Kid will be rooming with three other players -- all outfielders, all recruited. Wondering if that's a good thing or bad thing. On the plus side it's great to have roomies with common interests and similar challenges. On the minus side, is it really a good thing to be rooming with the guys you are directly competing against?
Replies sorted oldest to newest
Guess I should have searched first and asked later. Nice thread on this issue here:
Kid will be rooming with three other players -- all outfielders, all recruited. Wondering if that's a good thing or bad thing. On the plus side it's great to have roomies with common interests and similar challenges. On the minus side, is it really a good thing to be rooming with the guys you are directly competing against?
Slugger Dad:
My 2015 didn't have a choice (maybe next year) it was random. RFan Jr (155 lb CF/SS) will be rooming with a punter/place kicker (CA) and 265 lb Tight end (MN).
He was actually looking for more diversity (maybe non athletes). Certainly will have some variety based on where they they lived (We are in New England). Maybe they will enjoy his country music.
On the pro side to rooming with athletes of the same sport- you have often have common schedules both school and athletic.The con side is that you spend much time with the teammates with college baseball, then when you go to unwind in your dorm, you are still with them. My guess is that next year, one of son's roommates will either be either a baseball player, or one who is strong in the sciences.
My son's school puts all the baseball guys together...2 to a room. They got to pick their roommate, and as long as a baseball guy was available, they were expected to room with them. I would think it would work good....for early morning lifting (2 alarms instead of one) and the late season games, where the other students have already packed up and left town. He's a P/IF, his roommate is an OF, so they're not competing against each other.
My son's freshman year, students were required to live on campus. Coach had baseball players staying together. My son had 2 roommates. One left the school after that year, the other is still on the team. They are friends, but not close. My son is a pitcher and that guy is a catcher. My son does say he would rather throw to him over any other catcher.
Sophomore year he lived in a house with two other pitchers. Those guys were a year ahead of him and last year was their last year on the team. He still considers those two to be his best friends. The fact that they were all pitchers had no bearing on them as friends. Might have even helped.
Junior year he lived in an apartment with his girlfriend and a girl on the soccer team. He seemed to do very well with this set up. Although in some senses, I think I like the idea of living with some teammates more. His girlfriend did help with helping him focus more on the academics I think. He'll be doing the same thing this upcoming year. The good thing is about 3/4 of his teammates live in this apartment complex, some in the same building as him and they all do stuff together.
Kid will be rooming with three other players -- all outfielders, all recruited. Wondering if that's a good thing or bad thing. On the plus side it's great to have roomies with common interests and similar challenges. On the minus side, is it really a good thing to be rooming with the guys you are directly competing against?
At JuCo, the coach matched our son (1B) up with a pitcher. It more or less worked out well. They stayed together during the 2nd year even after his roommate quit the team late in his freshman year.
At the D2 university, the coach matched him up with another position player (SS) while my son was primarily 1B. They actually hit it off for the most part. Of the other two roommates (there were 4 total), one was a basketball player and the other was a competing 1B.
Buckeye. I know a pitcher on your son's team (and family) very well. He had a really nice experience there his freshman year as far as roommate. He was hurt so did not get to play, but from a roommate point of view, it was a great year for him
My son did not have a great, in fact really bad, experience his freshman year as far as roommates. Unlike Buckeyes son college which puts kids from different positions as roommates, my son's college generally puts players from same position in rooms together. Son had a very success freshman year on field, his roommate (who was highly touted coming in) never saw the field. This young man had issues all year with most of team according to my son. No sure why or what happened and none of my business. But to my son who is easy going off the field, it was intolerable. Most of spring semester he hung out at other teammates dorm or apartments. Basically slept in his room and nothing else. Not sure if it was because both were in same position and one struggled or not.
this year he is living in an apartment with 3 other players (all at least a year older than he is) whom he considers some of his closest friends on team. They do each have their own bedroom, so if he needs to get away he can.
I like the idea of rooming with teammates, The daily routine is quite different than a non athlete (up early for 6am workouts vs up late as a non athlete generally are).Not sure I like idea of rooming with same positions at least as freshman.
.....
I like the idea of rooming with teammates, The daily routine is quite different than a non athlete (up early for 6am workouts vs up late as a non athlete generally are).Not sure I like idea of rooming with same positions at least as freshman.
yeah it was the same position part that had me a little --well, worried isn't quite the right word -- maybe curious is better.
No cut and dry answer.
S's school randomly assigns roommates with no consideration given to athletes/non athletes. The second year you get to choose your roommates/rooms. He didn't live with an athlete first year, and choose to continue that his second year (after that he had a single room). Perhaps half his class choose to live with teammates the second year; the rest chose either other sport athletes or regular students.
For him, it allowed for an enormous expansion in his social circle. He constantly had either baseball or regular social options. He was never a kid who was into art, theater, acapella, etc., before he went off to college. His roommates the first year introduced him to new areas of interests which introduced him to new things way outside of baseball/athletics. Conversely, his roommates became ardent fans as he introduced them into the world of the jock. it was a win-win.
When he needed it, he was able to get away from baseball. After a crappy game or practice he didn't need to remain immersed in baseball or listen to a roommate who had a similar day; he was able to build a non baseball persona - that would have been very difficult without a strong social circle outside baseball. Additionally, (and I cast no stones at athletes here) studying was generally better with regular students.
One of his friends attended a good D1 baseball school located in the Northwest. The school assigned athletes from the same sports as roommates. He made the travel roster as a freshman, but decided the day before the season began that his passion for baseball had evaporated and he quit the team. It took him a full year to create a new social network not bottomed on baseball and it was a very awkward second semester.
For those who have attended a Headfirst Camp, one of the HF principles (Sullivan?) attended Duke undergrad (after professional baseball was over he went on to Harvard business school). In his speech to the campers, he was adamant that his biggest mistake in college was living with and hanging with only baseball players - he felt it stunted his social growth (not because they were baseball players, but because it was such a small circle). When he went to grad school, he consciously made efforts to expand his social circle.
One size doesn't fit all. For S, not living with baseball players worked very, very well.
At sons school baseball players room together and r in same dorm(near field), not necessarily same floor. Works well because they r on same schedule and don't have to deal w roommate who stays up late while they need sleep to get up very early. Still opportunity to meet other non athletes in rooms nearby, as well as they meet people in their major in classes.
My son's freshman year, students were required to live on campus. Coach had baseball players staying together. My son had 2 roommates. One left the school after that year, the other is still on the team. They are friends, but not close. My son is a pitcher and that guy is a catcher. My son does say he would rather throw to him over any other catcher.
Sophomore year he lived in a house with two other pitchers. Those guys were a year ahead of him and last year was their last year on the team. He still considers those two to be his best friends. The fact that they were all pitchers had no bearing on them as friends. Might have even helped.
Junior year he lived in an apartment with his girlfriend and a girl on the soccer team. He seemed to do very well with this set up. Although in some senses, I think I like the idea of living with some teammates more. His girlfriend did help with helping him focus more on the academics I think. He'll be doing the same thing this upcoming year. The good thing is about 3/4 of his teammates live in this apartment complex, some in the same building as him and they all do stuff together.
Wow.
I don't know too many young guys that wouldn't do very well with that set up. 
Thought maybe I would resurrect this thread. As with everything college we're wrought with ambivalence.. LOL. But then we decide & don't look back.. We're at a similar crossroads now with housing.
My son is a combo athletic/academic scholarship student at a D1 mid-major starting this Fall & has options to stay in honors housing, in which he could live in a four bedroom apartment with his own room. That appeals to him. Otherwise, Coach tends to want to put Freshmen together in regular dorms (4-6 to a dorm & one toilet/shower - my wife's worst nightmare - LOL), but coach also says he's fine with wherever my son wants to live.
Honors housing is a LOT nicer (cleaner, newer, bigger bed, etc) & less than $1k difference per year so financially not a huge deal. He's a fun guy & loves to goof off & video game as much as anyone but is not into drinking or drugs & says High School bus is often a drinking fest and many of the HS team drinks & does weed, etc.. (I'm not judging, it's just not HIS thing)
My thinking is, even though the whole thing is a crapshoot either way, that he probably has a higher chance of being with kids that are more motivated as far as school is concerned by being in the honors housing & will meet a more diverse group of people.. AND he's going to be spending regardless a LOT of time with the team no matter where he lives. And, sometimes it would be nice to get away & having your own room is a big bonus as well.
My hesitation is I don't want people with the impression that my son thinks he's better than other people by living in the "special" dorm and/or any negative ramifications from not living with the team.
Both my son & I are leaning towards the Honors housing but both have the same hesitations as to negative perceptions/consequences with the team (my wife / his mom is all-in for the Honors housing) & we need to decide soon.
There’s the boot camp, embrace the suck bonding thing - but I’d opt for the private room and better sleep…
My son was very lucky with his random roommate in juco - both loved to sleep (Trev was his best man last year). However, there were plenty of horror stories about mismatched pairings that a private room would have solved.
At Arkansas, he rented a house with 3 other ball players - good times I’m told? It was all about having private rooms and the ability to sleep - or so they said… lol.
@YachtRocker As you said, I'm sure either way will work out in the end.
My son’s experience living with teammates was mostly positive:
Built in support system during a critical time of adjustment freshman year. It’s easier to drag yourself out of bed at 6am for lifts if the guy sleeping next to you has to do the same thing. Even honors kids probably sleep in until class time.
Finding your place in the social hierarchy of the team is easier if you have a built-in partner. Kind of a package deal when guys are getting together or going places.
Living with teammates freshman year would probably make transitioning to off-campus housing a little easier later (assuming it’s with teammates).
If your son has chosen a difficult and/or time consuming major, and he chooses the teammate route, he should try to find other serious students to live with. It’s hard enough to maintain the discipline required for a tough course load without a guy playing Fortnite next to you all day (is Fortnite still a thing?).
My son and his freshman roommate ended up living together all 4 years, and they’re still very close friends. Of course if you hate your roommate, that does change the equation. But with all the ways kids communicate these days, they probably have a pretty good idea about their future teammates/roommates long before showing up on campus. Good luck.
Teammates. Living in the honors college isn't going to push him to be a better student, he's going to be way busier than any of those kids ever will ever dream of being. And living with more diverse group doesn't actually mean anything if he's going to be spending 95% of his time with teammates, which he will.
He's going to be a D1 athlete, he should live like a D1 athlete. Save the 1k, put it in your pocket or give him some money each month. God knows he will need it.
My son is in his second year living with his teammates, they are set to move into a house together this summer. He really enjoys it. Of course part of it is also the bond they share for all coming on campus together in the middle of the pandemic and quarantining together.
IMHO...Private room and then have him blame it on you guys if he needs to. There will always be a hang out place for him to go to when he wants to be with the guys socially ... but he gets to pick the circumstances. FWIW, I've seen it both ways, husband and middle daughter always lived with athletes (it wasn't just the schedules...for basketball you could feasibly be on campus for Thanksgiving, winter and spring breaks if you do the thing right...so when they were in dorms it was cheaper for the school to keep them all together). Oldest daughter went to Notre Dame where athletes stayed with NARPS until they moved off campus. She managed women's basketball (did not play) but ended up living with one of the girls players their senior year. Both had great experiences for different reason.
Yatchrocker,
Based on my experience with 3 recent college grads, I'd opt for the Honors dorm. Here's why: As an honors student your son is going to be in a competitive academic environment and he'll have to keep up and maintain a specific GPA to continue that 4 year academic scholarship. You didn't share the athletic scholarship situation so, I'm going to assume it is year to year and not guaranteed.
My middle son and his best friend from high school were supposed to be roommates at Virginia Tech Honors college, both majoring in engineering. My son's friend pulled the old switcheroo and did not want to live with the Honors college kids. My son stayed at the Honors College, because he knew it was the best thing for him long-term. His best friend would end up living with the VT football team and had a great time until he was asked to leave half way through his sophomore year for academic reasons. Living in an honors college may have a "nerd" factor to it, but the good habits, discussions, etc that are learned the first and second semester go a long way to earning his college scholarship and keeping his grades up. I'm 100% in your court on this one.
Good luck!
Nothing to share of relevance on roommate experience. Just an incredible coincidence …
We moved from California to the east coast when my son was a few months old. My son doesn’t recollect if he ever mentioned being born in CA during recruiting. His assigned roommate was from the town we moved from. His older sister and my daughter were in the same kindergarten class and friends. The roommate, his mother, my (now ex) wife and son were in the same Mommy and Me class.
RJM - I think you just blew my mind at 5:23pm on 3/28/22. There is nothing left after a long work day.
There are some programs that encourage athletes to room with other athletes outside of the team. And also room with non athletes. I don't know if I agree with that.
We tend as parents to make life too easy for our kids. Being a college athlete is in no way easy. Son lived in a 1 bedroom apartment 4 beds, 1 bathroom. You had no option and it was covered by the athletic dept. His former roommates are still close and all successful. One just became the asst pcoach for the Cubs. A lot of growing up was done that year.
Most college athletes spend their waking moments in class, in study hall (freshman especially) or in their clubhouse. Many times they arrive late at night or early morning and have 6am lifts, so it's convenient to live with teammates. Then you are on campus spring break when campus is empty.
With that being said I am pretty much in agreement with PAbaseball and MidAtlanticDad.
It's great that, after the injury, he has a college set up for next year, congrats! Answers are trending toward live with the team, and I don't disagree, but would ask you some questions:
- does he like to hang out with the team, or does he prefer to get away from the team? and, does he think the college team will be similar to his HS team, or different? Did he do an overnight visit and get an impression of that?
- is this a very large school where differences in dorms will mean he will never see other people, or is it a smaller school where, even if he's in a different dorm from others, he'll see them anyway?
Roommates are a risk, whether they are on the team or not. He might love a roommate, might hate him. My son was not assigned to room with a teammate, and he really liked his non-athlete roommate, who was a baseball fan. But his school is small, so he can hang out wherever he likes, regardless of his official room.
To answer 'anotherparent'; Yes, very fortunate. after his injury we sought other opinions from the best docs we could, opted to not have surgery, he got PRP from an MLB team doc, and then got very serious with training and ultimately wound up at Cressey, & they helped him out of the root cause of his issue.. Worked very hard & had some good luck & got offered end of last Summer which was for his bat & overall play vs arm velo. Anyway...
He prefers to be able to get away from the team sometimes. This has been the case throughout all his teams. Likes to hang out - but call it a night & not have to fight to go to bed. Has lately really embraced getting more sleep.. though I typically think he should get even more (another topic)
School is medium size I'd say - 13k undergrad enrollment (20k total with grad schools), 3k undergrad live on campus, others very close in apartments, etc.. He could easily hang with team members who stay on campus or go visit teammates that live off campus as he chooses as he can have his car. (Have to drive to another campus for field anyway) It's probably like 750 feet from Honors dorm to the dorm where other underclass team would mostly be. Rest of team lives in Apartments, & a I would guess a few commute from their parents' home.
Don't laugh but he also likes singing & acting, and hanging out with all kinds of people. And yeah there's some gaming too... But in HS he does not go to the parties with team or hang with the "cool" kids.. He does his own thing. His big night out is going to eat with some friends, some of whom are ball players, some not, then maybe hooking up with some teammates to hit at a 24 hour batting place nearby or catching a movie, then maybe coming back and playing a game or working out a bit at home, then calling it a night.
Couldn't say really about other college players, he's observed a couple practices & gone to a couple scrimmages, but seems like many teams they get along as a team but then go do their own thing to some extent.
Really appreciate the many thoughtful responses !!
Thanks everyone for sharing. My kid is rooming with a future college teammate with a host family this summer, a controlled preview of what's to come. He is looking to room with his future team mates...but he did a party in a frat house during his campus visit, I am mentally prepping for this type of child stress .
@2022NYC posted:Thanks everyone for sharing. My kid is rooming with a future college teammate with a host family this summer, a controlled preview of what's to come. He is looking to room with his future team mates...but he did a party in a frat house during his campus visit, I am mentally prepping for this type of child stress .
there are some things a father just doesn't need to know...some of the stories i heard after graduation just reaffirmed that!! LOL relax and enjoy.
@2022NYC posted:Thanks everyone for sharing. My kid is rooming with a future college teammate with a host family this summer, a controlled preview of what's to come. He is looking to room with his future team mates...but he did a party in a frat house during his campus visit, I am mentally prepping for this type of child stress .
Happens to everyone and IMO part of growing up. Don't ask. Don't tell. The best part is that coaches spend a lot of time, especially during FB season, keeping tabs on players and keep them busy enough so they stay out of trouble.
Way before son went off to college he was sent his room mates phone numbers. Within 4,5 months before he arrived they all were familiar with each other and lived with each other for the next 2, 3 years (some were drafted Jr year).
I don't know if that still happens (forming friendships beforehand) but it's a great idea. And I think that it's appropriate depending on the program and the coaches philosophy.
My initial post in this thread was a month before my son started his freshman year in Fall of 2015. Here's how it turned out.
Freshman season: roomed with a kid he had "known"....but not great friends with for the past 6 years thru travel ball. Always thought that he was a good kid. He got offered a couple weeks after my son, called him to ask if he wanted to room with him...so they did. Ended up a complete disaster....the other kid was a complete a$$hat....would eat son's food that he had in the room...ALOT. Would leave and lock the door knowing son was in the room across the hall and didn't have his key...SEVERAL times....and was pretty much just a jerk the entire time. Kid didn't get much P/T and left after freshman year
Sophomore season: Was going to room with another player, who he had also known for a long time. They had decided to move to a more expensive dorm. Four kids....those two and two "non-athletes". Two weeks before school, his friend says he can't afford the new dorm and backs out. Son ended up with 3 band kids. He was expecting the worst....but really never spent any time there. Said he maybe saw 1 of the 3 kids 5 times the entire year.
Junior and Senior seasons. Off campus house with 3 of his HS buddies and a baseball kid or two. They were right next door to a house with 5 of the baseball guys. Ended up loving it....and actually stayed in that house his first year after he graduated because he enjoyed it so much.
