This is me being picky after having watched countless recruiting tapes in my time as a recruiter, but let me tell you what type of things worked for us.
The introduction: Highly unnecessary. We have gotten your tape, it has your name, position, etc on the outside of the tape. No need to put an introduction and waste time. We want to see you play, not see you talk. We've already gotten all the info you're going to say in your information you included w/ the tape.
Keep it no longer than 5 minutes, and please please please do not include entire live at-bats from games, or entire innings pitched. Show us your tools, not the 60 seconds in between.
For hitters, show BP hitting from the profile view so we can see your swing straight on. No need to show more than 15-20 swings. We'll see what we need by then. If possible, also include 15-20 swings with the camera 30 feet or so behind home plate so we can see how you hit pitches that are in, middle, and away.
On defense, show 10-15 ground balls, including a few DP's if you're a middle infielder. Show a couple of throws to 1st w/ the camera behind the 1st base bag so we can see your mechanics and your carry across the infield.
In outfield, show yourself fielding 15 or so ground balls and fly balls. Also show yourself throwing to 3rd base from right field with the camera either behind you or behind 3rd base so we can guage your arm.
Catchers, show yourself blocking a few pitches, receiving a few pitches pitches, and 5 pops w/ the camera behind 2nd base so the coach can get his own pop-time on you from the video. (Can't tell you the number of times a catcher will say in his letter he throws a 1.95, then we time him on the video and it's a 2.25 5x in a row).
Pitchers, show yourself throwing 8-10 reps of each of your pitches from behind home plate from both pitching positions. If you have a radar gun available that can be clocking you and be seen by the camera, that is just an added bonus. Also include 8-10 profile shots so the coach can see things he can't see from behind home plate (such as staying back, etc.)
Lastly, take a few cuts and sprint to 1st base so the coach can get his own home-1st time on you. If there is a football field available where you can run the 60 and the yardage is on the field, the coach can see that you're starting on the goal-line and running to the opposite 40 yard-line and knows its a legit 60, do it.
It really is not too complicated, just show your tools and don't waste time w/ fluffing it up w/ rock music or overused slo-mo.
This is just based off my experience, and my conversations with other college coaches. Opinions may differ a bit, but the key is: SHOW YOUR TOOLS. You want to be able to let him determine how good he feels you are w/out him feeling like you tried to sneak something by him.
Sorry for taking so much space here guys. Hopefully some other people that have had experience can lend their opinions as well.
Best of luck!!!