of course he has stars in his eyes once in a while.I even entertain those dreams somtimes.But then it is back to reality and being honest with my son about keeping his grades up in school and making plans for college to further his education.I let him know that there is only one of him and education is the key to his future.If by chance anything beyond that happens that would be okay too.(ha,ha).

IB - Which son of yours were you referring to? #1 or #2? Just curious. Does #2 feel pressure now to be as successful as #1?

Our son has been involved with travel baseball for several years and he has gotten several accolades with his time. I've been asked and razzed about him going pro and going D1. The one thing I can honestly say is that when all is over and even if nothing happens with baseball We will sleep good at night knowing that our son had the support and the avenues to succeed. I've met allot of parents that had the wrong ideas of what their intentions where and living through their own sons accolades. This supposed to be the kids best years in having fun growing up but is taken away from their parents. We have been lucky with our son because he loves the game. He in no way is pressured to play. If he wanted to quit today I would stand behind his decision. Love and family comes first then baseball. Let the kids play.................

Chairman,

My son does have the dream to play college/pro. I only encourage the dream when we are in private. It is something that is his drive and I only assist when necessary.

He needs to make his HS team before we even worry about any other steps.

IB,

I just want my son to enjoy the game and get better.

Beezer, how in the world are ya! I guess I started out talking about #1, but maybe a little of both. # 2 asks me questions about 1 at his age but I don't know if he feels any pressure at this point, hopefully never

I have to agree 100% with Redbird. His approach sounds like my approach about 8 or 9 years ago. I agree we have to take it one step at a time. Do we encourage our sons OR do we put pressure on our sons? I think we do both JUST by being their parents. The situation Innocent Bystander speaks of is just a dad running his mouth and I think everyone involved can see through it --- INCLUDING HIS SON.

I don’t think we should set their goals for them. In other words I didn’t tell my son he needed to play high school baseball. It was his goal BUT once he set that goal I did put pressure on him to do the things that needed to be done to achieve his goal. Young people tend to set a goal but they aren’t sure how to accomplish that goal. I think this is where the parent needs to help. In other words if my son sets a goal to increase his velocity from 85mph to 90mph he needed a plan. I helped him with that plan. Yes there were times I would say --- “ If you expect to throw 90mph you need to put down the video game and get off your butt and go long toss.” If that’s pressure then I’m guilty as charged!
Fungo

If you expect to throw 90mph you need to put down the video game and get off your butt and go long toss

Fungo, I never knew that you'd met my son.

I constantly hear from him how much he likes baseball, how he's going to play college ball, etc. He's pretty good, so with a lot of work that goal is possible (though definitely not certain). After a bad experience with a not so good basketball coach he told me he realizes even more how much he enjoys baseball. However, he's discovered an online computer game that he'd sit and play non-stop if I allowed it. We've always had a 1 hour per day limit on TV/video games, but lately had gotten away from enforcing it (it's now being enforced again). (BTW - watching baseball on TV is considered educational)

I'm thinking that my son and I will sit down together and agree to a schedule of long-toss, Tee/soft toss, and fielding work. Nothing too drastic, maybe 20 minutes 4 or 5 nights a week. The way I see it that's not much different than staying on him to practice his trumpet for band (though admittedly he gets a grade for band.) How about it, oh panel of parents that have already been through it - is that pushing too hard on a 13 year old?

The trick is keeping it fun and making sure he's into it. I don't know how much most kids work, but I'm guessing that the amount of work the kids that make it put in might surprise you. I'm sure there are gifted athletes out there who may not have to work as hard as others. We have a junior in high school from our area who is ranked very high in the country, is a very gifted athlete and works in the batting cage for about an hour every night. My older son and I tryed to work about an hr every night and twice on sundays about 8 months out of the year from the time he was 8 yrs old. There were times when he worked real hard and didn't want to stop, and there were times that I had to remind him to be more intense, and if we were just going through the motions we were wasting our time. I love the time that I get to spend with my boys,(haven't really worked baseball with the older son since he was 16) and they love baseball and the rep they have of working hard at it. I don't know if my 12yr old will play HS ball, but he keeps telling me he can't wait to play in college. I guess I hope he stays interested in baseball,(I LOVE THIS GAME!) but if he doesn't I'll support him in what ever he chooses to do!

It is hard not to get your hopes up when your sons coach tells you your son has one of the best, if not the best, swings he has seen in a 12 yr old in the years he has coached. He has coached 3 National Champion teams and has 4-5 players off his first National Champions team playing D1 ball currently. He has learned and stuck to the mechanics his coach has instructed fro the past 4.5 years and with all the time we put in at the local diamond during his off days he has really earned his swing I must say.

when was 7, 8 or 9 years old i thought i was going to majors for sure. my parents never talked to me like it was a given or easy to do, they just encouraged me to do my best and go as high up in the game as i could. fortunatly they have been able to allow me to play a lot of competition and get a lot of great coaching. i'm now a junior in highschool, i've pitched against kids who are draft picks, D-1 signees and other studs. i've held my own but i also see how good you've got to be. i still work hard at the game, but i know my chances of playing in the majors is slim, my goal now is to play college ball at the highest level of my ability. i still got dreams and if that 90MPH fastball shows up I'll welcome it but i think i'm fairly realistic. my parents never had to tell me i wasnt going to make it. but they never acted like i was either, just work hard to get as good as you can. this is the approach i think parents should take

Hey jjinmo, are you still with the KC Wildcats? How are they looking this year if you still are? If not, who are you with.