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Recruiting takes ALL the fun out of the game

P 4pApA100+ posts
Our 2012 LHP is the midst of the recruiting scene. For academic reasons, he is pursuing the JUCO route and we are quite satisfied with the interest he has gotten so far. However, the recruiting scenarios has definitely taken the fun and simple joy out of watching him play. Every event is like a prolonged job interview. Any insight on how to handle the stress we feel on his behalf while not letting it get the best of us and/or him.
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J junior5100+ posts
During my junior year up to the time I committed I felt like I wasn't sure how much fun the game was... or if it even was fun anymore. The only thing you can do is play it out and try to act like it's just another day on a baseball field. Once that time comes where you don't have to worry about the recruiting "garbage" the game becomes even more fun than before... atleast it did for me.
BOFBOF10,000+ posts
It's funny my son told me over the week-end that he misses playing in front of all of the scouts. Said there was more on the line and made it more interesting and meaningful and intense. Parallel to this we have been talking about how his summer team is also playing flat, all of the kids are committed and don't seem to carry the same intensity. Use the adrenaline to your advantage.
Coach_MayCoach_May10,000+ posts
It never stops. And if you don't learn how to lose yourself in the game and simply play for the love of the game you will never truly enjoy where you are and what your doing.

It goes from worrying about playing well so you will make All Stars. To worrying about playing well so you can make varsity. To worrying about playing well in front of the college coaches. To worrying about playing well in the fall so you have a shot of getting playing time in the spring. To worrying about playing well in the spring so you can be in the line up. To worrying about playing well in the summer league to impress the pro scouts. To worrying about getting drafted. To worrying about playing well enough to not get released. To worrying about moving up to Double AA. And on and on it goes.

I reminds me of a good friend of mine who the day of his retirement from Law Enforcement when I asked him a simple question. "If there was one thing you could change about your career or one piece of advice you could give me what would it be?" "Live in the moment and enjoy each day. When I was an officer I couldn't wait to make Corporal. When I was a Corporal I couldn't wait to make Sergeant. When I was a Sergeant all I could think about was making LT. And then all I could think about was making Captain. And woke up one day and it was all over. And I wished I could just go back to being an Officer and simply enjoy doing what I love to do. I realized I had simply wished my whole career away and didn't spend enough time just enjoying what I did."

Tell you son to lose himself in the game. Play the game because he loves to play the game. Live for this at bat. This game. This opportunity. And everything else will take care of itself. And then you take that same advice and simply enjoy watching your son do what he loves to do. And everything else will take care of itself.
GunEmDown10GunEmDown101,000+ posts
It's a good problem to have. There is another way to look at it..... imagine the stress and anxiety of not being recruited.

Help him enjoy his SR year, encourage him to take nothing for granted, cheer him onto play like there is no tomorrow and when the time comes to take the next step, be thankful the door has not been closed and he's been blessed with a few more years.

Enjoy the ride, it'll be over before you (he) know it!

GED10DaD
floridafanfloridafan5,000+ posts
Great post Coach May,
Hits me between the eyes. Although I have gotten better as of late I am always sitting on the edge of my chair watching the next at bat and the next double play ball or errant throw. I can not help but wonder "who in attendance is looking at my son?"
Anyone? No one?

We need to enjoy each and every game while we still can, these are the best years of our lives occuring before our eyes as some of us stress over "what happens next?"

We have been Blessed to enjoy another year of college ball, this was not our strongest desire, but it is what we have.

This year I will avail myself to fully enjoy each and every game and try not to wonder what some MLB scout thinks. This is a gift my son has given me, and I will try my darndest to be more fully appreciative as each game unfolds.
Coach_MayCoach_May10,000+ posts
I love your post FF because it comes from the heart and its you being 100% honest with people. I have been guilty of the same thing at times. Now I simply enjoy seeing my son and his team mates compete at something they love to compete at. I find joy in seeing his team mates have success and his team. I have learned to lose myself in the game as a fan. I don't want to focus on the pitch that was fouled off or should have or should not have been swung at. I want to simply be a fan and enjoy the moment. Anything that comes from this outside of the pure enjoyment of watching them do what they love to do is gravy imo.

Its very hard to enjoy the moment when your focused on everything but the moment. I hear you loud and clear FF. Your not alone. You never have been. I give a lot of advice around here. The fact is many times I am simply telling people, Don't do what I have done - Because I have been there and I don't want you to make the same mistakes I have made.
fenwaysouthfenwaysouth10,000+ posts
quote:
GunEmDown10 said.....It's a good problem to have. There is another way to look at it..... imagine the stress and anxiety of not being recruited.

Help him enjoy his SR year, encourage him to take nothing for granted, cheer him onto play like there is no tomorrow and when the time comes to take the next step, be thankful the door has not been closed and he's been blessed with a few more years.

Enjoy the ride, it'll be over before you (he) know it!


GunEmDown10,

Excellent points to the OPs question.


FloridaFan and Coach May,

To your points...I made a promise to myself this year that I was going to (relax and) try to enjoy every minute of every game that my (3) boys have left on the baseball field. It hasn't been easy, but I'm getting better at it. I figure this coming year I should have this down like an old pro. My wife and I have decided we absolutely are going to try to make every college game we possibly can because it will be over soon. There are people from the West coast that fly out every weekend to see their son's play college baseball. It is incredible. At first I thought they were crazy, but they may be onto something. Enjoy the ride while you can. I'm beginning to see the light.
Last edited by fenwaysouth
ClevelandDadClevelandDadHSBBWeb Administrator
quote:
Originally posted by Coach_May:
It never stops. And if you don't learn how to lose yourself in the game and simply play for the love of the game you will never truly enjoy where you are and what your doing.

It goes from worrying about playing well so you will make All Stars. To worrying about playing well so you can make varsity. To worrying about playing well in front of the college coaches. To worrying about playing well in the fall so you have a shot of getting playing time in the spring. To worrying about playing well in the spring so you can be in the line up. To worrying about playing well in the summer league to impress the pro scouts. To worrying about getting drafted. To worrying about playing well enough to not get released. To worrying about moving up to Double AA. And on and on it goes.

I reminds me of a good friend of mine who the day of his retirement from Law Enforcement when I asked him a simple question. "If there was one thing you could change about your career or one piece of advice you could give me what would it be?" "Live in the moment and enjoy each day. When I was an officer I couldn't wait to make Corporal. When I was a Corporal I couldn't wait to make Sergeant. When I was a Sergeant all I could think about was making LT. And then all I could think about was making Captain. And woke up one day and it was all over. And I wished I could just go back to being an Officer and simply enjoy doing what I love to do. I realized I had simply wished my whole career away and didn't spend enough time just enjoying what I did."

Tell you son to lose himself in the game. Play the game because he loves to play the game. Live for this at bat. This game. This opportunity. And everything else will take care of itself. And then you take that same advice and simply enjoy watching your son do what he loves to do. And everything else will take care of itself.

Love that post!

We are all guilty of looking past the blessings we have and unfortunately don't appreciate them sometimes until they are gone.

GunEmDown10 has offered fine perspective here as well. I've seen people post here many times that they worry that their son's are spending too much time with their girlfriends. Imagine how you'd feel if the girls found them unattractive? That might be something to worry about. Same here - imagine how you'd feel if you desperately wanted to play at the next level and nobody felt that way in return?

Regardless, be thankful that your son even has the possibility to play at the next level and relish the blessings you are receiving today. Tomorrow indeed will take care of itself.
A ashbatMember
boy oh boy i couldn't agree more w/the OP. My son is also a 2012 and right in the middle of it. we're on our way down the road to start a tourn. this afternoon. At least 3 D1's that are looking at him will be there today - again. He's on edge and nervous. He turned 17 a couple days ago. This is the recruiting game today and i'm ok w/that. Doesn't mean it's fun though because it simply isn't. If he has a good week he'll have at least a couple offers by Fri. If he doesn't have a good week this con't for who knows how long. I've been thru this myself - long time ago but i remember it well. Seemed to be fun to me back then but i don't see the fun today. Can't wait till this is over.
observer44observer441,000+ posts
.
quote:
Originally posted by Coach_May:
It never stops. And if you don't learn how to lose yourself in the game and simply play for the love of the game you will never truly enjoy where you are and what your doing.

It goes from worrying about playing well so you will make All Stars. To worrying about playing well so you can make varsity. To worrying about playing well in front of the college coaches. To worrying about playing well in the fall so you have a shot of getting playing time in the spring. To worrying about playing well in the spring so you can be in the line up. To worrying about playing well in the summer league to impress the pro scouts. To worrying about getting drafted. To worrying about playing well enough to not get released. To worrying about moving up to Double AA. And on and on it goes.

I reminds me of a good friend of mine who the day of his retirement from Law Enforcement when I asked him a simple question. "If there was one thing you could change about your career or one piece of advice you could give me what would it be?" "Live in the moment and enjoy each day. When I was an officer I couldn't wait to make Corporal. When I was a Corporal I couldn't wait to make Sergeant. When I was a Sergeant all I could think about was making LT. And then all I could think about was making Captain. And woke up one day and it was all over. And I wished I could just go back to being an Officer and simply enjoy doing what I love to do. I realized I had simply wished my whole career away and didn't spend enough time just enjoying what I did."

Tell you son to lose himself in the game. Play the game because he loves to play the game. Live for this at bat. This game. This opportunity. And everything else will take care of itself. And then you take that same advice and simply enjoy watching your son do what he loves to do. And everything else will take care of itself.


Oustanding post.

Control what you can...preparation, attitude, effort, playing each pitch to the best of your ability, enjoy the moment...the rest will be what it is, you have no control over it. While you cannot ignore it, the ouside stuff only has the amount of emotional energy that you give it, that's completely up to you. Put into place a solid backup/fallback plan Plan C "we can always do this"...that way Plan A and PLan B may happen but they do not have to, they become what they are upside, not expectation.

Cool 44
.
fanofgamefanofgame5,000+ posts
quote:
Its very hard to enjoy the moment when your focused on everything but the moment. I hear you loud and clear FF. Your not alone. You never have been. I give a lot of advice around here. The fact is many times I am simply telling people, Don't do what I have done - Because I have been there and I don't want you to make the same mistakes I have made.


fillsfanfillsfan1,000+ posts
I agree it is very frustrating and nerve racking. But I think these emotions are more an issue with us parents than with the players themselves.

My experience through my son's tournament years was that at 15 years old, when his team first started playing in scouted tournaments, he was aware and a little in awe that recruiters and scouts were watching. By the time he was 16-17 it was no big deal to see them at every game. From what I could see, and from talking to other parents, most players on his teams felt the same way. Although I know he wanted to perform well in front of this audience, he was not nervous and did not obess on them they way I quietly did.

I think once a game starts and the adreniline starts flowing what is happening on the field becomes the players focus, not who is watching.

IMO as a parent wanting nothing but the best for our children we live and die on every pitch, at bat and fielding play much more than our players do. Just like we do in every other aspect of their lives.
S SpoonMember
As a dad whose son just went through the recruiting process, I can relate to many of the situations you all are speaking of.

Life often imitates baseball as Coach mentioned. We longingly look beyond the day to day stresses thinking that what lies ahead will certainly be better. We miss the joys of everyday life by simply focusing on the tough spots and how we can move beyond them.

In regards to baseball, I found myself doing the same thing with my oldest son. Every step was always building towards the future making it difficult to appreciate the present. "I hope he makes the travel team. Will he make varsity as a sophomore? Get your innings in as a junior to position yourself as the number one senior year. Good senior year and you'll make all conference. Do well on summer and fall showcase teams and you'll have more college options". Well, he's finally in college and now I realize in 4 short years it could all be over.

That light bulb comes on for all of us at some point; hopefully it's before the journey is over. Take solace in the fact that when your son looks back on the journey, I bet what he'll remember most is the dedication and commitment you've shown supporting his dream.

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