RECRUITED SON D3 GETTING NO PLAYING TIME

Just keep plugging away. If he gets a chance maybe he will turn it around and play every inning the rest of the season. If it doesn't change he will have transfer options.
The whole time in high school when he was tearing it up there was someone on the bench hoping for his shot too.
Either way, I know it's tough, I hope it works out for him at this school or the next.

it is always easy to transfer out but that is not the solution

scidoc,

You didn’t mention what position(s) he plays, or whether or not the players the coach put in those positions were getting the job done.

You might think back to the promise that was made. I’ve heard of supposedly many such promises that turned out to be a guarantee that the Fr would be given every possible fair chance to win a spot. What often happens is, the Fr plays well, but not well enough to steal a starting spot from a player with more history.

But no matter what, the season is still only a couple weeks old, with a lot of games to play. If it were me, I’d advise him to cool his jets and bust his butt.

First, not sure why the coach made a promise to you that your son would play.

It doesn't matter what your son did in HS, this is not HS ball. Most freshman do not play much at most programs. What makes you think that he would be an everyday starter at that D1?

Too many players show up thinking that because they did so well in HS they should be playing more often. Could be that he has a lot to learn.

He needs to get a better attitude and be prepared for when the time comes to prove he deserves more playing time.

Transferring is not the answer, the grass may be greener on the other side but it needs cutting, be careful and don't make a choice based on a few weeks .

Lots of good advice given so far. My son played D3 and it was a little different situation because the Head Coach who recruited him left unexpectedly after the first pre-season game of freshman year, but still I would like to confirm what trojan-skipper said:

Keep plugging away. The upperclassmen are all battling for their spots too - the spots they played last year, or the spots they were sure they could win this year. Almost every returning player came to campus this year expecting to play, planning to win the right to play. Maybe the coach intends to put your son in the starting lineup soon, but first feels a need to let the upperclassmen have their shot and prove that they are NOT the better choice than your son. Even at the D3 level, most players on the team were at the top of their HS teams, all-conference, all-state, etc. Limited playing time at the beginning of freshman year does NOT mean your son won't get his shot.

I like (and agree with) this advice from Stats4Gnats:

quote:

the season is still only a couple weeks old, with a lot of games to play. If it were me, I’d advise him to cool his jets and bust his butt .

Good luck to your son, and let us know how things go!

Julie

scidoc - Welcome to the hsbaseballweb!

As MN-Mom says, lots of good advice already.

I think what you and your son are experiencing is not all that unusual...at any level of college ball. I've been tracking some seemingly 'sure thing' freshmen from our area over the last few weeks...over a dozen of them. These were ALL completely stud players in HS and in elite summer ball. One was simply the best HS hitter I've seen in our area in the past several years...he has 3 ABs so far this season (although on a top-5 team that has been winning games by 15 runs). So I can almost guarantee you even he and his parents are very frustrated too at this point.

Other players' experiences so far have ranged from being cut (yes, CUT!)...to not playing time yet at all...to one (failed) opportunity then back to the bench...to spot position starts...to bullpen work. Only one is a starter and that is not the 'one' most in our area would have ever guessed.

I think a lot of freshmen are experiencing this right now. As with our older son who was also frustrated by this point way back in 2005...try and do your very best as a parent to 'coach' him to get over this hurdle. Don't let him give in to the 'I wanna transfer' feelings that many experience too...its just WAY TOO EARLY for that to be creeping in. Some of this is YOUR job...you came to the right place, now go help your son climb this mountain!

From your original post, it doesn't sound like he got D1 offers so I am not sure what makes you think he could transfer to become a D1 starter now? You mentioned it's an excellent academic school. Does he like it beyond not playing?

He has 3.5 more years there....lots can happen. If in fact he becomes the best option, I have no doubt coach will play him. Tell him to put his head down and work. To be a good team mate while he pushes everyone ahead of him. It sounds like 3 weeks into the season it's your son's mind that is made up. Perhaps things came so easy in high school he never learned to put his nose to the grind stone. No time like the present to learn this life skill.

If a College coach promised him playing time that is a red flag right there. Any college coach worth is salt wouldnt promise a player playing time or he is just flat out lying to get your son there.

The boy has two options:

1) Whine, and don't be mentally ready when he gets his chance.

2) Keep a healthy attitude, work hard and be prepared and take advantage of any opportunity.

I've seen option 2 work much better every time.

On this website a year or so ago I came across an equation that someone posted and now it is one of many different parts of motivation on my sticky note wall. It is "E+R=O". Standing for Event + Response = Outcome. From what I understand the point of it is to make the best out of the hand you are dealt and that is all that can be asked of you. Also, maybe the fact that your son is getting upset about this situation is the reason for the coach putting him in it. Dealing with adversity is probably going to be a big part of his college career so by letting him figure this out during his freshman year maybe the coach thinks he will be a better contributor later on because of it.

BTW, through 14 games of my freshman college season I have 4 ab's. Winning games on the bench is a lot more fun than losing games on the field IMO.

scidoc- I know a player, a LHP at a DIII school who threw 6 innings in relief in his first week of college baseball. He was thrilled with his performance and figured he'd be the first guy out of the bullpen for his team. He waited another 5 weeks until another appearance. His teammates, the upperclassmen playing ahead of him, kept on playing...win or lose. And he just kept on sitting the bench. He grew frustrated to the point where he'd call home several times and tell his parents he wanted to transfer. He didn't want to deal with this "bull****" anymore. His parents played Devil's Advocate, and mostly listened to him complain. By season's end he racked up a few more relief innings, but none were really significant in his mind.

The kid stayed at the school he was at after a lot of contemplation after that first season. He figured there may be a good opportunity to see more mound time his sophomore year. Sure enough, he was right. He became the "go-to" guy out of the bullpen, the man the coach called on when the team was in need of relief the majority of the time. He pitched consistently and pitched consistently well. The team kept winning and winning and winning. He figured that sooner or later, the coach would have to start him. He decided it would be good to go to the coach's office and ask if that opportunity would be presented. The coach bluntly told him that he wouldn't be effective for more than one time through the batting order so no, that opportunity wouldn't be presented. The kid was furious and once again called home to complain about the situation. His parents, however, didn't play Devil's Advocate this time. This time they said "Put up or shut up. Prove yourself and stop complaining."

During his sophomore year, that player shined in the NCAA Regionals after pitching 7 1/3 scoreless innings in relief in an elimination game. When the lead was taken over by his team in the 10th inning and the coach decided it was time to go to the team's closer, the pitcher was again frustrated. He wished so badly that the coach would trust him enough to finish the game. The other team eventually went on to win the game in the 11th inning and move onto the championship game.

Upon arriving on campus for the fall of his junior year, the pitcher was informed that he would be used in a "utility-pitcher capacity". This was to be interpreted as a spot starter and a trustworthy option out of the bullpen. He once again called home to complain, saying that he felt as though he earned the opportunity to start the previous season and that he felt slighted. He even went as far as speaking to several of his friends at other schools about getting a roster spot there, where he felt as though he'd be given the right opportunity.

However, he decided to stick it out once more. He figured if he had to prove himself again then so be it. His first collegiate start came in his team's fifth game of the season...against the 9th ranked team in the country that had advanced to the College World Series the previous year. He beat them 3-1, throwing a complete game with 9 strikeouts. From that point on he became the Friday night starter for his team and amassed stats that were good enough for the conference ERA title and an All-Region vote from the NCAA.

That young man unfortunately hurt his arm and can not pitch his senior season because he required surgery. He is missing out on the opportunity to prove that his junior season was no fluke, that he can continue to perform at the level he performed at. He is missing out on the opportunity- most of all- to enjoy the final season of his college career with his teammates. He's grown up with them, from the first intrasquad fall scrimmage and all those brisk doubleheaders sitting on the bench his freshman year to being in the forefront of the team's action and reminiscing on all the experiences of the past. He's had morning conditioning practices with all of them...he's sweated, cried and bled with all of them. And now he's not able to enjoy the last bit of experience he has with all of them because of a freak arm injury.

The moral to the story about the young man above is pretty simple:

1) Continue to work hard. The opportunity to prove yourself may be a small window, but the window is usually presented nonetheless. As RJM alluded to, you need to be ready to prove yourself when you get that window.
2) Don't let the frustrations of self-pity take away from the overall experience of the game. College baseball is an amazingly wonderful thing and it can be taken away in a heartbeat. Don't let the memories fade.

The young man I mentioned above will be OK. I hope that your son is able to find happiness in whatever he chooses to do. And I hope that he grinds it out in whatever he chooses to do. Proving people wrong is one of the greatest feelings in the world.

JH...Sounds like I know this guy...and I agree that he will be OK!

I also agree with your last statement that one of the greatest feelings in the world is to prove someone wrong!

Look at the big picture.

Does he like the school and surrounding area? Making good grades or scrapping by? Does he like his other teammates and classmates?

If he doesn't like the baseball program AND the majority of the experience the school has to offer, then unlike everyone else here, I say let him (not you) talk to other coaches and explore his transfer options.

If he (again not you) finds somewhere else he would rather go to school and play, then I say let him do it.

Just like in real life, sometimes you make the wrong decision, but as in real life, most things are changable.

Lots of good advice here.

All I can say is this -- you can never predict how things are going to go in college baseball. Players underperform expectations, they get hurt, they flunk out, they transfer, they oversleep a practice and get in trouble, the list goes on. So many different things can happen that end with your son getting a chance to contribute that you just can't fathom them at all.

Unless there's some clear reason that the coach must be biased against him, I just don't think it's time to give in yet. Teach your son to be the bigger man.

Last year started off slowly for my son. Recruited as a shortstop, he got very little playing time in the first four or five games. Got moved to the outfield during their spring trip,and started almost every game after that. Keep plugging away, and if an opportunity presents itself, take advantage.

Great posts in this thread and I think I know the young man JH is talking about

I agree with justbb that this is more common than uncommon. Every college player was a great high school player or they wouldn't be a college player. Lamenting about high school this or that will get you nowhere and in fact is irrelevant and can only distract from the task at hand.

My son called home in tears when he found out on the opening day of the 2006 college season that he had been redshirted. We were both shocked but I spoke frankly to him and did anything but baby him - even though I indeed felt badly for him. I told him he had two choices. He could sit around and feel sorry for himself or he could do something about his situation. I told him to be the best redshirt player on the team. To do any team dirty work that needed done. Shag any ball that needed shagged. Be the first to the field and last to leave. Swing the bat until you could no longer swing it. Field ground balls until you could no longer find someone to hit you ground balls. Have the best attitude on the team. Be the best teammate.

About six weeks into his freshmen season, he got a break and became unredshirted. He began his career as a late-inning defensive replacement and we were thrilled when we saw his name appear on live stats when he filled in at 2b, 3b, or short. He eventually got his first at bat in a game his team desperately needed to win as they were struggling at 5-11. His first at bat was on March 17th 2006 and it was a walk-off game winner. No doubt in mind mind that his career changed forever because of that "one" at bat.

That is how I would encourage your son. Don't have him focusing on all those at bats he is not getting at the present time. Get him to change his focus to that one at bat he "might" get. That is what he needs to be ready for and that is where all his energies should be focused. In the mean time, encourage him to have the best attitude on the team and outwork everyone else on the team. Those are the only things he can control are his attitude and effort. Coaches decisions are out of his control so encourage him to let those feelings go.

what is this "calling home " stuff----aren't these players in college?

Its called a "Relationship" TR. Something many families value.

quote:

Originally posted by lambo:
If a College coach promised him playing time that is a red flag right there. Any college coach worth is salt wouldnt promise a player playing time or he is just flat out lying to get your son there.

Agreed. All should go into this knowing they still need to earn their spot starting with workouts and games in the fall. History doesn't matter. Freshman start out being the least deserving and go from there.

Coaches need to encourage X number of kids to enroll because they know that X - Y kids will actually enroll. Going so far as to say a recruit will start in year one is both disingenuous by the coach and wishful thinking by the recruit.

quote:

Originally posted by TRhit:
what is this "calling home " stuff----aren't these players in college?

And he better keep calling home till his mom and I are dead. He doesn't stop being my son just because of a life stage.

I still call my folks (late 60s) a couple times a week and sometimes I even grouse about a job issue. MY dad still calls HIS dad every Sunday night. Venting or seeking advice is not the same as asking parents to solve problems.

TR strikes me as those folks my own parents in Fl are baffled about. Bitching and moaning because the kids and grandkids want to come and visit.

I wish I could call my parents. Dad died in 1980. Mom 1989. I'd tell my dad the Phillies won the World Series (twice!) and mom that the Eagles got rid of Buddy Ryan (she thought he was mean).

quote:

Originally posted by AntzDad:
I wish I could call my parents....

Me too! We're in about the same boat on that.

There are plenty of reasons a child should call home. Sometimes they just need to vent to someone. I'd rather that be me as a parent. It might not be a good thing if they vent to another player who then, in turn, runs to the coach. It doesn't mean that everything I hear from my child is the truth. Remember, there are different "truths" at play. One is the emotions of a player away from home who feels like their world is in turmoil and they just don't know where to turn. Then, there is the coach's perspective which, while totally different, may or may not be accurate. Still, they are the coach and so, that won't change. As a parent then, we have to ask ourselves where is the line between beting a shoulder to cry on and a crutch for our child. IMO, that call is coming for most parents of athletic children who continue on to college. We have had our phone call already. We did our best to provide that long distance hug and then kick in the butt. Personally, I am so thankful that my child is playing because she wants to and not because we prodded her to play. It makes it easier knowing that we didn't force college athletics upon her.

To the OP, you stated that your son had interest from some D-Is and now at a D-III he isn't getting any playing time. You mentioned that the coach made "promises" to you and your child. That is a vast difference in level of competition. There is more to this story. You might want to have a sit down at some point with your child. I'd suggest that you have your son have a sit down with the coach. The "truth" is in there somewhere. JMHO!

there ls no way my son calls home to complain to me about playing time----he knows what he would hear

This guy seemed to turn out alright after he called home every night to talk to his parents: http://books.google.com/books?...#v=onepage&q&f=false

Here's the story of a friend's son. Freshman year he went to one of the storied college baseball programs. Aside from not playing he didn't like the coach's approach in terms of what would help him get drafted. He transferred to a JuCo. He didn't start the first two weeks. He got a pinch hit, got a start and won a position. He then went on to a D1 without the promise of a position. He didn't start opening day. He eventually got a pinch hit, a start and won a position. Through his college experience he was only a starter opening day twice. But he was a four year starter.

At every level of minor league baseball he never started opening day. Yet he's always a starter by May 1. He's made several minor league all-star games. He's in his early 30's now. This kid has been screwed by never getting called up. Each of the last four years he's been cut at the end of the season so a prospect could have his position. Each February he finds a team. He always earns a starting position by May 1.

What happens now is he rooms with the prospect, teaches him about adversity and how to act like a professional. Every year he finds a team and wins a position. He loves baseball. He thinks it's incredible he's paid 75K (over six months) to be a kid and play baseball. One year he played in Japan and made much more money. Most of all it was a great cultural experience he wouldn't have outside baseball.

I asked the kid (early 30's) when he's going to stop trying to make the majors. I couldn't use the word quit. I don't think he understands the word "quit." He said he loves baseball so he'll retire when they rip the uniform off him. He added, he'll then pursue a coaching position.

He was a shortstop in college. He now plays seven positions. He even went to the AFL to try to learn to catch two years into his pro career.

Scidoc ... How much does your son love baseball?

JH,
Nice story.

On the flip side, when son was a freshman he was called on early and often and struggled and he was pushed to the max. Weekdays he would start, weekends he would relieve or close (in lieu of bullpen), he was so frustrated he called one night to tell us he was ready to come home!

Always allow your player to call home to vent, be supportive and listen, offer suggestions, if asked and don't be afraid to play devil's advocate. My suggestion is to remember there are two sides to every story and it's not unusual for the player to feel that coach doesn't like him or he deserves more time than those that have it. Keep in mind that often times upperclassman get the first shot until they lose it, it's just sometimes the right of passage for most. Keep in mind that someday your player will be the starter fighting to keep his spot, tell your player to be prepared for when the time comes and NEVER act like you are better than anyone else.

I generally agree with the idea of being persistent. And the unspoken underlying rule here is to attempt to view the coaches decisions objectively rather than through the prism of your own playing time.

Having said that, there are abundant stories of coaches who have blinders on, and who see everything through a "template". If you don't fit it, you don't play. Troy Aikman started at Oklahoma and left for UCLA when he realized that the promises that OU would throw the ball more were simply made to get him there. There are more than a few other situations like that.

As always, its a question of what the real alternatives are, and what the true "cost" and risks of those alternatives are. Not easy decisions to make.