Should we or should we not

quote:

Plays the field but was not in the batting order. Wondering if this is the norm as a sophomore on a varsity team?

Very Normal


I personally would not talk to the coach. (It just never seems to go well for parents.) I think it goes quite well for players to speak with coaches. If the kid has concerns or questions then as a parent you should talk out with your child how your child should talk it out with the coach.

With that said talk is over-rated..actions speak louder than words. Hustle, hustle, hustle. Good attitude. You probably alread know what he needs to work on. Just get caught doing it. A lot.

If he performs better than his competition and has a good attitude he will play without any conversation.

IMHO--Have him ask coach at end of season what he feels he needs to work on to become a better player. Working core and speed a lot, and then some more, always helps. Best of luck.

quote:

I personally would not talk to the coach. (It just never seems to go well for parents.) I think it goes quite well for players to speak with coaches. If the kid has concerns or questions then as a parent you should talk out with your child how your child should talk it out with the coach.

With that said talk is over-rated..actions speak louder than words. Hustle, hustle, hustle. Good attitude. You probably alread know what he needs to work on. Just get caught doing it. A lot.

If he performs better than his competition and has a good attitude he will play without any conversation.

Excellent post.

I already believe he and you know what the coach will say. The lineup card is the most honest form of communication regarding how the coach actually views things. The good news is that he considers your son one of the better defensive players on the team and that is saying a lot since he is only a sophmore. The not so good news is that he is considered at least the 10th best hitter on the team. The silver lining here of course is that he is only a sophmore. I would encourage the young man to improve his hitting so he breaks into the top nine next season. Perhaps some kids have graduated this year so that task may become easier next year. Of course, there may be kids out there who also want to break into the lineup and thus, it is best to never take anything for granted.

Cleveland Dad and Playfair,

Good advice, I too agree that this very normal in a High School setting. After season is done have your son ask the coach what he needs to work on for next season so he can contribute more for the team. By coming up as a sophmore and at least getting in some defensive playing time and working hard on what the coach tells him, he should be in great shape to contribute more his Junior year. I know alot of sophmores who are brought to varsity don't get any play time at all, so your son is doing just great!

I would ask yourself:

What good do you expect to come out of this parent/coach conversation?

Do you expect the conversation to change the coaches opinions or plans in a positive way?

In my opinion, it will do more harm than good.

If they have a high school summer program, I suggest he commit to it and show his stuff. If he isn't clearly better than the kids older than he is (in the coaches mind) then the older kids may start over him again.

Also, it doesn't matter much what your plans for his baseball future are. It matters more if he is able to out work and out perform against his teammates to win a starting job. No parent talk with a coach will change this basic fact.

We, we, we! Are we playing or is your son playing? You are not his agent. You are a parent. You are there to watch and cheer on the team. If your son would like to get a better feel for his future he should approach the coach. A lot of coaches have exit meetings with players to discuss summer ball, training programs and expectations for the following season.

Without knowing the league rules your son plays in and knowing the rules for our area, sometimes the coaches will have a very good hitter as a DH who is weak on defense and replace him on the field with a good defensive player. This allows him to use 10 players instead of 9 making the team stronger on both sides of the game.
It sounds like your son got on the coach's radar early and saw a way to make the team stronger defensively.

You should talk with your coach and your son should talk with his coach, and the two should never mingle.

MoShortStop09 said: Would like to get the your thoughts on whether we should discuss our son's role for next year?
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Yes, with your son ONLY and only if he wants to discuss it with you. At the HS level it is time to trust him and let him make his own mistakes so he can learn for himself what is really important to him.

Set restrictions that require him to be responsible to you and your family, then support his activities. Show up at the games...not at his practices. For parents, baseball is an EXTRA-curricular activity that is earned by performance at home and in the classroom.

JMO

I agree you only get better by playing more at the HS level, don't soley rely on HS ball, find a good summer and fall team to play on.
Stay out of it, let your son go to the coach to tell him about his future goals and ask what he needs to do to achieve them.
If your son doesn't want to do that, tell him it's time to speak up on his own, one needs to learn how to do that for the next level. It's his game, not yours.

Thanks for all your replys. It is because of folks like you that we feel comfortable to post our questions. And it's amazing the consensus here from everyone is the same. More the reason why we are here seeking all your help.

Certainly will let him speak to his coach once the season is over.

Thanks again!!

Good answers...I'll echo a bunch of good posts....add a little different take...and expand...

I don’t see this as a problem but as a rare opportunity, a teachable moment. You may have already done this, but I sit down with my son and see exactly where he stands on all this. HE has to be ready to consider options and not me deciding that he is ready.
If he is happy in his role, as it stands, the issue is moot, but we discuss that as an option taken. If he is ambitious and passionate and he wants to take action then I ask him help him see the situation short and long term, and decide on the options and a course of action for himself.

If he is among the willing...I have a heart to heart with my son somewhere along these lines....

First, yes, while this is a pretty normal set of circumstances, but there are really few norms. There is only your situation and what you choose to do with it. Second, what a coach said last month, or even last week, is ancient history, the coaches opinion may change over time for the good or the bad. (What have you done for me lately?) Doesn’t make him bad just human. Third, there are often things at work, decisions being made that you cannot see. Fourth, stuff happens. Kids move in. Late talent blooms. Kids lose their passion. Coaches change their minds. Players get hot. People see things differently. Fifth, This is not a static situation. It is dynamic and changing, be part of that change on the positive side. Better yet be above the bubble, so good that there is no question. Sixth, get used to this you are going to see this same sort of challenge for the rest of your life. Best to learn to deal with it now.

You cannot control most of the above, and most of it is short term issues. Let them go. The long term path is development, particularly for a sophomore. What you can do for yourself is develop. To a great extent tomorrow is dictated by today. There are no guarantees, but those who are willing to identify and go after weaknesses, work harder, be more focused and more disciplined can greatly improve their odds...and may even be able to chase down dreams. Are you one of those? Are you willing to pay the price?

Often times in life, part of success is playing to the decision makers. The coach makes the decisions...you want to be one of his decisions. To date he sees something in you, he has opened doors for you. That’s great. To get the doors fully opened you have to get a read on exactly, in detail how he views your game, what specific areas he sees that need improvement, and what he suggests you can do to improve in those areas and become more valuable to him. Armed with that information you have to go to work on your own development and do it in a way that moves you up in his eyes. Coaches usually love kids who are willing to ask for help and put in the time and energy.

That’s what I’d do with my son. If he does all that great, if not at the very least he is getting educated, he is introduced to a different way of looking at things, a vision of the future, a set of values and character, and a possible face to face meeting with the coach that will provide invaluable experience.

44
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From what you've said I'd recommend limiting the discussion to having your son ask the coach what he needs to work on during the off season. It seems reasonable for him to expect a lot of playing time next season and you have simply set your expectations too high this season based on a side comment by the coach. Players and parents tend to take cliche comments that coaches make far too seriously. Coaches tend to make those comments without thinking about how parents and players will take them.

I second the recommendation by other posters to go out and get him playing time during the summer and fall.

quote:

If he performs better than his competition and has a good attitude he will play without any conversation.

Unfortunately, in some cases that just isn't true in HS baseball, but unless you are an accomplished manipulator, which your post makes clear you aren't, you aren't going to have any effect on a coach and all your son can do is work hard to improve and show a good attitude. Once again it sounds like he'll be just fine and get plenty of playing time and at bats as a junior.

When player and coach have their exit meeting at the end of the year, that's when player and coach discuss goals, plans for summer ball and expectations for next year.

Why is it the parents think they need to be in on the discussion with the HC? It's the kid's baseball experience, not mom and dad's. Also, a freshman getting a varsity callup should be lucky they got to sit on the varsity bench and maybe even get in a game here and there. There are very good players in some schools who don't get their shot until junior or senior year. I don't get it.

Even if a player as a sophomore makes JV, then so what. Play JV, sit the varsity bench if called up and talk to the coach again at the end of the year in the exit meeting to talk about the future.

On varsity teams are upperclassmen who paid their dues and the younger guys have to wait their turn.

Again, thanks for all the great advise. We are firm believers that "the cream will rise to the top". Have seen this happened with our son with his skill sets, not our discussion with the coaches.

Yes, we will guide him to speak to his coach once the hs season is over. Encourage him to ask the pertinent questions that would help him.

We go through this once with our child and as parents, we want to make sure that we do the right thing for them. This website is great because of people like you, ones with experiences that they draw from and share with us, newbies.

Thank you again!

Great post O44!

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Why thank you Fungo!...gratified..

44
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O44 you deserve it! You always give great advice and describe many of the things that happened with my son (and me) during his HS years. It's obvious from your words of wisdom that you understand the big picture and especially the role of the parent.

quote:

I sit down with my son and see exactly where he stands on all this. HE has to be ready to consider options and not me deciding that he is ready.
If he is happy in his role, as it stands, the issue is moot, but we discuss that as an option taken.

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most of it is short term issues. Let them go. The long term path is development, particularly for a sophomore. What you can do for yourself is develop. To a great extent tomorrow is dictated by today. There are no guarantees, but those who are willing to identify and go after weaknesses, work harder, be more focused and more disciplined can greatly improve their odds...and may even be able to chase down dreams.

[quote]We want to approach the coach after this season is over and let him know what our son's goals are for baseball after high school. And to get a sense on what role our son will play next year.[/quote

the kid is a sophomore and letting the coach know of the son's baseball goals for after high school?

Parents -- the kids talent will determine what happens to his goals after high school. why do parents have to discuss with a coach what their sons role will be next year? Why not let the kid figure it out or ask the coach? roles for players change one week the kid might be riding the bench and the next he is the starting secondbaseman because somebody got hurt or academics or maybe the secondbaseman was not playing well.

there is a time when parents have to let go and let their kids deal with teachers coaches bosses or whatever.

quote:

Often times in life, part of success is playing to the decision makers. The coach makes the decisions...you want to be one of his decisions.

That is one of the truest statments I have ever read.

playfair,
Paraphrasing your quote - It is important for parents and players to suck up because your competition for playing time is.

Yes, I agree that it is one of the truest statements I've ever read.

Yesterday in the final inning of a game to decide a playoff spot a player who had finally been benched in favor of a better player after starting for 3 seasons pinch hit in the 7th. He was hitting .050 and much better hitters were on the bench. Anyone want to guess who the head of the booster club's son is?

Sad part is that I was standing between the dad of the player who hit and the dad of the player who should've hit. The dad of the player who did hit isn't the parent doing the ******* up and he asked why they put his son in to hit. He's a great guy, but even so it was very tough for me to keep my mouth shut.

The sad part about this is that the kid actually has some talent as a hitter but he was such a favorite that they brought him up to varsity as a sophmore where he was totally overmatched and destroyed his confidence and he never got it back.

CADad, I dont think O44 meant s**king up so much as he meant understanding expectations and performing them. (Or at least that is how I read it.)

But, I get what you mean. Gosh, parents can really ruin things for kids cant they?

We had a parent of a pitcher at our last game of the season speak out loud at our game about how mad they were that their kid had to pitch to the secondary catcher..he is not good blah blah blah. The second catchers parent was sitting on the next bleacher step down. It was an awful moment. I mean the kid finally gets in and the parent has been coming to games all season long supporting the players who are playing waiting to watch her kid and another parent just wrecks the moment.

At the start of the season same parent said to me in the bleachers "My kid is not going to start pitching until X date, we can waste someone elses arm during the preseason." MY KID (a catcher) WAS ON THE MOUND WHEN SHE SAID IT. She did not even blink.

I dont really notice politics on our team (we have no booster club) but boy we sure have our share of parent antics.