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What would be a good way to introduce yourself and say you are interested in their progam?

Dear Coach So and So,
I am interested in attending college at (college) and would like to play baseball for you. If you would like to see me play, I have tournament games starting on Thursday and will get you the location before then.
Thank you for your time,
So and so.



would that be ok, should I add/delete content?
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