Sammy Sosa asks his attorney how much longer he should pretend that he doesn’t speak English
Baltimore Orioles outfielder Sammy Sosa spoke at length today by phone with his attorney, getting his advice as to how much longer he should pretend that he has no grasp of the English language.
“Our whole strategy last week at the Congressional hearing was to do a sort of Chico Esquela impersonation and hide behind English being my second language,” said Sosa. “I thought I executed the plan stupendously. Everyone knows my English diction and enunciation is near fluent, but I feigned ignorance instead. You could say the man who appeared before Congress was my illiterate Doppelganger.”
But while he’s seemingly free from the focus of the steroids witch hunt for now, Sosa says he doesn’t want to snap back to fluent English too soon and bring undue heat on himself.
“What we decided is that at least for the next week or so that I’m going to start every sentence I say in public with: ‘How you say …’ and then I’m also going to say ‘si’ a lot instead of ‘yes,’” he said. “And then once the season starts everyone will have forgotten about my routine in Congress and I’ll go back to speaking normally.”
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