References for programs

@Confused2023 posted:

Is it considered normal for a player or family to reach out to existing families about a program when being recruited? Is this how that is done?

Yes, it's ok. I reached out to another mom, I did not know, who lived in this area.  If I remember, the info was given to son from one of the summer coaches. 

I had a friend who knew a mom whose kid was in my son's program. She set up a call for the two of us. We spent two hours on the phone and I felt way more prepared when son chose the school and went there. I will say though, remember that every kid's experience is different. They have different relationships with coaches, come in with different backgrounds and have different academic situations all of which can contribute to how a player perceives the program, and how the program perceives him, and how coaches treat them.

@Iowamom23 posted:

I had a friend who knew a mom whose kid was in my son's program. She set up a call for the two of us. We spent two hours on the phone and I felt way more prepared when son chose the school and went there. I will say though, remember that every kid's experience is different. They have different relationships with coaches, come in with different backgrounds and have different academic situations all of which can contribute to how a player perceives the program, and how the program perceives him, and how coaches treat them.

That is excellent advice 

Yes, very good advice. Speak to as many people as you can. Current players, parents, alumni, etc. Everyone has a different lens and experience, but more information is better than less. 

Also note that sometimes the coaches have some of the players follow recruits (insta/twitter, etc). 

Coach Forbes at UNC said "someone is always watching". They have full time staff coming player accounts, tweets, and social media and have a zero tolerance policy. 

@Confused2023 posted:

Is it considered normal for a player or family to reach out to existing families about a program when being recruited? Is this how that is done?

I don't know if it is normal, but it certainly is wise.   This is a major financial $$ investment.  This is part of doing your due diligence on the program, coach, education experience and lot of other considerations.   Your son is making one of the biggest decisions of his young life.   I would talk to anybody who is willing to talk.  There are a handful of posters I spoke (and corresponded with) over the years on HSBBWeb about their experiences as student/athlete parents with a few of the schools my son was considering.  I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

Best of luck!

I attended games at as many places as was feasible on my son’s list. I found parents and chatted them up. I asked how their son ended up choosing ABC U.  Most parents told me their son’s entire recruiting story. Parents love to talk about their kids. Just ask the question, shut up and listen. 

Another tidbit that I did....No one likes to talk about, but it happens, esp D-1...

Check with NCAA for any "probations" or athletic/academic violations current or within the last 5 years...

@baseballmom posted:

Another tidbit that I did....No one likes to talk about, but it happens, esp D-1...

Check with NCAA for any "probations" or athletic/academic violations current or within the last 5 years...

Good advice. We actually knew a lot about Clemson beforehand, but after doing our homework on other programs and coaches, there were 2 that we were advised not to even take seriously.  There was actually a webster here that warned us about one coach, who actually showed up at a game and afterwards got my husband and I in the parking lot after the game and he definetly was crossed off the list after that. This guy actually drove us crazy. As well as son.

I know that parents here often say they don't talk to coaches, but in all honesty at sometime before a commitment you need to have THAT talk. Also you might want to reach out to anyone here as well. 

Thank you all for the help!  We dont know the parents that we will reach out to, but hope we can get some responses!