Question for Perfect Game Staff

CNY2010,

There are thousands of detailed reports on crosschecker. Which reports are you referring to?

PG,

As you know - we spent some fun time together enjoying a game and some great conversation at Jupiter this past year.

Now that you have had time to absorb my performance there - I would like to know how you rate me on the following:

1) Sunflower seed eating

2) Ability to find a bathroom - quickly.

3) Ability to not make any bad noises when my son strikes out.

LOL

I am expecting a very good rating.

PG:

Sorry, the 2007 Mid-Atlantic Underclass and Mid-Atlantic Top Prospect showcases.

Thanks

quote:

Now that you have had time to absorb my performance there - I would like to know how you rate me on the following:

1) Sunflower seed eating

2) Ability to find a bathroom - quickly.

3) Ability to not make any bad noises when my son strikes out.

1) One of the best I've ever seen, I think?... an 11
2) On the field we were at, everyone would be a 10.
3) I don't recall your son striking out, I do remember him getting a couple hits including a big one in that game. Did not hear any noises at all... I gave you a 10.

It's about 5 tools, though...

4) After losing a close game... no complaining... you get a 10.
5) You showed excellent quickness when the beer vendor came through... another 10.

Overall - OFP - 10.20 - Highest score ever recorded.
Congratulations, I'd say you have a very bright future, based on your performance at Jupiter.

LOL

Thanks PG - I am most proud of the 10 on the beer vendor.

Cat like quickness. LOL

CNY2010,

I will check on that.

Also, if you want to check yourself, You can email Kentaro Yasutake at our offices.
yasutake@perfectgame.org

His department is in charge of organizing all the reports and data from the events and getting it posted. If you like you can email me also, but I would just have to ask him. jerry@perfectgame.org

quote:

Thanks PG - I am most proud of the 10 on the beer vendor.

Cat like quickness. LOL

Yes, cat like quickness, but we look at everything.

Generousity - You bought not only one, but two! Then showed amazing "balance" by not spilling a drop while walking on soft wet ground displaying great "agility" and "instincts". That beer man didn't have a chance against that type of "determination" and "hustle". Then there was the "smooth" and "fluid" movements in your arm as you showed your exceptional talent and experience"

Could go on forever, but people might get the wrong idea.

LOL - I am going to start practicing today for next year's trip.

Kansas game should be a good one!

PG,

I went to my buddies' house last night to watch the Kansas-Missouri game. We had about 10 guys there.

I started bragging about my 10.2 overall rating and my 11.00 on the seed eating event.

At one point - I overdid it - too many seeds and beers at once.

I choked a bit - then passed out.

I landed on a coffee table - knocked myself out and lost my primary seed splitting tooth as well.

Doctor told me I will need 3 months of seed splitting therapy on the jaw - and also looks like I will be gumming the seeds the next few months.

Have you ever gummed a sunflower seed?

This gets much tougher as you get older - and quite frankly - I dont know if I have what it takes to make it back 100%

I will keep you updated.

Seriously, the saddest thing in pro sports is when they cut off beer sales after the 7th and it goes 15 innings.

quote:

Have you ever gummed a sunflower seed?

This gets much tougher as you get older - and quite frankly - I dont know if I have what it takes to make it back 100%

Better a has been than a never was! But don't worry you'll have a brand new seed splitter in no time. How bout making it a shiny gold one with a diamond in the center.

Now....does anyone know of where to locate a good seed instructor?

Maybe that's a new career for Its.

quote:

Originally posted by baseballguy:
Now....does anyone know of where to locate a good seed instructor?

Maybe that's a new career for Its.

I am sure you can locate a good seed instructor in the SunFlowerBelt region.

I've heard there are several schools of thought on seeds....I'm looking for someone who is an instructor in "rotational" seeds.

So - I take the advice of PG and baseballguy.

Yesterday, I had a gold "seed splitting" tooth put in.

Then - I go down to baseball practice - and start giving out some seed eating lessons.

Apparently - the gold tooth increased the velocity of the ejected seed.

On seed # 3 - I spit it out - it hit the side of the dugout - bounced back and hit me right above my left eye - I fell down and landed on the steps of the dugout.

Knocked cold again - and knocked the gold tooth out as well.

I am just too old for this stuff.

Typical of injuries in a veteran. Once they occur, they are likely to re-occur more easily the next time.....maybe its time to write a "How-to" book and go on the speaking tour.

baseballguy,

I appreciate the encouragement I have received from you and PG.

Despite the injuries I have endured the last few days - I am not going to quit.

I will take your advice - write the book tonight - and go on tour - starting tomorrow.

I will report back to you as soon as I finish my first speaking engagement.

its- there's a great dentist down in Florida that can fix you up quick. A little magic elixer in yer cheek and you'll grow a new spitter in no time.

C'mon PG enough with the hype...I havn't seen the man throw down seeds personally, but I heard from some reliable sources that ITS couldn't hold my jawstrap.

When the next seed showcase? Enough with the hype. We will just have to let this get played in the stands (where it sure be)

Check out the 5 tools:

Before I tell you about today's events - I want to make it perfectly clear that I would never hold Tripledad's jock. LOL
Ever.

As for the teeth - those teeth should be used for chasing down - and eating - wild animals - not seeds.

Now for today's events - which I blame entirely on PG and baseballdad.

I went to the local school to give my speech - and a few lessons. I did not have the time to go to the dentist to replace my gold tooth that was knocked out yesterday.

I was introduced to the youngsters - and then asked to take the stage for a 10 minute seed spitting demonstration.

Thinking I would make more of an impact - I shoved a bunch of seeds in my mouth and strode up to the stairs leading to the stage.

As I got to the first step of the stairs leading to the stage - amidst a thunderous roar of applause mind you - I spit a seed out.

I babied this one - probably because of yesterdays gold tooth fueled turbo seed ejection. Unfortunately - I miscalculated. I spit the seed out of the same area where my gold tooth used to be.

It went about 4 inches - landed on the 2nd step leading to the stage. As you would expect - as I took my second step - I slid on the poorly ejected seed and fell backward.

I cracked the remaining teeth on the left side of my mouth - - pulled a hammy - and once again - knocked myself unconscious.

At this point all I can say is "You guys are killing me".

Regards - from Room 203 of The NC Hospital for Aged Athletes.

quote:

Before I tell you about today's events - I want to make it perfectly clear that I would never hold Tripledad's jock

Jawstrap not jockstrap

quote:

As for the teeth - those teeth should be used for chasing down - and eating - wild animals - not seeds.

Ooozing with jealously


Good luck with your injuries, over rated wannabe!

I am asking that all "Get Well" gifts sent to my hospital room be selected from the following website.

Thank you.

http://www.davidseeds.com/pages/products.html

Now that your injuries are piling up, may I suggest an endorsement deal?

TripleDad,

Given that the suggestions from PG and Baseballdad havent worked out real well - I will give the endorsement process a whirl.

Although I have only 2 teeth left - and cannot walk as a result of the pulled "hammy" - I will give it a go.

I called my agent - and he has arranged for an endorsement deal - including the requisite photo shoot - for tomorrow afternoon.

I will report back to you tomorrow - after I am done with the shoot.

Thanks for the suggestion.

The scariest thing about this thread is that there are still 3 months left in the off-season.

This is some good stuff here! Great description of that 4 incher! Wish I’d have been there to see that one. Perhaps you’ll need some performance enhancing supplements to help with the recovery time. You’ll be spittin em out of the park in no time.

Then again, remember this advice... It's not how hard you spit... the most important thing is location!

TripleDad,

You're welcome to attend the next contest, so long as while you're there, you promise not to smile.

All this talk of jockstraps and performance-enhancing supplements has got me concerned for you guys. I wonder, What would Woody do?

ITS

if you are going after endorsements you will need an agent---HINT HINT

I hear this Co. is looking for a guy..

Off-season? What off-season?

Well TripleDad - Welcome to the same list as PG and baseballdad. Your recommendation didnt work out too well.

Here is what happened:

On crutches as a result of my "hammy" injury - I made it to the studio for the photo shoot. Upon entering - the director told me he did not want me doing the commercial on crutches. Instead - they had a SegWay - one of those mini-scooters that you can stand on - and move around without having to balance yourself.

I - and my agent - agreed. It seemed reasonable to us.

So they start the shoot - and they hand me a bunch of seeds. They want to me throw them in my mouth - say how good they are and then spit them out.

What they didnt tell me was that the seeds were stage props. They were made of a hardened plastic resin. They didnt tell me that.

I did what they said - got on the SegWay - threw the seeds in and starting talking about the virtues of seed eating. Then I tried to crack them.

The 2 remaining teeth I had were instantly pulverized - given that I was chewing on hardened plastic resin.

As I screamed in pain - I spit them out (along with the remnants of my teeth.)

Unfortunately, some of the plastic seed - as well as some of my broken teeth - somehow got lodged in the motor of the Segway.
The SegWay then accelerated uncontrollably.

Witnesses say the Segway reached a speed of about 20 MPH - before crashing into the back stage door.

I was knocked unconscious - again.

I now have no teeth - Zero. I will be gumming seeds for the next couple weeks.

I am in a body cast - as I broke most of the bones on the right side of my body.

I pulled the other "hammy".

My agent said he will no longer represent me.

The Studio is suiing me for the cost of the replacing the Segway and the Stage door.

Needless to say - it has been a rough week.

You fellas have any more suggestions?

its,

Please put one of them motorcycle helmets on your Xmas wish list. I think maybe you've suffered one too many concussions!

So - I take PG's advice.

The seed company gives me another chance.

The producers of the photoshoot want me to ride a motorcycle and spit seeds at the same time.

My doctors refuse - but do agree to let me drive a car - with a motorcycle helmet on - and spit seeds out the window. The producers agree to this.

Here is what happened.

http://s124.photobucket.com/albums/p23/paulmastroianni/...rrent=earthquake.flv


Once again - knocked out - and car demolished.
Things just arent going well for me lately.