Showcases...eh

Your 14 year old freshman son has plenty of time to showcase. Looks like from what you have posted, he spends enough time on baseball.

Why is this so frustrating for you?  Is this what he wants, or what you want?

Be careful of player burn out, happens all of the time.

TPM posted:

Your 14 year old freshman son has plenty of time to showcase. Looks like from what you have posted, he spends enough time on baseball.

Why is this so frustrating for you?  Is this what he wants, or what you want?

Be careful of player burn out, happens all of the time.

 

 

 

It's normal for it to be frustrating for the dad.  The kid wants it, the dad helps him, the kid changes his mind, the dad has no control, the dad loses his mind.  Been there.  And it had nothing to do with it being about me....

Concur plenty of time...best to lay low, help him get stronger and prepare for a good HS season.

Coach_TV posted:

This post is nothing against Showcases....far from it.  This is looking for any input from others before I lose my mind.  My 14yo Freshman son is a kid that works pretty hard at getting better, from hitting instruction, Perfect Game hitting league, Catching camps, .........

More of a venting post then anything, but if anyone has faced this I'd love to hear how you approached it.

What you're dealing with can be normal.  Your kid is motivated, works hard, and you're determined to help your son, and sometimes there's mix messaging with a 14 yr old....  TPM is right that there is plenty of time.....

Give him space, work on skill refinement, getting stronger, faster and preparing for the HS season.  Skip the PBR and PG events at this age.  Let him breathe, and gain confidence from his first HS season.

You can vent here all you want.  You can quietly inform yourself of all of the showcase options that may be necessary if your son decides he'd like to possibly play in college.  The only kids that are getting attention as 14 & 15 yr olds are the very physically mature along with solid skill, and those that are really really motivated.  It's easier for a kid like this to have the  necessary confidence to succeed at early recruiting showcases and camps.

Your son could be talented, but the timing is not there.  I had to forfeit a few camp payments because I was a bit ahead of myself and not dialed into my son needing to be stronger, play more and gain more confidence.

All is good.  Have a beer and enjoy the other sports on right now.

Unless you see your son as a D1 prospect with something to show now it’s too early to be thinking about showcases. 

If your son doesn’t want to do it, you’re throwing your money away no matter how old he is. 

TPM posted:

Your 14 year old freshman son has plenty of time to showcase. Looks like from what you have posted, he spends enough time on baseball.

Why is this so frustrating for you?  Is this what he wants, or what you want?

Be careful of player burn out, happens all of the time.

 

 

 

If playing beyond HS is something he wants...which he says it is, then I want him to know it takes work and not being afraid to fail or what others might think.  Pretty much the same with life goals outside of baseball.

Gov posted:

Coach_TV posted:

This post is nothing against Showcases....far from it.  This is looking for any input from others before I lose my mind.  My 14yo Freshman son is a kid that works pretty hard at getting better, from hitting instruction, Perfect Game hitting league, Catching camps, .........

More of a venting post then anything, but if anyone has faced this I'd love to hear how you approached it.

What you're dealing with can be normal.  Your kid is motivated, works hard, and you're determined to help your son, and sometimes there's mix messaging with a 14 yr old....  TPM is right that there is plenty of time.....

Give him space, work on skill refinement, getting stronger, faster and preparing for the HS season.  Skip the PBR and PG events at this age.  Let him breathe, and gain confidence from his first HS season.

You can vent here all you want.  You can quietly inform yourself of all of the showcase options that may be necessary if your son decides he'd like to possibly play in college.  The only kids that are getting attention as 14 & 15 yr olds are the very physically mature along with solid skill, and those that are really really motivated.  It's easier for a kid like this to have the  necessary confidence to succeed at early recruiting showcases and camps.

Your son could be talented, but the timing is not there.  I had to forfeit a few camp payments because I was a bit ahead of myself and not dialed into my son needing to be stronger, play more and gain more confidence.

All is good.  Have a beer and enjoy the other sports on right now.

Where I do agree that there is time since he is young.  But, in my discussions with him I was trying to convey to him that going to a showcase now is just a measuring mark, meaning that he will get grade and an understanding of where he is now.  He can take that information and work on the things he needs to improve on and then on the next showcase he can (hopefully) show improvement; it will also get him on he radar of PG.

After talking with him the issue is he doesn't want fail (which is true for anyone) and in his eyes going to a showcase and NOT being one of the top kids there, is failing in his eyes; which is far from the truth.

Showcasing at any age can be a catch-22.  Every kid is different.  Showcasing early, even before son had nothing but projectable size to showcase, showed him exactly where he was and more importantly where he was NOT.  It drove son to get to work.  My son loves baseball for what he says is the “weekly report card” it gives him.  Whether from a W-L record, BA, ERA, 60-Time, radar velo  reading, etc.  And showcasing early, at 14, taught him what numbers (sub-7 sixty, 90+ off mound etc) he needed to work toward in addition to simply being a gamer and competitor in HS, travel, showcase, and camp games.  

It took son 4-years of concerted effort to finally have “something to showcase.”  If he waited till 16 or 17 to save his old man money he would not be playing college baseball next year.  Seeing your name at the bottom of an official list is much more sobering and real than dad using his own stop watch at the local HS  track telling you that you just ran a 7.8 and it’s “not good enough.”

One of the mantras on this site is, “Don’t showcase until you have something to showcase.”

In all honesty I believe my son may never have had anything to ever showcase had he not showcased early when he had nothing to showcase.   If that makes any sense?  

I do believe that attending a showcase can absolutely help a player understand his strength and weaknesses and where he fits within his grad class. Highly recommend it.

But I dont believe in making someone do what they dont want to. Son did 2 showcases in HS.  That was it he didnt want to attend another. And only attended one camp. 

He still managed to get a great scholarship at a great program.

Parents, both dads and moms,  have to stop worrying that their players are missing out on something. 

JMO and it will never change. 

Now that the Georgia-Alabama game is headed to OT, I’ll add this:

If you have phenom talent coupled with a great work ethic, one showcase or two at 17 where you light it up may be enough.  

Kids who aren’t phenoms and are “local legends” at best, need to get a clue about just how much ground they need to cover in their HS years if they want to play beyond HS.  Otherwise they risk being a local legend at 17 with a 78mph FB and “PAC-12” typed in their “Colleges Interested In” portion of their PG profile page. 

Showcasing earlier, rather than later, I feel gave my son that clue.   Otherwise he’d never have had known where he was not, and what he had to do to get there.    

Congrats to all you Alabama fans btw.  

TPM posted:

I do believe that attending a showcase can absolutely help a player understand his strength and weaknesses and where he fits within his grad class. Highly recommend it.

But I dont believe in making someone do what they dont want to. Son did 2 showcases in HS.  That was it he didnt want to attend another. And only attended one camp. 

He still managed to get a great scholarship at a great program.

Parents, both dads and moms,  have to stop worrying that their players are missing out on something. 

JMO and it will never change. 

Not even thinking about making him do something he doesn't want to do, never mentioned that.

If playing beyond HS is something he wants...which he says it is, then I want him to know it takes work and not being afraid to fail or what others might think. Pretty much the same with life goals outside of baseball, nothing more...nothing less.  And if you don't want to do something try and have a thought process behind your decision and not answer the question "Why don't you want to do..." with a "I dunno.."  That is how you get squished like grape.

Back to OP, and his frustration.   Tough one.   Bottom line is, if he doesn’t want to do it, best to back off.  He’s got to own all of it.   You pay for it, but he owns it.   

I needled the idea of the “local legend” in a previous post.  There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.  NOT DIRECTING THIS AT OP BUT JUST SAYING, that kids often lose the drive occasionally during the process.  Some for a day, some a season, some lose it forever.  There’s a lot of happiness and pure community baseball  there in that setting.   In all honesty, it’s the purest of baseball.  All kids struggle with the grind of chasing baseball  dreams.   My opinion, but that’s life.   No one ever loves the grind 100% of the time.  Lord knows I need time off from my grind.   Maybe he just wants that weekend off, to do nothing.  We are all allowed to have down days, and we can’t always explain why.   I think that’s ok.  

Best to you and your boy OP.   Take him fishing and don’t talk baseball sometime.  Let him find his way back and maybe he will have an answer for you better than, “I dunno,” as to why he’s not interested in the showcase.  

Coach_TV posted:

This post is nothing against Showcases....far from it.  This is looking for any input from others before I lose my mind.  My 14yo Freshman son is a kid that works pretty hard at getting better, from hitting instruction, Perfect Game hitting league, Catching camps, working out with the HS team at 6am before school and attended a PBR showcase last fall... There is an upcoming PBR Showcase that when I told him it was coming up I got "I don't want to go...I just need some time off".  I can respect that and didn't press based on everything else he's doing. 

BUUUT, when I looked at Perfect Game I found one in Ap.r that he can attend and when he passed on the PBR one he said "Yeah, I need to attend one" and now when I went to sign him up he gives me "I really don't want to do a showcase"
I'm at a total loss here and believe me I've given him every logical discussion I can and all I get is "I just don't want to", no reason why, no logic behind his decision.

More of a venting post then anything, but if anyone has faced this I'd love to hear how you approached it.

Lay off, don’t push him to live out what sounds like your dream, not his.

#1 Assistant Coach posted:

Showcasing at any age can be a catch-22.  Every kid is different.  Showcasing early, even before son had nothing but projectable size to showcase, showed him exactly where he was and more importantly where he was NOT.  It drove son to get to work.  My son loves baseball for what he says is the “weekly report card” it gives him.  Whether from a W-L record, BA, ERA, 60-Time, radar velo  reading, etc.  And showcasing early, at 14, taught him what numbers (sub-7 sixty, 90+ off mound etc) he needed to work toward in addition to simply being a gamer and competitor in HS, travel, showcase, and camp games.  

It took son 4-years of concerted effort to finally have “something to showcase.”  If he waited till 16 or 17 to save his old man money he would not be playing college baseball next year.  Seeing your name at the bottom of an official list is much more sobering and real than dad using his own stop watch at the local HS  track telling you that you just ran a 7.8 and it’s “not good enough.”

One of the mantras on this site is, “Don’t showcase until you have something to showcase.”

In all honesty I believe my son may never have had anything to ever showcase had he not showcased early when he had nothing to showcase.   If that makes any sense?  

That makes no sense 

Coach_TV posted:

TPM posted:

I do believe that attending a showcase can absolutely help a player understand his strength and weaknesses and where he fits within his grad class. Highly recommend it.

But I dont believe in making someone do what they dont want to. Son did 2 showcases in HS.  That was it he didnt want to attend another. And only attended one camp. 

He still managed to get a great scholarship at a great program.

Parents, both dads and moms,  have to stop worrying that their players are missing out on something. 

JMO and it will never change. 

Not even thinking about making him do something he doesn't want to do, never mentioned that.

If playing beyond HS is something he wants...which he says it is, then I want him to know it takes work and not being afraid to fail or what others might think. Pretty much the same with life goals outside of baseball, nothing more...nothing less.  And if you don't want to do something try and have a thought process behind your decision and not answer the question "Why don't you want to do..." with a "I dunno.."  That is how you get squished like grape.

Coach_TV posted:

TPM posted:

I do believe that attending a showcase can absolutely help a player understand his strength and weaknesses and where he fits within his grad class. Highly recommend it.

But I dont believe in making someone do what they dont want to. Son did 2 showcases in HS.  That was it he didnt want to attend another. And only attended one camp. 

He still managed to get a great scholarship at a great program.

Parents, both dads and moms,  have to stop worrying that their players are missing out on something. 

JMO and it will never change. 

Not even thinking about making him do something he doesn't want to do, never mentioned that.

If playing beyond HS is something he wants...which he says it is, then I want him to know it takes work and not being afraid to fail or what others might think. Pretty much the same with life goals outside of baseball, nothing more...nothing less.  And if you don't want to do something try and have a thought process behind your decision and not answer the question "Why don't you want to do..." with a "I dunno.."  That is how you get squished like grape.

He has a 14 year old brain. I dunno is a thought process for him. The thought process you need to concern yourself with is yours. Listen to the feedback you have received. Pretty much a concensus in letting the kid breathe. You are the one pushing for it. I know kids who never attended a showcase who are at Power 5 schools and were not studs at 14. Let the kid grow and live a little. He will resent you less in the long run.

And here is a newsflash for you - most kids at a showcase are not studs. So you will be comparing yourself to kids often times just like yourself, so you have to ask yourself, what are you hoping to gain by going? A scholarship offer? Not likely to happen. Catch a coaches eye? Probably too early. Sounds like you have the kid on a death march to burnout. 

All you can really do is encourage and educate both yourself and him on the process. I always knew I wanted to play college baseball but didn’t realize how hard I needed to work at it until my junior year of high school and started showcasing pretty hard then. Perfect game is a great way to showcase your talent but only really if you’re ready. If you don’t have something tangible such as a sub 2.00 pop time, a good 60, or light up a radar gun, it may be best to do perfect game when you have such skills.

getting on a team that plays high profile tournaments is a great way to get in front of the right people.

When he’s ready to showcase, encourage him and hopefully he will have fun. I attended as many showcases as I could. The best results I found were from showcases held at my summer teams facility, and at a showcase hosted by a specific college. I received upwards of 15 offers just by showcasing in front of schools that wouldn’t have seen me otherwise.

Coach_TV posted:

Gov posted:

Coach_TV posted:

This post is nothing against Showcases....far from it.  This is looking for any input from others before I lose my mind.  My 14yo Freshman son is a kid that works pretty hard at getting better, from hitting instruction, Perfect Game hitting league, Catching camps, .........

More of a venting post then anything, but if anyone has faced this I'd love to hear how you approached it.

What you're dealing with can be normal.  Your kid is motivated, works hard, and you're determined to help your son, and sometimes there's mix messaging with a 14 yr old....  TPM is right that there is plenty of time.....

Give him space, work on skill refinement, getting stronger, faster and preparing for the HS season.  Skip the PBR and PG events at this age.  Let him breathe, and gain confidence from his first HS season.

You can vent here all you want.  You can quietly inform yourself of all of the showcase options that may be necessary if your son decides he'd like to possibly play in college.  The only kids that are getting attention as 14 & 15 yr olds are the very physically mature along with solid skill, and those that are really really motivated.  It's easier for a kid like this to have the  necessary confidence to succeed at early recruiting showcases and camps.

Your son could be talented, but the timing is not there.  I had to forfeit a few camp payments because I was a bit ahead of myself and not dialed into my son needing to be stronger, play more and gain more confidence.

All is good.  Have a beer and enjoy the other sports on right now.

Where I do agree that there is time since he is young.  But, in my discussions with him I was trying to convey to him that going to a showcase now is just a measuring mark, meaning that he will get grade and an understanding of where he is now.  He can take that information and work on the things he needs to improve on and then on the next showcase he can (hopefully) show improvement; it will also get him on he radar of PG.

After talking with him the issue is he doesn't want fail (which is true for anyone) and in his eyes going to a showcase and NOT being one of the top kids there, is failing in his eyes; which is far from the truth.

It is a "measuring mark" and can be helpful to identify strength and weaknesses.  This can be done at the cheaper local level without getting him on the public radar with so so measurables and especially when he's not "feeling it".

Give him time to regain some confidence with his skill set.  It is a fact  that not all kids at the showcases or camps are "superstars".  This is where it's helpful that your son can see where he fits in with his peer group, and you can witness it as well.  Sometimes we find out are kids are better or not as good as we think they are.  That's acceptable, it's part of the process.

But, again, he's gotta have some confidence with whatever skill set he has, and, if he's not feelin it, let some time pass.... there will be plenty of summer showcases and camps where you can measure his skills.

Coach_TV posted:

This post is nothing against Showcases....far from it.  This is looking for any input from others before I lose my mind.  My 14yo Freshman son is a kid that works pretty hard at getting better, from hitting instruction, Perfect Game hitting league, Catching camps, working out with the HS team at 6am before school and attended a PBR showcase last fall... There is an upcoming PBR Showcase that when I told him it was coming up I got "I don't want to go...I just need some time off".  I can respect that and didn't press based on everything else he's doing. 

BUUUT, when I looked at Perfect Game I found one in Ap.r that he can attend and when he passed on the PBR one he said "Yeah, I need to attend one" and now when I went to sign him up he gives me "I really don't want to do a showcase"
I'm at a total loss here and believe me I've given him every logical discussion I can and all I get is "I just don't want to", no reason why, no logic behind his decision.

More of a venting post then anything, but if anyone has faced this I'd love to hear how you approached it.

I know for my 2018, after he committed he was relieved that he did not have to attend any further camps/showcases.  Even though he enjoyed preparing and attending, they are extremely stressful for the ball player to show well enough to be seen...it was always good to see his face light up when he ran a PR in the 60 or threw for a high velocity, having a day at the plate, etc..., but you have to remember that these boys exhaust themselves for the single day or two day event...going all out for the showcase portion and then still having to go all out for the games is a little tough, I'm sure of it. 

I think he only turned down 1 camp throughout his time, and that was because his arm wasn't full strength after taking time off from throwing.  Your son is only 14, so you have time...you said you did the PBR, so you have a baseline of where he is at...i would wait until either beginning or end of summer to do another one.  Unless he is throwing mid to upper 80's or mashing at the plate, then i wouldn't worry about it as it probably is not time yet.

Agree with TPM and others here who counsel that nudging young players into events they're not ready to buy into, themselves, can be part of a recipe for burnout.

However, I can't agree with the notion that showcases should be avoided, generally, because they can be stressful. College and professional baseball are loaded with stressful situations, and events which pit the high school-aged player against the best competition come as close as any to revealing how players perform in stressful circumstances. It's good for them...and the ones who are evaluating them...to see how they tend to respond to that.

For many kids the term "showcase" means something different than the adults think it means.  Even the name makes it sound like you are there to SHOW something, which is true.  I can understand a 14 year old thinking "Nope, I don't want to stand next to the 18 year old throwing 90 and I'm trying to break 75.  I don't want to stand next to the 6'3 210 pound catcher, with a full beard, and a sub 2 pop time while I'm skin and bones and I'll look like I'm in slow motion.

None of that sounds fun to me either.  What I did with my son (a 2020) was we sat down and talked about HIS goals and how to reach them.  We set specific measurables that IF he reached them I would take him to a showcase.  Paying $700 plus room and board to watch my kid throw 80 isn't cost efficient.  85, well maybe, 90 for sure, but 80?  No, and actually at this point he is SOOO focused on one school showcasing may never happen, and that's fine too.

Just an FYI, I saw very little scouts at 15u, the bulk don't come until 16u.  I've also known plenty of D1 super stars that didn't commit until 12th grade, they had the offers in 10th grade, but wanted to be sure.  So far it has worked out for all of them. So, what is your kid doing that you think he needs to be seen? Feel free to send me a PM.

Iowamom23 posted:

If your son doesn’t want to do it, you’re throwing your money away no matter how old he is. 

+1.  You're job as parent is to enable him and show him the possibilities.   He is not ready to be enabled.  Let it happen in his time.  You've done your job.

As always, JMO.   Good luck!

CaCO3Girl posted:

For many kids the term "showcase" means something different than the adults think it means.  Even the name makes it sound like you are there to SHOW something, which is true.  I can understand a 14 year old thinking "Nope, I don't want to stand next to the 18 year old throwing 90 and I'm trying to break 75.  I don't want to stand next to the 6'3 210 pound catcher, with a full beard, and a sub 2 pop time while I'm skin and bones and I'll look like I'm in slow motion.

None of that sounds fun to me either.  What I did with my son (a 2020) was we sat down and talked about HIS goals and how to reach them.  We set specific measurables that IF he reached them I would take him to a showcase.  Paying $700 plus room and board to watch my kid throw 80 isn't cost efficient.  85, well maybe, 90 for sure, but 80?  No, and actually at this point he is SOOO focused on one school showcasing may never happen, and that's fine too.

Just an FYI, I saw very little scouts at 15u, the bulk don't come until 16u.  I've also known plenty of D1 super stars that didn't commit until 12th grade, they had the offers in 10th grade, but wanted to be sure.  So far it has worked out for all of them. So, what is your kid doing that you think he needs to be seen? Feel free to send me a PM.

Good points.

Not sure of the dialog between Coach TV and his player, but sitting down and setting goals (developing a timeline) with your player is important for EVERYONE.  It's not about what WE think they need to do to get better, but rather a collaborated effort between parent, player and should also include trusted coaches as well.

Don't let your son focus too early on one program. That is what happened to mine. It was always about one program. Then one day he realized there were more opportunities that were a better fit. 

 One last point, we also have to make sure that we are not the ones putting the pressure on, that our players are afraid of. A player at 14 is not graded against the 18 year old, but rather those in his class. Maybe that is something that needs to be conveyed to him.  CaCo3girl point about meeting certain measurables before expensive showcases is a very good one.  My understanding is that ratings cover future potential at that moment in time. Doing something you don't have to, yet, is an important step in getting the people that you want, to pay attention.

HSBBW has a timeline, outdated, very! It's a shame that no one wants to make any effort to make info provided here better for those seeking information and advice. 

This thread further illuminates how all parents have to tread that line between helping/pushing their son a bit to help him attain HIS goals v. pressuring him into something that he does not really want.  Everyone needs a push from time to time - but too much is not good either...  Sounds like the OP is facing a common situation and doing his best at walking that line.  Keep the faith your son is still young and there will be plenty of showcase and other opportunities in the future.

My son started doing showcases before he had "anything to showcase"....waaaaaay before lol.  His first showcase was at a D1...it was the summer after 7th grade.  It said they would take grades 8-12 and he wanted to go so we did.  He and a friend were the only 2 8th graders registered (they told us when we signed in).  It was a couple hour drive so we went the night before and were the first ones at the field.  My son and his friend were SMALL....probably 5' and maybe 90 lbs at the time...both were MIF...and my son pitched.  They walked in that morning acting like they owned the place....UNTIL the "big boys" started showing up.  Juniors and seniors from all the top HS's in Ohio.....ALOT of them.  Next thing I know the boys are in the back, leaning against the wall. 

Camp starts.....an SEC assistant coach immediately takes a liking to them...and basically stuck with them the entire morning session.  He put them at SS while the big boys were batting...and they held their own.   Some of the other players actually came over during lunch to talk to them and tell them it was pretty cool that they could play with those guys.   The SEC coach came over to me after the event and said "man, I always like seeing young guys come to things like this....if they can handle this....they'll handle anything".   My son and his friend didn't stop talking about that camp all summer....and when they got back together on a summer team 3 years later it just kept coming up over and over.

I guess my point is...you don't know what's gonna happen unless you try.  If my son would have fell apart that day and looked like a little kid out there he may have gotten frustrated and given up....who knows....but there was no way to know without trying it.  We saw plenty of kids have a "bad showcase"...heck, it's no different than going into a game and walking the first 3 guys you face...it happens.  Kids deal with it better than parents lol. 

It's good to go through the paces just to have a feel. I would attend the closest show case to your home for observation. Player will have an opportunity to see what happens at his position and will want to practice those measurable activities.

once he sees others on the field, his desire may take over and he'll be asking for his turn at 15.

Trial Run--Local college should be an inexpensive way to go for the first one. Then he'll be ready for you to pay the piper.

My sons first showcase was a free RBI event. He thought he was ready and realized he had a ways to go. He was 15. 

From one that had to deal with his son deciding not to play in college (he had good mid-D1 level interest and talent) I can tell you its tough letting your son make decisions like this when they go against what you want.  I can also tell you the best thing you can do is be open with him, talk to him and listen to what he has to say.  If he doesn't want to showcase, that ok, especially at his age.  He has a few more years.  In fact unless he is a top 25 player for his age, nothing is going to come out of the showcase.  By the time the 14YOs showcase any college coaches around have probably left the showcase or are no longer paying attention to what is happening.  The most you could expect would be a good evaluation on where he stands on his measurable.  

If your son is worried about not stacking up, why not take him to a showcase so he can see the process?  Im guessing there is a PBR showcase somewhere near your house.  Once he is there and understands the process he might be more comfortable attending.  Hopefully he will see the talent level at his age and decide he will be ok.

At the end of the day its your sons decision.  I know thats tough especially at his age, but as I said being open and talking with him, without judgement, will go a long way.  Listen to what he has to say, explain why you see things the opposite way (without being judgmental or condescending) and let him know what the ramifications of his choices are.  Give him the information to make an informed decision.  My guess is that next year when a lot of his friends start talking about and attending showcases he will want to go to one.

Another question—why do PG or even PBR at 14? Seems expensive if he doesn't really know what he wants.

My 2018's first showcase was $100 at a high school near us with about 15 D3 coaches from around the state. He went with a bunch of guys from his team (and I went cause I was curious) and they had a great time, and without knowing it at the time, he learned a lot. So did I.

A few years ago, a friend's 2018 told us he was planning to get recruited in basketball. Did the weekend tournaments, league stuff at big schools and seemed headed for a nice scholarship somewhere.

Then last year he decided nope, it's baseball.

Last week, he told his parents he doesn't want to play any college sports. His mother finally confessed to me "we realized we didn't want the ride to end, but we have to let him do what's right for him, not us."

You have plenty time yet.  Also you should have a pretty good idea at this point if he has talent to play in college.  

Coach_TV posted:

...
I'm at a total loss here and believe me I've given him every logical discussion I can and all I get is "I just don't want to", no reason why, no logic behind his decision.

More of a venting post then anything, but if anyone has faced this I'd love to hear how you approached it.

Whaaattt?  Logical discussion didn't work with a 14 yo? 

IMO, this isn't a thread about showcases, it's about parents navigating the landscape of parenting a young teen.  There is an added challenge when the parent smells college sports as a primary motivator or "life lesson" tool because there is a ticking timeline attached to the recruiting process.  So, where we may otherwise tend to be more patient with the adolescent learning process, we now tend to panic and demand that the young man "get it" and get it now.

As others have said, there is a fine line.  While it is important for him to understand that there must be a plan in place and sacrifices to be made in order to reach a worthy goal, it is equally important that he take initiative on his own.  In order for him to learn the latter lesson, sometimes we have to step back and allow him to fail, even though we know that a particular action or lack of action is momentarily counterproductive toward that goal.  Then, there are other times, in our natural desire to see our kids succeed, when we just get caught up in the moment and make the event of the day a bigger deal than it really is.

How did we deal with it?  Probably with a lot of the same frustrations that you are experiencing.  Keep informing and giving him the tools but balance that with stepping back at times and letting him figure it out (as painful as that is to us).  Ask questions of him.  Steer him to resources that provide answers that aren't all just "what dad said".  At the end of the day, it does need to come largely from him and that clicks at different times for different kids.  

No worries for this year, but if he really wants to play in college, then sophomore year he needs to start to be seen and get some experience in a showcase or college camp. The first one or two take a little getting used to - interacting with coaches/adults who are evaluating you can be a bit intimidating. He needs to feel ready for sure, but as someone else said, there’s a finite time period. Good luck and enjoy this time without that pressure!

cabbagedad posted:

Coach_TV posted:

...
I'm at a total loss here and believe me I've given him every logical discussion I can and all I get is "I just don't want to", no reason why, no logic behind his decision.

More of a venting post then anything, but if anyone has faced this I'd love to hear how you approached it.

Whaaattt?  Logical discussion didn't work with a 14 yo? 

IMO, this isn't a thread about showcases, it's about parents navigating the landscape of parenting a young teen.  There is an added challenge when the parent smells college sports as a primary motivator or "life lesson" tool because there is a ticking timeline attached to the recruiting process.  So, where we may otherwise tend to be more patient with the adolescent learning process, we now tend to panic and demand that the young man "get it" and get it now.

As others have said, there is a fine line.  While it is important for him to understand that there must be a plan in place and sacrifices to be made in order to reach a worthy goal, it is equally important that he take initiative on his own.  In order for him to learn the latter lesson, sometimes we have to step back and allow him to fail, even though we know that a particular action or lack of action is momentarily counterproductive toward that goal.  Then, there are other times, in our natural desire to see our kids succeed, when we just get caught up in the moment and make the event of the day a bigger deal than it really is.

How did we deal with it?  Probably with a lot of the same frustrations that you are experiencing.  Keep informing and giving him the tools but balance that with stepping back at times and letting him figure it out (as painful as that is to us).  Ask questions of him.  Steer him to resources that provide answers that aren't all just "what dad said".  At the end of the day, it does need to come largely from him and that clicks at different times for different kids.  

Excellent! We did the same, took a step back and let him find his way. He made good decisions once we let him decide when time was right. Yes, it was a while back but the premise remains the same.

In case no one noticed, OP stated he did a PBR showcase but he (dad) wanted to get on PGs radar, more than likely one in his geographic location and wants better exposure. Thats ok, but not necessary now.

We may not be communicating but I am listening.

joes87 posted:

From one that had to deal with his son deciding not to play in college (he had good mid-D1 level interest and talent) I can tell you its tough letting your son make decisions like this when they go against what you want.  I can also tell you the best thing you can do is be open with him, talk to him and listen to what he has to say.  If he doesn't want to showcase, that ok, especially at his age.  He has a few more years.  In fact unless he is a top 25 player for his age, nothing is going to come out of the showcase.  By the time the 14YOs showcase any college coaches around have probably left the showcase or are no longer paying attention to what is happening.  The most you could expect would be a good evaluation on where he stands on his measurable.  

If your son is worried about not stacking up, why not take him to a showcase so he can see the process?  Im guessing there is a PBR showcase somewhere near your house.  Once he is there and understands the process he might be more comfortable attending.  Hopefully he will see the talent level at his age and decide he will be ok.

At the end of the day its your sons decision.  I know thats tough especially at his age, but as I said being open and talking with him, without judgement, will go a long way.  Listen to what he has to say, explain why you see things the opposite way (without being judgmental or condescending) and let him know what the ramifications of his choices are.  Give him the information to make an informed decision.  My guess is that next year when a lot of his friends start talking about and attending showcases he will want to go to one.

Like others have mentioned, save your money at his age.  There will be plenty of opportunities in the near future.  I think you mentioned son wants to maybe continue at the next level.  It's great he had the drive and works hard.  However, he has a few years to figure it out if he has the talent to take him there.  Wanting alone would make it difficult.  See how he plays this season and the next.  If he has the talent then go from there.  Playing  and excelling at the next level takes more than a want.  He has to LOVE the game and to be prepared to devote 1/2 of his college life to it. The first few showcases might be smaller ones where he can get an idea of what to expect, to get his feet wet.  I would hesitate throwing him in a major showcase as a first one with the pressure "you have to perform since many scouts will be there".  

Interesting thread.

The dad of a 14yo freshman catcher believes that his son his highly motivated, but not quite motivated enough.

Highly motivated:

"... works pretty hard at getting better, from hitting instruction, Perfect Game hitting league, Catching camps, working out with the HS team at 6am before school and attended a PBR showcase last fall... "

But not quite motivated enough:

"... I went to sign him up [for a PG showcase]  and he gives me 'I really don't want to do a showcase'.

After 9th grade my son did a local showcase sponsored by a mid major. There were also D3 program coaches watching. My son was 5’11” 135 at the time. Afterwards he said the only thing anyone there had on him was size and strength. It made him confident and motivated. Over the next year he was going to do some filling out naturally. And he was still growing. But his experience motivated him to pound down protein shakes and hit the weight room. The next year at 6’ 160 he was ready for anything. Plus he understood the weight room was important to get to at least 175.

Translate "I dunno?"

More than likely there is trash talking between his friends about other kids that have showcased.  

Sometimes it is hard to determine that line between steering your child in the right direction and pushing too hard.  My son had the natural ability and always wanted to outwork everyone so he was easy....my daughter on the other hand. Well, that is a whole other story. 

FWIW...

Neighbor's son, now a HS Jr, did not want to play on a more competitive travel team, did not want to participate in any type of workout/showcase, did not want to do extra work. That was at 13-14. Son is now saying he wants to play beyond HS.

Mom/Dad couldn't force him to go. Nothing they could do. BUT it's not too late! He still has plenty of time to work hard, grow, showcase. He's not a Power 5 player, but can definitely compete at the mid-major level.

Moral of the story: until the player is in the Fall semester of his HS senior year, he can still make something happen. Probabilities have decreased, but definitely not at zero. Just don't expect an SEC or ACC team to come knocking.